Lost for You

by BJ Harvey

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  To Kate,

  For pulling me back from the ledge so many times with this book,

  I’m surprised we both don’t have whip lash.

  Oh yeah, and PTFD

  It’s been five days since Brax left, and I have a bad feeling about it. Something seems off, but Gibbons says it is the boss man’s orders, so we have to toe the line.

  For five days, I’ve been eating, sleeping, and breathing surveillance. I haven’t wanted Elle out of my sight. Brax is like a brother to me; he’s like another member of my family. Therefore, Elle is family too. Family looks out for each other. Protects each other.

  Apart from the normal comings and goings of the building’s tenants, there hasn’t been anything out of the ordinary. Elle hasn’t left her apartment at all. I’ve seen her looking out her window a few times, sitting in her loveseat, waiting for him. It crushes me to see her like this; not being able to tell her why he had to leave and that I’m still here, watching her for him.

  I’m holding on to the fact that he’ll find his way back to her somehow. I’ve never seen Brax be like this with a woman before. No one has ever come close to Elle for him. She’s his end game, his forever, and damned if I’ll let anything ruin that for him. After all the shit he’s been through with his family, the army, even working for the boss, he needs her. He deserves her.

  They both deserve a life of happiness.

  So I’ll continue to sit here, continue to be her shadow until he tells me he’s coming back. Until I see his ugly mug in front of me and can breathe a sigh of relief.

  I just hope it happens sooner rather than later. For both of their sakes.

  Fuck its dark.

  It’s hard to see him, but I notice a shadow moving towards Elle’s room, no doubt trying to finish the job. That isn’t going to happen, not on my watch. I’m pissed at myself for letting him get this far. I need to neutralize him, then get to Elle. I have to call Brax too. Dammit, he’s gonna kill me.

  I move towards the shadow and bump into someone fairly tall but lanky, definitely not a professional. I rush him and barge him into the kitchen wall with my shoulder. By the way he collapses against the wall, then slides down, I know he’s been knocked out.

  I drag my hands around the wall for the light switch. I’m panicking, but I can’t help it, I need to get to Elle. I finally find it and flick the switch. There is a man wearing a ski mask with blond hair poking out of it, slumped against the wall. I check his pulse; he’s still alive, but looks well and truly out for the count. I pat him down, finding a switchblade in his pocket. Grabbing it, I slip it in my back pocket. I go to the kitchen counter and quickly search the top drawer for something to subdue him with. Finding a cable tie, I grab his hands and secure his wrists. It’s not great, but it will have to do until the police get here. I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket, but I ignore it. It’s the least of my worries right now.

  Spotting his handgun by Elle’s door, I grab it with the sleeve of my shirt, being careful not to put my prints on it. I put the safety on, then pocket it before rushing into the bedroom to check on Elle, scared shitless by what I might find. I can’t handle another woman close to me being killed.

  “Elle, it’s Shay. Are you hurt?”

  “Shay? Oh my god. I think I’m shot,” she answers wheezily.

  Flicking on the bedroom light, I look over to her bed and see that she’s pale and clammy; not a good sign. I’m getting flashbacks of five years ago. Dammit, I can’t lose someone else! I can’t let Brax go through what I had to.

  Pulling my phone out of my back pocket, I see two missed calls. It starts ringing again, but I cancel it because I need to ring for an ambulance.

  I prop the phone between my shoulder and head and rush to her side, grabbing a towel from the floor and holding it tight against her ribs.

  “911. What is your emergency?” the operator asks.

  “We have a woman shot in her bed. She’s conscious, but she’s having trouble breathing. I think the bullet nicked her lung. The intruder has been incapacitated in the other room. We need an ambulance and a squad car,” I tell the operator, unable to tear my eyes away from Elle.

  “Sh…Shay, I need Brax,” she says softly.

  “I know, babe, and I’ll get him here as soon as I can. I promise,” I say, sliding onto the bed next to her and holding her against me while keeping pressure on the towel. Shock is starting to set in and she’s visibly shaking.

  “I’ve gotta get something else to put pressure on the wound,” I say, looking at her. There’s too much blood. I need to slow down this bleeding.

  “Bathroom,” she pants. She’s in so much pain; it’s hard to watch.

  I get off the bed carefully, not wanting to knock her and race to the bathroom, grabbing a clean towel off the rail and rush back to her side, replacing the now drenched towel against her chest.

  “Elle, I need to go check on the guy.” She grabs my shirt, not wanting me to leave her alone. I grab her hand gently.

  “I’ll be right back,” I say as I pull away and walk towards the kitchen, finding it empty.

  He’s gone! What the hell?

  He was out cold. How did I not hear him? I look in the living room and see that the front door is still wide open. Fuck!

  I rush back to Elle’s side and listen for sirens, waiting for the ambulance to arrive.

  I need to get ahold of Brax. He’s gonna fucking kill me.

  “Shay.”

  “B, it’s Elle. She’s been shot,” he tells me quickly. I can tell he’s freaked out. He’s breathing fast, and his voice is shaky. This isn’t good.

