Lost for You

by BJ Harvey

  Shay: Almost back in town. Gonna go home and crash. I’ll pop around in the morning. Everything good?

  Brax: Long time no see, brother. Yeah, we’re good. Met Sylvia. That was not fun. You know anything about Harry Brimstone being arrested?

  Shay: Wait, Sylvia? Brimstone?

  Brax: Yeah. Turns out she’s my birth mom.

  Shay: You’re fucking kidding me? Holy shit. Boss settled his grudge, finally. Will explain all tomorrow.

  Brax: Wondered when that would happen. All good. Text when you’re heading over.

  Shay: Roger that.

  “You wanna stop for a beer before we get home?” Devon asks, breaking me out of my thoughts.

  “Sounds like the best idea you’ve had all day, brother,” I say as he turns into a great little bar just a few blocks from my apartment. “Nice and close to home too,” I add with a wink, making Devon crack up laughing. He knows exactly what I’m thinking.

  We’re on the prowl, and we won’t be going home until we’ve found a bed buddy for the night.

  Perfect welcome home present.

  After a memorable picnic on the rooftop, Elle and I pack up and move back downstairs to our apartment, both exhausted from a lack of sleep, lingering hangover, and the energetic activities after our picnic.

  Having gotten ready for bed, we’re lying together under the covers, enjoying the blissful silence before sleep takes us.

  “Brax, we need to talk about Aunt Sylvie.” I can tell she’s hesitant.

  I sigh. She’s uncomfortable, and that’s not what I want. “I know. What do you wanna know?”

  “Well, you said that you knew. How long have you known?”

  “I connected the dots two days ago. I looked into her a few times in my past, especially after Roger died. He wanted me to reconnect with her, give her a chance to explain herself. But even with all my contacts, I could only find out that she was born and raised in Atlanta, was working for my father when she got pregnant with me, and that she had moved across country when she gave me up.”

  “So, how did you know that it was Sylvie?” I can tell she’s confused now.

  I start stroking her head which is lying on my chest. “Victor texted me yesterday, asking why Sylvia Brimstone was in town. I guessed that you must’ve called her. When I asked why it was important, he said that she wasn’t born in LA. It all kinda clicked.”

  She lifts her head to look at me. “I’m sorry. If I had known….”

  I move my hands to cup her face, “Elle, you had no way of knowing. And I was gonna tell you, but then she was at the door, and it was too late. But, to be honest, I was shell shocked just being in the same room as her.”

  “You know I’m here for you, Brax. Always, and hopefully forever. You are my family. I have no one else but you and Shay, and now Devon and Aunt Sylvie. That’s it for me. You’re it for me.”

  I grab her hand and give it a small squeeze. “Darlin’, I hope by now that you’ve realized that you’re it for me too. You’re my end game,” I say with a smile.

  “So will you see Aunt Sylvie tomorrow? She can only stay for a couple more days. I spoke to her when you were out this morning.”

  “I’ll try, Elle. I really will.” I drag my hands down to her ass, pulling her tight against me again. “Sleep, sweetheart,” I whisper. “I love you, Miss CEO.” I kiss her head.

  “I love you, Mr. Secret Spy Agent,” she giggles. “Tomorrow, things will be better. I promise.”

  The shrill of a phone ringing breaks through the silence on the apartment. I look over to my phone. 9 a.m. and Elle is not in bed with me. I quickly get my bearings, pull on some boxers, then after going to the bathroom, go in search of my beautiful girl.

  I find her sitting on the couch, laptop open, scanning what looks like the news media sites. I lean down and give her a soft kiss on the lips. “Mornin’. What ya doing?”

  “Just checking on the developments. I’ve already talked to Lawrence and the chairman of the board this morning. The feds are confident we will be able to recover the money Uncle Harry stole.” She grins up at me.

  “Busy morning then?” I say with a smirk.

  She smirks back, quirking an eyebrow in a silent challenge. “Busy morning,” she answers.

  “Are you challenging me?” I lean over her, gently grabbing her hands, lifting them above her head and leaning her back onto the arm of the couch. “Because you know I’ll always win, baby,” I whisper in her ear.

