Logical. That didn’t seem to exist for Tai anymore.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Darien,
That is the name I have decided on for you. I haven’t written in here for a long time. A lot has happened, and I’ve had to think about a lot of things very carefully. I’ve decided this is yours. I have kept fourteen journals through all of the time I’ve known your father, and none of them have belonged to anyone but myself. This is yours, they’re all yours, but I want you to have this one first.
I got some bad news today. The doctor told me why I’ve been sick all of the time, why I’ve been so tired and achy, and why I can barely get out of bed. My energy is being taken from me because of this pregnancy. Your magic is strong, and it grows stronger every day you sit inside of me. I can feel you moving; hear some of your thoughts even. Thoughts that are thoughts in the strange way infants think. I know you can hear me because your thoughts are composed of things you’ve heard me say and anyone else in the room at the time. I know you won’t remember this, but we talk, a lot even. You’re really content. You understand so much. I believe his is your true spirit bonding with me right now.
The doctor told me the longer you are inside of me, the worse I will feel over time. He’s concerned I won’t have enough strength to deliver when the time comes, or enough strength to make it to delivery. In fact, he said that I should consider terminating. That was three weeks ago. Obviously I haven’t. I am very firm in keeping you inside of me for as long as it takes. You are my priority. I’m not going to lose you. You are a beautiful soul that everyone should get to enjoy, not just myself. That was when I decided on your name. Darien means ‘precious gift’ where I’m from, and that is what you are.
I’m getting tired writing all of this, but just know that I know everything will be okay. That means you should believe it to!
Darien,
Your father is the silliest man I have ever met, but I love that about him.
Darien,
I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to hang in here. I was told if we extracted you now there’d be a 50% chance of survival. I don’t like those odds. I think I can go another week. Weeks are like leaps and bounds when it comes to pregnancy. We’ll see what he says next first day.
Darien,
I know you don’t want me to speak like this, but there is a possibility I won’t be able to tell you myself once you hatch. I’m trying to remain optimistic for you, but I’m so tired. I’m going to leave this with some things I want to make sure you get.
My journals, for one, and a few things that are important to me. My rag-doll, which was the only thing I was allowed to bring with me from home. My mother made it for me, and I want it to be yours. It always comforted me in my time of need and it kept me from feeling lonely. I hope it does the same for you as well.
I also have some jewelry that is important to me. They were gifts from your father, but the meaning behind them is so much more than that. I want you to see them and remember that you are more precious, more important, and far more valuable, than they are. You’ll know what to do with them when the time comes.
Maybe I am preparing myself for the worst for no reason. Today I hurt a lot less and am simply tired. I have little desire to eat though. It’s a toss up, really. Tomorrow I meet with the doctor.
The pages were still many in the journal, but Darien knew for a fact this particular book was barely half full. It was close to the halfway point, and he was getting scared. Day five and Tai was still gone. He’d heard a few more random thoughts from her, and he spied on her credit card account. She was still in town. Why was she still there? Why hadn’t she gone home yet? Maybe she was considering staying with him?
No, he didn’t want to get his hopes up. He needed her though. For so long she had been a staple of his life. He could always count on her being around. When he was younger and needed to see her, he flew out to her island and watched her. Now he felt even more separated from her than before the two had met. It was like part of his body had been cut off. He couldn’t see her. He couldn’t talk to her. He couldn’t be anything for her, and this rattled his sense of purpose. If he couldn’t be her husband, then what could he be? If he couldn’t love her, what could he do?
She was always his source of comfort, and now she was gone when he needed it most. Even having her there to fight with would have made his life that much better. If anything, it would have provided him with a great distraction.
He looked over at the box of things his father had given him on his birthday and slowly opened it. He pulled out the jewelry inside and looked at it sparkle in his hands. It would look great on Tai. I am more precious, more important, and more valuable than these? He wasn’t sure if he was buying it, but it was a small solace.
He pulled the doll out of the box next and snuggled in with it on his bed. “Well, here we go,” he whispered. The text in this entry was barely on the lines, the ink pressed faintly. It was a huge contrast to every other page, which was neat, clear, and dark.
Darien,
It’s time to finally meet you. I told the doctor to not give me any drugs that would make me sleep through the extraction because I wanted to make sure I got to see you and hold you. I have some medicine for the pain, but I only feel numb anyway. Numb and cold, but I wanted to make sure I could document this moment. Your father is here, and he is watching. He looks more scared than I feel. He worries too much.
I want you to know I waited as long as they would let me, but they insisted that if something wasn’t done today, then both of us would go. I couldn’t have that obviously. They said they couldn’t risk me passing in the middle of the night, and not retrieving you, or who knows what else could happen. I’m worried. Your hatch day is still not for another month, but the doctor seems confident you will be okay if we put you in the incubation room earlier than normal. He’s done this sort of thing before apparently.
Don’t be scared.
I love you.
I see you now, and you are beautiful....
