Tangled Vows

by Yvonne Lindsay

  Ilya was the kind of man who, once he committed to something or someone, did it totally and utterly. And he’d committed himself to her. Discovering her web of lies had been shattering—not only to his heart but to his very belief system. His trust in himself, his ability to judge others, had been damaged, and in every relationship since, he’d held a part of himself back—unwilling or unable to go that extra distance to commit to another person.

  He knew all about heartbreak. The loss of his father and then his mom in his teens had almost brought him to his knees. Nagy had been his foundation through those years. His rock. His stability. And when she’d seen him off to college, she’d encouraged him to find himself and to test his place in the world. When he met Jennifer at a rival college game, he’d honestly thought she was the woman he would grow old with, and discovering her true nature had been as wrenching as a bereavement. It had made him hard—he knew that, accepted it—because being hard meant being invincible. The only trouble was that he could already feel the cracks forming in his carefully constructed walls. And opening yourself to another person meant opening yourself to hurt.

  He’d thought full emotional engagement wouldn’t be necessary in his unconventional marriage. That loyalty, kindness and devotion would be enough. But the way his feelings were developing for Yasmin was taking him on a roller-coaster ride he wasn’t sure he was ready for.

  “Shall we go and sit over there, out of the wind?” Yasmin asked, interrupting his thoughts and gesturing to a hollow between a couple of low sand hills.

  “Sure.” He tucked her hand into the crook of his arm as they ploughed through the loose sand and settled in the spot she’d indicated.

  “It’s so gorgeous here, so different from the valley. But it looks better from the air,” she commented.

  “Are you missing flying? We can go to the airfield if you’re suffering withdrawal.”

  “I could take you up in the Ryan if you like,” she offered after a short silence.

  He felt his pulse kick up a beat. Her Ryan was her pride and joy from what he knew. He admired the amount of time she had to have spent with her grandfather on its restoration. A project like that was a true labor of love. He also knew that she would be in command of the controls and that was something he struggled with. Not because she was a woman, but because ever since his father’s death Ilya had rarely relinquished being the pilot in command. Even on commercial airliners he struggled with the concept of someone else being in charge. These days, in most cases, he flew one of the company jets when traveling long haul, even when he went to Europe or to any of the Pacific Islands for a break. He wasn’t rated to fly anything like the Ryan, though, so Yasmin would be at the controls, meaning a complete surrender of his instinct to remain in charge.

  “You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she said hastily when he didn’t reply. “It’s not everyone’s cup of tea.”

  “It’s not that.”

  “You’re a control freak, I know. I get it.”

  Did she? Did she really understand? How could anyone know what it was like to know you faced certain death if you didn’t get everything one hundred percent right and that the only person you could trust or rely on was yourself?

  “A control freak?” he asked. “Do I come across that way to you?”

  “It’s possible you’re hiding your true nature,” she surmised, looking up at him and smiling.

  “Humph,” he grunted.

  “Are you? Hiding your true nature, that is? I know we’ve been on best behavior with each other since the wedding. It’s like we’re living in an artificial bubble, really. Don’t you think so?”

  “That’s one way of looking at it, I guess. But, in answer to your question, I’m not hiding my true nature from you. I am what I am. The man you see right here, right now.”

  She reached up to kiss him. “I’m finding you surprisingly okay for a Horvath. Who knew?”

  He laughed. “Yeah, that old family feud thing.”

  She started to say something but stopped when his cell phone began to chime. He pulled it from his pocket and checked the caller ID.

  “It’s Danni,” he said and thumbed the screen to accept the call.

  Yasmin squirmed beside him as he listened to his cousin, keeping his responses to a minimum. When he ended the call he looked at his wife.

  “Well?” she demanded.

  “We can pick him up later today. If you still want him, that is.”

  She punched him on his upper arm. “Want him? He’s ours. Of course I want him. What are you waiting for?”

  She stood up abruptly, leaving him in a shower of sand falling from her jeans. He swiftly followed suit and they laughingly raced each other back along the beach to where they’d parked. As they reached the car, he caught Yasmin’s eye across the roof and sent her a smile, realizing, with a small measure of shock, just how much it made him happy to make her happy, as well. Which brought him back to his original turmoil.

  No, this connection, this sense of belonging with another person—it wasn’t what he’d expected at all.

  * * *

  They were curled up on the large L-shaped couch in the family room, watching the puppy sleep in his crate. The floor was strewn with his toys and puppy pee pads, although Ilya suspected they wouldn’t need those as the dog already appeared to have been toilet trained somewhere along the line. Danni suspected he was between three and four months old and a mix of border collie and who knew what else. They had yet to name him.

  “He’s so cute when he’s sleeping, isn’t he?” Yasmin commented.

  “You said the same when he was awake.”

  “Well, he’s cute. Don’t you think so?”

  Ilya studied the little guy. They’d been surprised to discover that, once cleaned up, he had quite a bit of white hair interspersed with the patches of brown and black. “Sure, he is.”

