by Brindi Quinn
Yes, do not resist. Give me warmth.
No! Just stay like that a moment, so I can clear my head.
But the gale continued and its voice was louder than my unspoken words. In one quick motion, Nyte brought his hand to my back and pulled me back into him.
“I am sorry,” he again whispered before bringing his lips to my neck. “I choose to sin.”
Ah! The warmth was too much. It was far too much for any normal being to handle, and even though I wasn’t normal, I still pretended to be, so I wholly fell under that category. It coursed into my neck through his soft, warm lips and traveled through my veins, down my arms, and into my fingertips. I became engrossed in a power, the power of one that can command the earth at her will. I was ravishingly hungry for the spirit, and I wouldn’t hold out a moment longer.
GIVE ME IT ALL!
I pulled and pulled, and somewhere inside, I cried. This was going to turn out like last time. We were both fools for putting ourselves through this, but I couldn’t help it because I loved him and wanted him, and with the warmth’s power came an overwhelming sense of emotion from him. I was starting to understand what each burst of spirit meant.
I will take it all. That is what I must do.
NO!
It is the right thing. He is giving me his feelings, so I will not deny them. I will take them and the warmth.
No! It is because I love him that I can resist, no matter how painful it is to break away from that source of power. I know I can.
But I didn’t really know if I could. I gritted my teeth in struggle with myself, but at the same time, I threw my head back and succumbed to his embrace.
And then, in a moment of passion, I drew my fingers down his neck and felt something cold and hard. The pendant was there, beneath his shirt, against his skin. Somehow, someway, our timing was impeccable. We were about to be saved from another gorging pillage of power.
Nyte moved his lips to mine, and with that motion came another burst of warmth, but before it could swallow me, he jerked me forward, and in surprised response, I grabbed the pendant and pulled, seeking to release a bit of my aggression on it. That was our salvation.
“No!” Nyte grabbed my wrist to stop me, and the warmth was immediately cut-off.
I was free.
“Thank . . . Creator!” Panting, I pulled myself away from him. I drew in deep breaths and settled along the edge of the balcony.
That was close. That was so close. That was TOO close.
But while I caught my breath, Nyte remained how he’d been, still holding the pendant in a clenched fist, his eyes lowered.
“Nyte?”
He looked confused. “Why . . . why did I do that?”
“Because I was about to break your necklace. I’m sorry!”
“No.” With furrowed brows, he shook his head. “I do not feel attachment to this item, but even so, an impulse made me stop you from removing it, and even now, I feel like I should not.”
“The familiar pendant?” I muttered, taking new notice of it.
“Familiar?”
“Oh! Er- yeah, I’ve always felt like I’ve seen it before, but I don’t know where. I mean, that’s not even possible, right?”
“Hm . . . You are right. You could not have seen it before. Not on me, anyway. However, it is strange for you to feel recognition of it.” He studied it awhile longer and then looked up at me. “Would you try to take it off again?”
“Eh? All right.”
But I wasn’t prepared for what came next. His collar was already loose, but he now started to unbutton it a bit more. Eyaah! I looked away with flushed cheeks, my heavy heartbeat starting to act up again.
“Miss Havoc?” Nyte chuckled. “Is it possible you do not wish to see?” But then his voice became serious. “Is this too indecent?”
No, I very much wanted to see, but I feared spontaneous combustion.
Come on, Aura, get a grip!
“No, it’s fine.” I tried to sound collected.
I turned back to him, and the sly night breeze was back, toying with my already unstable state. It flittered about his ears, moving his hair back and forth in a most swaying motion. In the darkness, I couldn’t see the green in his eyes, but they gleamed with some bounced-off reflection of the moon even though it wasn’t in our direct line of sight.
In his element. Entirely.
But he was grinning at me expectantly. Ah! Was I staring?! Fearing loss of face, I hurriedly reached out and, wary of the warmth, avoided his skin as I grabbed the pendant and started to pull.
