It was hard to admit but when I met him for the first time on the yacht, I knew nothing about him except the public Kaz. I had no idea what kind of person he was, only that he was hot and the mere sight of him was enough to give women fainting spells.
However, now that I knew more about him, he was no longer merely just a rock star. He’d become a fully fleshed out human being who was amazing and a genius when it came to what he did professionally. I still found his body hot but what was between his ears also lit my flesh on fire as well and that was a very nice change for once.
Kaz finished drying his hair before he set the towel on the vanity table and began to comb it back away from his face.
“Hey, babe—how was your day?” he greeted in a sexy voice that came natural. There was nothing fake or pretend about Kasper Gillian.
“It was nice but I have to admit I have been looking forward to coming back to your place.” I allowed my feet to carry me until I was in his space and he smelled delicious. Love & Luck along with a citrus vanilla scent. My arms wrapped around his neck and I stared at his reflection in the mirror, into those intoxicating pools of blue-green that held my attention and expressed every emotion he felt.
He turned around to face me. “What are you trying to say, Syd?”
I sat on his lap and kissed his lips gently. “I want you to take me…tonight…right now and yes, I want to stay with you and be with you for the next six weeks. I have made commitments that meant less but I need to be with you. Don’t ask me to stop how I am feeling for you because I don’t think I can.”
Kaz pulled away only slightly before his lips set in a firm line. “I appreciate your honesty and believe me, I will happily do what ever you want me to do to you but don’t mistaken lust for love. The two are quite different.”
I sighed in an exasperated manner. “Fine, I am falling into lust with you, Kaz—hell, I am already there but that doesn’t mean I don’t respect any other part of you. I want you to be able to trust me and show me every side of you, even the parts that aren’t pretty or likeable. Understand you’re no longer Kaz, rock star…you’re Kasper Gillian, the man with the huge heart who loves his son and has an ex-wife I have yet to meet. I can and do accept all of this without complaint.”
We both stood up; he buried his face in my hair and took a deep breath. “You smell so good and I am so afraid of getting this wrong. Please understand I haven’t broken a woman’s virginity since my first and only high school girlfriend. I don’t want this to be an awful experience for you.”
I looked into his eyes and through the fog of too many glasses of Chardonnay and a wicked smile, I replied, “It won’t be so make love to me already.”
Kaz kissed me passionately on the lips and I melted into his embrace. His tongue caressed mine and felt like smooth velvet as I responded to his ministrations and before I knew it, he slipped down the straps of my floral, pale green lace dress courtesy of Valentino. They fell and landed on the side of my upper arms; my breasts had yet to be exposed but he caressed them through the material and I sighed out loud through our kiss.
He began to kiss my neck and collar bone before he bared my breasts and stared at them as if they were the most erotic part of my body before he leaned down kissed my breasts. The closer his lips got to my nipples, the deeper my breath came and I could hardly wait as his gentle hands caressed them softly.
The moment his lips circled around my right areola and suckled on the nipple, I grabbed him by his damp hair and held it in place. The feeling was so incredibly thrilling, I could feel every erogenous zone of my body respond. By the time he reached my left nipple, I was gasping out loud and eagerly pushed the dress down until it slid past my hips, the soft fabric teased my thighs before it settled around my feet. I stood in front of him in a pale green lace thong and nothing else.
I was unprepared as he lifted me up like I weighed nothing and laid me down on the bed. I couldn’t believe this was finally happening but as he pulled my thong from my body and spread my legs, I knew this time there would be no hallway measures. We were going to finally consummate our relationship and he was going to take my virginity.
Kaz kissed his way down my body before he explored the folds of my vagina and opened me up to him. His tongue insistently swirled around my clit before he suckled on the hard nub and I arched my back in a delicious insistence. I wanted him to do what ever he desired to my body as long as he promised me his cock would end up buried inside me before the end of the night.
