She grinned. “You still could.”
“I might.”
She gave him an affectionate smile and pushed forward to kiss him, her soft lips caressing his. Her leg brushed his cock and he felt it come to life. She smiled, letting him know she knew it too.
“I want to come with you,” she murmured against his lips. She nipped his bottom lip and he inhaled sharply, wrapping his arms around her and rolling her to her back.
“Come with me where?” He was feeling very relaxed.
“To San Francisco.”
He chuckled and kissed her again. “You should stay here, where it’s safe.” Why was he feeling dizzy?
“You want to leave me?” she pouted.
“Of course not, Schatzi. I—” Alex stiffened and pulled away from her. Suddenly, he realized what she was doing. “You’re manipulating me.”
Her eyes widened and she shook her head, but he put his hands on both cheeks. “Anna, don’t you dare try and manipulate me.” He gave her a stern look and she blinked rapidly a moment before bursting into tears.
“I’m sorry,” she whimpered. She gazed up at him, all hints of seduction gone. “I’m sorry, Alex, but I can't stand the thought of you leaving me.” The tears slid down the sides of her face and onto his hands. “Please,” she whispered. “Please don’t leave me. I’ll be a nervous wreck the entire time.”
“You can call me while I’m gone.”
“But what if you don’t pick up? What if something happens to you?” Her green eyes were filled with grief. “Please, Alex. Please don’t leave me here.”
Alex rolled to his back and ran his hands through his hair. The thought of leaving her didn’t sit well with him either. He knew she’d be a mess with him gone. But what could he do?
“Anna, even if I take you to San Francisco, I still have to go to Boston.” He sighed. “I don’t want you seeing what I do.”
“It’s okay if I know, but not okay if I see?” She sat up on her elbow and frowned. “Alex, Devin killed Ben in front of me. Tyler is as cruel as Devin. Oscar nearly killed me. Rylan raped me so many times I can hardly count. Seeing you ‘work’ can’t be any worse than that.”
He grimaced at the truth of her words, but he couldn’t take her with him. “Anna, you have to dance while I’m in Boston. I can’t take you away from that.”
“Change the date.”
“What?” he exclaimed. “Anna, we’ve worked out the details. I can’t just call my father and tell him I’m pushing off the job. You don’t do that to Elders.”
“Fine.” She rolled over and stood up. “I’ll call him.”
She started to walk away and Alex jumped up and lunged after her. “Anna, you can’t do that.”
She spun around. “Why not? Why are they making you leave me? Don’t they know what that will do to me?”
“I’m doing this for you, Schatzi,” Alex said in a raspy voice. “I know your country will be better off without these men, but the only thought that will be going through my head as I pull the trigger is how much they hurt you.”
She began to shake and Alex briefly became concerned that she was going to rage again. He hadn’t told her about the previous night yet. He studied her eyes, but there was no anger. Only what could be described as insane grief.
She dropped to her knees and hugged his legs. “Please, Alex. I can’t lose you again. I can’t. I won’t survive.”
“Nothing’s going to happen to me, Schatzi.” He bent down to pull her arms from around his legs before crouching down next to her and hugging her tightly.
“That’s what you said the last time,” she sobbed into his shoulder.
He stared out the window behind her as he stroked her hair. “I will talk to Vati. If he believes it is a possibility, I will approach Tom and Vlad.” He pulled her away slightly and gazed lovingly into her eyes. “But we must obey our Elders, Anna. I cannot go against their wishes.”
Anna nodded and sniffed. “Okay.” She gave him a brave smile through her tears.
Alex hoped Vati had a solution for this. He had no idea what to do.
Chapter Forty-Two
“What was it like?”
Alex looked up from his lunch. “What was what like?”
“Being in Russia.” Anna’s fork was halfway to her mouth, holding a cluster of romaine lettuce and Parmesan cheese. They sat together upstairs, in the windowed conservatory that overlooked his terrace and Central Park.
Alex thought for a moment and then gave a half-smile. “Boring.”
Anna giggled. “Boring?”
He shrugged. “There wasn’t much to do. After we realized there was no chance of escape, we just...accepted it....”
*****
I sat in my room next to the window, reading, most days. There wasn’t much else to do. Three and a half years passed sitting by that window. The world went on, but still I sat there. For a prison, it wasn’t so bad. We had good meals every day down in the well-appointed dining room, unless there were guests. We were given time outside and time in the library when requested. Vitaly even had a gym downstairs for us to use.
You had appeared in this room when I first was captured but you were faint, and I hadn’t been certain you were real. You didn’t speak very coherently, and when you disappeared, I wondered if it had been a dream. Then there was nothing for two years.
Those were my dark days. My men tried to cheer me, but it didn’t work. Despair and depression crept in and I did very little except sit in my chair and stare at the spot where you had stood, willing you to come back, but you didn’t. Vitaly wouldn’t tell me anything that was going on, though sometimes he hinted that you were dead, or married to someone else and happy. Anything to torment me. That fucking bastard. And to think he had been a family friend.