  “I think we should call him Blaze, for the white blaze down his face.”

  “Yeah, that fits.”

  “Good. He has a home and a name.”

  “What are we going to do with him when we go back to work?” Ilya asked.

  “I can take him with me.”

  “And when you’re flying?”

  “My office manager will look after him...or you could.”

  “Ah, yes, take-your-dog-to-work day. It has a certain ring to it.” He shuddered visibly.

  “You’re teasing me,” she said, struggling to disentangle herself from where she was nestled comfortably against his side.

  “Of course I’m teasing you. We’ll work something out. Besides, there’s always Hannah or doggy day care. Danni mentioned one not too far from here.”

  “Well, I guess if she recommended it...” Yasmin’s voice trailed off.

  It occurred to Ilya that his wife had trust issues similar to his own, especially when it came to what was important to her. He wondered what was behind it, although being dumped by your parents on a cantankerous grandparent probably had something to do with it.

  The house phone began to ring and Ilya reluctantly rose from the couch to answer it. His grandmother was the only person who called his landline anymore, and he had no doubt she was calling to check on the state of his marriage.

  “I expected you to have rung me by now,” she said imperiously the moment he answered the phone. “Why aren’t you still up in Port Ludlow?”

  “I’ve been busy getting to know my wife. You know, the one you paired me with? And besides, we wanted to come home. When did you find out?”

  Of all the cousins, he was always the one who got away with the most with Nagy. None of the others would dare be as cheeky.

  “When and how I found out is neither here nor there. Is all going well?” she asked, blithely ignoring his dig.

  He looked over at Yasmin, who was flicking through a sports avi
ation magazine she’d picked up off the coffee table.

  “As well as can be expected.”

  “Oh, for goodness sake, Ilya! Stop beating around the bush.”

  “I don’t know what you mean,” he teased.

  “Would you like me to visit, then?”

  There was a steeliness to his grandmother’s voice that left him in no doubt that she would breach the family’s agreement to leave the newlyweds to themselves during the honeymoon period.

  “You know you’re always welcome, but in this case, I think we should leave it a while. You can be assured that my wife and I—” he paused to smile at Yasmin who’d looked up at that point “—are getting on very well and enjoying learning more about each other. Oh, and we have a puppy.”

  “A dog? Already?” His grandmother sounded flabbergasted. “Well, that’s quick.”

  “We found him when we were out on a walk in the hills. Danni brought him back to health for us. You’ll love him.”

  “That remains to be seen. You know how I feel about animals.”

  “Was there anything else, Nagy?”

  “No, you go back to your wife. And Ilya?” She paused.

  “Yes.”

  “I know you two can make this work.”

  She hung up without saying goodbye, but he was used to that. She never wasted time on small talk. It was one of the many things he respected about her.

  He settled on the couch again and pulled Yasmin back under his arm. He liked the way she fit there. In fact, he liked the way she fit in his life, period. And despite its being what he should have wanted in a relationship, it still made him uneasy because he wasn’t ready to fully let her in—to his mind or his heart.

  * * *

  Alice hung up the phone and allowed a small smile to play across her face. It was working—better than she’d hoped, in fact. She hadn’t been wrong yet with her pairings, but it was always reassuring to know she hadn’t lost her touch.

  A puppy? She smiled again, a small chuckle bubbling up from deep inside. Her first-born grandson was actually settling down. She’d begun to fear it would never happen. He’d been so shy of commitment since that awful eye-opening time back in college. Oh, sure. He had a beautiful home in the hills fit for a family. He had money socked away for a rainy day. He had a satisfying career and more family support than a man could ever need. But she knew he’d only been going through the motions these past ten or more years.

  When her Ilya gave, he gave everything. Having that love, that trust, abused by a gold-digging, lying piece of... She shut down her thoughts before rage could take over and trigger another of those blasted angina attacks that only she and her doctor knew about. Alice calmed her breathing, cleared her mind and allowed herself to only think about what made her happiest. Family.

  Her earnest boy, her knight crusader, was finally learning to give of that most precious part of himself, his heart. She only hoped she’d done the right thing because she knew, without doubt, that if his heart was given and, perish the thought, broken again, nothing would repair it.

  Ten

  Yasmin walked around the Ryan doing her preflight checks. It felt a bit strange to be at the airport and not go into the office. Her plane was hangared separately from the Carter Air charter planes, but Riya had threatened her with all kinds of harm if she so much as set foot in the office before her official honeymoon period came to an end.

  Riya might be small, but she was a force to be reckoned with, and while Yasmin’s instinct was just to pop in and check on things, she didn’t want to incur her friend’s wrath. If there was a serious problem, Riya would let her know. Besides, if Ilya could stay away from his work for two weeks, then she could most definitely do the same.

