The Grass Could Be Greener

by Constance Masters

  “You need to fix that.”

  “How can I fix that?”

  “By being the rock she’s never had. Be that person who can look her in the eye and tell her that you will never let that happen. That you think she’s a wonderful and strong person who is not her mother. That you have her back and you will stop her before it ever gets that far. You need to fix up an office for her here so she has a place she can work from. Maybe you could have Caroline come a few hours a day to ensure that she has some time to write.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Don’t just tell her. Have answers to her questions. Show her how it can work. Tell her that you’re here for her and she can tell you anything.”

  “I’ll try anything at this point. I didn’t realise until you said it that she has probably just been scared.”

  *****

  Jamie stood at the front of the family room with her clipboard in hand. It was funny; she wasn’t feeling as triumphant as she had been thinking this moment was going to be at the beginning of the first week. She really thought by now she’d be standing up there sticking it to Joe about his rules. She’d changed her opinion a little but these people weren’t perfect. Her rules would reflect that.

  “Okay, my first rule, Joe, involves you,” she said purposefully. “I don’t think you realise just how hard your wife and the children work. So my first rule will be that you will take over all the chores that Sarah does in this house and that includes homeschooling the kids.”

  The husbands had been required by the show’s producers to arrange vacation time if needed from their jobs for one of the weeks of the swap in case it was needed. Joe would need to take his, there was no way he could do all this and work too.

  Joe shrugged, but the four kids mouths all dropped open, Josie’s most of all. She looked at them sympathetically. She hadn’t meant to stick it to them; all she wanted to do was make Joe appreciate what his wife did all day.

  “Don’t worry, kids. There will be a plus side for you. First, I will be doing your chores while you have a week off to be kids.” Did she really volunteer to do housework when she could have had a week off?

  Joe’s eyebrows raised, but to his credit, he didn’t say anything.

  “The next thing is, I have presents for you all.” She leant down to a box at her feet and got out four iPads.

  “No way!” Zeke squeaked as he opened his box.

  “So you know what it is?” Jamie asked.

  “Yes, ma’am of course. We used these when we went to the homeschool camp. Thank you sooo much.”

  Jamie looked at Josie who had tears in her eyes. “We get to keep these, Mrs. Winter?” she asked.

  “Yes honey, if your Dad says it’s okay after I’ve gone home. For this week most definitely.” She held her breath while she forced herself to look at Joe and what she saw surprised her. The hard-assed spanker himself had tears in his eyes.

  “Yes, you can keep them, kids, but your mother and I will keep a very close check on what you’re looking at. It will also need to be loaded with some maths and English games.”

  Josie jumped up and threw herself into her Dad’s arms. “Thank you, Daddy!” she squealed. She never thought in a million years that her dad would have agreed to such a thing.

  You could have knocked Jamie over with a feather.

  “Oh, well, that’s good then. One other rule. No more ma’am or Mrs. Winter. I’m Jamie and I won’t feel disrespected if you call me by my name. Next week you can keep the iPads by your dad’s rules and this week you can keep them by mine. Have fun. They’re already loaded with age appropriate games and you all have WiFi,” Jamie said. “Let’s hope you’ll be as happy about the next couple of things.”

  “What does it do?” Hannah asked after turning the small device over and over in her little hands.

  “Lots of neat stuff,” Matty said as he stared at his box in awe. He was almost frightened to open the packaging in case he messed it up.

  “Ok, you can play with your new things in a minute, but first you have to hear the rest of the new rules.”

  The kids sat back down and waited.

  “You all get along really well most of the time and I think that’s just great, but there are other kids in this neighbourhood that I think would be fun for you to get to know.”

  “How?” Zeke asked. “They think we’re weird.”

  “Why would you think they think that?”

  “They look at us funny, probably because we don’t go to the local school like them and we don’t play on teams like they do. We dress different.”

  “How many times have you tried to talk to them?” Jamie asked.

  “I guess we haven’t,” Josie said.

  “See? Maybe they think you’re not very friendly.”

  “Maybe,” Zeke said.

  “I think we should have a party, invite some of the kids in and let them get to know you. Then you could get to know them too.” She looked over at Joe, who wasn’t looking too happy about the party. Well tough. She’d done everything their way the first week. Now was her turn.

  *****

  “What are they going to do to earn all these rewards?” Joe said, when the kids had taken their new gifts to their rooms to investigate.

  “Nothing. They’re just kids. They don’t have to earn every little thing. You aren’t as mean as I first thought, but you are way too strict. Kids should just be kids. Let them make a few choices. Josie is thirteen years old and has never been to the mall to just shop for stuff she wanted. Not needed, not pre-approved and not educational. Just stuff because she liked the look of it and decided to have it. She doesn’t even know what her own taste is.”

  “There’ll be time for all that later. Kids need rules.”

  “Not really. These are good kids.”

  “They’re good kids because they’ve been moulded that way. It’s not the luck of the draw.”

  “Your opinion.”

  “Yes, it is. My opinion trumps yours because they’re my kids.”

  “But this is my week.”

  “I won’t have my kids corrupted by all this.”