Vlad was just as bad when he visited, though he seemed more reasonable on some levels. Vitaly seemed as bad as Devin. Vlad at least tried to understand and was sympathetic...a little.
It was one of my darker days when I sensed you again. I was staring out the window at nothing when I heard a wisp of a sound. I was afraid to look; I had looked so many times before. But when you said my name...my heart leapt and I turned to see you, my beautiful sweet wife, older, thinner, sick-looking even. But you were there. It took everything inside me to not run over there. I knew you would disappear at my touch, so I just looked, gazing into your beautiful green eyes, willing you to feel my love and longing.
“Are you really there?” I asked in a raspy voice, but you frowned, and I realized I’d spoken in German. Same mistake I’d made so many years ago. I smiled at my foolishness and tried again in English.
Your eyes widened and you took a step back and shook your head. “You’re dead. This isn’t real. No!” you shouted, and disappeared.
I slumped in my chair and stared at the spot. You had come, but you didn’t want to be there. Did you no longer love me? I looked at the ceiling and let my tears flow freely. My beloved Schatzi. Did you hate me? Why had you come? Was it something Devin had cooked up to torment me?
I still had no answers to my questions when Seth came into my room later to get me for dinner.
“She came,” I said in a broken voice. “She came and she hated me.”
Seth walked into the room and knelt down next to my chair. “Alex, she would never hate you. What happened?”
I told Seth what had happened.
“You’ve been gone for two years and you haven’t seen her since you first got here. She was probably scared and hurting. I know Anna. She would never hate you. Never.”
I gave my friend an uncertain smile and swallowed. “You think so?”
Seth grinned. “Either that or your appearance scared the shit out of her. Have you looked at yourself lately?”
I shook my head. “Do I look that bad?”
“Well, you look better than a bum on the street. But only just.”
I chuckled. “Maybe I should trim my beard.”
“Maybe. Or at leas
t brush it so you make sure there aren’t any rats living in it.”
*****
Seth had been right; I looked like shit. From then on, I kept my hair combed and beard trimmed in hopes that you would come. It was several months later when you did. I had almost not bothered that day, but was glad I did.
The hurt in your eyes was evident when I turned to see you. God, it broke my heart. You accused me of abandoning you. You were hurt and angry. I thought trying to assure you that I was real would help, but I was wrong. It only made you more upset. Without thinking, I reached out to you and you were gone. I fell to my knees and wept.
When you came again, you seemed reluctant to be there, but calmer. God, you were so beautiful. You looked healthier than before, which made me feel better. You refused to accept that I was real, and I didn’t push it. I was thrilled to see you still wore your wedding ring, as I did. You might not know that I was still your husband, but I certainly knew you were still my wife, and knowing you still wore my ring...it made me want to fly.
It killed me that I couldn’t comfort you when you started crying about the baby. I had been adamant about finding out about the baby and had been stunned when Vlad told me what Devin had done. But that had been years ago, and you were still grieving? It didn’t make any sense. Not that what happened wasn’t traumatic, but I was confused until I found out, much later, that you had been on drugs for two years, until Devin had demanded you get sober. I swore that when I got out of there I would make Devin pay for what he had done to you.
But you had reached for me before you left. The briefest touch and you were gone, but it warmed my heart. Maybe you would forgive me after all.
The next time you came, I accepted that I needed to let you think it was just a dream. You were calmer and didn’t get upset if I let you think you were dreaming. You stayed much longer and I was able to find out a lot about what Devin had been doing. He was taking your powers from you for his own, and it frustrated me to no end that I couldn't do anything about it. I made you leave when the contact became too burdensome and you began to hurt. I liked that you didn’t want to leave. You told me you loved me, and I lived on those words for a long time.
Shortly after that, Vlad began visiting me more often. He seemed to genuinely want to know about my relationship with you, and about Devin. Vlad, in turn, gave me news about you. That you still loved me and—
“Do you see her?” Vlad asked one morning after a lengthy question and answer time.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “What do you mean?”
“She says she dreams of you but they’re not real, like they used to be.” Vlad’s eyes softened. “Are they real?”
I studied him for a few minutes. “Yes,” I said finally. “Yes, she comes here. I let her think they’re dreams because she gets upset when I try to tell her I’m real.”
Vlad nodded and left a few minutes later.
The next time Vlad came, Peter was with him. I was appalled at first at what Devin had done, making you “date” someone, but as Peter spoke, I realized that Peter cared for you deeply. Peter spent a few hours with me, telling me about what you had been doing and reassured me several times that you still missed me and that if I ever got free, you would willingly return to me.
“Ever got free?” I snorted when he said that. “Not as long as your grandfather is alive.”
Peter looked at me impassively and then stood to leave. “He is an old man, Alex. Old men die.”
*****
“Peter really said that?” Anna asked. She vaguely remembered Aaron saying something about Vitaly being killed.
Alex nodded. “Honestly, I think his death was...artificially induced.”
Anna’s eyes widened. “Peter killed him?”
“I think it was more Vlad. Peter was with you, remember?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Vitaly slowly started getting sick, and towards the end, I didn’t even see him. Vlad seemed...unsurprised and rather unemotional when he came to tell me....”
