Mistaken Hope
Page 11
He’s smart. He is. There’s no denying that. But, that girl? That girl had absolutely no idea when she walked inside the gun store for him that day that she would end up losing her life. Ironically, she was killed by one of the same .22 caliber bullets that she willingly supplied to him. She was killed in cold blood by the person who claimed to love her, with the same weapon she got a hold of … for him.
The detectives went on to tell me that the girl had died two days before Alexis had even made the call. Due to the cold temperatures outside and the fact that her body was found inside one of the derelict buildings, it meant that they weren’t one hundred percent sure of her actual time of death until they carried out the autopsy, which took place after I arrived back home from the morgue this morning. From their workings out, they believe that she was killed only a few short hours before he snatched Alexis away from us.
At this moment, they also believe that the blood they found here in the living room belonged to the girl. They won’t be able to confirm a match until they receive the results back from the samples they took during the autopsy earlier today, but they mentioned that because of the way it was splattered across the walls and over by the fireplace, it wasn’t likely that he left it there purely by accident. They believe that he may have planted some of her blood inside our home to make it look as though he had somebody else working alongside him, to distract the cops and make them believe that somebody else was involved in all of this; to make me believe that it was Alexis’ blood and that he’d hurt her.
She was the same build as Alexis, and practically the same height. Why did he get the girl to change her appearance? Well, he needed somebody who looked like Alexis, that’s why.
Why? Why did he go to such great lengths to do all of those things? Well, it’s pretty simple when you think about it. He wanted to fuck with me. He always has and he always will. That has always been his number one intention. He knew exactly what he was doing right from the very beginning; right from the very start of all of this. He wanted me to believe that it was Alexis’ body laid out on that silver tray. They were right. He had this planned all along.
“He’s a monster,” Rach says, and I bring my gaze over to rest on her when I hear the upset within her voice. She’s crying. Shit. “Holly never stood a chance against him, did she?” She hides her face inside her hands and I head right over to her.
“I’m so sorry, Rach,” I tell her, my own voice hoarse as I wrap my arms around her, pulling her into me. “I should’ve stayed the fuck away. I should’ve—I wish that I’d never asked Holly—”
“No,” she sobs, and I can feel her shaking her head against mine. “Don’t say it.”
“But, if I hadn’t gotten involved with her, then she and Alexis woul—”
“No! Stop it, you hear me?” Her voice is firmer this time. She leans away and grabs a hold of my face in her hands, making me look at her. “Don’t you dare ever have any regrets! You’re not the one to blame for this, Brandon. You’re not. He is!” Her tears are still brimming, threatening to fall at any given moment, giving me no other choice but to look away.
I need her to be the strong one here. I need her to be strong and the one to stop me from breaking down; to stop me from giving up on the tiny slither of hope I have left.
“Brandon,” I only just dare to look back up at her. “What are you going to do about Ryan?” Rye. Shit.
I accused one of my best friends of being involved. I accused Rye of working alongside Neil. I know. I know, alright? But, with everything that’s happened in the past, I dunno … I guess I just snapped. I put two and two together and I came up with five. I was sure. I was so fucking sure that he was doing all of this to us. But, as it turns out, he wasn’t lying. He wasn’t and isn’t involved in any of this.
Do you think that he’ll ever be able to forgive me for what I did and the things I said? Yeah, well, if I was him then I sure wouldn’t. If I were him then I wouldn’t give me the time of day ever again. I was being paranoid. He made me paranoid.
“I’ll call him,” I tell her, and I will. But, honestly? I don’t think that I’ll be able to handle it if he does forgive me over this. I should’ve realized. I should’ve known. I should’ve … I should’ve trusted him.
I move around to sit beside Rach, wrapping my right arm around her as she rests her head on my shoulder. We sit like this for a little while, neither of us speaking another word.
Rach talking about having regrets just then? Well, she’s right. I did have regrets, and then I didn’t, but now I’m starting to again. It’s like a viscous cycle; one that I don’t think I’m ever gonna be able to get away from or break out of.
“What did you get for her?” I lift my gaze and see Rach gesturing her right hand over toward the coffee table, toward Alexis’ birthday gifts. She lifts her head away from my shoulder and twists around to face me.
“You’ll find out when she comes home and opens it up.” I answer, trying my best to sound positive that she’s gonna be coming home real soon. The gift I bought for Alexis, along with all of the other ones sitting over there, they’re gonna remain untouched until she walks back through that goddamn door.
Ring! Ring! Ring!
Rach’s cell starts ringing out and she reaches inside her pocket, glancing to the screen before standing on her feet, “It’s Diane,” she tells me over her shoulder before placing it up by her right ear. “Hi … Of course … Sure … I will be there in fifteen minutes. Okay, bye.”
I stand up, brushing my hands over my shirt and pants, straightening them back out, “Is everything okay?” I ask when I see her placing her cell phone down on the coffee table. “Paul? Is he—?”
“He is being discharged,” she answers. “Diane called to ask me if I wouldn’t mind picking them up.” She adds as she grabs her jacket up from off of the arm of the couch. When she goes to walk by me as she heads over toward the living room door, I reach out to grab her by the arm, stopping her for a second. When she turns to face me, I see a quizzical look crossing into her eyes.
