Magic of the Wood House

by Cassandra Gannon

  Sullivan didn’t understand most of that jabbering, but the idea that he’d live to see ninety-three stuck him as darkly funny. Shit. That would be just his luck.

  “Since when do you care about Council law?” Teja snapped at her cousin.

  Djinn piously pursed his lips. “I didn’t Phaze with Pele until she was of age. I would never dream of taking advantage of my Match’s innocence.”

  Pele shot him a sideways look. “You were only ninety-one when we Phazed, D.”

  “Nobody could prove that at the trial!” He shot back. “And ninety-one sure isn’t thirty-goddamn-five. All I’m saying is that Teja should give up on Sullivan and save us all the trouble. You think Job will let her molest that boy?”

  “You think Job can tell me what I can do with my own Match?” Teja retorted.

  Sullivan was compiling his own “Weirdo-to-English” dictionary and he was fairly certain “Match” was like their word for boyfriend/girlfriend. He looked over at Teja in surprise. “Hang on, what’s this really about?”

  She rubbed at her forehead. “It’s about what I’m supposed to do with you.”

  “You’re supposed to take me home.”

  “Not until you give us the box.” Djinn insisted.

  Pele nodded. “Just give us the box, before you get hurt, boy.”

  Sullivan ground his teeth together. “What box?! You people keep saying that, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  Djinn sighed like Sullivan was being deliberately obtuse. “Tej? You see? You see why you should throw him back and keep looking for a better Match? A bunch of Banished Phases turned up in the Cloudland. Some --like-- awesomely badass ones, who aren’t children, or Wood Phases, or humans. Why don’t you try Phazing with one of them?”

  Teja slanted her cousin another patented scowl and headed over to stand against the wall, again.

  Sullivan’s eyes narrowed at Djinn. Piecing that together, it seemed like that bastard was encouraging Teja to have sex with some other guy. Oh hell no. His instincts snarled at the very idea.

  “I think you should shut up, now.” Sullivan said quietly, spacing the words for emphasis.

  Djinn glanced at him appraisingly

  Sullivan held his gaze. “Don’t push me.” He warned. “I’ve been exuding holiday cheer so far, but this isn’t the day to get on my bad side.”

  Djinn’s mouth curved. “Well shit. There is some of Parson in you, isn’t there?”

  “The box is one of the Tablets of Fate.” Alder interjected, trying to defuse the tension. He pulled his attention away from making a perfectly symmetrical “C” on the plastic screen of his Etch-A-Sketch. “You shouldn’t be playing around with those Tablets, Sully. Let the grown-ups handle them.”

  Sullivan somehow resisted the urge to break the stupid toy over his head.

  “The rumor going around is that you have the Happiness Tablet.” Alder continued. “We need you to give it to us, before more assassins come after you. For real, there are a lot of bad guys who will do bad things to get that box.”

  Sullivan was still drawing a blank, but the others were all watching him expectantly. “I’m not happy.” He said without even thinking about it. “If I had a box that could make me happy, it’s busted.”

  Teja glanced his way, her eyebrows tugging together.

  “No.” Alder shook his head. “You’re not getting it. The Happiness Tablet doesn’t make you happy. It controls Happiness. I guess it could let you steal someone’s Happiness or…” He trailed off with a considering frown. “Well, maybe you could give someone Happiness with it. I don’t know. Dad?” He glanced over at Djinn. “How do you think it works?”

  Djinn shrugged. “Who cares? I’m already plenty happy. I just want the damn thing so nobody else gets it.”

  “Supernatural peer pressure.” Sullivan translated. “Right. Well, I don’t have your mystical do-hickey. So, if that’s all…”

  “You must have it.” Alder interrupted. “It’s about the size of a Rubik’s Cube, made of mirrors with white writing on all the sides.”

  Djinn nodded. “Your grandfather hid it and everyone thinks that he gave it you. Parson had to have --like-- stressed that it was important or something. Think. Where did you put it?”

  Sullivan ran a hand through his hair. “My grandfather died when I was a kid. The only things he gave me were Hot Wheels cars. After he died, I got a storage container filled with Christmas lights and an insurance check. If he left some incredibly important, shiny box with me, I don’t remember it. And that’s the truth.”

