Simon looked thoughtful for a moment. “Excuse me for a few minutes.” He kissed Emma’s cheek and walked away.
Anna gave the others at the table a sad smile and then sat down in her chair again next to Tom. She fidgeted with the lace on her dress, not knowing what to do. Had she done something to upset Alex? But she hadn’t seen him since the early afternoon and he’d seemed fine then. Even when she was dancing, she hoped that he would sense her love for him. He seemed to always know how she was feeling and she wondered if his “imbuement” of the Immortals had something to do with that.
Where was he?
*****
“Alex, is there a reason you’re out here instead of inside with your wife?”
Simon had found Alex and Seth around the side of the theater. Alex had been there since the end of the performance. He didn’t want to see the way Anna looked at Hugo up close. It was bad enough watching it on stage.
Seth told him he was being ridiculous, but it didn’t help. Alex felt like he didn’t belong anywhere and for the first time in his life, he was avoiding a social situation because he was afraid. Knowing that he was afraid made him feel even more insecure and more determined to avoid the situation. It was a vicious cycle.
“She doesn’t want to see me,” he said softly in German. “I should have stayed away from her.”
Simon looked at him like he’d grown a second head. “What are you talking about?”
“Anna. She...God, I should have just left her alone to her new life. I could have confronted Devin on my own and she would have been free to live her life, believing I was dead.”
“Alex she loves you,” Seth said. “I don’t know where you got this ridiculous idea that she’d rather be with Hugo than you.”
“She took her ring off when they were dating.”
“She put it back on.”
“She knows she has to be with me. That she didn’t really have a choice after all.”
“She chose you before she knew that.” Seth frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. “Although if you keep acting like a pussy, she might change her mind.”
Alex closed his eyes at his friend’s words. “Maybe I should let her.” He turned and walked away, heading away from the theater.
“Where are you going?” Seth and Simon caught up with him.
“Home.” He looked at Seth. “Make sure she gets home okay.”
“You will hurt her if you leave,” Simon called after him. “She was very disappointed when you weren’t in there when she arrived.”
“She’ll be more disappointed if I went back in,” Alex muttered, skipping down the shallow steps that led to the street. His condo was only a few blocks away. Just a few blocks until he could be alone in his misery.
*****
Anna knew something was wrong when Seth walked in with Simon, but not Alex. Dinner was being served, but she pushed away from her chair and hurried over to the two men. “Where’s Alex?”
They looked at each other. “He...,” Seth began, then sighed. “He went home.”
Anna couldn’t believe what Seth just said. “He went home?” she whispered, not believing what she heard.
Seth nodded sadly. “I’m sorry, Anna.”
Anna blinked back tears, unsure of what to do. She looked out through the glass doors, hoping to see Alex walking towards the building, but he wasn’t there. “Why?”
Seth grimaced. “He’s having trouble adjusting to being here.”
Was he really saying that Alex was having doubts about being with her? She didn’t understand what was going on. She’d so been looking forward to dancing with him tonight. To see the proud expression on his face when she walked in.
But he left and went home? Who was this man? Did he not want her anymore? Was that it? He’d spent time with her and realized that she wasn’t what he wanted? The thought was a knife through her heart. Did he not love her anymore?
She went back to her seat and sat down hard, staring at the elegant china place setting in front of her.
“Where’s Alex?” Tom asked as an entree was placed in front of Anna.
She looked at the delicious smelling salmon and vegetables. “Seth said he went home.” She blinked away tears again. “He’s having problems adjusting to being here.”
“Alex?” Tom asked, disbelief in his voice.
Anna nodded, unable to speak, for fear of bursting out into sobs.
“He looked a little uneasy when we came in, but,” Tom shook his head. “I don’t understand why he would leave. I saw him before the performance began and he was looking forward to tonight.”
Tom’s words didn’t help. What had happened between then and now? A knot formed in Anna’s stomach. Had he met someone during the performance and he was going to meet her?
