Love in the Time of Zombies

by Cassandra Gannon

  “At least your hands weren’t chained.” Caleb retorted, holding up his cuffed wrists. “I swear to Christ, I’m going to kick Joseff’s ass for this. Oh, and yours.” He nodded towards Zeke. “Darcy’s right. That helicopter might’ve come in handy, genius. Now, it’s at the bottom of that lake.”

  “It was the best I could do on the landing.” Zeke snapped. The pet carrier was looped over his shoulder and, inside, Pucci was furiously trying to clean her soggy fur. “I didn’t hear anyone else volunteering to pilot it.”

  “I did.” Darcy reminded him. She didn’t know how to fly a helicopter, but she’d been eager to try. Any kind of machine delighted her.

  Cale snorted. “You drive like a maniac on the roads, I’m sure not going to trust you in the sky. Besides, Zeke was the one with Amelia Earhart talking in his ear.”

  “Well, she’s not talking in my ear, now.” Zeke’s face was grim. He’d been tense and brooding ever since he’d lost contact with Scotlyn right before takeoff.

  Darcy knew exactly how he felt.

  Both of them wanted their mates back and were willing to do whatever it took to make it happen. Once she found Joseff, she planned to make sure he never left her sight again. She’d given him plenty of time to figure things out on his own and seduce her like any reasonable mate would, but he was determined to be a moron.

  Obviously, Darcy would have to take charge. Left to his own devises, Joseff did brilliant things like get himself kidnapped by humans.

  “We should be getting out of here.” Brewer whined. “Didn’t you say the girl told you to forget about her, Z? We leave behind anyone who can’t keep up. That’s pack rules.” He’d been complaining about this trip nonstop. If it were up to Brew, they’d be halfway to Mexico, by now.

  But, still he stuck around.

  The four of them had made their way across the golf course, thorough a shitload of zombies, to the reach the parking structure of the Coney Island. The damn thing was a seven story cement nightmare, but the cars helped conceal their movements and the third level led directly into the casino. It was the best point of access.

  Except Darcy had no idea how to actually access it.

  Two armed men were guarding the glass door. There was no way passed them without getting shot. Since Joseff was trapped on the other side, she was going to have to think of something, though. No one was keeping Darcy from her mate. Especially not these plastic wrapped zealots. Various human nut jobs were always waging war on the supernatural, but these jerkoffs were way more organized than most. They’d taken it to another whole level of crazy.

  “If you want to go go.” Zeke snarled at Brewer. He peered around the edge of an SUV towards the casino entrance. “But if you do, you’re going alone. I’m not leaving Scotlyn, Darcy’s not leaving Joseff, and Cale’s staying with us.”

  Darcy was shocked Zeke was still on his feet, given he was coming off of two back-to-back Changes. Most other shifters would still be unconscious if they tried that without a full moon. Or they’d be dead. The guy was pale and drawn and about to keel over, but he just wouldn’t quit. Pretty impressive for the shiftless dreamer of the pack.

  “Why the hell should Cale stay with you two?” Brewer complained. “He’s got no dog in this fight. He should come with me. If you live, we’ll meet up with you idiots south of the boarder.”

  Darcy snorted. “He’s staying with us, Brew.” She agreed. “You think we’re going to hand him over to your care while he’s in those cuffs? First sign of trouble, you’d leave him for dead.”

  Caleb shot Darcy and Zeke a surprised look, as if he hadn’t expected them to care.

  “I would not!” Brewer denied indignantly. “Cale and me are in this together. I’m part of a team with him and Joseff, in fact.”

  “My Joseff?” Darcy scoffed. “The Joseff who you want to abandon here to die? He joined a team with you?” Somehow she doubted that.

  “Well, we were still negotiating the roster when Joseff jumped off the balcony.” Brewer admitted. “I think he was convinced to join us, though.”

  “There is no us.” Zeke snapped. “There’s us and there’s you. You’re not on the team.”

  Brew scowled at him. “Am too. It’s my job to look out for you little turds. I’m the oldest. Now, if you wanna get in there to rescue your mates, we should do it someplace less guarded.”