He slowly closed the book before he wet the pages with any tears. Moments later his mother had died, and it was his fault. There was something wrong with him. It was good to know she didn’t hate him in her final moments, but the fact still remained that he was a monster. They wanted to kill him, and she wanted to keep him alive. At the time, he couldn’t comprehend such a gesture. It was all mind-blowing.
He lay back on the bed, hugging the journal and the doll close to him as he curled himself up on his pillow and cried. When he breathed in the doll, he noticed it had a unique scent and he couldn’t help but wonder if it was her still lingering there. He’d never know for certain because he’d never gotten to experience it first hand, but he pretended it was her. Whatever the scent was on it, it smelled nice - a bit of musk, mixed with old dirt, and lilies of the valley. There may have been a little sweat added in there as well. The thing was ancient; he was afraid he was going to break it.
“What’s wrong with me?” he whispered.
“Nothing,” Tai whispered back as she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. He jumped slightly, looking completely mortified she was witnessing him like this.
“Tai!” He quickly pushed everything away. He wiped at his eyes briefly and then offered her a forced smile. “What are you doing here? I thought you wanted to go home?”
“I do,” she said quietly and she sat down next to him. She didn’t look at him, which was fine because he didn’t want her to see him. “But I also know I can’t leave. I wouldn’t be welcome back home for one. Who am I kidding? I’m supposed to be dead. The priests would take one look at me, and I’d be outcast from society. I’d be branded a traitor for displeasing the dragon lord, displeasing you.”
“You don’t displease me,” Darien pointed out and his smile changed to a more playful one. “Just frustrate me to no end.”
“Two,” Tai continued, ”I’m also needed here. It was something I heard, how we’re chosen for a
purpose, that this is, I don’t know, some strange form of destiny.”
He looked at her with wide eyes. Tears still lingered in them from earlier. “You think so?”
Tai nodded, “Because whether I chose this or not, we’re going to always be a part of each others lives now. I don’t think pretending it didn’t happen is the solution. I can still hear everything inside of you, and I can’t tune it out.” She moved closer to him nervously. “I’m willing to at least see what we are by the end of the summer. I can’t promise anything, but at the most I can say I’ve gotten to know you.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
“So why is it that you do what you do?” Tai asked as they walked through the park. “You know, take people away from home.”
Darien nodded, and quickly cut her off with a wave of his hand. The park in Oceina City wasn’t busy necessarily, but he still had to be careful. There was always the possibility someone could over hear bits and pieces of their conversation and the last thing he wanted was for his secret to get out. She kept forgetting. He liked being out of the house with her.
The change of scenery was good for them both, and it helped with Tai’s desire to feel less like a prisoner and more normal. He liked the fresh air and sunshine, and watching her hair blow in the wind. He especially liked her eagerness to talk with him more. Something about being away from home allowed her to open up to him better.
The park was a calming atmosphere as well. There was a long path around a lake, and lots of trees for shade. Every so often there were terraced gardens filled with the same blue flowers he had requested for their wedding night. It was romantic, and he figured she could use a little bit of that. Romance would hopefully reassure her of his love for her.
He took a moment to take a bite from his ice cream cone before speaking. “It’s how things are done here and have been done since the first of my ancestors,” he explained. “You see Percy and his would-be future bride Andromeda, were madly in love with one another. There was no way to live with her family when he never aged, or so it seemed. So they created the rouse of the sacrifice. We can’t have people know the truth.”
“So you’ve told me before,” Tai said. “I just don’t see why you couldn’t do something, I don’t know, different.”
He took her hand affectionately and was glad when she didn’t pull away from him. She was trying. He gave it a reassuring squeeze.
“It’s not how we want to do things necessarily, but it’s hard to do anything different. Some have tried and it doesn’t go well. I mean, how would you have taken it if we courted, and then I randomly told you the truth? Would you believe me? Would you freak out? Would you be mad? I’ve heard stories from my kin about some who’ve tried to do just that, and the women fled ranting and raving about how the dragons are horrible monsters from the devil. This is why there are slayers out there. Thank God they’re few and far apart. Our secret is important because we need the hu-.” He stopped then changed his direction. “We need people to understand us and respect us as an authority. We were created to protect this world, and we need to maintain this order and hierarchy.”
“You talk like you’re better than everyone else. You’re not.”
“I don’t think I’m better than anyone else,” Darien said. “Or that my kind, or rather our kind, is better than anyone else. I just know this is what we’re supposed to do. This is what we’re made to do.”
“So you have to keep it all a secret?”
“Yes.”
“So why did you risk letting me go?”
“I trust you,” he said and then finished his cone. He swallowed, licked his fingers clean, and then continued. “You understand all of this, you just act like you don’t because you want to know everything. All you have to do is ask, and it’s yours.”
She let out a heavy sigh. “You make it difficult to stay mad at you, did you know that?”
“I’m not trying to.” He said coyly. “I can stop if you want.”