Doubts from all directions began to assault Anna and she was beginning to feel ill. But she couldn’t leave, even if it was to chase after Alex. She represented the Company to these people who spent thousands of dollars to be seen and meet the dancers tonight. She’d left a social occasion early once and had been punished for it by Wilhelm. Anna doubted Tom would punish her, but she didn’t want to take the chance.
She took a deep breath and began to slowly eat, trying to ignore the pain in her heart.
*****
Anna ate and socialized and danced throughout the evening, all with a dull ache in her heart. She quickly got tired of answering the “Where’s Alex?” question. She even tried to call Alex a few times, but he didn’t answer, making her feel even worse.
She and Alex had never fought like this before. Were they fighting? That’s what made it worse. She had no idea what was going on. She didn’t know what had upset Alex. She tried getting angry at him, but couldn’t. All she could do was push away horrible images of him leaving her to be with another woman, or him leaving her period.
By two o’clock Anna was exhausted and her head was hurting. She just wanted to crawl into bed and curl up next to Alex. Would he even be there when she got home? Should she go home? Was that still her home? She’d only lived there a few days. Should she go back to the apartment?
She looked around for Seth and found him flirting with one of the corps dancers. He saw her looking at him and said something to the girl, then walked over to Anna.
“You okay?”
“I think I’m going to go home.” She gave him a questioning look. “Or should I go back to my apartment?”
Seth shook his head. “No, hang on a minute and I’ll take you home.”
Anna shook her head. “You seemed to be having a good thing going with Crystal. It’s only a few blocks.”
Seth frowned. “It’s the middle of the night and I told Alex I’d get you home safe.”
“Then just walk me to the building and come back. There’s no reason you can’t have some...company, like Tony and Greg.”
Seth thought for a moment and then nodded. “Alex is probably asleep and will wake up in the morning regretting leaving you here.”
Seth walked her the two blocks to their building and made sure she got in okay, then headed back to the party.
Anna greeted the doorman and then went to the elevators. She fidgeted in the elevator and then hesitated at the door to the condo. After taking a deep breath, she opened the door and walked inside.
The lights were off except in the library, at the far side of the living room. She kept her shoes on, wanting to alert Alex to her presence with her steps on the hardwood floor. She didn’t want to startle him. Was he in there?
She peeked inside and saw him slouching on the brown leather couch, wearing black sweatpants and holding a drink in his hand. He stared blankly at the lit fireplace, unmoving except for the slow rise and fall of his bare chest.
“Alex?” She was careful to keep her voice soft.
“I didn’t think you’d come home,” he said in a low voice.
Anna inhaled sharply. “Did you not want me to come home?” Tears burned her eyes again.
&n
bsp; “I didn’t think you’d want to.” The hopelessness in his voice made Anna want to cry.
She walked over quickly and sat next to him, taking his hand. “Why would you think that, Alex? Why did you leave?” Her voice squeaked on her last word.
Alex gripped the glass in his hand tighter. “I thought you’d prefer it if I wasn’t there.”
Anna stared at him. “Why on earth would you think that, Alex? I was crushed when you left.”
Alex finally looked at her with bloodshot, sad eyes. “I saw you, when you were dancing with Hugo...you love him.”
Anna was taken aback. She’d barely been thinking about Hugo while she danced. No, she hadn’t completely gotten over Hugo yet, but she was certain of her love for Alex. “Alex...I know I’m still working out my feelings with Hugo, but I love you. This is where I want to be. With you.” She held his big hand with her two much smaller hands as her eyes filled with tears. “Is that why you left? Because you thought I’d rather be with Hugo?”
Alex nodded slowly and the tears spilled over onto Anna’s cheeks. “Why, Alex? Why would you think that?”
She saw the tears in his own eyes and he blinked rapidly. “I saw how you looked at him...how he looked at you. You...I could feel your emotions.”
