***
Christmas Morning: Five Hours into the Investigation
Job stared at Qadesh.
Qadesh stared at Job.
“We’ve been in here for forty minutes.” Job finally prompted. “Are you planning to stay silent forever?”
Qadesh’s expression didn’t change, which Job took to mean “yes.”
The Fire House’s resident assassin was slouched down in the chair, his steel-toed boots flat on the floor. No one had even suggested disarming him, so Qadesh had an arsenal strapped to his body. If they’d been trying to identify a criminal using nothing but mug-shots, Djinn and Pele’s oldest child would’ve been the first one picked from the lineup. Job was also fairly sure you could take an axe to the guy and you wouldn’t break him.
Aside from Teja and Kingu, though, Qadesh was the most logical member of his insane family. Granted, with the Fire Phases, the bar was set low, but Qadesh was at least able to focus for more than three seconds at a time. It was impossible to know what he was thinking, since he barely spoke, but at least he was thinking.
“Do you have any idea where someone could’ve found a weapon like that?” Job tried. Until he found Teja, this lunatic was his best hope for some straight answers. “How did it even get to this realm?”
Qadesh crossed his arms over his chest, his face distant and unreadable.
Job sighed. “A lot of people think the Fire House is guilty.” That was a massive understatement. The majority of the Council already wanted Job’s resignation because he refused to convict the Fire Phases without a trial. Eian was rallying them to gather pitchforks and torches. “I want to prove that you’re innocent. I believe that you’re innocent.”
Pele was right. If the Fire Phases had actually set this madness into motion, the death rolls would’ve been like something out of the battle of Antietam. No one would have walked away from the Cold Kingdom alive. The huge number of survivors meant that someone far less ruthless had been behind this. Or at least less criminally talented.
“I want to know who really attacked the Cold Phases.” He insisted.
All he got in response was a slow-mo blink.
Job played his trump card. “And I don’t want to see Hope upset.”
The Fire House had adopted Hope when she was an infant. The cherubic blonde fit into their family like a butterfly fluttering around with vampire bats, but she was everyone’s favorite. Anything that upset Hope died bloody at the hands of her overprotective relatives.
Qadesh’s opaque blue gaze sharpened at the mention of his honorary little sister.
“She’s shouting to anyone who will listen that you’re innocent. Your job is to prove her right.” Job pressed. “If you’re Banished, who’s going to help her raise her daughter?”
Qadesh’s head tilted ever so slightly. Hope’s pregnancy had captivated the entire Fire House. They already had a nursery decorated with pythons and a mobile full of severed ears awaiting the infant’s arrival. They would never allow anything to take them away from that baby.
“Kingu is my nephew.” Job reminded him, seeing that he had Qadesh’s attention. “So, I’ll be there for Hope and her child.” Kingu was Hope’s Match. That sort of made Job related to the Fire Phases, a fact which often woke him up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. “But, it’ll be hard on Hope to be without her family for the rest of her life.” He pretended to have an idea. “Maybe her daughter can come and live in the Earth Kingdom. Kingu and Hope, too, of course. Tessie would like that. They can learn our ways and become Earth Phases.”
Qadesh’s jaw ticked.
Job felt a surge of triumph. Finally, they were getting somewhere. “But, really, that’s not what any of us wants, is it? Certainly not Hope. And the last thing I want to do is Banish Kingu’s in-laws. Do you have any idea what Tessie would do to me if I broke-up her nephew’s family?”
Tessie might be Job’s Match, but divine beings stuck together. Ever since they’d stopped feuding with each other, Tessie and Kingu had been bonding. Tessie was the most important part of Job’s world and Kingu had turned out to be a constant source of delight. He loved them both beyond all barriers.
But when they teamed up, it was brutal.
“The second Hope starts crying, Kingu’s going to start beheading people.” Job pointed out. “He’s already thrown Abram, of the Wood House through a metal filing cabinet. Do you think I need these kinds of problems in my life?” He ran a hand through his hair. “Why don’t you just cooperate for two seconds and tell me where Teja and Sullivan are?”