“It’s not a bad thing. I didn’t think you wanted me to be mad at you.”
“Obviously not. You know how I feel about you.”
“Right, you love me.” She rolled her eyes, but smiled. She made sure to remind him of the fact that she wasn’t in the same spot he was, but she stopped calling him a lunatic. Little steps which made him feel stronger. “So tell me about your family specifically. Are all of your kind like this, or is your family more special than the others?”
Darien shrugged, and swung her hand idly. “We’re all similar in ways. This ritual is practiced all through out our nation. There are about twenty different main family lines. These family lines have their own spot. Each has several members in the family. In fact, my immediate family is small compared to the others. This has a lot to do with my father never remarrying.”
“So your mom…”
“Died, yes. In childbirth.” He let out a deep sigh. “So I’ve never known much about her. We don’t talk about her often. It’s kind of a taboo topic in the house because everyone is at different stages with their grief. Tony and Lance barely knew her, so they’re sad but they accept she’s not around for example. Asher will talk about her like she never existed, and Brian is stuck in the anger part. Everyone not in my immediate family tends to side with him in a way. They don’t like me because I have more magic in my pinkies than they’ll ever have in their lifetime.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” Tai said quietly. “You had no control over your magic. It just happened.”
He shrugged. “I guess. I was just an egg, but the fact I existed was what killed her. The doctor said it himself. She’d be alive if I wasn’t here.”
“Then that should say how important you are to your parents,” she said. “She doesn’t regret a moment of it, and her opinion is the one that matters more than anyone else’s. Anyone who says otherwise is selfish or jealous.”
“I’d never thought of it like that,” he said. “It’s hard. When I was old enough to know something wasn’t right, you know, to notice my family was the only one out of my kin to not have a mother, my older brother’s told me they hated me and they’d never forgive me. I was five!”
“But did they really mean it? How old were they?”
“Teenagers.”
“Well, there you go,” she smiled. Tai grabbed him by the shoulders, forcing him to look at her and into her blue eyes. Those soft, soulful, blue eyes turned him into putty. “It’s not your fault. They were just saying it because they were angry and insecure, probably, I mean, most teenagers are. Stop hating yourself. Even if it was your fault, your self loathing isn’t going to bring her back, and you are making her sacrifice worth nothing if you don’t value the gift she gave you.”
He stared at Tai, processing every word she said, and nodded slowly. “I’ll try.”
“I guess that’s good enough. Tell me more? I mean, just about everything. What do you do all day? Do you go to school?”
“Yeah, I go to a regular school,” he said and looked over at her with a small smile. “The past year, or rather four of your years, I’ve been attending. It’s part of my becoming an adult.”
“You said the past four of my years. What does that mean? Don’t we have the same amount of years?”
“I guess if you want to be technical, yes, we do have the same amount of years based on the rotations of the Earth. However, we age differently. I guess you could say every four years, we physically age one year. So we divide our time up differently. A year is a quarter, and four quarters is a year. The only time this doesn’t apply is the first two years of life, or rather eight quarters.”
“I’m lost,” Tai said. “I’ll have to catch on as time goes by.”
“Probably a good idea,” He laughed a little and gave her a small, playful, nudge. “So what about you?”
“What about me?” she asked curiously.
Darien shrugged, “I’m just doing a lot of talking. I wanted to know something about you too.”
“I�
��m not anywhere near as interesting.”
“I think you are,” he said. “Like, I think it’s very interesting that you prefer vanilla over all of the other flavors.” He gestured at her half eaten ice cream cone. “And I also think it’s interesting that you’ve danced in every storm that’s rolled through your island since you were thirteen.”
“Sounds like you know more about me than you let on,” Tai teased.
He shrugged innocently. “A few things here and there, but I only know what I see. I want to know what’s in here.” He tapped the center of her chest gently. “I want to know why you danced in the storm.”
She laughed, blushing a little, but shook her head. “I’ll save that mystery for another date.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
He smiled at her. “Tell me about your family, your mom and dad. Do you have siblings?”
“So you go to school,” Tai said quickly and avoided his questions. “Are you going to go to college, too? What do you want to do with yourself?”
“No clue,” he admitted. It was something he kept procrastinating on. He had dreams, goals, just like any other young man his age, but none of them were anything he felt passionate about. His brother’s all had a job, or a hobby they enjoyed. Lance owned the clothing line with his wife. Tony made toys. Asher was studying to be a doctor. Brian was into cars. Christian did landscaping. Noah taught all of the children back home. They always knew what they wanted to do.
After a long awkward pause, Darien finally added, “I’ve got lots of time to figure it out though. What about you?”
Tai chewed on her lower lip, and a small blush spread across her face. “I haven’t thought about it either.” He was pretty sure she was lying, but he didn’t want to pry and make her feel uncomfortable. He’d rather she tell him on her own. “I figured you’d know if you’ve had all this time to think about it!”
Legend of the Oceina Dragon (The Dragons Saga) Page 10