Anna’s heart broke. Never in her wildest dreams would she ever imagine Alex being so insecure. The tears in his eyes made her own flow harder. Devin had done this to him. Devin had made the most confident man she’d ever met insecure.
Suddenly, Anna was hit full force with what Devin had done to them both and she felt her rage rising to the surface. She knew what Devin had done to her, but she hadn’t realized the full extent of what Devin had done to Alex. Until now.
*****
Alex wasn’t exactly drunk, but not exactly sober either. He’d been sitting here for hours, imagining Anna dancing and having a good time at the Gala, all while being thankful that he’d left. Images of her in Hugo’s arms broke his heart. But if she’d rather be with Hugo, Alex didn’t want to stop her.
He was very surprised, then, when he heard the door open and her light footsteps in the hall. His heart had pounded, fearing what he would see in her face: Disdain? Disgust? Hatred? He didn’t even want to look at her.
She hadn’t responded to his accusation that she’d rather be with Hugo and he felt even more defeated.
Her hands suddenly clenched into fists and she began to shake. He looked up and saw a frightening sight; not disgust, but anger. No, not anger. Rage. Pure, unadulterated rage in her eyes.
“Anna?” he whispered. He exhaled sharply when her pupils began to disappear. “Anna!” he exclaimed, dropping his glass on the floor and grabbing hold of her shoulders.
“Devin...,” she growled. “Devin...destroyed you....” She let out an inhuman scream and Alex leapt back.
She was going into a rage, like she had the night she'd killed Jack. Yet he was pretty sure she wasn’t angry at him.
Fuck. What had the tomes said about this? He...he needed to get control of her. Theoretically, it would be easier if he caught her before it completely took hold.
He sat back down and took her head in his hands, turning her face toward his. “Anna. Anna, look at me.”
She shook and jerked, trying to get free.
“Anna, Schatzi, look at me. Devin will pay. Devin will pay, I promise. Don’t lose control, my love. Please.”
She grabbed hold of his wrists, growling and digging her fingernails into the tender flesh. He winced, but thought he’d seen a glimmer of humanity in her eyes.
“Anna, look at me.” He hesitated. He had to command her. It was the only way. “Anna! Look at me.” He spoke in a firm, commanding tone, praying it would get her attention.
It did! Her eyes locked onto his. “Anna, Devin will pay for what he did. Please, please come back to me.”
She growled, but her pupils were starting to show again. He held her head firmly, keeping his eyes locked on hers and watched as she slowly, oh-so-slowly began to relax.
Her jaw trembled and she let out a sob and collapsed into his arms, tears drenching his chest and heart-wrenching wails breaking his heart. He leaned back in his seat and pulled her into his lap, holding her as tight as he could without hurting her.
She cried and cried and Alex held her. His chest was as wet as if she were showering him with her hot tears, but he didn’t care. He stroked her silky hair and whispered to her in German as the sobs wracked her body.
*****
Grief overwhelmed Anna, making her wail unlike she had in a very long time. She thought she had passed out for a few minutes, because she remembered getting angry and then the next thing she knew, she was in Alex’s lap, crying. She tried to stop, not wanting to impose on Alex while he was upset, but she couldn’t.
Devin! Devin had destroyed her handsome, confident husband. The anger wasn’t there anymore, just grief. Intense grief.
An eternity later, when her tears ran dry, she looked up at Alex. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I made you feel like that, Alex.”
He wiped away her black-mascaraed tears with his thumbs. “I’m sorry I got jealous.”
“I was dancing for you,” she whispered. “I was barely thinking about Hugo as I danced. It was all for you....”
Alex’s eyes widened and she saw tears forming again. “Oh, Anna. Oh, mein Schatzi.” He grimaced. “I am a fool.”
“Devin...he hurt you so badly.” She cradled his smooth cheek. “Alex....” She leaned forward and kissed him, dragging her hands through his hair and thrusting her tongue into his mouth.