  “Fuck!” I shout as I spin around and punch the wall. Damn, that hurt like a bitch! “Tell me she’s okay. She has to be okay.” My heart rate is racing, and all I can feel is a huge weight pushing down on my chest.

  “She’s alive. She got hit in the side of the chest. I got there just after it happened. Took the guy down, but he disappeared while I was checking her. I’m fucking kicking myself. Even with his hands in a cable tie, he still got away. I’ve called 911, and the ambulance is on its way with the police.” He’s talking so fast that it’s hard to keep up.

  None of this would have happened had I not left. I shouldn’t have listened to Gibbons. I realized I’d been had as soon as I got back to Atlanta and the boss asked why the hell I was back.

  “I should never have left,” I say, repeating my thoughts.

  “Look, dude. I’ve got her, and she’s going to be okay. I won’t let anything happen to her again. I’m so sorry, I must’ve dozed off in the car.”

  “Dude, we don’t even know if you could’ve stopped him. We don’t even know how he got in.” He can’t take the blame for this. This is all on me.

  “I’ve been watching her like a hawk for you. You know that.”

  “I’m just glad you’re there now. I’m coming back. I’ll rent a c
ar and drive through the night. I don’t fucking care. Whatever it takes. I need to see her. I’ll text you when I’m close. Tell her I’m coming,” I say desperately.

  “I will. Just drive carefully, man. She needs you alive and in one piece,” he says before hanging up.

  I look around, checking that Gibbons hasn’t sent one of the guys to come find me yet. I don’t know who I can trust anymore. Definitely not Gibbons, that’s for sure. I consider my options and decide to call the one other person I know who will help me, even though I haven’t seen or spoken to him in eight years.

  “Yo, it’s the middle of the night. This better be good,” he answers groggily.

  “Devon, its Brax. I need your help.”

  Middle of the night and my fucking phone starts ringing, so I reach over Melissa to grab it. No, Megan. Dammit, what was her name again…Mary?

  “Yo, this better be good,” I answer.

  “Devon, its Brax. I need your help.”

  Straight away I’m on edge. “I’m sorry. Did you say Brax?

  “Yeah, it’s me,” he replies, sounding defeated.

  “My brother? The one who vanished into thin air? Tell me why I shouldn’t hang up in your fucking ear right now,” I say angrily.

  “Because I’m your brother and I need your help. I’m out of options,” he says, deadpan.

  “Fuck, Brax, you gonna pull that card? Where were you when I needed you? When Dad roped me into doing his dirty work? Oh, that’s right. Off playing soldiers. You left me high and fucking dry, brother,” I spit out.

  “Yeah, I know, and I’ve regretted that ever since. I had to get out of Atlanta, you know that,” he says, his voice full of regret. “Otherwise he would’ve pulled me in too.”

  “Of course, it’s all about you. I forgot.”

  “C’mon, man. Don’t be like that. Are you still in Charlotte?” he asks.

  “Where else would I be? Daddy dearest has left me alone since I’ve been up here and that’s how I want it to stay. You heard from him?”

  Brax and I share the same father, but Brax’s mom wised up to the old man’s tricks and moved away. I had to suffer through fifteen years with the sad excuse for a man known as Michael Evans before he left my mother and moved to New York.

  I last heard from him five years ago. He wanted to see me again, reestablish our relationship or some shit. What he really wanted was for me to do some of his illegal dirty work; to take some heat off him. Where did that land me? Three years in jail for money laundering and grievous bodily harm. I got let out for good behavior nine months ago, and was met at the prison gates by my supposedly model citizen father who had the balls to pat me on the back and say he was proud of me. What the fuck? Thankfully my parole is finished, so I’m not tied down here anymore.

  That sperm donor of mine was the reason I was behind bars, and I will hate him until my dying days. Brax was lucky; he got off lightly. He joined the Army at seventeen just as Evans started putting pressure on him to join him on the dark side. Probably got the same speech about family sticking together. Blood being thicker than water and all that shit.

  “Long story short. I’ve seen him, and got beat up for crossing him. Just everyday stuff for him,” he tells me.

  “So he hasn’t changed much then,” I say laughing. When you have a corrupt ex-FBI Agent as a father, sometimes the only thing you can do is laugh.

  “Nope, but I need your help, brother. I need a car to drive back up north ASAP. My girlfriend was shot tonight, and I need to get to her.”

  “Dude, really? This is all for a skirt?” I ask, surprised. Brax has never been one to chase a girl.

  “She’s not just another skirt. She is my life,” he says angrily.

  “Holy shit, bro. You finally fell for someone.” I’m shocked that the other slut of the family found a keeper.

  “Hey, man, enough of that shit. So can you help or what?” I can tell he’s on edge. He is completely serious about this.

  “Yeah, okay. What do you need me to do?” I ask, still racking my brain as to why he’s calling me for help.

  “I need a car.”

  “Where’s the Mustang?” I ask, knowing Brax used to have the dopest blue Mustang I’d ever seen.

  “It’s up north. Not much help to me now, is it?” he says with a sigh.