  I trail the tip of my tongue up her delicate neck and over her jaw until I reach my desired destination. I delve inside her mouth, making sure she knows exactly how I’ll win. I ease up the moment I hear her whimper, conceding beautifully.

  I pull back and grin down at her. “Good morning.”

  She giggles. “You already said that.”

  “I know, but that was before I got to taste you again.” I wink before getting back to my feet and disappearing into the kitchen to grab my morning kryptonite from the coffee maker.

  I hear the intercom buzz from downstairs. “I’ll get it, babe.” I take a gulp of coffee before walking over to the intercom, “Hey,” I say into the white, wall-mounted box on the wall of the living room. “

  “Hey, sexy. I’m here for my 9.30am appointment,” I hear an all too familiar voice say.

  “Fuck, you’re a dick,” I say in between laughs. “Bet the reporters loved hearing that too. Get your ass up here, bro.” I push the door release lock, and open the front door as Shay and Devon make their way up the stairs two at a time until I seem them reach the landing outside our apartment.

  “Hey, man,” I say to Shay, giving a one armed man hug. “You too, old man,” I greet Devon as I lead them into the apartment. Elle is in the bedroom, probably getting dressed into something more decent.

  “Coffee?” I look between them and see their affirmative nods. “Coming right up. Make yourself at home, why don’t you,” I add dryly.

  “Don’t we always?” Devon says while Shay cracks up at his candor.

  “Glad to see LA didn’t change you.”

  After pouring two more coffees and carrying them into the living room, Elle walks back in just as I’m about to take a seat. “Everything okay?” I ask, raising my eyebrows and looking concerned.

  “Yeah, we’re all sorted. The new CEO is dealing with all the media and releasing a statement about Uncle Harry and Brightlight. And I’ve talked to the Dean. I can start back at school on Monday. And now my other favorite man is sitting in front of me,” she says, leaning over Shay’s shoulder, giving him a peck on the check and a backwards hug.

  “That’s great, hon. Wanna come sit down?” I pat my hand on my lap.

  “Best seat in the world,” she says, plopping down in my lap with a thud.

  “Ugh,” I say through gritted teeth. The responding giggle from Elle makes my crushed junk a little more bearable.

  Wrapping his arms around her, I lean around to look at Shay. “So what happened?” he asks.

  “We met with an old security guard who worked at Brightlight,” he says, looking anxiously at Elle. She just smiles at him, letting him know it’s okay to continue. “He was able to tell us that there had been some backhanders going on for a few years. Jobs on the side, mainly protecting Harry while he went to ‘meetings’, but that was it. Wasted a grand on him, too. Then, when the boss called and told us that his money was out of Brightlight…”

  He pauses, looking at Elle again.

  “It’s okay, Shay. Brax told me everything.”

  “Victor asked me to do a favor for him. He wanted to settle one last grudge and bring Brimstone down.” I hear Elle gasp in shock, her body going unusually tense in my lap.

  “How did you do it?” she asks Shay.

  “He simply told me where to get our contact to look. She found at least ten million missing but brace yourself, Elle, because I’m sure the FBI’s forensic accountants will find more,” he states somberly.

  She tenses but relaxes as I sta
rt rubbing my hand in slow circles on her back.

  “His accounts will be frozen now. They should be able to at least recover some of it,” I murmur against her back.

  “I hope so,” she sighs.

  “So what about you two? Anything been happening here?” Devon asks.

  “Apart from the throng of media outside, that’s been about it for us. It has been quiet on all fronts,” I say, giving both Shay and Devon a knowing look because weirdly enough, there hasn’t been anything suspicious since they’ve been gone.

  “Good, good. It might be the calm before the storm, though. You know that.” Shay looks between Elle and I, and his concern is not lost on us. I feel Elle’s body tense, so I wrap my arms around her, reaching for her hands and entwining our fingers. I’m trying to soothe her, to let her know that whatever is coming we’ll face it together. A united front.

  “Any sign of the black Honda?” Shay asks.

  “Not that we can tell. I’ve been watching overnight all week, and I haven’t seen him. Unless he’s changed vehicles, in which case he’s going to be hard to spot.”