  “Told you.” Teja chimed in.

  Pele studied Sullivan for a long moment and then swore. “Djinn? I don’t think the human has the Tablet. He’s not bright enough to lie that convincingly.”

  Sullivan and Teja both turned to scowl at her.

  “Oh man…” Djinn pinned Sullivan with an aggrieved look. “All this and you don’t even have the box?!” He sounded like Sullivan had intentionally misled them. “Bad human! Bad!”

  “I told you from the beginning that I didn’t have it.” Sullivan snapped. “And stop talking to me like I’m a schnauzer.”

  “He gets dogs and human mixed up.” Alder explained. “It’s nothing personal.”

  “They fucking look alike!”

  Alder ignored Djinn’s indignant assertion. “Anyhow, whoever started the rumor about you having the box was really convincing, Sully. Bad folks are gonna keep coming for it. Who would put this motion? You got enemies you’ve been hiding from us?”

  “No one cares enough about me to be my enemy.”

  “I’ll be your enemy.” Djinn volunteered.

  Teja’s eyes flicked over to him. “Watch it, D.”

  He held up his hands in innocence. “I’m just trying to show that I care.”

  “What about Vandal?” Pele asked Sullivan. “He’s your enemy.”

  “Vandals?” It was hard to keep track of the various conversations. They all talked right over the others. “I’ve arrested some vandals for graffiti, but I don’t think they’re my enemies so much as they’re just dickhead teens who drank too much PBR and…”

  “No.” Alder interrupted. “Not human vandals. Vandal, of the Light House.”

  Sullivan stared at him blankly.

  “He’s a black-eyed fugitive in a white robe.” Pele prompted. “Until a few weeks ago, we all thought he was dead. But, then he showed up and started shooting folks with that gun he gave you. It’s from the future.”

  “The future.” Sullivan’s eyes just couldn’t roll hard enough.

  “Yes!” Djinn’s head bobbed up and down in vehement agreement. “Guns from this time don’t hurt Elementals, genius. So someone brought back a future weapon and gave it to Vandal, who gave it to you.”

  Sullivan decided to respond to the least stupid part of that statement. “No one ‘gave’ me the gun, alright? I found it.” He paused. “I think.”

  Teja frowned. “You seriously don’t remember where you got it?”

  “No. The night you came to my house,” he shot her a pointed look, both of them remembering the kiss they’d shared, “I went back to the station to release Alder from lock-up. Everything after that is a blank. I woke up the next morning with frostbitten fingers and the gun in my waistband.”

  Her jaw ticked. “Frostbite?”

  “The fucking Cold House!” Djinn shouted triumphantly. “They did this! They went after our human because they hate us! I knew it was them!”

  Sullivan frowned. “Wait, who hates you? Well, obviously many people must, but…”

  Pele glanced over at him. “Cold Phases don’t like Fire Phases.” She said like a kindergarten teacher explaining to the class why they shouldn’t talk to strangers at the mall.

  “They’re all after us.” Djinn agreed with paranoid enthusiasm. “They tried to steal Teja, you know.” He nodded. “When her parents died, they tried to make her leave us and go with them. But, they don’t love her. They just want her,
because she’s powerful.” He arched a brow. “Like one-of-the-most-powerful-Phases-alive powerful. She was nothing but a prize for them.”

  Of everything they’d told him so far, that was the least surprising revelation. Sullivan was already convinced that Teja was the most magical creature ever born. The woman just glowed. He wasn’t sure what to do about the fact she fascinated him… except try not to embarrass himself by staring.

  Teja clearly wasn’t comfortable with Djinn disclosing that she had an extra dose of superpowers. “Sullivan doesn’t need to hear your Cold Kingdom conspiracy theories, D.” She began in irritation. “Eian and Freya wouldn’t target an innocent human…”

  “It’s not a conspiracy if somebody’s legit plotting against you.” Djinn argued. “And everyone’s always plotting against me. It’s because I’m so damn heroic.”

  “I swear to Christ, if you bring up your bizarre vendetta against that cow…”

  “That cow is goddamn evil, Tej!”

