by Lori Foster
“Oh … Wow.” She felt herself blush. She never blushed. “That’s really impressive. I think I should be flattered.”
“Get out!”
“Okay. Okay.” She hopped out of his bed. “But if you ever need somebody to take a closer look at that thing, you know where to find me.”
* * *
Dina. She drove him crazy.
He had spent the better part of an hour in his bed waiting for his body to calm down. But it wouldn’t. Every time he closed his eyes and tried to focus on something else he kept thinking about her. About her curvy body beneath his, how good her skin smelled, how soft it felt beneath his lips and how she moaned when he kissed it and how she moved her body so it fit just right with his. She was the only person on the planet who had the power to make him feel uptight and comfortable at the same time.
What the hell was happening? Yes, he was attracted to her, any red-blooded man would be, but he had been attracted to women before and he had been able to control himself. He wished he could have blamed what happened between them that morning on him being in a deep sleep, on his dreaming, but he knew who he was touching when he touched her. It was her he was dreaming about when he dreamed.
Nine years had been too long to go without sex and he had made the mistake of inviting a woman into his home who could make a priest give up his vows.
Ben finally forced himself out of bed and into an icy shower. He had to face her. He had promised her he would spend time with her and be with Dash and act like part of the family she wanted. He had asked her to marry him. As crazy as that was, as much as a possible disaster as it could be, he still wanted to go through with it. He wanted a son. This was his last chance for it.
When he opened his door he found her sitting on the floor in the hallway between their bedrooms. Dovie sat near her in a rocking chair holding Dash. He gave her a silent hello before he turned his attention back to Dina, who was so engrossed in looking through the boxes that she didn’t notice he was there.
“Oh, Dovie, look at this.” Dina held up a silver and white antique glass house ornament that he had seen every year on their Christmas tree when his mother was alive. “I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anything so delicate.”
“It’s lovely, child.”
“You think Ben would mind it if we had more than one Christmas tree? I would like to put a little one in the nursery with some of these special ornaments. They are too nice to go on a big tree. They’ll get lost.”
“You can have whatever you want, Dina.”
She looked up at him, smiling happily as if she was glad to see him. There was no awkwardness coming from her, no shyness. “Come.” She held out her hand to him.
He hesitated for a moment. There was a world of memories locked inside of those boxes. Memories of his mother and Christmas days with his family and of good times. He should be eager to look through them with Dina, but if he let the memories flood the bad ones would come too and he would remember the first Christmas without his mother, and how life had changed so much for them after that and how the holiday had lost all meaning for him when he was so young.
“Bring Dash,” she prompted him softly.
“Yes, sir. Take him,” Dovie said, handing Dash to him. “I need to get you a cup of coffee. Ms. Gregory, would you like something?”
“Ms. Gregory?” Dina dramatically looked around the empty hallway. “I don’t see any Ms. Gregorys here. There’s a Dina here and a Ben and a Dash, but there are no Ms. Gregorys.”
“Dina, can I get you something?”
“Yes, Hugh Jackman on a bed of lettuce. No? You’re all out of that? Maybe a glass of water then.”
Ben watched Dovie walk away shaking her head, but she was smiling. It was something he hadn’t seen from her in a long time.
“Pop a squat.” Dina patted the floor beside her.
“Pop a squat?”
“That’s my low-class way of asking you to sit.” She blinked at him for a moment. “You are totally not going to want to marry me after Christmas. You can’t take me anywhere. I’m too much like my mother.”
That wasn’t true. If he didn’t marry Dina it wouldn’t be for that reason.
“Hi,” came from his arms. He looked down to see Dash staring up at him, a curious look in his eye.
“Did he just greet me?”
“Yes.” She smiled proudly. “He’s a genius. Sit down, Ben.”
He obeyed, setting the boy on his feet after he did so he could just look at him for a moment. He wore a tiny red sweater with a reindeer on it and little blue jeans. Ben was still so amazed that this little boy had come into his life. And at Christmastime. There was no better present. “Hello, son. You look very festive today.”
“He’s freaking adorable.” Dina leaned over and kissed her son’s cheek. “We have to get you a matching sweater so we can take pictures.”
Matching sweaters? Pictures?
“I’m glad you’re here. I need your help sorting this stuff out. What do you want to go up?”
The woman was somewhat of a whirlwind. He looked at all the decorations she had pulled out of the boxes and then to Dina, who was happily sorting through them. Things he hadn’t seen in years. After his mother died, Christmas stopped being a major event and over the years the displays got smaller and smaller until one year his father told the staff not to bother with it at all. That was a sad day, especially for Ben, because it was the day he felt like his mother had finally fully slipped away for him.
“Whatever you want, Dina,” he said, feeling a lump in his chest.
“You keep telling me I can have whatever I want. You’re going to regret that one day.”
“We haven’t had Christmas here since I’ve been an adult.”
“Not even with your wife?”
“No. We always spent Christmas day at her parents’ home.” She had never made Christmas into a big event. He thought she might when they were first married. He had hoped she would bring the splendor back to Windermere, but the holiday never seemed very important to her.