  “Well, I’ll take over tonight, and we’ll get Devon doing some walking around the neighborhood. I have a feeling that something is brewing.”

  “I hope for all of our sakes that you’re wrong, man. She’s been through enough,” I say emphatically, giving Elle’s hands a small squeeze of reassurance.

  “On that note, I’m going to go have a shower,” Elle says, letting go of my hands and rising to her feet. “Make yourself at home, boys,” she adds with a grin before walking towards the bedroom.

  Once she’s gone, Devon shifts in his seat so that he’s leaning forward and sitting on the edge of it. “Shay said you met Sylvia?” he asks.

  “Never been more shell shocked in my life. It was fucking unreal.” I’m still shocked.

  “You seeing her again?” Shay interrupts my train of thought.

  “Yeah. We talked about it last night. But, man, I’m glad Elle was here with me because I didn’t exactly handle it well. I got well acquainted with my good friend Jack Daniels. I run my fingers through my hair in frustration. “But I’ve spent too much time wondering why she did what she did and it’s time I moved on from this shit, you know?”

  Devon clears his throat. “I can probably help you piece together some of it if ya want. She was my nanny. Mom hired her after I was born. Until Daddy-o couldn’t keep his fucking dick in his pants and knocked her up with you.”

  I shake my head. Is this why Evans said I didn’t know the whole story? “Why the fuck haven’t you told me this before?” I’m getting riled up now.

  “Because I wasn’t sure what was true and what was bullshit and I was only a kid, so I don’t remember much. But I do remember mom crying a lot and Sylvia suddenly leaving. She should be able to tell you the rest,” Devon explains.

  “That’s what I’m hoping. It’d be nice to leave that part of my life behind me. Know what I mean?”

  “Yeah, man. Those kind of demons can screw with your head. I’m a prime fucking example of that aren’t I?” Shay says. I nod in agreement. It’s very rare that he talks about what happened in his past. In fact, I think I’m the only one who knows the whole story of what went down with his girlfriend Brenna, and that’s because I was right there with him when she died.

  “I’d be in the same boat if you hadn’t saved Elle.”

  “I said I’d be your eyes and ears, B, and I meant it. But about that...since Brimstone is off radar now, what are we gonna do?” Shay asks.

  “Well, I’ll need to check in with Vic, but you know I’m not going anywhere. He can try pulling me off the case, but it won’t happen. We’ve still got Gibbons to sort out, and as much as I don’t wanna go near the prick,” I say, looking at Devon, “I need to get the lay of the land with Evans.”

  “I don’t wanna deal with that fucker either,” Devon mutters under his breath. “But if you want, I’ll have your back. You know that.”

  “We’ll cross that bridge when and if we come to it. Until then, just keep doing what we’ve been doing.”

  They both nod, we don’t need to say anything else. We know what we’ve got to do, keep Elle safe at all costs.

  It’s the last day that Aunt Sylvie is going to be in town. She has a charity dinner to prepare for back in LA, and says that she should really check in on Uncle Harry, even if it is just to play the part of the concerned ex-wife.

  Brax is a nervous wreck. If I thought I fidgeted when I was nervous, I’ve got nothing on Brax. He’s been tapping his foot, bouncing his knee, cracking his knuckles and running his fingers through his already messy hair. We’re waiting for her to arrive at the apartment. The media will have a field day with this, but Brax thought it was better to have them report Sylvie’s presence, than for me to have to face them and all their in-your-face questions myself.

  Just as I’m about to leave my kitchen with some iced tea and sandwiches, my cell phone starts ringing. I answer it without looking at the screen, not even thinking about the fact that I’m supposed to be screening my calls.

  “Hello?” I ask. There is only silence on the other end of the phone.

  “Hello? Are you there?” I hear his heavy breathing. Okay, this is getting weird now.

  “Listen, if you aren’t going to talk, then don’t ring me,” I say forcefully.

  “You’ll get what’s coming Elise. I’ve waited this long to have you. It won’t be long now,” a low, creepy sounding voice announces over the phone before the call abruptly ends.