“Thank you,” I tell her. “You’re … I mean …”
Her shoulders relax and a warm smile starts to play over her lips. She knows more than most that I’m not really any good at this stuff, but she knows what I’m trying to say to her. She knows that I appreciate her and everything she does for me.
“I’ll be back soon,” she nods at the same time I hear light footsteps walking across the floorboards above us. “It sounds like somebody has just woken up in time to keep you company while I’m gone.” I loosen my grip on her arm until my hand falls away, and then follow her out into the hallway.
As Rach goes to make her way outside, I head upstairs to check on Holly.
It’s been a while since she’s had a nap during the day, but this afternoon, Rach told me that she’d fallen asleep on the couch just before I arrived back home from the morgue. She said that she decided to put Holly up into her bed so that she wouldn’t get disturbed. She’s been fast asleep ever since.
When I reach the top step, I see her coming out of her room, yawning wide while rubbing her eyes, “Hey, sleepyhead,” I say, crouching down in front of her just on the outside of her bedroom door. She always looks the same when she wakes up, it doesn’t matter whether she’s had a peaceful sleep or a restless night, her hair is always all over the place, sticking up in each and every direction possible. “I hear that you might’ve overdone it on the sugar while I was gone.”
“It was supposed to be mine and Auntie Rachael’s secret,” she grumbles. “Is mom—?” Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock! Saved by the knock, huh? Well, whoever it is, I’m thankful. Their timing really couldn’t have been any more perfect if they’d tried because you and I both know what Holly was just about to ask me.
“Come here,” I say, scooping her up in my arms as I go to carry her back downstairs. Once we make it to the bottom step, I place her back down on her feet. “Go on inside the kitchen and I’ll grab you something to dri
nk in a second, alright?” She doesn’t answer me, still rubbing her eyes as she nods her head, doing as I ask.
I glance over my shoulder, watching her as she walks through to the kitchen while I make my way over toward the front door. Because it’s already dark outside, I reach over and flip on the switch for the porch light before swinging the door open. I pause when I don’t see anybody standing on the other side of the threshold, and then look all around me. I don’t see anybody, and the only thing I can hear is the sound of a car being started on the other side of the street. But, other than that, there’s nobody out here but me. When I go to take a step outside, though, to look around some more, I pause when I hear a ringing sound. It’s not the landline, and it’s not my cell phone. Nope.
I glance down and instantly feel the dread as it starts working its way through my veins; throughout my entire body. I swallow, hard, staring at the flashing screen that’s right down beside my feet. I bring my gaze back over on the car opposite when the ringing stops, hearing the loud revs of the engine as the headlights are switched on to full beam, watching on as it speeds away into the black of the night.
When the cell flashes one more time, I hesitantly reach down, grasping a tight hold of it in my hands, fumbling to open up the one new message that’s displaying on the screen.
Thirteen words, that’s all they are.
Thirteen simple words that have my hopes raised high; my fear at its peak.
It’s time to finish this.
For good.
Me.
You.
Until the bitter end.
I’ve been sitting here for well over an hour now, just staring at the cell phone I found outside on the porch. I haven’t been able to move away from this seat once since I came back inside.
It was him out there, I know it was. He was the one sitting inside that car; watching me. He was sitting out there, making sure that I got his message. Well, I got it alright. Loud and fucking clear.
He’s running scared because he knows that we’re onto him. He knows that the cops are closing in on him and that it’s only gonna be a matter of time before they find him. He wouldn’t have come here tonight otherwise, I know he wouldn’t have. So, he’s running scared? Well, he should be because when I get my hands on him, I’m gonna make him regret the day he'd ever been born.
47.733253 -122.363811
10:05
That message? The one right up there? It was sent to me just five minutes after I’d received the first one.
Coordinates. He’s given me a time, and after a quick search on the internet, I have the location. All I’ve gotta do now is make sure that I show up. Like he said; it’s time to finish this. For good. Him. Me. Until the bitter end.
All of this is gonna be over soon.
It’s gonna end … tonight.
I immediately close the laptop screen and lean forward, reaching out for the cell phone when I see the living room door swinging wide open. As Diane and Rach make their way inside, Paul heads straight by the doorway and through toward the kitchen. I grab a hold of the cell, tucking it inside my pants pocket before either of them notice that it’s there.
“Hey,” I say, sitting up a little straighter on the couch. “How is he?” I ask, not being able to keep eye contact with either of them for longer than a couple of seconds. Why? Well, for one, it’s my fault that Paul ended up having to go to the hospital in the goddamn first place. And two? I don’t want either of them to know what’s going on. I can’t risk them getting the cops involved. Not this time.
If I let her hold her gaze on me for long enough, Rach will be able to see that there’s something wrong, and so I’m not gonna. I just need to try and relax, and pretend that nothing new happened while she was out picking the both of them up. I can’t let anybody know what’s really gonna be going down later tonight.