  “We don’t have time.” Darcy insisted. “We have to get in there now. God only knows what those humans are doing to Joseff.” She was trying not to think about it, but the possibilities were pecking at her brain like crows.

  “How did the humans even find us?” Caleb asked no one in particular. “I’ll believe they invented the pink zombie gas. Humans are good at that science shit. But, the raid on the casino was awfully systematized for them. It was like they knew just how to attack us.”

  “Does it matter how they did it? I just want to get my mate.” Darcy tried to focus. “Okay, here’s how we’re going to do this: First, we’re going to kill the guards. Then, we’re going to dress in their uniforms, so no one sees us walking in there. Then, I’m going to find Joseff. Z, you’re going to find Scottie. Caleb, you steal us a getaway car and look for tools to cut those off.” She nodded to his cuffs. “Then, we meet back here and get the hell out of town. We good with that?”

  “Nice plan.” Zeke nodded. “Kinda like A New Hope.”

  “I know. Star Wars can teach you anything.”

  Caleb ignored them and craned his neck up peer at the humans over the hood of the SUV. “Did Luke Skywalker have any tips on how to take out armed guards from twenty yards away? ‘Cause, all our weapons sank.”

  Brewer scowled at them. “Assholes.” He reached up to open the passengers’ side door of the pickup behind him. Popping the glove compartment, he came up with a silver revolver right out of a Wyatt Earp film. “We’re in goddamn Nevada.” He reminded them. “Everybody in this state has a gun in their truck.” Standing up, he went stalking towards the glass doors of the casino entrance. “Don’t shoot!” He frantically called. “I’m a harmless human!”

  Darcy’s eyes went wide. “Brewer. Get back here.”

  The two guards quickly spotted him. Pushing their way through the glass door, they charged across the parking lot. “Get on the ground! Get on the ground!” They ordered, brandishing their weapons.

  “Shit!” Zeke started after Brewer, preparing to tackle him before the men could open fire. He might snap at Brew, but he had a soft spot for the guy. They all did.

  Caleb caught hold of Zeke’s sleeve, keeping him down. “Brew’s got this.” He said confidently. “It’s the same trick he used to get us into that Rolling Stones concert when you were fifteen.”

  “I’m being chased by zombies!” Brewer shouted, still striding forward. “You boys have to help me! I’m a frail senior citizen and there’s too many of them! They’re right behind me! Shoot ‘em! Quick! Shoot ‘em!”

  The two men took their attention off Brew, scanning the aisles of cars for an invasion of the undead… Which was the last mistake they ever made.

  The instant they looked away, Brewer lifted the gun and casually shot both men straight through their helmets. He didn’t hesitate. Didn’t slow his steps. He just shot them before they had a chance to react. The two men fell to the pavement, still clutching their weapons and poised for a zombie attack.

  Caleb, Zeke, and Darcy slowly stood up to survey the carnage.

  Brew nodded sagely. “Yep… I coulda been an actor, except I like fucking women.” He turned to arch a brow at them. “So, I got you your uniforms. And some guns. And cleared your access point.” He smirked at Zeke. “Told ya I was part of the team.”

  ***

  The plastic clown stared at Joseff.

  Joseff stared back at the plastic clown.

  This was not how he’d pictured his death. For one thing, Joseff had always assumed it would be on a glorious battlefield. There would probably be some backstabbing shifters involved, of cour
se. And it would no doubt come as a result of rescuing Darcy from some insane disaster. Obviously, it would all lead to Joseff going out in a blaze of glory worthy of an unconquered king. Then, would come the inevitable statues in his honor and maybe a vampiric holiday to commemorate the fateful date.

  All in all, in his head, it had seemed very dignified and not so DayGlo.

  Joseff had clearly been far too harsh with the Liberty Hall casino. The Ben Franklin shaped soap didn’t seem nearly so atrocious now that he was chained in the middle of a nightclub called “Clownz.” Everywhere on every surface, there were clowns. Laughing clowns, sad clowns, scary clowns, and clowns with creepy, too-wide smiles. They were painted on the walls. They were statues. They were on the upholstery of the chairs.