“No!” Again Nyte stopped me.
“Oh!” I was caught by surprise.
“Ah! Forgive me!” He stared at the pendant with another puzzled expression. “I wonder why I continue to do that. Now that I think about it, I have not taken this off since Elder Pietri gave it to me. Might it be that I was commanded not to? But I do not remember such a command, and what purpose would it serve, for that matter?”
But I was no longer listening to him. The warmth had mixed me up inside, and away from Nyte’s touch, I was now finally starting to feel stable again. While he contemplated the pendant, I took the opportunity to drive away the last bits of addiction and warmth, letting my mind clear. But as I drove away the monster, a recollection flooded me, taking its place.
“Oh! Right!” I suddenly remembered just what task Nyte had been off undergoing. Rend and Scardo! “Nyte! Did you . . . er . . . find anything?” I’d gotten caught in the moment and seduced by the gale, and I’d been thinking of no one but us. How disgusting. Was a selfish person like me really fit to be a Savior of the people?
Nyte dropped the pendant and stared off across the city.
“I am afraid I have returned without findings.”
“Really? Oh, no!” I’d already known – he hadn’t, after all, returned with them or made prior mention to their whereabouts – but I still felt disappointment at the news. “Are . . . are you worried?”
“Truthfully, a little.”
I appreciated that. He didn’t try to cover it up like the others. He was right there with me, experiencing the same fear.
Thank you for being honest. It makes my own feelings seem so much more appropriate. Like it’s all right for me to worry.
I would show him the same courtesy.
“Me too,” I whispered.
He brought his gaze to my face. “But I do not fear their death.”
Really? He sounded so serious and definite that I was immediately reassured, though I knew not his reasoning for making the claim.
“Oh?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Rend would have informed Scardo, had she felt the Thulian Pact taking effect. And if that had happened, I am confident that they would have returned immediately, if even before the third day.”
“Right!” I hadn’t thought of that. “Then I wonder why.”
“I am also unable to predict the reason for their detainment. It is . . . troubling.”
“Now that I’m awake, though, we can leave tomorrow to search for them, right?” Now that I’m awake. Again the guilt engulfed me. “Ugh!” I shook my head in disgust. “I’m so sorry that I held everyone up. That I kept you from-”
“Do not say that.” His voice was stern. “It was not your fault.”
“But how can you say that? I’m the one that can’t help myself!”
“No.” He shook his head. “It is my weakness that has caused this. I will not let you take blame from yourself. The sins I have accumulated continued to grow. Even now, I know that I should not touch you, but I will not refrain.”
He reached his hand out and drew his finger down my arm. Goosebumps rose on my arms and neck.
“Why is it like this?” I whispered, voice trembling. “Is it just because you’re an Elf and I’m a songstress? Or . . .” Are you really an ‘emulator’? If only Ardette had explained that more, then maybe I’d be able to figure out what was going on or some way to make it better. Stupid Ardette, I’
ll bet he just wants to keep me in the dark so that I can’t touch Nyte!
Nyte thought for a moment before answering. “I have never heard of something like it before.” He paused. “Have you ever touched Rend?”
Had I? I searched my memory. “Yes. When we first met Grotts and Scardo, and I’m sure there were other times.”
“And you felt no . . . no . . .”
“Hunger?” It was embarrassing to say the word aloud. I shook my head. “But back then, it was easier for me to resist you too.”
He quickly withdrew his hand, but not before I felt it grow warm. “Ah! That is because . . .” He looked embarrassed.
“Huh?”
“No. Never mind.”
But I locked my gaze on his. I would not miss an opportunity to find out anything helpful. If I could understand it, then maybe I could beat the addiction altogether.
Nyte looked off over my shoulder for a time and seemed to be deciding about something. What is it? It made me nervous, but I allowed him the silence, uninterrupted.
At last, he looked at me and said, “Aura.”
I shivered at his utterance of my real name.
“Yes?”
“When I was dying, you told me you had something important to tell me. What was it?” His face was serious, his eyes probing.