“My mother is Jewish, but my stepfather is as Waspy as they come, so we had a big Christmas every year. Eggnog and mistletoe and even a goose.”
“A goose?”
“A Christmas goose. Just like in A Christmas Carol. He ordered it special every year. My mother is a strict vegetarian, so he and my little sister would spend hours in the kitchen on Christmas day cooking it.”
He didn’t miss the wistfulness in Dina’s voice. She missed her family. It was a shame she couldn’t be with them. “Where were you during that?”
“With my mother. She liked to go shopping the day after Christmas and spent hours on Christmas strategizing which stores she was going to hit first.”
“When’s the last time you saw them?” He knew he was prying, but he wanted to know about her; he wanted to know her.
“Two years ago.” She picked up a small wooden soldier and cradled it in her hand. “The detail on this thing is amazing. It must have been hand painted. It makes me sad that nobody makes things like this anymore.”
It made him sad that she lost so much time with them. “They’ve never met Dash?”
“No.”
“You’ve been totally alone this whole time?”
“Yes.” She offered him a small smile. “But not for much longer. Some crazy guy might want to marry me.”
She was smiling at him, but he could feel her sorrow, the shame hanging over her. He wanted to tell her that it was never too late to make up with her family to right whatever wrong she thought she did, but he couldn’t give her advice. He couldn’t keep his family together either.
He leaned over, surprising himself by pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Would you like to come out with me today?”
Chapter 7
It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year …
Dina watched Ben as he adjusted Dash’s hat over his ears and fussed with his coat. Dash just kind of stared at Ben in wonder as they wal
ked through the quiet, snowy streets of the small village that surrounded Windermere. Dina looked at him in wonder too. He cared about her son. The cynic in her really wanted to distrust Ben, like she distrusted all men. He was a stranger. But there was something about him. He was good with Dash. And for the first time in his young life Dash had somebody else who was willing to love him. That was one of her fears as a single mother. That her son would grow up with only her to love him.
And then Ben came along. And even though they had just met, even though the circumstances were crazy, she was starting to feel a little something for him. There was something about him.
“I grew up about a half hour from here, but I’ve never been to this town. I never realized how lovely this place is.”
Ben looked down at her. “You grew up near here?”
She nodded. “In Durant. Tell me about this place,” she said so she wouldn’t have to tell him about the home she hadn’t seen since her little sister got married, about the place she wasn’t worthy of returning to.
“My great-grandmother was from the village. She met my great-grandfather when he was up here scouting places to build a steel mill, but he fell in love with her instead. My grandmother was willing to give up this town and move her life to the city. But my grandfather saw how much she loved this little village and instead of building a mill he built a Windermere for her. He moved his life here for her.”
“That’s very romantic. People don’t do things like that anymore.” She shook her head. “Well, maybe that’s not true. My brother-in-law would do anything for my sister. He quit his job and went into a huge amount of debt just so he could make her dream of owning her own business come true. And my stepfather, he turned down a high-paying job at Stanford just so he could be with my mother. I guess people do crazy things all the time in the name of love. I guess I just haven’t had anybody want to do something like that for me.”
She stopped talking, feeling foolish for revealing so much of herself to Ben. She could hear the sadness in her voice. Feel the heaviness in her chest. It was something that she tried to avoid, thinking about her family. She had caused the rift between them. Their absence was her fault. She missed them and yet she wasn’t ready to face them. Not until she could show them that she could stand on her own, that she could make something of herself. She just wished she knew how long it would take until she got there.
Ben gently looped his arm through hers and led her through the center of town. This place felt like Christmas. It looked like Christmas with the pristine white snow and the clean-smelling air and the old-fashioned decorations. It was so different from LA. This was the type of place she would like to raise her son in. Even if things never worked out between her and Ben, she didn’t think she had the heart to take Dash away from him. She might have to settle in this little town so Dash could be near him.
Ben stopped in front of a large evergreen in the town’s square. “Look, son.” He pointed to the top and Dash’s eyes followed. “You see that star? They are going to light it in a few days. It’s a tradition here. A week before Christmas the entire town comes out to light the tree and sing carols. When it’s very quiet I can hear the celebration from the house and from my office I see the tree. I would like to show it to you this year, Dash. If your mother allows you to stay up that late.”
“Wouldn’t it be more fun to come to the tree lighting instead of watching it from your office?”
“You want to go?” He looked surprised.
“Yeah. Why not? It sounds like fun.”
“I haven’t been since I was very small. Not since my mother died.”
“Oh.” She stood closer to him, leaning against him for a moment. It was an involuntary action. This was a hard time of year for him, just as hard as it was for her. Maybe they were thrown together for a reason. Maybe they just weren’t meant to be alone at Christmas. “I think we should make a new tradition. I would like Dash to go to his first tree lighting with you.”