I opened my eyes and glanced down to see him as he milked an orgasm from me like it was nothing. My heart thudded in my chest and as he shifted his weight on the bed, he reached over and opened up a drawer where he pulled out a spermicidal lubricant and applied it all over his cock before he pressed some on his forefinger and middle finger.
“I need you to completely relax. Spread your legs and take deep breaths, all right?”
“All right,” I whispered in a hoarse voice as he teased my clit again and that sent a shudder through my whole body.
His fingers worked their way lower until he was at the opening of my not-yet-pierced hymen and he slid his fingers in at a snail’s pace. The pain was magnificent and I continued to breathe deeply as he massaged his fingers in and out of me.
“Fuck, you’re so tight. Perhaps I should slip on a condom so this won’t last only two seconds for you.”
My right arm grabbed the hand with his two fingers buried inside me and I pleaded, “Don’t. Just go slow…all right? I don’t want any kind of barrier between us. I want to feel all of you. We’ve done all the tests and we both know we’re clean and in good shape. I want to be with you and don’t cheapen this moment with a latex barrier as if I’m some casual lay. I want you to make me feel…special.”
Kaz looked into my eyes and those aquamarine irises lit every part of me on fire. I wanted to see them as he hovered above me and was buried deep inside my depths but he knew better than me when it was the right time.
He withdrew his fingers and they were covered with a milky red substance. “Well, I officially broke your hymen. Are you sure this is what you want? It’s not too late to back out now.”
“Yes, I want this and I desperately want you.”
Kaz lifted my knees gently and fit himself between my thighs. He slipped his towel off and his cock, huge and scarlet with a purple tip was so hard, it had curved against his stomach. He grasped it in his right hand and slowly worked the tip into my opening.
My eyesight had become starry and blurred as tears leaked from my eyes due to the pain. He suddenly thrust himself inside my depths and I realized only too late he was buried to the hilt inside me because our pelvic bones touched. I wrapped my legs around his waist as his strong arms kept most his weight off my body. It was an invasion that felt so exquisite and excruciating at the same time, I continued to breathe in through my mouth and out of my nose.
Kaz began to move inside me and I kept waiting for the pain to turn into pleasure but for now, there was just a burning sensation between us and although I knew it was deliciously tantalizing for him, I wondered to myself if this is what I had waited twenty-three years for? Why would any woman want a man to make love to her if this is all we were going to get out of it?
His thrusts were slow and steady and the pain began to dissipate and something magical happened. My hips were meeting his thrusts and although I must have still been bleeding from my hymen, the sensation was one of pleasure and of me wanting him to know every part of my body.
I slid my arms around his neck and pulled him to me. We were so close I could observe the different color striations in his irises and I tickled his nose with my tongue before he jerked my head back and kissed my neck with such passion, I moaned out loud.
The room soon smelled of our sex and our mutual desire to satisfy one another. There was a feeling growing inside my body that felt very familiar and close to an orgasm when he withdrew and flipped me onto my stomach.
He kissed
my shoulder blades and his fingers explored the cleft of my buttocks. “Get on your knees, baby.”
“What are you doing?” I wondered out loud before I laughed.
“You’ll see. All this…beautiful and untouched flesh…you need some tats and that is when I will have truly marked you.”
“No, that’s just ink…you’re marking me now, Kaz. You’re the first person to have all of my body in a sexual manner and whether I am inked or not, I will always be yours now and forever.”
Kaz kissed my neck as I got on all fours and he plunged his cock inside of me again and instead of pain, it was a beautiful feeling of being full again with him and his manhood that was giving me so much pleasure.
He had more control over our sex this way and his thrusts were sometimes gentle and slow while other times quicker and harsher. The fingers of his right hand began to caress my clit and the nub swelled under his precision yet again. The pleasure began again and this time it was even more overwhelming than before.
