by Lori Foster
“Yes?”
“What exactly are your plans for me and Dash? We have to leave soon and I don’t want to disturb your life any more than we have. If you can just assure me that you’ll help me with Dash I can be out of your hair soon.”
“I don’t want you out of my hair soon. I plan to marry you.”
Chapter 4
I Really Can’t Stay.… Baby, It’s Cold Outside …
Ben almost laughed when he saw Dina’s big, beautiful hazel eyes bulge, but he didn’t because he knew he had just dropped a bomb on her. He had just dropped a bomb on himself. He never thought he would get married again, never thought he would share his life with another person after Karen died. But he couldn’t let Dash walk out of his life. Or Dina for that matter. He didn’t know what made him offer marriage. It might have been the time he spent with Dash last night. It made him remember how much he wanted to be a father. It made him realize how empty his life had become these past few years. It made him not want to go back to the way things were. He stared at Dina. She sat before him with shock and uncertainty etched on her pretty face. It could have been her too. His brother had treated her badly. Her family wasn’t a part of her life. She was just as alone as he was. She didn’t have to be. She shouldn’t have to struggle or be unsure of her son’s future. He could do that for her. He could protect her. Protect them.
He couldn’t keep Virgil alive. He couldn’t save his brother, but he could keep his son safe. He could give the boy everything and in the process gain the family he always wanted.
Marriage seemed to be the only way to do that.
“Hold up.” She hopped off the counter and poked him in the chest. “What the hell do you mean you plan to marry me? I may be a poor unwed single mother with no job, no home and no prospects, but I’m still a woman and a feminist. The least you could do is ask me. I’m going to say no, but a girl likes to be asked. You don’t even love me and let’s not mention the fact that I’ve been here less than twenty-four hours and that I am the mother of your brother’s son and that that is the craziest idea that anybody has ever thought of ever. Plus—”
He grabbed her hand, gently squeezing her fingers in order to stop the endless stream of words that were coming out of her mouth. “Are you finished yet?”
“Well, I don’t know. You got any other crazy-ass ideas rolling around in that head of yours?”
“Just the one and it’s not so crazy.” He motioned to the table, inviting her to sit. “Will you listen?”
“Do I have any other choice?”
“Yes. Your other choice involves me throwing you out of here in just your underwear and that T-shirt.”
She sat down and crossed her long legs, irritably jiggling her foot. “I guess we’re about to have this conversation.”
He felt the corner of his lip tug. He wanted to smile again. She made him want to smile again. He hadn’t had a reason to for a long time. “I’ve always wanted children,” he started. “But my wife, Karen, had a very hard time getting pregnant and when she did she always miscarried. We went through three of them and one stillbirth in seven years of marriage. That last time was extremely hard on her.…” He trailed off, trying to stop the painful memories that sometimes invaded his thoughts. “After she died I couldn’t bring myself to remarry. I loved her too much to try and replace her with another woman. And for a long time I thought my chances of fatherhood had died with her, but then you showed up yesterday with Dash. He needs to be supported, Dina, and I know you could do a fine job of raising him yourself, but I think every boy needs a father. I would like the chance to be his.”
“I see,” she said softly. “But why do you want to marry me? I want you to have a role in his life.”
“Having my only blood relation raised three thousand miles away is not acceptable to me. I want him to grow up here. I want to see him every day. You come with him and it would better for him if the world saw him as the product of a married couple than Virgil’s discarded offspring. I want him to have a real father.”
“I need another reason, Ben.” She looked him in the eye, searching for something he couldn’t figure out. “I-I just need more.”
“If you marry me people will stop thinking I’m a reclusive hermit. Having people think I’m the next Howard Hughes is bad for business.”
She grinned at him. “Try again.”
He looked away from her, from her pretty full lips and soft smile. “I think we could be friends. This house gets to be a lonely place sometimes. You and Dash could be my family.”
She looked so unsure. He didn’t want to push her. He knew how crazy this sounded, but she had come into his life for a reason.
“If I married you, what would you require of me?”
“To raise my son. To be my companion and accompany me places sometimes.”
“What about sex?”
“What about it?”
“Would you expect me to have it with you?”
“No,” he said, although last night for the first time in years he felt … awareness of her as a woman. It had been so long since Karen had died, so long since he had been around another woman; it was only natural for his natural urges to reappear. “I just want to be your friend.”
She said nothing.
“You don’t have to decide right now. Stay with me until Christmas. That’s twelve days. If you don’t like being here you can leave with no hard feelings.”
“And what will happen to Dash if we go?”
“I’ll send you a check each month until he comes of age.”
“And if we stay?”
“He’ll be raised as a Rowe. He’ll have everything you have ever wanted for him and more. And you too. If you stay, Dina, you’ll be my wife. You’ll never have to work or struggle again.”
She was quiet for a long moment. “I know this is going to sound crazy to you. Hell, it sounds crazy to me, but I don’t just want to be somebody’s wife. I have dreams too, you know. And surprisingly none of them involve being supported by you.”