  “Frigging cow.” Alder shook his head in disgust. “She’ll get hers.” He set to work on the Etch-A-Sketch “K,” concentrating on retracing the lines as closely as possible so the word “fuck” was legible. “Anyhow, Eian and his sister, Freya, are Teja’s cousins on her dad’s side.”

  Teja rubbed her forehead. “Sullivan doesn’t want to hear about this, Alder.” She repeated, which meant she didn’t want to hear about it. Which meant Sullivan was suddenly interested in hearing about it.

  “Sure he does!” Alder insisted.

  “Sure I do.” Sullivan agreed. “So Teja’s paternal relatives are even worse than you guys are, huh?” He was sorry to hear that, but it explained a lot. “You poor girl. No wonder you’re so hostile all the time.”

  Teja flicked him off.

  Sullivan nearly chuckled.

  “I’ll break this down for you in human-ese, human. There’s the Fire Phases.” Djinn gave a thumbs up sign with one hand. “We’re goooood.” He drew out the word like he was trying to communicate information to a basset hound with a low IQ. “And then there’s the Cold House.” He gave a thumbs down with the other hand. “They’re baaaaad.” He nodded with exaggerated slowness. “And I’m telling you, those douchebags are behind your whole mini-amnesia thing. Right, Pey?”

  “Yep.”

  “See?” Djinn waved a hand as if Pele’s vote settled the matter. “The Cold Phases are always looking for ways to target me.” He slung one leg over the arm of his chair. “God, they are so petty. They just won’t let it go”

  “Except, the Cold Phases didn’t allegedly give you amnesia.” Sullivan pointed out. “They allegedly gave it to me.” Dear God, he really just said that gibberish like the words meant something.

  “Don’t make this all about yourself, human.” Djinn sighed like Tony Montana forever pondering why he was so misunderstood. “Let’s focus on how Eian’s unfairly targeting my House. That’s what important here. It’s ‘cause I’m a better cousin, and a better king, and way better looking.” He counted off those points of comparison on his fingers. “Meanwhile, Eian’s got no Match, no kids, bad hair…”

  “Tragic fucking hair.” Pele lamented.

  “I know.” Djinn gave a sad shake of his head. “The list goes on and on. The guy’s totally insecure about the fact that he sucks and he blames me for it. It’s like a Freudian thing, I think.”

  “Also you beat him up that time.” Pele volunteered. “It was way hot.”

  “The point is, you can’t ever trust a Cold Phase, Sully.” Alder instructed just in case Sullivan still didn’t understand that the Fire Phases were inexplicably cast as the white hats in this soap opera. “They’re evil.”

  “Don’t worry. I don’t trust any of you.” Sullivan assured them.

  Teja made a face. “The Cold Phases aren’t evil. They’re just boring scientists with a superiority complex.” She turned back to Sullivan. “And what do you mean you don’t trust us?” She sounded annoyed again. Or possibly still.

  “I don’t trust anyone. It cuts way down on the problems in my life.”

  She didn’t seem satisfied with that answer. “But, I’m your Match. You have to trust me. It’s part of the whole deal.”

  “I never agreed to any deal.” He was getting tired of being told what he had to do. “Look, maybe you’re right about all this bullshit. Maybe there’s a box that steals happiness…”

  “There is.” Alder hesitated. “At least, we think that’s what it does.” He held up the Etch-a-Sketch so they could all read the squiggly vulgarity. “Ta-da!”

  Sullivan kept going. “Maybe my grandfather hid it somewhere in Mayport.”

  “He did.” Pele assured him. “Parson would’ve kept it close.”

  “Maybe some mutant war is raging around me.”

  “We’re not mutants!” Djinn shouted.

  Sullivan disregarded all their commentary, his eyes on Teja. “But, I don’t care about any of that.” He finished firmly. “I don’t want any part of this asylum. Not the box, not the ‘Phases,’ not you.” He refused to be fooled by her beauty and magic. “Hell, keep the gun, if you’re so fascinated with it. It doesn’t matter to me. I’m not one of you weirdoes and I’m not getting mixed up in your weirdo games. I just want to go home.”

  She frowned. “But, it might not be safe to…”

  He cut her off. “Take me home, Teja, or I’ll figure out a way to get there myself.”