Qadesh smirked, as if that question struck him as darkly humorous. “Don’t you watch the news?” He leaned closer to Job over the width of the table, strange blue eyes glowing with an unholy light. “They were in the Cold Kingdom when the bomb went off.”
Chapter Eight
"Yes, you may be sure that the stairs are fire-proof,” said Mr. Grewgious, “and that any outbreak of the devouring element would be perceived and suppressed by the watchmen."
Charles Dickens- “The Mystery of Edwin Drood”
Christmas Eve Evening
“I always figured we’d get Banished sooner or later.” Djinn made a face at the shaky images of flames and destruction playing on the TV. “I just figured we’d get to have the fun of actually committing the horrific crimes we got punished for.”
Pele nodded in disgust. “It’s almost insulting. I’d have roasted way more victims by now. Look at that!” She waved an irritated hand towards the manically laughing Pele on screen. “That phony bitch can’t aim for shit! It’s like she’s letting them escape. How could anyone think that’s really me?”
“Fucking hell.” Teja muttered.
On the news, a fake-Pele was gleefully torching the Cold Palace with ten foot long flames, while a fake-Alder and a fake-Djinn smashed windows in the background. All around them, terrified Cold Phases ran for their lives.
“Is this happening right now?” She demanded, automatically scanning the crowd for any sign or Eian or Freya. Her Cold Phase cousins were nowhere in sight. “What the hell is going on?”
The Cold Kingdom was a land of endless frost and dark seas. An eternal blizzard turned the air there into snow globe, with frozen crystals sparkling as they floated down. At its center, the huge palace was constructed entirely out of mysterious blue ice. It loomed over the landscape, glowing with power. Her father’s homeland was a beautiful, forbidding place that Teja had always secretly loved.
Now, most of the kingdom’s structures were on fire, bystanders were screaming in terror, and the Fire Phases were right in the middle of the chaos.
…Or at least some pod-people, body-snatched versions of them.
“Reflection Phases.” Qadesh said from behind her. He was the largest and quietest member of the family, with a bandana cinched around his dark hair. He knew how wait for an opening to attack and, right now, all of his deadly focus was pinned on the TV. “Has to be them, using their powers to set us up.” Reflection Phases could change their appearance to look like anyone.
“No one can possibly think that’s really you, Qadesh.” Hope assured him earnestly. “Look at how happy he is. I think he’s even smiling!”
Sure enough, the doppelganger Qadesh was cavorting in the burning rubble, a huge grin on his usually stoic face. Under other circumstances, it would’ve been kind of hilarious to see the family assassin looking so cheerful.
“We should be taping this.” Djinn mused.
Qadesh’s jaw ticked.
A studio shot of Atlanta, the ubiquitous blonde newscaster, popped up in the corner of the screen. Gravity Phases always appeared grave, but Atlanta somehow managed to look like she was forever reporting on the death of every puppy in the world. “These shocking images are coming to us live from the Cold Kingdom, where the Fire House has launched a ruthless attack on innocent civilians.”
“Every time she’s reporting on us, it’s the same damn words. ‘Ruthless,’ ‘shocking,’ ‘dement
ed.’” Pele flicked Atlanta off. “Get a real job, bitch.”
“Most people have already the fled the scene, but the damage is still horrific. A vital part of our culture is being threatened and, once again, the Fire House is to blame.”
Djinn made a face. “Vital part of our culture, my ass. The place has always been a dump.”
“The Fire Phases have long been a thorn in the side of decent, law-abiding people.” Atlanta continued in her typical style of unbiased journalism. “Just today they reported killed an innocent Air Phase in the human realm.”
“That was Sully.” Alder protested. He looked over at Sullivan. “They’re trying to steal your credit!”
Sullivan ignored him, his eyes locked on the sixty-two inch screen.
Atlanta kept jabbering. “But, this level of aggression cannot go unchecked. Several Houses have vowed not to wait for formal sanctions. They wish to call a special hearing and Banish these outlaw hoodlums, once and for all.”
“Outlaw hoodlums!” Missy echoed in excitement. “Ooooh, I like that!”