  Excitement bubbled in her veins. She hadn’t flown since before the wedding and she was itching to get behind the controls and dance across the sky. And Ilya was coming up with her. He’d surprised her this morning, on their last Friday before they went back to work, saying he’d decided to take her up on her offer of the flight in the old trainer. Hannah was minding Blaze for them and Yasmin was thrilled at the idea of taking her husband up and showing off a little. But even more important, he was showing her he trusted her, which was pretty incredible, given his own admitted preference to be the pilot in command.

  The only shadow on her day was the latest email on her phone. The words had burned themselves into her memory, leaving her wondering who on earth from her past hisgirl could be. It obviously had to be someone from her time in college—the photo suggested as much—but she’d ceased to have contact with any of them after that humiliating night.

  If you know what’s good for you, you’ll walk out of his life and never go back.

  The inherent threat had made her blood run cold, especially on the heels of the photo hisgirl had sent earlier in the week. Was the sender specifically warning her that if she didn’t leave Ilya the photo would be used against her somehow?

  Perhaps it was someone Ilya had gone out with, but then, how would that person have access to photos taken at the hazing? And what on earth did they hope to gain by threatening Yasmin? If Ilya had been invested in a relationship with anyone else, he wouldn’t have put himself in his grandmother’s hands for a Match Made in Marriage arrangement. He wasn’t that kind of guy.

  Her head ached the more she thought about it. The only thing she knew for certain was that there were far more questions than answers. She’d decided to ask Ilya if he’d been seeing anyone prior to marrying her, but the opportunity hadn’t arisen. Or maybe she was just too scared to bring it up in case he pressed her for reasons why she was asking.

  She trailed a hand along the leading edge of the wing and, putting all her confusion aside, completed her preflight inspection.

  Ilya was waiting for her beside the plane. “All good?”

  “As it should be,” she replied with a smile. “You’re ready?”

  “When it comes to flying, and some other things, come to think of it, I’m definitely ready,” he said with a smile that made her stomach flip and her legs turn to jelly.

  She growled at herself to pull her act together and focus on the flight plan she’d created for today. “All right then,” Yasmin said. “We’d better climb aboard.”

  The airport was less busy than usual and the tower quickly gave Yasmin clearance to take off. In no time they were taxiing down the runway, engine noise filling the open cockpit. Yasmin keyed her mic.

  “You doing okay?”

  “I’m not having to sit on my hands to stop myself from touching the controls just yet, so, yeah, I’m fine.”

  She laughed. She could only imagine how he’d be feeling right now in the front seat of the plane. Visibility wasn’t that great while taxiing in the taildragger, but once they were airborne? Well, that would be a different story altogether.

  Yasmin felt the tail lift off and experienced the accompanying thrill she always got when she took the Ryan up. A few seconds later they were climbing out. She reached her chosen altitude and keyed the mic again.

  “I’m going to take her through a few maneuvers. Hold on to your stomach!”

  He gave her a thumbs-up and she pushed the plane into a gentle roll.

  “Is that all you got?” he taunted once she’d righted the plane again. “C’mon, I know you have more tricks up your sleeve.”

  “You asked for it,” she said, taking up the challenge.

  The aerobatic sequence she did was one she often performed at air shows, and the exhilaration was no less for having an enthusiastic passenger on board. But as she came out of a stall and into a spin she wondered if she was taking things a step too far. After all, Ilya was a self-confessed autocrat when it came to being in a cockpit. It wouldn’t feel natural to him to be in the front passenger seat and not take the controls, especially when it felt as though the plane might plummet to t
he ground any second.

  Maneuvers completed, she leveled out and flew out toward the coast. There was something about watching the sea from the air that always calmed her, no matter what kind of day she was having. Her headset crackled to life.

  “That. Was. Amazing.”

  Her lips curved into a grateful smile. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

  “Seriously, you’re a brilliant pilot.”

  Yasmin felt her chest swell with pride. She didn’t often hear praise so heartfelt, and having it come from Ilya? Well, that just made it all the more special.

  “Do you want to fly her for a bit?” she asked. “Nothing too fancy, but just to have a taste of how she handles.”

  “Hell, yeah.”

  Yasmin ran through a few of the basics, underscoring some of the touchier tendencies of the aircraft. “You have control,” she said after Ilya relayed the details back to her to indicate he’d understood.

  Her heart shuddered a little in her chest. Since rebuilding the Ryan with her grandfather, she was the only person to have ever flown the aircraft. Giving control to Ilya now was the deepest mark of respect and trust she’d ever shown anyone. And doing so felt completely natural to her, which came as another shock. Tomorrow, they’d have been married two weeks. How on earth had she, the quintessential distrustful soul, as Riya called her, come so far in this relationship already that she was prepared to relinquish control of her greatest pride and joy? She rubbed at her chest, at the lump that had settled there. Was this what falling in love was like?

  She hadn’t counted on this feeling. Didn’t quite know how to handle it. Marrying Ilya—well, whoever would have been waiting at the altar for her, to be honest—had merely been a means to an end. A solution to a problem that had grown beyond her ability to manage. Developing feelings like this for him so soon? It was ridiculous, she told herself firmly. People didn’t fall in love that quickly.