He was claiming me in every way and somehow I was losing myself inside his lovemaking. Why did I get the feeling he was actually carving me into his own creation and I allowed him to with relish? The only thought in my empty mind was he had to make me orgasm and I would do anything he wanted me to do for him when ever he demanded it of me.
Kaz continued to thrust inside me, quicker, longer strokes and between his cock and his fingers, my hips bucked to meet his rhythm like a bitch in heat. Then it began, an orgasm so intense, it began at my toes and crawled its way through the muscles in my calves and thighs before it hit the epicenter and I moaned out loud and felt my kegel muscles clench around his thick cock.
He murmured, “Fuck, Sydney.”
Kaz began to come as he pounded against me harshly and the pain was exquisite because it was matched by the absolute ecstatic feeling of coming together. He continued to fuck me until there was nothing left and withdrew from my aching sex before he finally collapsed on the bed on his back.
I allowed my wobbly knees to collapse from underneath me and lay down on my stomach, my heart thudded with intensity in my chest as I tried to steady my breathing.
Several moments later, he rolled toward me and pulled me into his arms. I turned toward him and buried my head on his chest as I began to sob out loud. I had no idea why I was crying but it just felt like something I had to get out. He was my first and I could never go back to the woman I’d been before I entered his bedroom suite.
The young woman who’d worn that pale green dress was gone forever and she would never return. I had been transformed into someone I didn’t recognize because I truly needed him to care about me. I wasn’t simply satisfied with being a fuck buddy or just some groupie. I had to know he felt something for me.
“What’s with the tears, huh? We just had sex…I didn’t take something from you, did I?” Kaz wondered as he tilted my head up to his.
“No, you didn’t. I wanted you to do it but I need to know you weren’t just using me this whole time. You do…feel some emotions for me, don’t you? I mean other than disgust and apathy?”
“Of course I care about you. I told you what I wanted when we were in Nassau and you were the one who said you weren’t ready. I didn’t want to force the issue so I left it alone.” He lay on his back and pulled me top of him. “You should know that you could be someone very special to me but first you have to prove to me you’re worth it and that is what this six week experiment is all about.
“I’ve had my heart stepped on and it hurt like hell. I know it wasn’t you who did it but my ex-wife’s imprint is still there. I was in love with her…I suppose I still am because she is the only person I would drop everything for and take her back in a heartbeat if she wanted me. Unfortunately, she doesn’t feel the same so it’s a moot point.”
I looked into his eyes and shook my head sadly. “You’re expecting me to fight for you with a woman who has a home team advantage? How can I possibly win this battle? You tell me, Kasper.”
“Promise you’ll just be here for me and you’ve won half the battle. I am under a lot of pressure from my management company and the record company to finish this album on time. The last thing I need is to come home to you bitchin’ and moanin’ about how we don’t spend enough time together.”
I laughed out loud. “That’s not the kind of person I am because I don’t wrap myself around anyone that closely. I have friends and a life. I can’t be at your beck and call.”
He folded his arms behind his head. “Good….also, if everything works out after the six weeks then I need you to get inked. It’s as close as I am ever gonna get to marriage because I won’t marry anyone ever again. You’ll have the Scarlet Fever symbol on your lower back and my name underneath. That way, everyone will know you belong to me, is that clear?”
I knew what the mark looked like. It was an old school, Victorian-style “S” and “F” with his name in cursive. I wasn’t the only one who would have the tattoo. His ex-wife had the same tramp stamp except she had his name inked over and turned into a rose.
My lips pursed before I kissed him fully mouth. “Done.”
I began to get up but he moved faster than I thought possible and he grabbed me. “Hey, where do you think you’re going?”
“To take a shower,” I replied in a calm voice.
“I don’t think so. I am not done with you yet by any stretch of the imagination. I suppose I forgot to tell you it’s been a while and that was just a quickie. The next time, I really want to make love to you.”
My instinct was to fight him and demand I be allowed to take a shower but for the first time in ages, I relaxed in his comforting embrace. “Just be careful with me because I’m pretty sore, babe.”
