Grave Creatures

by John P. Logsdon

  “So what’s the main guy’s actual name?” Rachel said as she turned to look at us. She clearly noticed that we were all staring at her because she added, “What?”

  “Hmmm?” I said and then coughed. “Uh, nothing. Must just be the elixir. What was your question?”

  “The big boss,” she said, nodding at Harvey, “what’s his name?”

  “Frederik,” Harvey answered and then guffawed. “Hey wait, you said ‘Fred,’ right?”

  I gave a sideways smile to Rachel. “I sure did.”

  “I didn’t put two and two together because he hates being called Fred.” He chuckled for a second. “So you know the guy?”

  “Not exactly. Lucky guess, I suppose.”

  We got another communique in from the team at the front lines. It seemed that Fred—or Frederik—had started sending his second wave in. The normals were having a blast, but my crew was starting to run out of steam.

  We crested another hill and saw that Fred had set up a basecamp. This was good and bad. It was good because it meant he wasn’t going to be moving around; it was bad because there would certainly be sentries around.

  Everyone hit the dirt.

  “Did you feel anything trigger?” I asked Rachel.

  “No, but that doesn’t mean we weren’t spotted.”

  Exactly what I was thinking.

  I motioned everyone to slowly creep back down until we were out of visual range from any of the hills on the other side. We could only hope that nobody saw us. With any luck they were all looking in different directions at the time.

  But we had to have our bearings, so I crawled back up, recognizing the fact that this suit was completely done for. It was my own fault. I seriously needed to invest in an outfit that was meant for this type of fighting.

  Zooming my vision, I caught three sentries. One was directly across from us. He appeared to be sleeping. Another was inline with the campground, nearly right on top of it. The third was in the distance, toward where the rest of my crew and the normals were battling zombies. I guessed that sentry was really there to relay details on the fight.

  I couldn’t spot any on this side, which seemed odd. Why only cover one visual plane?

  “I see only three,” I said after getting back with the crew, “and they’re all on the other side.”

  “That don’t make sense,” Merle said.

  “Nope,” agreed Cletus.

  “Doesn’t to me either,” I stated, “so keep your eyes open and move carefully.”

  “He probably just has detectors on this side,” noted Rachel. “Or maybe explosives.”

  That put a dent in my plan. I was hoping to have the two normals skirt around and lay down fire against the zombies once our true purpose in camp became apparent, but they didn’t have a connector installed. That meant our fancy glasses wouldn’t allow them to spot any bombs. It was one thing to get them to fight along with us, but something else entirely to just blow up while walking along to set up sniper positions.

  “You’ll have to go with them,” I said to Rachel. Her eyebrows went up and she started to speak, but I stopped her. “It’s the only way. These guys can’t wear the shades.”

  “I can wear shades,” argued Cletus. “Do it all the time.”

  “Me, too,” Merle said with a nod. “Not at night, usually, but I’m quite capable of wearing them.”

  “These aren’t just any shades, gentlemen,” I said, and left it at that. “Rachel, it’s the only way. You have to keep them safe while Harvey brings me in.”

  She sighed and nodded.

  I knew she didn’t like it. Neither did I, but sometimes that’s how things rolled out. Besides, it could be for the best anyway since having her throwing magic from afar would be useful in keeping the mages on the ground busy.

  “All right, Harvey,” I said after checking my weapons to make sure they were set, “you ready to do this?”

  “As long as you keep your promise about letting me rip Chip’s head off, I’m good.”

  “You’ve got my word,” I stated with a sharp nod. “Of course, that assumes that you get to him first. If one of these guys shoots him, it’s out of my hands.”

  Harvey frowned, which looked really strange on a bear. “A deal is a deal, Officer Dex.”

  “It’s fine,” said Cletus. “We can shoot around him. Right, Merle?”

  “It’d help if we knew what he looked like.”

  “Oh yeah, true.” Harvey tapped his cheek while looking up. “He’s a little guy about your height,” he said, pointing at Cletus. “Wears a black robe and a pointy hat.”