  Usually, the space was illuminated with black lights, so everything was pained in iridescent oranges, yellows, and greens. That made it all the worse. The painfully bright colors and the balloon shaped chandeliers and aquariums full of clown fish…

  He was going to die in Bozo’s bordello.

  Joseff checked his watch. It was difficult to do when he was manacled to the wall with his hands stretched over his head, but he really wanted to speed this along. If he was doomed to perish in such an ignominious spot, he just wanted to get it over with already. Although, he did have to wonder if the iron chains had been in the nightclub before the zombie apocalypse just to keep the patrons from fleeing the horror. They were situated around the room, ready to hold prisoners, but Joseff was the only one there, at present.

  Well, not the only one…

  “At last we meet, vampire,” said the dickhead human in front of him. “It’s been a long time coming, hasn’t it?”

  Joseff arched a brow. “Kid, I have no idea who you are.” He said honestly.

  The human scowled. He was in his thirties, with brown goatee and an outfit straight out of Idiot’s Surplus. There were a half-dozen weapons draped around his torso, his protective suit sealed tight against even the tiniest dust mote. Whatever that white plastic was made of, it stopped Joseff from mind controlling the humans into releasing him. He’d already tried.

  “I’m Marcus Conners.” The human snapped, as if his name meant something. Apparently, he thought he was important enough that Joseff should recognize him. Gods only knew why.

  Joseff was coming up empty.

  “I’m Marcus Conners.” Marcus Conners repeated when Joseff just gazed at him blankly. “General of the AHA.”

  “…Alright.” Joseff shrugged and gave up trying to place the asshole. “If that’s some kind of home owners’ association, I should tell you I rent.”

  “It stands for All Human Army, you disgusting monster. We’ve dedicated our lives to wiping out the plague of supernatural vermin.”

  Joseff snorted. “Well, you picked a good week for it. I suggest you start with the zombies.”

  Marcus leaned closer to him. “You fool. We’re the ones who created the zombies.”

  Oh.

  Well, that solved that mystery. Joseff had known that pink gas was beyond the shifters’ skillset. He still felt like he was missing something, though. “Any particular reason you ended the world. Marcus?”

  “We’re saving the world from creatures like you. You and the shifters and the sirens are far more dangerous than the zombies could ever dream of.”

  “I don’t think the statistics will bear that out. Especially with the sirens. Half the strippers in Vegas are sirens and they barely kill anyone.”

  “Vampires.” Marcus hissed. “They’re murderers. You are a murderer. That’s why I had standing orders that you weren’t to be killed. I want to look into your eyes as you die, so you’ll know that I had my vengeance for Grandma Patsie.”

  Christ, it was like torture only boring. “Who?”

  Marcus developed a faraway look. “I was seven years old when it all happened. I came home from little league and found Grandma drained on the living room floor.” His pulled a woken stake from the loop on his belt, holding it up in his best Van Helsing pose. “That day, I vowed revenge on the vampires. No matter what I had to do or who I had to work with, I pledged to dedicate my life to wiping out all supernatural vermin.”

  “So you’ve said.” Joseff sighed. “I don’t suppose you’ll care, but I doubt I killed your grandmother. I don’t leave bodies lying around.”

  “It doesn’t matter. With their king dead, the vampires will be broken. They’ll finally be finished.”

  “More likely, they’ll just get another king.” Joseff was a realist. “Look, can we speed this along or should I just kill myself?”

  Marcus punched him. Repeatedly. His fist pounded into Joseff’s face again and again.

  It was still better than listening to him talk, though.

  In a frenzy, the human reared back. He lifted the stake, preparing to sink it into Joseff’s chest. Joseff braced himself. This wasn’t the death he’d anticipated, but the most important part of his plan had been fulfilled and that was all that mattered. He’d protected Darcy. His mate was safe and his last thoughts in this world would be of her. He had no regrets, at all.

  Except for not sleeping with her.

  Fuck, that had been a huge mistake. If he had a second chance, he would do whatever it took to convince her that he could be her mate…

  Bang.