  “Ok. Can you get to Charlotte?” I ask, crossing my fingers he doesn’t expect me to drive to Atlanta to pick his ass up.

  “Yeah, I’ll hitch a ride. There are enough truckers around that I should be good.”

  “When you get up here, give me a call. I’ll come get you,” I say, wondering how they hell I’ll get my truck back from him if he takes it back to New York.

  “Yeah. I really owe you for this,” he adds before hanging up.

  “Fucking oath you owe me, Brax,” I say under my breath as I hang up. God damn Brax James! What the hell just happened? And what the hell did I just get involved in?

  “Baby? Who was that?” I hear from beside me. Fuck! I really need to start remembering their names.

  “None of your fucking business. Get out of my bed!” I say to Mandy. Michelle? God knows. I don’t really care anymore.

  “Fucking asshole! You may have a big dick but that’s all you’ve got!” she yells at me as she strips the sheet off and walks naked as the day she was born into my bathroom.

  Damn, she has a nice ass. Wish I could remember her name; she could have been a repeat caller.

  I text Shay as soon as I get off the phone with Devon.

  Brax: I called Devon, just gotta get to Charlotte and I’ll have a car.

  Shay: Roger that. Elle in ER getting prepped for surgery. Perforating gunshot wound to left side. Managed to control blood loss by getting pressure on it. Will let you know more when I know more.

  Brax: Shit! Why did I fucking listen to him? Should never have left her side.

  Shay: Just get here, B. She needs you now.

  Brax: On it. Going to hitch to Charlotte. Text you when I have a car. Tell her I love her and I’m coming.

  Shay: Already done, dude.

  I hate that I had to call Devon. Don’t get me wrong; he’s my brother, and I love him. But for so many reasons, he’s too much of a reminder of how my life could have turned out. I escaped my father by joining the Army, but Devon has suffered the consequences of being an Evans. He took the rap for him and ended up going inside for five years.

  I haven’t seen him since I was seventeen, about a month before I enlisted. I’d dropped out of school, and Roger told me that I had to do something to change the life I was leading; that if I wasn’t careful, I’d end up exactly like Evans. He even drove me to the Army recruitment office.

  Roger was the type of man who I can only wish to become, and I’ll do everything I can to make him proud. And right now, that means getting my ass back to New York, and back to Elle’s side.

  I make it to the interstate out of Atlanta without being followed. I can’t have Gibbons finding me again. We don’t know if he is working alone, or whether he has other staff from the organization working with him.

  As soon as I had got off the plane in Atlanta, and reached HQ, I knew something wasn’t right.

  I walked into the boss’s office, and the confused look I saw on his face all but confirmed it. Straight away he got to his feet and shut his office door behind him.

  “What’s going on Brax?” he asked.

  “I thought you could tell me. Why pull me off the Halliwell case? I thought we were there until the threat was neutralized?”

  He stopped moving and looked at me as if I’d grown two heads. “What do you mean? Gibbs told me that you and Elle had broken up, and you needed to get out immediately.”

  “Fuck!” I clenched my fists, trying to talk myself out of turning around and seriously hurting Gibbons. “Gibbs must be the rat.”

  “Hmm, that explains a lot,” he said, deadpan.

  “What do you mean? You knew about this?” I asked, my voice demanding answ
ers.

  “Fuck, no. But with the GPS fiasco, his lack of follow through with the notes, and now this stunt, he needs to fucking explain himself” I raked my hands through my hair. “I need to get back to her, boss. She’ll be frantic by now,” I added, not being able to fathom how distraught she must’ve been. The whole situation was one big fuck up, and my poor Elle was suffering the consequences.

  The boss walked back around his big wooden desk, taking a seat in his high backed leather chair. He leaned back, holding his chin in his hand. I could tell he was trying to work out what to do next.

  “Okay Brax, from now on, you only deal with me and Shay. We need to get you off Gibbon’s radar and back to Elle’s side. You know what’s at stake for me, and I definitely can’t afford the feds getting wind of the money just yet. I’ve spent twenty years not being caught. I’m not going to risk it all now.”

  “Right,” I murmured, wondering where the hell he was going with it.

  “You can stay in my apartment upstairs here at HQ until we find Gibbons. I can’t have you out there without someone having your back, and Shay needs to stay on Elle,” he explained. “In three days, you’ll leave here and call Elle, telling her to meet you. Only tell her the necessary details. If you see Gibbons, or anyone you’re not sure about, you need to get to a safe place.”

  “I understand, boss. What about Shay?” I asked. I knew Shay was going to be as angry as I was about Gibbons. We may have had our suspicions, but he was one of the last people we thought would double cross us.

  He looked over at me, typing on his laptop. “Shay stays on Elle until we can get you two back together. I’m only doing this because I know you love the girl. She needs the stability you can offer. But Brax, you have to understand that Gibbons is an unknown entity.”

  “And where is Gibbs now?” I asked.

  “Come here and look.” He beckoned me to his side with his hand. “His GPS hasn’t pinged in over thirty-six hours. God knows how he got away with that without being noticed, but this definitely isn’t a coincidence.”