  “Don’t all of the wizards down there do that?” I asked, recalling the quick scan I’d done.

  “Yeah, that’s true.” Harvey snapped his fingers. “Oh yeah, you won’t be able to miss him! My wife bought him one of those silly laser signs for his birthday last month. Makes him wear it, too.” He leaned in. “She’s really pushy. Matriarch of the family and all, you know?”

  I frowned. “You’re kidding.”

  “No.” He laughed. “The other wizards make fun of him relentlessly because of that sign. Anyway, if you see that, it’s Chip.”

  “What’s it say?” I cautiously ventured.

  “Chip, the wizard.”

  Chapter 41

  Harvey carried me in to camp as if I’d been knocked out. Honestly, it must have looked like he was carrying me across the marital threshold because I was on my back in his massive arms. I was comfortable in my masculinity, but it didn’t help to hear Rachel making jokes through the connector.

  “Now if you have any questions about your first night together, Ian,” she was saying, “make sure to ask them before he takes your flower.”

  “Shut up,” I whisper-hissed. “I’m trying to get my head in the game here.”

  “That’s the spirit. Just act like you enjoy it. He’ll never know.”

  I wanted to groan in response, but that would only spur on another comment. Besides, we were getting close to the main players now.

  It was show time.

  “Where are the rest of them?” asked a snotty sounding man.

  “They put up a fight, Chip,” Harvey answered evenly. “Me and this guy were the only two survivors, and he got it worse than I did.”

  “Unbelievable. You had one job to do, and it wasn’t even a difficult job. My sister was right, you are an imbecile.”

  Okay, so now I understood why Harvey was amped to tear this guy’s limbs off. And according to my new werebear pal, Chip’s sister was even worse. At least she wasn’t here to tag team the poor guy.

  “Hey, sis,” Chip called out, “your lame excuse for a husband screwed up again.”

  “What?” a female version of Chip said. I heard the crunching of dirt under feet. “Where are the rest of them, you worthless snake?”

  I cracked open an eye and found myself looking at an incredibly attractive woman. She had dark red hair, green eyes, pale skin, and lips so full that they could have been moon bounces. Honestly, it made me grasp how Harvey could manage to put up with her nagging.

  “They were killed, along with all our guys.”

  Harvey’s voice had an edge to it. A grit. He was losing his cool. I pinched his arm, hoping to stir the memory that we needed him to keep that facade rolling a little longer. Obviously he caught on because he sighed and grunted.

  “Sorry to be obstinate, Matilda,” he said like a defeated husband. “I think the speed spell Chip put on me wore me out a bit.”

  Matilda?

  “A real man could handle that spell without a problem,” Matilda noted with much disdain. “I’ll never understand how you became a werebear at all. Weak-willed, weak-spirited, and weak minded.”

  To his credit, Harvey didn’t reply. I had the feeling that the time of reckoning was nigh, though.

  She grunted and said, “Follow me.”

  Again, I opened an eye and watched her walking in front of us. That body was enough to make me weak in the knees,
and in spirt, and in mind. Seriously, damn.

  Poor Harvey.

  “Are we supposed to shoot her?” I whispered up at him.

  “Shit,” he replied and shook his head.

  “Thought not.”

  I notified Rachel to leave her off the hit list as well. Harvey would take care of them both. Such a shame, I thought as I gave Matilda another gander. Ah well, there are many fish in the sea.

  “Supreme Wizard,” she announced, dropping to a knee and putting a fist into her opened hand at head height while bowing slightly, “we have brought you mostly what you asked for.”

  “Why only mostly?” came the response. I couldn’t see the face, but that voice fit Shitfaced Fred all right. “There were four, according to my notification runes. Yet I only see one here.”

  “The others died in battle,” she replied meekly.