  “Have you forgotten the rules? You have to give the money back, remember, if you don’t play by my rules!”

  Joe hissed something under his breath. “You better make sure my children are safe. If you let them run wild in the mall they’ll be out of control by the end of the week.”

  “No, they won’t,” Jamie said. “I know I messed up with the movies, but this is different. This is about seeing if they can make good choices.”

  “You might think this is your call, but I’m telling you... watch your step. Rules or not.”

  “Oh my goodness! Is Mr. Clean Living spanker with all the answers scared of a little change?”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “Oh really? How about a bet?”

  “I don’t bet.”

  Jamie rolled her eyes. “A game of chance then, like church bingo. If the kids can handle a little decision-making and they don’t lose their heads, then they get to keep anything they buy.”

  “And if their behaviour disintegrates under your not so watchful eye?”

  “They don’t get to keep the stuff?”

  “Probably, not but that’s not my pick! You got to pick your prize, I’m going to pick mine.”

  “Go ahead. Pick your prize, you big baby.”

  “Did you just call me a baby?” Joe asked with narrowed eyes.

  “I calls ‘em as I sees ‘em.”

  “Lordy, if I was married to you, I would spank you everyday and twice on Sundays.”

  “Seems like we’re both lucky then.”

  Joe’s hand was itching. “That’s the prize I choose,” he said triumphantly. “You throw my house into chaos with your free thinking ideas and I get to spank you.”

  “That’s not fair! It’s my week. I get my way.”

  Joe shrugged. “It was your idea, Princess.”

  “Okay. Fine. The kids get to ke
ep the stuff regardless. My prize will be dinner at a nice restaurant where we dress up nicely like grown ups. “

  “I’ll agree to that.”

  “Good. Make a booking because I intend to win.”

  “We’ll see,” Joe said with a smug smile.

  “Why wouldn’t the kids be happy if they get to have things a little easier around here. They need to make some choices on their own. They’re going to be great and their going to help me win.”

  “We’ll see.”

  “Chop, chop Joe,” Jamie said clapping her hands and poking out her tongue. “Better get your lessons ready. Oh, and it’s Monday, the sheets need to be done. Don’t forget to hang them in the sun. Oh, and Joe? I haven’t had my coffee yet or my eggs.”

  “Oh you’ll keep, little Miss Smarty Pants.”

  *****

  “Hello!” Sarah said happily when Jeremy came through the door.

  “Hi, Daddy.” Sophie said. “I’m setting the table.”

  “You are?” Jeremy said. “I’m impressed.”

  “The knife goes on this side, Soph,” Sarah gently pointed out.

  “Yes, Ma’am.” the little girl said, her curls all tied neatly into a ponytail and tied with a bow.

  Jeremy smiled. “You let Sarah brush out your knots?”

  “Uh–huh. Miss Sarah made me.”

  “Oh.” Jeremy glanced at Sarah, who smiled.

  “How’d she do that?”

  “Miss Sarah, Daddy,” Sophie said. “She ain’t nobody’s name.”

  “Isn’t,” Sarah said.

  Poppy hugged her Daddy’s legs. “I doing napkins,” she said.

  “I can see. Good girl.”

  Poppy purposefully followed her sister, dumping the napkins none too gently on the table near the knives.

  “Okay, girls. Go wash your hands like I showed you with soap. Make sure you turn off the water.”

  “I could go with them,” Jeremy said.

  “You could, but then you would be undermining me, wouldn’t you?”

  “What if they don’t turn off the tap?”

  “You can check after them, then if they have forgotten, you take them in there and explain that they must turn it off after they use it.”

  “Okay, what can I do?”

  “Whatever you want. Why don’t you take a look at Jamie’s office?”

  “Yeah, good idea.”

  *****

  Sarah found herself feeling increasingly sorry for Jamie over the next few days. She was an adult who had never had proper parenting and she found that incredibly sad. She was here with the girls but the one person she really wanted to help was miles away with her family. She hoped that Joe had been able to do what she hadn’t been able to. Show her how a family worked.

  Sophie and Poppy were just blooming. They loved to learn their letters and sounds and Sophie was already starting to read early starter books. Only a few repetitive words per page but it was something. It was a shame that Jamie wasn’t here to see them in action. Sarah needed her to see what her daughters had been able to learn in a week.

  “Look, Miss Sarah!” Sophie said, proudly holding up a paper with her name scrawled in messy red print.

  “Wow, Soph,” Sarah said. “Your mommy is going to be so proud. You know what? Why don’t we make her a surprise for when she comes home?”

  “Yay!” Sophie nodded enthusiastically.

  “Me too?” Poppy asked, shoving a piece of paper and a crayon under Sarah’s nose.

  “Yes Pops. You too,” Sarah said.

  *****

  Later that night, Sarah was busily spraying the girls’ handy work with hairspray to preserve it when Jeremy wandered in. She could tell he wanted to talk. He looked like Zeke when he wanted to ask for something he didn’t think they had a chance of getting or he wanted to confess to some misdeed.

  “Hi,” she said with a smile.

  “Hi. I went to read to Soph,” he said.

  “Let me guess. She read to you?”

  “I’m shocked.”