I guess that I’m gonna have to lie. Tell them that I’m heading out for a walk or something. I’ll tell them that I need to clear my mind and get some air. Yeah, I know. But, what the hell else am I supposed to do here? You and I both know what happened the last time they got involved in this. He said that it’s me and him. Just. Me. And. Him. It’s the only way.
My gaze darts between the two of them as Rach heads over to Holly, while Diane takes a seat over on the opposite couch, “He is …” Diane’s voice trails off, her lips forming in a tight line. “He is not doing so well, Brandon.” I nod. Sure he isn’t. None of us are.
“That one is called Maegan,” I bring my attention over to Holly when I see her holding up one of her favorite dolls. “She likes to surf and she likes to go to the beach and she likes to bake cookies.”
“Well, do you know something, Holly? So do I.” Rach’s smile is warm as she reaches out, brushing some of Holly’s hair away from her face. “I bet you like the beach, too.” When she says this, her eyes lock with mine and I instantly break the gaze she’s trying to hold on me. I can’t let her inside. I can’t afford for her to find out; for any of them to know what’s really going on here. I tell Rach everything, I always have. But, not this. Not. This.
I can feel her still watching me as I glance down to my watch.
It’s almost 8:15.
That’s not giving me a lot of time.
I push myself up from off of the couch, clearing my throat as I make my way outside the room, “Brandon?” I hear Rach call after me as I climb the stairs, taking two steps at a time. “Brandon!” When she calls out to me again, I pause, turning around when I reach the top step.
“What’s up?”
“Is everything okay?” she asks. “I mean besides the obvious.”
I nod, “Sure.”
She narrows her eyes on me and climbs another step, resting her hand on the rail as she inches closer to me. “Did something happen while I was gone?”
I shake my head and back away some more, “No. No, I um … I just need a few minutes on my own, that’s all.” I answer her as I turn around to make my way inside mine and Alexis’ bedroom, not giving her a chance to ask me anything else or say another word.
It’s 8:57.
I’ve been in here for almost forty-five minutes, which means that I only have another thirty more before I need to leave. It has to be this way, though, I know it does. I mean, what would you do if you were me? If you were sitting in this exact position as I am right now, what would you do? Alright, let me ask you something else.
What would you do if one of your only reasons left to breathe is taken away from you? When something you’ve worked so hard for is snatched away by the very person who’s capable of absolutely anything and everything? Well, let me tell you what you’d do. You’d fight, that’s what you’d do. You would never give up, and you’d always hope and pray that someday you’ll be with them again. You’d be willing to sacrifice yourself to make sure that they’re gonna be safe. You’d put your life on the line; yourself in harm’s way. You’d fight until the bitter end to make sure that the ones you care about and love the most will see another day.
Tonight, that’s what I’m gonna do. Tonight, I’m gonna fight for my forever, even if it means that this day will be my last.
In under thirty minutes time, I’m gonna be walking out of that door right over there, I’m gonna be heading down those stairs, and I’m gonna be making my way out of the front door, but I’m not under any illusion here. I’m not. I know that I’m at an extreme disadvantage. I know that the stakes are high. I know that I have less than a fifty percent chance of making it back home at the end of all of this.
He has a gun. We know this. He already has a bigger advantage over me. If there was any other way, then I’d use it. But, there isn’t. This is the only way.
I may never see another day. Another sunrise. Another sunset. After tonight, I may never get another chance to see my beautiful daughter, or see her growing up. I might never get the chance to be where I’m supposed to be; to be where I belong. But, I’ve gotta try.
I have to try.
When I first came up here, I decided to write her a note. It took me a little while to figure out how to write down everything that I wanna say to her, but I did the best that I could. I’m gonna leave it right here by her pillow for when she gets home. She’s gonna be coming home tonight, I know she is.
Beautiful,
If you’re reading this then it means that I’m no longer around. But, if it meant that you got to come home and be with our daughter, then it was all worth the fight.
I'm sorry that I can't be there with you, but know that for every day for the rest of your life, I’ll always be watching over you, protecting you and our beautiful daughter. I had a sacrifice to make, and losing my life was fully worth the fight if it meant that I got to save yours. The day I met you was the best day of my life, and I’ll cherish our memories forever. You meant everything to me, beautiful. You completed me. You and Holly were my whole world, and I’ll love you always, Alexis.
I’ll love you forever.
Brandon
When I finish reading the words I’ve written down for the final time, I squeeze my eyes closed in an attempt to clear away my blurred vision. Deep. Deep. Breaths. Folding the piece of paper, I bring it up to my mouth, brushing my lips over her name before tucking it underneath her red pillowcase, and when I lift my gaze, my eyes come to rest on the digital alarm clock that’s sitting right in front of me on the nightstand.
It’s now 9:05.
I stare at the glowing blue numbers for longer than I should, and when another minute passes by, I shuffle myself over to the side of the bed. I swing my legs around to stand, taking in my surroundings for what might be the very final time. I might never get the chance to be in here again. Our room. Mine and Alexis’. No. No, now’s not the time to get all sentimental. I need to be strong; stay focused. I need to win this.