  It was clear that she was afraid of this guy. Considering how she’d just treated Harvey, that was surprising. It either meant Fred was a real bad ass—which he clearly was—or she wasn’t as strong-willed, strong-spirited, and strong-minded as she seemed. Could it be that Harvey was just pressing the wrong buttons? I’d seen that kind of thing many times over my years. Well, if we made it out of this alive, I’d have to have a word with him about it. Granted, Matilda would end up doing time for being involved in all of this, but maybe their marriage could be salvaged if he just learned to exert a little control.

  “Very disappointing,” Fred said as he approached me. “Set him down.”

  Harvey plopped me on the ground. It didn’t feel great, but I understood why he did it that way. If he’d have gingerly set me down, that would have looked suspicious.

  I groaned and began acting like I was waking up.

  “What happened?” I said. “Where am I?”

  “You’ve been captured, Mr. Dex,” said Fred with a very proud smile.

  “Captured where?” I was playing the role a little longer so he wouldn’t get suspicious. “Everything is blurry and the sounds are all muffled.”

  “Well, we can’t have that,” said Fred and then he flicked his wand at me.

  A small bit of energy struck my temple. It didn’t hurt. In fact, it made me feel quite clear-headed. Almost too clear, which I assumed happened because I was just faking my concussion symptoms.

  “There, that should do it.”

  “Shitfaced Fred?” I replied, blinking at him in mock surprise. “You’re the necromancer?”

  His eyes grew dark as the wizards around him all sucked in a worried breath. Obviously he didn’t like the name I’d selected for him. That made me feel good inside.

  “Who told you my nickname?” he asked with a hiss as he leaned in so nobody could hear him. “I haven’t been called that in years.”

  Okay, that was surprising. You’ve been on this ride with me, so you know I just made up that name from the get-go. I had no insights or intel. There was nothing in the vision that spelled out his name either, let alone his nickname. Maybe this was another skill of mine? Kind of a pointless skill, unless I was destined to be a phone operator in a third-world country at some point in my life.

  “Honestly, it was just a guess because of how you looked when I first saw you,” I explained almost apologetically. “That, and I like the name Fred.”

  “Well, it’s Frederik, if you please.” His irritation remained apparent. He snapped his fingers at Harvey and pointed at me. “Now, we have business to attend to, Mr. Dex, and your assistance is required.”

  Harvey dragged me to my feet and pushed me to follow behind Fred. With each shove, I noticed that Matilda gave Harvey a hint of admiration. So I was right. She was the type of person who wanted a strong hand. I’d seen it on both sides of the fence in relationships. Hell, I preferred the strong hand of Serena, right? Of course I played both ways. Just ask Jasmine. But Matilda’s brand of play was different. She liked being punished. That’s why she was a shit-starter. She would never acquiesce without a fight, but once Harvey earned that respect, she’d be putty in his hands. That, though, all depended on whether or not Harvey was strong enough. I’m not talking physically here, either.

  “You realize I’m not going to help you, I hope?” I said to Fred as we approached a table. Beyond the table I spotted Paula seated in one of the chairs. Her eyes were closed. Shit. I swallowed hard but kept my act going. “I don’t care how nicely you ask, either.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of asking you, Mr. Dex.”

  “Oh.”

  If I was being honest, I’d have to say that Fred was kind of terrifying. He was small, sure, and frail, and his face was drawn, and his eyes were sunken into his skull, but there was something even more dark and creepy about him. Beyond the necromancer thing, I mean. He was just…ick.

  “What are you planning to do to me?”

  His grin was vile. “I’m going to turn you into a zombie, of course.”

  Chapter 42

  I drew Boomy so fast that Doc Holiday would have raised an impressed eyebrow. I trained it on Fred. If he wanted to play the kill-Ian-Dex game, it’d take more than simple threats.

  Within seconds hands were glowing from the mages on his squad, wizards had their wands up and pointed at me, a set of zombies was closing in, and a couple of werewolves and vampires joined them.

  “Put down your weapons and calm yourselves,” Fred commanded. He then looked back at me and said, “There you go, Mr. Dex. I’m all yours. You may fire when ready.”