  I pull the phone away from my ear, seeing “unknown number” staring back at me.

  “Darlin’, what’s happening with-” Brax walks into the room, stopping when he sees me staring at my phone with a grim, confused look on my face. “Elle, what’s wrong?”

  “I just had the creepiest call.”

  His whole body stiffens before he springs into action. “Give me your phone,” he says with his hand outstretched. I place it in his upturned palm and move around his hand to wrap my arms around him, burrowing in close and resting my head on his chest, under his chin.

  “It’s okay, Elle. You’re safe with me,” he says, his brows furrowed. “What did they sound like?”

  “He had a really strange voice. At first it was just heavy breathing down the phone, then he said that he’d been waiting a long time and that he’d see me soon. Brax, this is starting to scare me.

  I’m wound up so tightly. I can’t imagine how I’m going to relax enough to help Brax through Sylvia’s visit. Funny enough, though, I don’t feel the familiar crush in my chest when I have an impending panic attack. I’m shaken, sure, but I feel grounded, somewhat safe now, but only because Brax is by my side.

  “Shay, can you trace a call that was just made to Elle’s cell a few minutes ago? You need any more info from me?........Yeah, it was an unknown number but you never know…..Okay, talk soon. Thanks, man.”

  He moves his hand between our bodies, gently pulling us apart before placing his finger under my chin and lifting my gaze to his. “Shay’s got this, Elle. He’s dealing with that, and I’ve got you. We’re not going to let anyone hurt you again.”

  Gently kissing my lips, he pulls back and smiles. “Now, are you still okay for Sylvia to come over, or shall we postpone?”

  “Brax,” I say, giving him a knowing look. “If you’re not ready, you just need to say so.”

  “Honestly, darlin’, I’m beyond ready. I just want to get past this shit, no, I need to get past it.”

  Then, the intercom buzzer goes off.

  This is it.

  Time to find out how I came to be. Since I was two years old, I’ve always wondering what I did wrong and why my birth mother chose to abandon me to the foster care system. If it wasn’t for Mom and Dad adopting me, there is no way that I would be the same man today. But hey, don’t they say that your past doesn’t have to dictate your future?

  Elle gives me a final quick kiss for good luck, “I
t’ll be fine, Brax. You’ll see,” she says encouragingly before walking towards the intercom and releasing the downstairs door lock.

  I carry the food and drink into the living room, setting them up on the coffee table before sitting down on the couch. Elle goes outside onto the landing to meet Sylvia; probably trying to prepare her for the emotional get together that is about to take place.

  She walks in and immediately locks her eyes on me. Her eyes are the same as the ones I’ve seen in my own reflection for the past twenty seven years. They’re identical to mine, along with her dark brown hair. It’s crazy and mind bending, like a piece of the Brax James puzzle just snapped back into place after being missing for so long.

  “Hi, Braxton,” she says warmly, a mournful smile caressing her face. I can tell that she’s just as unsure about this as I am. In a way, that pisses me off.

  “It’s Brax,” I say stoically. Fuck, this is already screwing with my head more than I thought it would. Seeing the woman who brought me into this world for the second time in two days is too much. Pull yourself together, man!

  “Take a seat, Aunt Sylvie. Would you like a drink?” Elle asks, cutting through the awkward tension that has suddenly engulfed the room.

  “Thank you, Elle. That would be lovely,” she replies.

  Elle puts her hand on my shoulder as she walks past, giving a supportive squeeze; her way of letting me know she’s here for me. God, I love this woman.

  “I don’t know what to say,” Sylvia begins. “I’ve been thinking about this moment for the last twenty-five years. There is so much to explain.”

  “How about you start from the beginning,” I say quietly, willing my voice not to crack. Fuck, this is more emotional than I thought it would me. I need to take a concrete pill and harden the fuck up!

  “Well, I met your father when I was employed as your brother Devon’s nanny when he was first born. He was such a sweet little boy, too. Everything was going fine until Michael Evans seduced me. I fell in love with that man overnight. He was powerful and debonair, yet caring and sweet to me. I was so naïve that I believed everything he told me,” she says, reminiscing.