It wasn’t what he expected to hear from her, but her words made him more curious about her than ever. “What are your dreams?”
She seemed surprised by his question. “I used to be a dancer. I was good at it. I really was. I moved out to LA because I thought somehow I might have a shot of making it, but it seems nobody wants to hire an over-thirty-years-old dancer for a music video. I learned very quickly that in the dance industry over twenty-five means over the hill. I didn’t dance again for a long time, but after I had Dash I walked into our community center and this lady was teaching ballet to little girls. I don’t know what happened, but I sort of fell head over ass in love with them. They had little pink tutus and cute faces and they were so happy to be there. It reminded me of how I felt when I first went to dance class. So I started to help out with classes on the weekends and putting the little money I got from teaching into a savings account. I want to open my own little studio one day. I want something that I can build from the ground up.” She looked down at her hands, looking bashful for a moment. “It probably sounds like a silly dream to you.”
“No, it doesn’t. It’s a nice dream and if you marry me you can have it as soon as you wish. If you marry me you wouldn’t have to work so hard. You could spend more time with Dash. You can have everything you ever dreamed of for him.”
Chapter 5
We Need a Little Christmas …
But would she have her freedom?
Two years ago she would have jumped at the chance, but she didn’t want to be dependent on Ben. She didn’t want to be a user. She could support herself. She could make her own dreams come true.
And marriage? She knew she had been unlucky in the love department, but she held out hope that one day she would fall in love. That one day she could have the kind of marriage her mother and stepfather had. She wanted her own happy ending.
But how could she deny Dash the chance to have the world? She knew alone, even with child support, she c
ouldn’t give him everything. She couldn’t be both his mother and father. She could raise him alone, but he deserved a father. She knew from her own childhood how hard it was to go without one.
“Oh, sir!” Rebecca came into the kitchen. “What are you doing in here cooking for yourself? You should have called for me.” She rushed forward looking more distressed than Dina had seen anybody be in a very long time. “I would have gotten anything you like. What can I do for you?”
“Well,” Dina said, “you can start by congratulating us. We just got engaged.”
“What!” She put her hand over her heart. “Excuse me. I was just surprised. Congratulations. Please, miss. Is there anything I can do for you?”
“She’s kidding, Rebecca. We don’t need anything. You may go.” He turned back to face Dina. “You’ll stay?”
“Yes. For twelve days. If I don’t like you or if I find out anything freaky about you, like you like to wear wedding dresses in your free time or you have a booger collection, I’m taking me and my kid out of here so fast your head will spin.”
“Okay. That sounds agreeable. We can discuss this more later if you would like.” He stood up and walked away.
“Ben,” she called when his foot hit the threshold. “Just one more thing?”
“What is it?”
“Can you show me how to get back to my room? I’m not sure how.”
* * *
Six hours later Ben sat alone in his office. The house was empty, as he had just sent his entire staff home for the holidays. It might have been a crazy move with a strange woman and baby in the house, but if he was going to be Dash’s father he wanted to spend time with the boy like a real father would. That meant no servants hovering around trying to do everything that he was capable of himself. He wanted time to get to know Dash.
“Sir?” He looked up when he heard Dovie’s voice.
He looked at the woman who was more his mother than his servant. She had barely come to see him anymore. Dash’s arrival had changed that. “Why do you call me sir? You know I don’t like it.”
Dovie lifted her head proudly. “Because it is proper. You are the head of the household. It’s a sign of respect.”
“You’ve given me a bath; you’ve changed my diapers. I think it would be all right if you called me by my given name like you used to.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Even if we are alone?”
“Fine.” She smiled at him. “Ben, I’ve come to tell you that I’m in love with that little boy. He looks just like you were when you were a baby. I could swoon.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
“I took him and his mama shopping today. We got some really nice things for Ms. Gregory. Wait till you see her. The woman looks like Ava Gardner when she’s cleaned up. And Dash! Well, he really will be dashing when he wears the little suit she got for him to wear on Christmas day. She didn’t even spend a lot of money on it. She found it on the clearance rack. In fact, she barely spent any money at all. I think she’s a good woman, Ben.” Dovie looked into his eyes. “I was thinking since you don’t need me so much, maybe I could go live with them and help raise him.”
No. He didn’t say the word, but it seemed his entire body stiffened at her request.
“I’ve invited her to stay, Dovie. I would like to raise Dash as my own.”
“Do you now?”
He wondered what was going on in Dovie’s mind. She clearly had an opinion she wasn’t willing to share. “I do. I also gave the entire staff the holidays off. I want you to go back to South Carolina and visit with your family.”
“But I don’t want to go there. There’s hardly anybody left anymore.” He couldn’t ignore the sadness in her eyes.
“Then where would you like to go? I’ll send you anywhere on the planet.”
“If it’s all the same to you, sir, I would rather stay here. With everybody gone who’s going to do all the cooking and cleaning?” She got up shaking her head. “You need me to stay. I’ll come back and the house will be in shambles. Oh no. I can’t let that happen.”