Kaz smiled before his lips met mine and his tongue met mine in a gorgeous symphony of intimacy and synchronism. “I promise to treat you like fine china.”
I laughed out loud as he laid me down on the bed and knew instinctively it would be a very long evening and night. For once, I didn’t give a damn and wanted him to do what ever he wanted to do to me; he’d branded me and I now belonged to him whether he wanted to admit it yet or not.
I didn’t mind because I was very good at waiting out any situation…I always got what I wanted and now what I wanted was to take our relationship to the next level and well past the one night.
Chapter Twelve
Change
The next few weeks flew by and it was pure bliss. My mother and grandfather called me to make sure I was okay and wondered when I would be back home but I was honest with them and explained my new lifestyle. I was safe and well taken care.
My grandfather was slightly worried because he knew Kasper’s family and didn’t know how well they would take their estranged son dating me while my mother’s only desire was for me to demand to see the divorce paperwork. She feared me making the same mistakes she did and in hindsight, I could understand why she would feel that way.
Kasper had no problem showing me his divorce decree and I was able to call up my mother that very same night and tell her he was divorced from his wife.
If there was one aspect about his personality I loved other than our sex life then it was his brutal honesty. He’d told me he would be working long hours and he’d meant it. There were many nights we didn’t see one another and some days passed where we only slept in the same bed but I was asleep when he came home and when he left the following morning.
I only knew he’d been home because the suite would smell heavily of Love & Luck and the hairs he shed on his pale linen that was changed three times each week since we were sexually active.
During the fourth week of our arrangement, he knew I could handle the lifestyle and insisted I get my ink in preparation for the tour. Faith accompanied me to the tattoo parlor, The Black Rose, where all the band members had gotten their tats from and since I had an appointment, I wasn’t the least bit nervous.
We walked in and where I was expecting a hole in the wall,
the place was set up like a spa clinic, except one with blacked out windows from the outside and inside, everything was black and chrome. The place had comfortable leather chairs, an assortment of both alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages and a friendly receptionist staff.
I ordered a glass of wine before Faith interrupted the receptionist. “Two shots of JD.”
I looked at her with a bit of annoyance. “What’s wrong with a glass of Pinot Grigio?”
“That isn’t going to get you through this tattoo,” she responded as she flipped through the latest issue of Society Magazine.
“Don’t you think what I decide to drink should be my choice?” I wondered out loud as the receptionist brought us two frosted shot glasses full of Jack Daniels.
Faith turned toward me but only after I grabbed my shot glass and downed the awful whiskey before I set the shot glass back on the tray. She dumped hers down her throat without even wincing and returned the shot glass.
“Listen, I know what I am talking about, babe. I have had the tat done. Why do you think I am always in dresses or my back is always covered if I decide to wear jeans and a tank top? I have the same ‘tramp stamp’ you’re about to get and it hurts like hell.”
I glared at her with cold eyes. “Fine, show me.”
She stood, undid her designer white jeans and pulled them down to her hips before she lifted her violet, short-sleeved peasant blouse. There it was and it wasn’t the tiny little tattoo I was expecting. The “S” and “F” covered her whole mid-lower back and underneath right above the cleft of her buttocks was the name “Jaden” in Gothic-style letters.
Faith turned around as she pulled up her jeans and buttoned them back up. “I refused to have ‘Cocky’ written on my back. Sorry but I don’t roll that way and I may have a tattoo but I am not white trash and I refuse to be mistaken as that type of person.”
One aspect of my best friend’s personality was her abrasiveness and her absolute abhorrence for anyone who wasn’t fortunate enough to be born with money. It didn’t bother me as much as it did Laurel but I understood where her attitude came from because her birth father was the epitome of poor white trash and he’d abandoned her mother and her. As far as she was concerned, all poor white trash was the same.
Falling Into Lust Page 7