“It was always cold those nights,” Ben said with a small, almost wistful smile. “My mother would dress us in our warmest pajamas and down coats and Dovie would pack us a huge thermos of hot chocolate. I remember being so excited. I didn’t get to go to school with the other kids, so it was one of the few times we got to play with the local children. We would run around and throw snowballs and just as we were about to drive our parents crazy the ceremony would start and the whole town broke out into ‘Silent Night.’ And when it was over my parents would take us home and feed us shortbread cookies and for that one night we got to sleep in front of the fireplace. It was my favorite time of year.”
“Why did you stop going?”
“My mother died right before Christmas when I was eight. Nothing was ever the same after that.”
“No,” Dina agreed. “It wouldn’t be, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make Dash’s Christmases as happy as yours once were.”
“I would like very much for Dash to have happy Christmases.”
He looked at her son before pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. Dash closed his eyes as if he were savoring Ben’s affection as if it was something he had been missing out on his entire life. Dina felt a large lump form in her chest. It choked her. He needed this. They both needed this.
“I would like to get some pie now,” Ben said to her. “There’s a little place not far from here that serves the best apple pie on the planet. I would like to buy you some.”
“And I would like to eat some. Let’s go.”
* * *
Ben watched Dina’s eyes grow wide as the waitress set her slice of pie down in front of her. After minutes of agonizing over the menu and questioning him about every flavor she had settled on cherry, his second favorite.
“This looks amazing,” she said before she thanked the waitress. Dina’s smile was wide. Her eyes practically danced with enjoyment. Never had he met anybody so excited about a piece of pie.
“My little sister loves cherry pie,” she said more to herself than to him.
“Ellis?”
“Yeah,” Dina answered, but that one word was filled with so much heaviness that it caused him to feel her sadness too. “I was so mean to her when we were kids. I loved her, only God knows how much I did, but I was always picking on her. If I ever have another kid I hope Dash isn’t as mean to them as I was to her.”
“Why did you tease her?”
“Because her father loved her and mine didn’t.” She tried to shrug the statement away like it was nothing. “It took me a long time to figure it out, but I’ve got daddy issues.” She gave him a wobbly smile. “My parents divorced when I was two. My mother remarried and when I was ten my real father stopped coming around. So I took it out on Ellis and my stepfather, Walter. I was evil.”
He shook his head, not believing that was true. Hurt? Yes. Jealous? Absolutely. But he could never see her as evil. “I hated Virgil sometimes,” he admitted for the first time aloud. “He seemed to get everything without even trying. Friends would flock to him when I had to work hard to make connections. Things just fell into his lap when I spent hours trying to get ahead. He was more popular and smarter and more handsome then I could ever be and sometimes I hated my brother. I was jealous of him.”
She reached across the table and gently locked fingers with Ben. “For the record. I don’t think he was more handsome. But then again, I got a thing for grouchy-looking dark-haired men who buy me pie and don’t run away when I spill my guts to them.”
“Ma!”
She looked over at Dash, who was staring at her. “Did you want some pie, baby?” She unlinked her fingers from Ben’s and he missed the sensation immediately.
She slipped one of the soft cherries out of her pie and fed it to her son, who shuddered and scrunched his little face with disgust. “I’m guessing he’s not a cherry pie fan.”
Ben smiled at him. “That’s okay. There will be more for us.” He dipped his spoon in his ice cream and fed it to Dash, whose reaction was muc
h less dramatic this time. “A vanilla ice cream man, I see. A man after my own heart.”
Dash smiled at him and lifted his arms. Without thinking Ben pulled the boy from his high chair and settled him in his lap. “Do you want more ice cream, son?”
He felt Dina’s gaze on him and he looked up to find her staring at him with a curious expression. “Is this okay? I should have asked you first.”
“You don’t have to ask.” She smiled softly at him. “Of course it’s okay.”
Chapter 8
It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas …
The only thing missing was a real-live tree, Dina thought as she stood back and admired her handiwork in the formal living room. It had taken three days, but the house finally felt like Christmas. She used every decoration from the boxes Ben took down for her. The small hand-carved nativity scene, the antique nutcracker, the ornament Ben made when he was just six years old. She had hung stockings on the fireplace and lit cinnamon-spiced candles and probably gone overboard with it all, but the house was beautiful. And even though just the four of them were staying there it didn’t feel so empty. It felt like a home should feel.
She wondered if Ben minded. She wondered how he really felt about her taking over his home, his space, and changing everything around. But she did it all for Dash, for his first Christmas. She might not be able to give him a hundred presents, but she could make his surroundings beautiful. She could make this year memorable.
She turned to face Ben, who was lying on the sofa with his hands folded over his chest. Just a little while ago Dash was with him, but Dovie had taken him off for a nap, leaving the two of them alone. He hadn’t said a word to her since he entered the room, just watched her as she zoomed from thing to thing tweaking and hanging and fixing. Normally the quiet would bother her. She was a busybody by nature. She always went from job to job, from man to man, from hobby to hobby. She thought she had needed noise, needed action. That’s why she was attracted to Virgil. He was like her: never stopping. But quiet Ben was the opposite. And for some reason she found his presence calming.