He groaned loudly and kissed her back with a passion. His hand tangled in her hair and met her tongue’s thrusts.
“Make love to me, Alex,” she murmured against his mouth. She felt him grin against her mouth and suddenly she was in the air.
Alex stumbled slightly and she opened her eyes to see him giving her a sheepish smile. “I’ve had a bit to drink.”
Anna giggled and wiggled out of his arms and onto the floor. “Are you up for lovemaking?” she teased.
He grinned. “Always.”
Feeling playful suddenly, she gave Alex a mischievous smile before running out of the room. She heard Alex laugh and his heavy footsteps followed behind her. She figured this would be the only time she might be able to outrun him.
He laughed and said something in German as he chased her down the hall and she screamed in delight and ran to their bedroom. His legs being so long, he easily caught up with her and grabbed her around the waist as she reached the door. She screeched and laughed, trying to get away, loving the light in his eyes. He tossed her onto the bed and jumped on after her, making the bed squeak.
“Little minx,” he murmured as he crawled over her and kissed her.
“I love you,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck.
Alex’s gaze softened. “I love you, too.”
Chapter Forty-One
Alex lay on his back with Anna lying on top of him, her green eyes full of love as she gazed at him. He’d been so unbelievably stupid the night before, it was a wonder Anna had forgiven him. But he was very thankful. So thankful.
She ran her fingers across his chest, giving him goose bumps and he shivered. The delight in her eyes made him want her to do it again. He couldn’t imagine a better morning than this: waking up, making love, and then gazing at his beautiful wife for as long as he wanted. Technically, she should be in class right now, but he was glad she’d stayed home. She wasn’t dancing until Tuesday so missing today wasn’t too big of a deal.
It was late morning and neither of them were inclined to get out of bed. He reached out to twirl a lock of sable-silk hair around his finger.
“I missed you,” he whispered, trying to maintain control of his emotions. “I didn’t mind being imprisoned so much, but it was torture being away from you.”
Regret filled her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Alex. I should have listened to you. I should have—”
He pres
sed his finger gently to her lips. “Anna, I understand why you were troubled. Yes, things might have been different, but what matters is we’re here. Now. I don’t hold it against you. None of my men do.” He felt a flash of pain as he remembered his fallen men.
She stroked his cheek, sorrow in her eyes. “How is Erich doing?” she asked after a moment.
“Adjusting. He’s looking forward to coming out in November to confront that son-of-a-bitch.”
“November?”
Alex closed his eyes. “First Monday in November. The day I will kill Devin’s son. Friday will be the funeral. He’ll be expecting a bullet to the head. It won’t come. Saturday at the Funeral Gathering, I will confront him.” He opened his eyes to see Anna staring at him, eyes wide. He grimaced. “I don’t mean to upset you, Schatzi.”
She shook her head. “No, it’s....” She bit her lip. “Can I come?”
Alex didn’t want Anna anywhere near Devin. He wanted her here, safe and far away from that monster. He must have frowned because she narrowed her eyes. “I’m not letting you go anywhere without me.”
He carefully kept his face impassive as his heart swelled with affection for his stubborn wife. He must have not kept his face as impassive as he thought, though, because her eyes narrowed even more.
“I mean it, Alex. The last time you went out of town, you disappeared for almost five years. If you disappear, I’m disappearing with you.”
“Anna, you can’t come with me. I’ll be on a job.”
“Then tell the Elders that your wife won’t let you go.”
“Anna!”
Her brow raised. “I know who the Elders are who are sending you.”
“I have to go to Boston in three weeks.”
“Boston?”
“Oscar.”
Anna looked thoughtful for a few minutes. “That’s my last week of performances.”
Alex nodded. “I was going to come to you that Saturday after your last performance.” He grinned. “Bring you a bunch of pink roses.”
The Life of Anna, Part 5: Emerged Page 33