  She studied him for a beat and then let out a sigh. “We really need to talk.” She glanced over at her family. “Alone.”

  Chapter Five

  From one to the other side did leap and dart,

  From heat to cold, from cold to heat again:

  And not an instant through their anguish great,

  In either element might they remain.

  Richard Watson Dixon- “Mano”

  Christmas Eve Afternoon

  “This isn’t going to do any good.” Sullivan muttered as Teja hustled him into her bedroom. “I don’t see what else you and I have to discuss. You’re crazy. I’m not. Let’s just…” He trailed off and looked around her room. “Hey.” He sounded surprised. “It’s almost normal in here.”

  Teja automatically followed his gaze. She was used to seeing her bedroom, since she’d basically had it decorated the same way since the mid-1930s. The straight, asymmetrical lines of the rosewood furniture appealed to her. So did the champagne colored walls, the Art Deco mirror over her dresser, and black and white architectural prints on the walls. Unlike the rest of the Fire Fortress, there were only a limited number of swords and axes around. Very few people had ever been inside the space.

  Seeing Sullivan standing in the middle of her sanctuary was actually a little unnerving, now that Teja took a second to process it. This was the only place she could be sure was private, though. Fire Phases were notorious snoops. Her family had most of the fortress under various forms of video and audio surveillance so they could spy on each other.

  Teja shut the door behind her. “You sound surprised. What kind of room did you expect me to have?”

  “Well, no offense, but the rest of your house looks like a set from Robin Hood Meets Dracula. So, this is a welcomed departure.” He headed over to look out the picture window as if he was determined to focus at anything but her. Little squares of red stained glass boarded the edges, with the Greek symbol for Fire in their center. Sullivan stared out over the smoldering landscape for a beat and then grunted. “As long as you don’t look outside, anyway. Seriously, what do you do when those volcanoes erupt?”

  “Stop them, obviously.”

  Sullivan looked at her sharply, like he thought that was a joke. Teja couldn’t imagine why. Surely, he didn’t think they’d let lava cover the entire the kingdom. It would be a mess.

  Sullivan shook his head and moved to investigate the rest of the room. Stopping by her dresser, he picked up a framed daguerreotype of Pele and Djinn smiling proudly at a baby. Teja had the fleeting thought that if a live ra
ttlesnake had been in front of him Sullivan would have picked it up, too. Anything to keep from looking at her.

  “That photo was taken when Missy was born.” Teja volunteered, although she wasn’t sure why. “She’s their daughter.” Teja didn’t bother to point out the hundred and fifty year old photographic medium or the Little Women style hoopskirt Pele wore. Sullivan had to have noticed.

  He set the frame aside without saying anything and picked up another one.

  Oberon at Disney World.

  Teja’s lips pressed together. Her grandfather was standing in front of Cinderella’s Castle, a smirk on his face and Mickey Mouse ears on his head. He had one arm around slung around a cast member dressed like Elsa from Frozen, while giving a peace sign with the other hand. Oberon always celebrated his birthday at the Magic Kingdom. He’d been banned from at least half the rides and kicked out of every hotel on property for his wild partying.

  Oberon loved Disney.

  Sullivan held up the picture. “Boyfriend?”

  “Grandfather.”

  Sullivan tilted the frame around so it faced him again and eyed the photo skeptically. Elementals didn’t age at a human rate. Oberon had been nine hundred and forty when he died, but he’d still looked like a human in his thirties. A handsome human with black hair, thick eyebrows, and a devil may care twinkle in his dark eyes.

  “Grandfather?” Sullivan snorted. “Sure he is.”

  Teja could freeze out a lot, but Oberon was one topic that she could never fully ignore. “That’s my grandfather, Oberon, of the Fire House.” She stated in a flat tone. “He’s dead, now.”

  Sullivan glanced at her. Whatever he saw on her face must have convinced him that she was telling the truth, because he nodded. “I’m sorry.” He sounded sincere. “How did it happen?”

  She let out a long, shuddering breath and searched for words that would convey only a sanitized portion of the awful truth. Teja didn’t want Sullivan to hear about this. It seemed… unclean and he was such an innocent man. “There was a disease called the Fall. It was like the human plague. Two years ago, it killed countless Elementals.”