  “See? I told you she could do much more than what you were expecting of her.”

  “Yeah. I can see that now.”

  Sarah could detect a note of something in his voice that wasn’t entirely happy. “But you’re not over the moon are you? Are you still worried about what Jamie will think?”

  “Sort of. She’ll be really proud of both the girls. It’s not about that.”

  Sarah nodded. “Can I help?” she asked.

  Jeremy shuffled a little nervously. “I don’t know,” he said. “I was wondering…”

  “Yes?”

  “Nah, it’s okay. I was just thinking of something,” he said.

  “No, tell me,” Sarah said, not wanting him to bolt before he’d told her. “I’ll be happy to help if I can.”

  “I don’t know where to start, to be honest.”

  “Just say it,” she said with a smile.

  “I’m worried,” Jeremy said. “Jamie will be back in a few days. I want things to be different than the way they were before she left. I like this, the way things are. I like the feeling that we’re making progress and not just marking time.”

  “The ball’s in your court Jeremy. You can let Jamie keep running away from here because she’s scared or you can put your foot down and do something about it.”

  “That’s just it. I have made that decision, but I don’t know if she’ll listen to me.”

  “She will if you make what you want for the two of you clear enough.”

  “What makes the difference with you and Joe? Is it the spanking or what he says? What’s the magic ingredient that will make our marriage better?”

  “That’s so hard. There’s no magic ingredient and no two relationships are the same. I think it’s more about respect than anything. You need to gain her respect before you do anything. Use your best authoritative voice.”

  Jeremy nodded. “Okay.”

  “I don’t think you need to worry. She’s been living with Joe for two weeks. It won’t come as too much of a surprise,” she giggled.

  “You don’t think he would have spanked her, do you?”

  “If she gave him reason, I know he would.”

  Jeremy was silent for a few minutes. Pictures not altogether punitive flickered through his mind. “Thanks Sarah. I’m just going to get ready for bed,” he said, getting out of the kitchen as fast as he could.

  Chapter 9

  It’d been quite a day. Words couldn’t describe how elated Jamie had been when she got to hand the kids the money and yet she wanted to note it down while the feeling was still fresh in her mind.

  “Today was great. The whole week has been great. The children seem to be fine with their Dad taking on their schoolwork. So does he. I even caught him smiling a couple of times. I swear though that he almost swore a couple of times wrestling the sheets onto the outside line. Ah, it’s the simplest things that make you smile sometimes.

  Today I took the kids shopping. It was the best shopping day I can remember. The producers sent over an envelope of money with instructions for me to spend it on the kids. Made my day. I did better than that though, I gave the two older ones their own money and let them spend it themselves. I haven’t even seen what Josie bought yet. She said she wanted to surprise me at the party tomorrow so I’m guessing clothes. That’s pretty normal behaviour for an almost teenage girl. I truly believe that if a child is raised right then they can be trusted to make a few decisions on their own.

  Zeke bought an X–box and some games. I don’t think those kids have seen that much money in one place, let alone in their hot little hands to spend on what ever they want. It was magic. We got little Hannah some clothes and some dress up costumes and a few new dolls. She’d never seen a Barbie before. Every little girl should have at least one Barbie doll.

  I guess we’ll see how Joe feels when he realises all the things Sarah does and also how the kids react to their new found power over the next couple of days. At l
east they’ll be looking a little more like the kids that live around here in their new outfits.”

  *****

  Jamie was filling a piñata with candy and small toys. The counters were covered in donuts she’d tied up with string. She was going to put that outside clothesline to good use.

  Jamie was poised with a handful of balls at the entrance of the brightly coloured donkey when a blood curdling scream from the family room made her stop in her tracks. A handful of bouncing balls rolled across the counter and onto the floor. The flustered young woman ran into the room as fast as she could, thanking God as she went that she’d sent Joe to get ice for the soft drinks. This had been her third such trip since he’d left.

  “What’s all the screaming about?” she hissed as if her own tempered voice would miraculously calm the situation. “You’re supposed to be blowing up balloons.”

  “Matty taked mine and busted it!” Hannah wailed.

  “That wasn’t nice, Matty,” Jamie said.

  “It was mean,” Hannah said trying to kick her brother.

  “Stop that, Hanny!” Jamie said. “You too, Matty. Stop teasing your little sister. If your Daddy comes back and sees you being naughty, there won’t be a party.”

  “Where’s Josie?” she asked. The last time she’d been in it was to break up an argument between the older ones over who had natural rights to the television. She’d switched it back off then and it was now back on again.

  “Um. She went upstairs,” Zeke said, not lifting his eyes from the new gaming machine he’d bought at the mall with his money.

  “I thought I turned that off,” she said.

  Zeke shrugged. “She’s not here anymore,” he said not even looking up from his game until it was switched off.

  “Hey!” he spluttered. “That’s not fair! Josie chose girly crap. She still has her stuff.”

  So much for the Ma’am manners from the first day. She was starting to think she might have been wrong about this. Could be that they were just excited, though.

  “That isn’t a nice word and we’re having guests soon. You can’t be wearing your pajamas Zeke. Go take a shower and get changed.”