  I knew taking a shot at him was going to prove pointless, but I needed to stall so that Rachel, Cletus, and Merle could do whatever it was they were planning to do.

  “Before I do,” I said, “what’s been your point of all this?”

  “Ah, you wish me to spill the beans of my nefarious plan, eh?”

  I shrugged. “Sure, why not?”

  “You must watch a lot of movies, Mr. Dex,” he said with an old-man’s chuckle. “Very well, I shall humor you, though you’ll be seeing this unfold firsthand anyway. Of course your perspective will be a bit less clear when that happens.”

  “Let’s not forget who is holding the gun here, Fred.”

  He sneered. “My name is Frederik. Not Fred. Curb your insolence or I’ll make you wish you’d never been born.”

  I laughed at that. “You just said you’re about to kill me, Fred,” I said, continuing to push his buttons. “Still not sure where you get that level of confidence seeing as I’m about to put a bullet in you, but delusions seem to be the norm with you crazy bastards.” His eye was twitching. “Regardless, if you’re going to kill me anyway, what difference does it make about my wishing to have never been born?”

  “There are things worse than death, Mr. Dex.”

  “Who’s seen too many movies now, Fred?” I shook my head at him. “Seriously, that was pathetic.”

  The best part of this entire exchange was seeing all of his minions as they looked from Fred to me to Fred and so on. It was like watching a match at Wimbledon.

  “Do you wish to hear of my plans or are you just intent on irritating me to the point of destroying you?”

  “Both?” I offered as a possible third option.

  “Forget it,” he said, looking even more aggravated than before. “I’ll just kill you now.”

  “Wait, wait, wait,” I said, shaking the gun at him while wondering where the hell Rachel and crew were. “How about I guess what your dastardly plans are?”

  He held up a hand to stop the others from coming in.

  “This should prove interesting,” he mused. “Fine. Go ahead.”

  “If it’s all the same to you,” I added, while lowering Boomy slightly, “I’d rather not have to point this at you the entire time. Gentleman’s agreement that I may speak freely and then reset to our current position?” He seemed perplexed by this request, which all played well into my idea. I needed to put him on edge. “It’s just that I think better when I pace back and forth.”

  “Oh, right,” Fred said. “I get
that. I’m the same actually.”

  “Great minds think alike, they say.”

  “Right.” He coughed lightly. “Well, I agree to your terms.” He then turned to his crew and said, “Nobody is to take any action against this man until I say so.”

  They all relaxed.

  I stuck Boomy back in his holster and cracked my knuckles. The camp was rather small, but a box of the size that I’d seen in my vision could be hidden anywhere. I had to find it.

  “My initial thought,” I began as I stepped toward the table, “was that you wanted to systematically terrorize the city until such time that you could just kill off everyone in my department.”

  I dropped to tie my shoe and glanced under the table. Nothing.

  Jumping back up I continued, “But that seemed too easy for someone of your skill. There had to be more going on than was meeting the eye.”

  The group of chairs where Paula was sat off to the side of the table, with a smaller table sitting in their midst. There was also a mini fridge, which I thought was pretty cool considering Fred was supposed to be a villain and all. Taking care of your people’s needs was important, regardless of what you did for a living. On top of the fridge was a framed photograph of Fred in full wizard attire. The word “Master” was etched on the frame at the bottom.

  “For a while I had even considered that you were only after me. I was told it was just my ego talking, but you definitely seemed to be going out of your way to coat me with zombie goop.”

  “I was merely helping you to acclimate to the role you’ll soon be playing,” he said in a kind way.

  “Very generous.”

  “Think nothing of it.”

  “But I thought for certain my crew was wrong about my ego.” I paused. “Well, they’re right about my ego, but I mean specifically the part regarding you coming after me specifically. But then my ego was justified when you kidnapped Paula. You must have known she and I dated for a while.”

  “I did indeed know, and that’s precisely why I took her. I wanted you to come after me.”

  I nodded and gave her still form another look.

  “So there’s no soul-sucking or anything going on with her?” I tried to keep hopefulness out of my voice.