His eyes followed her as she left the room still mumbling to herself and he spotted Dina standing just outside the doorway with a small smile on her face.
“Hello,” he greeted her.
She walked into the room much more dressed than she had been the last two times he saw her. She wore an unadorned gray dress that probably would have looked plain on another woman but suited Dina very nicely. It hugged her lush-looking body and flattered her curves. Her thick hair was neatly brushed and braided and she looked … perfectly appropriate. But he kind of missed the sight of her long bare legs and the hint of pink underwear he saw every time she moved.
“Hi.” She walked in the room seeming almost shy around him. “I wanted to bring Dash up, but the shopping trip wiped him out. I don’t think he likes to cruise the sales racks as much as his mother does.”
“Maybe next time you can leave him here with me.”
“Maybe.” She walked towards him, a small piece of paper in her hand. “I wanted to give you this.”
He unfolded the paper to find that it was a receipt from her shopping trip. Dovie was right; Dina barely spent anything at all. Just over two hundred dollars for her and Dash at a discount department store.
“What’s this?” He looked up at her. “When I sent you to the store to buy things you needed, I expected you to buy things you needed.”
“I did,” she said quietly. “Okay, so maybe I didn’t need the nail polish, but the rest of the stuff is legit. I need to wipe Dash with the hypoallergenic wipes or he gets a rash. I know they are more expensive, but—”
“I don’t care about the wipes. I expected you to buy more. If you are going to be my wife I expect you to be clothed in an appropriate manner.”
“We aren’t married. We might never be. I don’t want you supporting me. And minus the things I bought for Dash, I owe you seventy-five bucks.”
Her statement surprised him so much he didn’t know what to say.
“Besides, I think I look pretty good.” She did a dramatic turn and he got a glimpse of how her dress really curved over her backside. “This dress only cost seven dollars and I got the boots on sale for nineteen.” She turned back to him, her face serious. “You don’t like the way I look?”
She was beautiful in her seven-dollar dress and cheap boots. Just as beautiful as she was in her ratty T-shirt. “You look fine, but that’s not the point. I wanted you to get whatever you wanted. For these next two weeks I don’t want you to worry about money.”
Her eyes lit up for a moment, but she briefly closed them as if she were putting out her own flame.
“What is it?”
“There is something I want. But it’s not something I can get from the store.”
“Tell me.”
“This is Dash’s first Christmas and I want it to be special for him. But this house.” She looked around her. “It doesn’t feel like Christmas. I want it to feel like Christmas for him.”
* * *
Dina didn’t know what she expected from Ben when she told him what she wanted. She half-expected condescension or laughter or snark, but he got up from his desk, took her by the hand and led her out of his office without a word. They traveled through the long quiet hallways of the house in silence. She knew she should wonder where they were going, but instead she was focused on the way Ben’s hand felt around hers. Nobody simply held her hand. She never thought of herself as a hand-holding girl, but feeling his big, warm fingers around hers was kind of nice. She felt almost protected when she was with him, and she didn’t know why. He was a stranger to her. A stranger who offered her marriage. She didn’t trust him. She shouldn’t trust him. So why was there a part of her that felt like she was safer here in this museum-like house than she had been anywhere else in her life?
“Where are we going?” she finally asked as he led her up a narrow, dark staircase in a part of the house she didn’t know e
xisted.
“To the attic.”
“Are you going to chain me to the wall?”
“Not today.”
“Are you going to show me your large collection of sex toys?”
“I keep that in the basement.” He looked back at her and for the first time she saw a little mischievousness in his eyes.
“I find basements are too damp for my sex toys. Mold is a bitch.”
He shook his head at her comment before coming to a stop at the small door. “I haven’t been up here in years, but I imagine that everything is still the same.”
He stepped aside to let her in. The room was vast, running the length of the entire house, but all she saw was white dust sheets from floor to ceiling. She looked back at him, unsure of what his purpose was.
“This is where Christmas is.” He looked around the attic. “Somewhere up here.”
“You mean, we are going to have to look through this big, huge, dusty attic to find the Christmas decorations?”
“No, you are. I’m going back to work. Good luck.” He turned away from her.
“Hey!” She grabbed his suit coat. “You can’t leave me up here.”
“No?”
“Well, you could at least send some of your servants.”
“I can’t. I sent them home for the holidays an hour ago. Except Dovie, and you don’t expect a seventy-five-year-old lady to go digging through boxes, do you?”
“It’s just you and me here?” She didn’t know what to think of that. He must have sent the servants home every year for Christmas. There could be no other explanation as to why he would make it so they were practically alone.
“Not just you and me. Dash and Dovie are here too.”
“Well then, buster. I suggest you take off that pretty suit jacket, because you might get blood or dust on it.”
“Blood or dust?”
“Dust from the attic if you stay or blood from your nose if you don’t.”
“You threatening me, Dina?” He smiled at her, fully smiled at her for the first time, and she was blown away by how his whole face changed. Before she thought Virgil was the charmer, but Ben, there was something about Ben too.