*****
Time passed, Vitaly was still alive and even Vlad didn’t come visit anymore. You came every once in a while and, as long as I didn’t try to convince you I was real, you were fine.
I’d seen you just a few days before and you looked so dejected. You said you were lonely. Promises of dead men, you said. Those words tore into my heart. I longed to prove that I would come, but how could I? It was too painful to hope.
I realized that I had been staring out the window. Not that it mattered. I had the rest of my life to finish the book in my lap. I could stare at the Russian blue sky all I wanted, and still have time to finish my book.
I sighed and stood, placing the book on the table next to me. Maybe I’d ask for some time outside. It would get cold soon; too cold to go out. I ran my hands through my hair and interlaced my fingers on top of my head as I looked out the window to the small world I had inhabited for so long.
A sharp rap sounded on the door and then it opened. I turned to see Vlad standing in the doorway with a very somber expression on his face.
“My father is dead,” he announced without emotion.
“I’m sorry to hear that, Vlad,” I said sincerely, for Vlad’s sake. It would be tough to lose a father, even one as harsh as Vitaly.
“Yes, well....” Vlad looked at me uncomfortably. “Anna will be here in a few days and I must take you all down to the cellar until she’s gone.”
The cellar was a freezing cement room that we were taken to whenever there were guests in the house. It was also where I and my men spent our first few weeks in St. Petersburg.
“Anna’s coming here?” I asked, with more emotion than I’d expected to show.
“I don’t think she’ll come here to the house, but she will be in town. If she senses you here...Devin will not like it.”
Devin won't like it? I studied Vlad carefully. “What about you?”
“I don’t want her to be hurt,” Vlad said slowly.
I snorted. “If you don’t want her hurt, let me and my men go.”
“When the funeral is over, I will reconsider many things my father did.” He gave me a pointed look. “But until then, the protections on the house must be strengthened. There cannot be a hint of anyone knowing you are here, or Devin would be very upset.”
I nodded slowly, trying to decipher what Vlad was saying. Was he saying that he would let us go? Would Vlad not be upset if anyone knew we were here?
“Once the funeral is over...things may change. Tomorrow I will take you to the cellar.” He turned to leave but paused. “I almost forgot to give this to you.” He handed me a portable DVD player. “Peter sent this to me. I thought you might like to see.”
When Vlad left, I powered the device on and my heart pounded as I heard the first strains of the music of Giselle. My Anna! It was your performance of Giselle with Peter. I watched the entire thing without moving, and then began it again before I realized the others might want to see it. I hurried out into the hallway and called for them.
Though the stairway was blocked off, we had the tower floor to ourselves. Seth, Tony, Greg and Erich came out of their rooms. You would have laughed at all the beards and long hair. A pain hit my heart, knowing I had lost three men trying to find a means of escape the first year we were there. There was no way out. The deaths of Jesse, Michael and Jason had proven that. Sebastian hadn’t died, of course, but had been banished to wherever he came from.
I put the DVD player on the ground and began it again. No one spoke as the ballet progressed, but we all watched. When it was over, Seth started it over and we all sat and watched it together again. And again.
I looked around at my men. My family. I would have likely killed myself if it hadn’t been for them all this time. They were subdued, but not unhappy. There just wasn’t much to talk about after all this time; nothing really happened. We had exhausted all possible escape routes and lost three good men trying. Life was monotonous.
Vlad chuckled
a few hours later when he came up and saw us all sitting on the floor in the hallway. “I didn’t know you were all so fond of ballet.”
If it had been Vitaly, I would have had a smart remark ready for him, but Vlad had been kind enough to give us this, so I held my tongue. Besides, his comment seemed genuine.
“I can ask for more if you’d like,” Vlad offered.
I nodded. “Please,” I said, my voice raspy.
Vlad gave me a sympathetic look. “She’s a wonderful dancer and a wonderful young woman.”
The men all nodded. Not once had they complained or suggested that you were the reason they were there. Seth, Greg and Tony still adored you. Erich didn’t know you as well, but knew me enough to know you were something special. I was so grateful for them all.
It pained me to know Vlad had contact with you when I couldn’t, but...there was something different about Vlad now that Vitaly was gone. More than just him becoming an Elder. It gave me a glimmer of hope for the first time in a very, very long time.
Chapter Forty-Three
Anna stood and walked around to the other side of the table and embraced Alex. Knowing her refusal to believe him had hurt him made her feel so guilty. “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you, Alex,” she whispered, settling on his lap and leaning her head against his shoulder. “I was so consumed with grief—”
“Anna, I’ve told you. It’s all right. I understand. If you had believed me, and Devin had found out...who knows what would have happened? I might still be in that cellar.”
His words brought to mind a memory unbidden. “The cellar....” She sat up. “You got sick. You got sick and... Devin sent me to heal you....”
Alex nodded.
“But...why did I get sick too?”
“I was down there because Devin wanted me down there. I got sick because of being down there. So you did too....”
The Life of Anna, Part 5: Emerged Page 34