Yaah! What should I say?! Now it was my turn to be embarrassed. I hugged my knees and stared straight ahead at nothing. Think! Think! “That’s . . .” My cheeks were too hot; I couldn’t form the words.
But he didn’t wait for me to stumble through the rest. He placed a finger below my chin and pulled my gaze back to him.
Warm! It was even warmer than before! I struggled to breathe. I struggled to remain conscious.
“Too . . . much . . .” I mumbled.
He winced but left his finger there. “I am a selfish Elf, but please hold on a moment longer, for there is something important that I must tell you.”
I nodded. Breathe. Breathe.
“It is forbidden for me to make a proclamation such as this out of wedlock, but I have wanted to tell you this for some time, and I will not let tradition get in the way any longer.” The glint of spirit ran across his eyes.
I strongly suspected he enjoyed the thought of rebelling against laws of his people.
“Nyte?” Out of wedlock? What’s he talking about?
But my pulse kicked because it knew what was coming.
“Something has happened, Miss Havoc, and I wanted you to be aware. Our roles have reversed.”
“Roles?” I breathed.
He nodded. “You are no longer my captive.” He brought his face close to my ear and lowered his voice. “I am yours, wholly and truly.”
“C . . . captive . . .” Concentrate, Aura! But it was too warm. I could barely see him.
He pulled his mouth away from my ear and brought his face close to mine. “Aura, I am in love with you deeper than any love I have ever felt. Deeper than my love for the night, deeper than my love for the wood. It is you, and you alone, that I desire . . . my beautiful and intoxicating captor. This is why I cannot refrain from feeding you my spirit. I want you to have it because . . . I love you.”
I stared into his eyes and knew it was true. There was love there, overwhelming love. Even though I was struggling, a content smile settled upon my face.
He . . . loves . . . me.
Take his spirit! Can’t you see? This proves it! It’s yours!
No! I will not take it. I will not . . .
But it was impossible for me to resist. With my last bit of strength, I pushed the craving away only long enough to tell him,
“I love you too . . . more than my meadow . . . more than the western moon . . . more than anything. I love you, Nyte.”
He pulled me against him, and I pulled in the warmth, and together we collapsed while the beast within me devoured his spirit until we were both near unconsciousness.
One last unexpected thought flew into my mind before everything went dark.
I love you too . . . I’ve loved you for longer than you’ll ever know.
Chapter 5: The Bird
“Had yourselves an indulgence, have you?”
It was Ardette’s bitter voice that called me from sleep. My head was on Nyte’s chest. I sat up and shielded my eyes from the morning sun, which was blindingly white bouncing off of various shop heads and crystal fixtures.
“Ugh . . .” I groaned. “Where am-”
Oh, my Creator! We’d actually spent the night like that out on the balcony. It was way, way too scandalous!
Rend would surely kill me. She would murder the Pure Heart and sacrifice the thousands that would die in my absence if she ever found out.
She can’t ever find out!
Images of her wicked eyes full of blood-thirst invaded my mind. I struggled to fend them off while I thought of some excuse . . . any excuse for why Nyte and I’d woken together. I’m dead. Definitely dead.
But while Rend was sure to unleash the worst of her wrath if she ever found out, there was someone that was a much nearer threat. Ardette’s expression was unlike anything I’d ever seen. His eyes were blocked by the shadow of his forward forehead, but I suspected that they were black or some shade of red that was so black it might as well been. There was no trace of smile or mask or anything . . . just the most venomous, vengeful look of hatred that he now shot past me at Nyte, who was grinning and sitting up on his elbows.
“Where,” said Ardette his voice shaking with fury, “am I supposed to get the tears of an innocent now, you foolish son of a-”
“It is our business what we do!” Nyte shot back, his grin melting into a fury matching Ardette’s.
“I- innocent? Wait do you think we-” But my question ended in a choking gurgle when I realized what Ardette was thinking. How humiliating! “We- we didn’t do THAT!”