  The loud report of a gunshot echoed in the nightclub, cutting off Joseff’s final contemplations. Marcus paused, the stake still raised to strike… Then, he slowly keeled over. His entire body collapsed into a heap, the wooden spike rolling free. In the side of his neck there was a neat bullet hole. Someone had just killed the guy trying to kill him.

  Joseff blinked, his gaze slowly moving to the doorway where a person in a spacesuit stood with a smoking gun. “If this going to lead to another story about a dead grandmother, you can just shoot me, too.”

  “My grandmother died in the French Revolution, dipshit.” Darcy pushed back her helmet to arch a brow at him. “She took out fifty-four peasants and a priest before they beheaded her.”

  Joseff smiled, his heart swelling. He had his second chance. “I remember Yvette.” He got out. “Lovely woman. Although not a lovely as her granddaughter.”

  “Anyone with a rescue plan would look lovely to you, right now.” Darcy shut the door behind her and stepped into the nightclub. Topaz eyes drifted around the room. “Holy clowns. No wonder I never came to this bar.”

  “Imagine how I feel. I almost died with them gawking at me.” Joseff tried to keep his voice level, but it was hard. He was torn between staggering joy that she was standing in front of him and annoyance that she’d put herself at risk. “What are you doing here, Darcia?”

  “I took a wrong turn at the Flamingo. What the hell do you think I’m doing here?” She headed over to Marcus and started stripping the plastic suit off of his body.

  Joseff frowned as she pocked the human’s keys. “Unchain me.”

  “In a sec.” Darcy piled Marcus’ white suit to the side. “Right now, I’m collecting this stylish new outfit for you. Then, we can talk.” There was a bullet hole in her own plastic helmet, so he could guess how she’d “borrowed” it.

  “I don’t want to talk. I want you to unchain me.”

  “It doesn’t really matter what you want, does it? Right now we’re doing what I want. We’ve done things your way years and this is where it’s gotten us. You chained to a wall, a dead body on the ground, and a truckload of clowns.”

  “You think we’ve done things my way?” Joseff echoed. “Are you out of your mind?” If he’d had a vote, they’d have been making love in a Swiss hunting lodge for the past decade.

  “I am taking control, because you can’t stop being a doofus.” Darcy dragged Marcus’ naked body towards the back room. “Deal with it.”

  Joseff rolled his eyes. The woman really was delusional. She’d been in control since the moment they met. “How is any of this my fault?”

  “First, you kidnapped me, then y
ou ignored me, and then you got yourself kidnapped.” Once she hid Marcus, Darcy came stalking back into the main lounge area. “I’m just saying, the way you keep causing drama is a little attention whore-y for a king. Is the zombageddon stealing your spotlight or something?”

  “I’ve never ignored you.” He’d tried, but every second of every day, Darcy was on his mind.

  “Really?” Because I seem to recall me begging you not jump down that stairwell and you doing it anyway.” She jabbed a finger at him and he tried not to stare at the erotic red nail polish. For a woman who worked on car engines all day, she had such beautiful hands. “That’s pretty clearly ignoring me, Joseff.”

  “I was trying to protect you.”

  “Great job with that.” She paused meaningfully. “Hey, which of us is chained to a wall and which of us is here to save his cute ass?”

  “Did you come here… to rescue me?” He didn’t dare believe that, but it seemed to be what she was implying.

  She sent him an odd look. “What do you think?”

  “Zeke’s human was kidnapped, too.” He suggested. “You may have come for her. Getting her back is paramount. Her blood is very…”

  Darcy cut him off. “Yeah, bad news about that. Z Changed her into a shifter.”

  Joseff groaned, his head going back to smack against the wall. Well, that was just fucking typical. Give those lack-wits something valuable and they squandered it.

  “He didn’t have a choice.” Darcy assured him, seeing Joseff’s frustration. “She was bitten by a zombie and it was the only way to save her.”

  “Her blood was going to keep us alive.” Joseff pointed out. “Without humans, the only way the vampire species is going to survive is to feed on our mates.”

  “So we’ll find mates, then.”

  He couldn’t meet her eyes. “It won’t be that easy. Many vampires will have to compromise. They’ll have to accept any suitable candidate, even if they aren’t exactly the one they might have wished for.”