“Phases from many Houses are no doubt languishing helplessly in Freya’s hospital, at this very moment.” Atlanta continued. “We aren’t sure how many innocent people will perish in their sick beds, because of these…”
“Blah, blah, blah.” Djinn summed up and lifted the remote control. “Hey, someone remind me why the Reflection Phases hate us, again. I swear, I barely know those fuckers.” He clicked to another channel without waiting for an answer and made a frustrated sound. “And of course it’s on every damn network. Come on, man… This crap is interrupting all the Christmas specials.”
“I think it’s exciting to have new enemies.” Missy chirped from her perch on the arm of her father’s chair. Her combat boots were daintily crossed at the ankle, her Alice in Wonderland blue dress scorched from countless battles. As usual, she was happily teetering on the brink of total madness. She’d always been a little eccentric, but the Fall had pushed her to right to the breaking point. If Missy didn’t find something to anchor her, it was just a matter of time before she fell off the edge. “We’ll be the noble heroes who fight persecution, just like Al Capone.” Missy gave an excited clap. “Yay!”
Teja didn’t think it was quite so fun.
She still didn’t see any of her Cold Phase relatives on screen. Freya and Eian hated her, but she didn’t want them dead. She’d never wanted to be part of the war between the Fire and Cold Houses. Not that anyone believed that. Now somebody was setting up half of her family to take the blame for attacking the other half of her family.
She glanced at Sullivan to see how he was taking this newest weirdness.
Her Match was staring at the television with a thoughtful expression on his face. “You’re being framed.” He said simply.
“Good boy!” Djinn praised. He’d apparently forgotten that Sullivan wasn’t a dog, again. “You see that, everybody? Even Dullivan gets that this is a set up. But, I betcha that moron Job still shows up to bitch at us, even though a goddamn human can see those jackholes look nothing like us.”
“They look exactly like you.” Sullivan insisted. “Except, their hair is wrong. The red isn’t the same.” His color-blindness must have let him see subtle differences in the shades that even the Reflection Phases missed. “Also, I don’t think you’d have to use flamethrowers to burn down a city. You guys are the flamethrowers.” He gestured towards the weapons strapped to the imposters’ backs.
“Good point, human.” Pele made a disgusted face. “This amateur hour is seriously insulting.”
“Seriously.” Djinn agreed. “We’re fucking professionals, ya know?”
“Why am I not being impersonated?” Kingu asked in a disgruntled voice. “I could be flattening that kingdom, too.”
“Because they can’t manufacture your powers.” Qadesh said flatly. “Everyone would see it’s fake.”
Sullivan glanced over at Teja. “Those guys are --like-- shape-shifters, aren’t they? I knew you were mutants. Everyone said, ‘No, no, no,’ but I knew it. Shape shifters.” He arched a brow. “I knew you couldn’t really be this beautiful.”
Teja glowered at him. “We aren’t shape shifters, Sullivan.”
“Explain your television star clones, then.”
“Those guys are Reflection Phases.” Alder put in helpfully. “They’re not shape shifters. They can just look like anyone they choose.”
Sullivan pinched the bridge of his nose. “How is that not a shape shifter, Alder?”
Alder hesitated, trying to come up with a reason and drawing a blank. He looked over at Djinn. “Hey, the human has a point. Those bastards are shape shifters!”
“I don’t care what they are, they’re fucking up my Christmas party.” Hope complained. She made a face and headed off wrap gifts in black paper covered with the chalk outlines of bodies.
“Damn Reflection House shape shifters.” Pele shook her head. “The only things they’ve ever been good for is high-priced hooking. Yeah, fine. They can play kinky sex games all dolled up to look like Marilyn Monroe, but no way did they come up with crap like this on their own.” She waved a hand at the TV. “They’re too predictable for this kind of trick.”
“I’m betting they’re just the hired guns.” Satour agreed. The guy was never happier than when he was predicting doom, so this was making his day. “They hate us, but no more than everybody else. There has to be someone bigger behind this.”
For once, Teja didn’t brush off Satour’s paranoid theories. It was easy to lose track of all the crazies wanting them dead, so the Fire House kept a running list taped to the refrigerator. Lately, it had been updated with such notable enemies as, “That Damn Cow Again,” “Chick from the Future (Probably)” and “The Other Bald Dude at Sears.” But no one had mentioned any Reflection Phases with a vendetta headed their way.