But Ardette wasn’t listening. “I will make it so that you can never touch her again!” He yelled, drawing his saber.
“Dare tell me how to handle the woman I-” But Nyte swayed and fell back onto the ground before he could finish.
“Nyte!” I bent over him and saw for the first time that something wasn’t right.
His normally bronze skin was pale, his eyes half-green, half-murky brown before they fluttered shut. His breathing was shallow.
“My, my, gotten what he deserves, has he?” Ardette returned his saber and stepped over us. His shadow was much darker than a Sape’s.
“Nyte?” I frantically patted his face but didn’t feel any warmth. “He’s cold? What’s wrong with him?!” I pleadingly looked up at Ardette for assistance.
“It seems his spirit is a bit-” – Ardette searched for the right word – “insufficient at the moment.”
“Oh no!” I took off my cloak and placed over him, thinking that maybe doing so could contain the last bits of warmth within him. “I did this to him! Nyte, Nyte! I’m so sorry!”
“No!” Ardette yelled sharply. “He did this to him! And he deserves whatever it’s earned him.”
“Stop it! How can you say that? You’ve heard my thoughts, felt that pull for yourself, how can you say something so cruel about Nyte?!”
“Because he’s weak! Do you think he’s the only one who struggles around you? No, my pit, you aren’t dense enough to believe that! I suppress my feelings because it is what’s best for you! He gives no regard to the consequences yet openly continues to pursue you! And,” – Ardette scowled at the sick Elf with a thick look of abhorrence – “it’s really starting to PISS ME OFF!”
“Suppress your feelings?” I snapped back, tears forming in the corner of my eyes. “Then, what was that kiss about?! That was not the kiss of a man suppressing himself at all!”
“Ech-” Ardette made an odd gurgling sound and snapped his gaze back to me. He seemed to have lost a bit of his vigilance, for that anger had subsided a little and he appeared slightly less sure of himself. “Well, you know that was to save you, my cherry pit.”
>
“Save me? A side-effect for which I’m grateful, but who are you kidding? It was to indulge yourself!”
Ardette’s fury was back. “You’re just mad that you kissed me back! I wonder if you’ve kissed him with such passion. Or is it that he is too old-fashioned to give you what you want?”
“Kiss?” Nyte was sitting up again.
“Nyte! Here, don’t struggle.” I awkwardly fiddled my hands above him, not sure how to help. If I can’t even touch him . . .
“I feel weak,” he mumbled.
He fell back down, but I caught his head before it could hit. His ears were drooped forward. Again, there was no aggressive warmth to take me in.
“I . . . took too much. I’m disgusting.” My body was shaking. “What am I going to do? My Song of Healing won’t work on a loss of spirit, will it?! Ardette please . . .”
I stared up at him and silently begged him to tell me something reassuring. We’d been giving no regard to the going-ons of the street, but the town was waking, and our fight had certainly alerted at least a few of them. I felt embarrassed and ashamed of behaving that way in front of others. But I also felt full of despair at what I’d done to Nyte and useless that I couldn’t help and regretful for the terrible things I’d just said to Ardette.
I never wanted any of this. I struggled to catch a hold of myself, but the shaking continued.
“Ugh. Relax.” Ardette’s voice was calm for the first time that day. He’d seen that inner storm and would once again help me to calm it. He placed a hand on my shoulder. Almost immediately, the shaking lessened at the feeling of his solid, comforting touch that didn’t tempt me with warmth.
“He will gradually rebuild more,” he said. “Just give it time.”
“Really?” Reassurance slowly slid through my body, erasing the last straggling trembles. “Thank Creator.”
Ardette sighed and shook his head like a disappointed father. “I don’t care if I have to stop you by force, tie you up, lock him in a cell; whatever I have to do, I will not allow you two to touch anymore.”
Nyte, lifting his eyelids only half-way, weakly looked up at Ardette and said, “That is not your decision to-”