Yuan, of the Reflection House was one of the most powerful Elementals alive, but why would he organize attack the Cold Kingdom? Why would anyone? The Cold Phases weren’t warriors. They were mostly just scientists.
“We should go stop those guys before they kill somebody.” Sullivan put in. He really was a Wood Phase beneath the human veneer. They were all about the saving and protecting. “No one innocent has to die.”
Djinn scoffed at that idea. “I’m not going to the fucking Cold Kingdom. Let the whole place melt.” He settled down to watch it burn. “All we need is popcorn and a couple beers.”
“If those bastards commit mass murder, everyone’s going to think it was you.” Sullivan stressed, as if maybe they didn’t understand the ramifications.
“We get blamed for everything.” Hope sniffed, adding a sparkly bow to her morbid package. “It’s so unfair.”
Pele shrugged. “I don’t see much of a downside this time. We get the credit and we don’t even have to get our feet damp in the snow. Just because you don’t care about the news depriving you of your recognition for killing Yasil, doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t like a little bit of glory, Sullivan. Besides, you should be happy, about this. Those Cold dicks stole your memories.”
“We have very little evidence that they were involved.”
Djinn scoffed at that. “Oh, they were involved.” He judged with passionate certainty. “It was all them, them, one hundred percent them. Right, Pey?”
“Yep.”
“See?” Djinn exclaimed like that was proof beyond a reasonable doubt. “It’s so obvious. How can you…?” He stopped short, grinning in sudden delight. “Hey, Tej! There’s Xeroxed you.” He pointed at the screen. “Good. I’d hate for you to feel left out of our family’s newest war crimes.”
“It’s Teja-vu.” Missy chortled.
Kingu chuckled at that.
Teja refocused on the screen. A matching Teja had been added to the ranks, which was just all kinds of annoying. The real her did not look that scrawny. Granted she’d lost some weight since the Fall, but this imposter lacked all the pleasing curves Elemental men loo
ked for in a woman. That pissed her off more than anything.
Teja glared up at Sullivan, gauging his reaction to the skinny imposter. “I look way better than her.” She informed him in a tone that dared him to disagree.
Sullivan flicked her a sideways look. “I know. Again, being color blind isn’t the same as being actually blind.”
Teja grunted, satisfied with his quick answer.
Alder scowled at a close-up of the Alter Alder. “He’s wearing my favorite Hendrix shirt! I am going to kill that good-looking asshole so hard…”
Teja didn’t hear the rest of that complaint. All her attention was suddenly centered on a blonde figure hurrying across the screen. Her idiot cousin Freya wasn’t running away from the destruction and death… she was headed straight for the Teja replicant.
Shit.
Freya was the Elementals’ foremost doctor and a chattering, disapproving know-it-all. She spoke about three hundred words a second, most of them complaints about Teja. On her best day, Freya was annoying and pushy. Given her subpar people skills and nails-on-a-chalkboard prattling, there was no way Freya was going to endear herself to the armed maniacs.
The girl was going to get her talkative ass fried.
“Teja!” She shouted at the Not!Teja. “What are you doing?! Stop this! You’re attacking our kingdom for no reason!” Too dumb to run and too smart for her own good, Freya advanced on her target. “No matter how angry you are, this is going too far. I have sick Phases in the hospital! Did you even think about them? Or what about the Cold Palace? You’re melting it! Your father was born here! What are you thinking?!”
“The girl never shuts up, does she?” Satour muttered.
“Ten bucks says Twin-Teja barbeques her.” Djinn looked around. “Any takers?”
Teja closed her eyes in frustration as her relatives began placing bets. Freya was annoying as hell, but she was also Teja’s family. No one threatened her family. She sighed and glanced over at the others. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
“You want help?” Missy asked eagerly.
“No.” Introducing the actual Fire Phases into this mess would be like dousing a campfire with kerosene. “I can handle it. Just stay put and call Job. We’re going to need to prove that this isn’t us.”
Magic of the Wood House Page 10
