On Her Own

by Wanda E. Brunstetter

  “Jah, I believe I can.”

  A short time later, they pulled onto a grassy spot. Paul had no sooner secured the horse to a tree than the boys woke up and clambered out of the buggy. “Here, let me help you down,” Paul said, offering Barbara his hand.

  She leaned forward and gave him the baby. “If you’ll take Davey, I can get out of the buggy a little easier.”

  “After what I said about dropping my little bruder, are you sure you trust me to hold him?”

  She nodded. “I’m sure you’ll do fine.”

  Reluctantly, Paul took the infant. He’d never held a baby this young before and wasn’t sure if he was doing it right. He laid the baby against his shoulder, then patted the little fellow’s back, feeling more awkward and nervous by the minute.

  As soon as Barbara stepped down, she took her son. Paul felt a rush of relief. He’d seen many fathers hold their babies and look perfectly comfortable, but he doubted he ever would if he became a father.

  Paul reached under the front seat and grabbed an old quilt. He handed it to Barbara. “If you and the boys want to get settled, I’ll get the rest of the stuff unloaded.”

  “Joseph can help,” she said.

  Paul nodded toward the shoreline. The boys were already romping back and forth, throwing rocks into the water. “Let him play. I can manage.”

  “All right.” Cradling little David, Barbara headed for a grassy area not far from the water.

  In short order, Paul had a little tent set up for the baby carriage. Barbara put the infant inside and draped the piece of netting she’d brought over the sides. After Paul got the boys’ fishing poles ready, he baited Barbara’s hook and handed her the pole.

  “Danki.” She placed it on the ground and took a seat on the grass. “I’m not used to having someone wait on me, you know.”

  He grinned and sat next to her, noticing that she looked more rested. “It feels nice to be taking the time to go fishing.”

  She nodded, then leaned forward and cupped her hands around her mouth. “Joseph, Paul has your pole ready! Bring Zachary over here, and let’s do some fishing.”

  The boys came running, and soon all four of them had their lines in the water. The sound of the children’s laughter rippled over Paul like a bubbling brook, and he was amazed at how comfortable he felt. Savoring the moment, Paul closed his eyes and allowed himself to fully relax.

  “Would you like to have some cookies and milk?” Alice asked Aaron when she opened the back door and found him sitting on the top porch step with his shoulders slumped and his head down.

  “Naw. I ain’t hungry.”

  She resisted the urge to correct his English and instead seated herself beside him. “Are you wishing you’d gone to the pond with your mamm and brieder?”

  He shook his head vigorously. “Paul’s there, too, and I don’t want to do anything with him.”

  “Not even help in the harness shop?”

  “I only go there ’cause it’s my daed’s shop, and he promised it’ll be mine someday. Otherwise, I’d never go anywhere near Paul Hilty.”

  “What have you got against Paul?”

  Aaron shrugged.

  “Your grandpa says Paul knows a lot about harness making. I’m sure he could teach you plenty of things.”

  “Mama can teach me when she starts workin’ full-time again.”

  “Even so, it’s good for you to be around a man,” Alice said.

  “I’m around Grandpa a lot. At least he doesn’t think he knows everything.”

  Alice placed her hand on Aaron’s knee. “I’m sure Paul doesn’t think he knows everything.”

  “Jah, he does. He acts like he’s the boss of me and everything in my daed’s harness shop.” Aaron grunted. “You should see the way Joseph and Zachary hang all over him—like he’s somethin’ real special.”

  “They like Paul. He seems to like them, too.”

  “Humph!” Aaron folded his arms and stared straight ahead. “I think he’s only pretendin’ to like ’em.”

  “Why would he want to do that?”

  A horse and buggy rolled into the yard just then, interrupting their conversation.

  “That looks like Faith Hertzler’s rig,” Alice said. “She must be looking for your mamm.”

  Aaron stood. “Think I’ll go out to the barn awhile and see what Grandpa’s doin’.”

  “If you change your mind about having some milk and cookies, give a holler.”

  As Faith stepped down from her buggy, she noticed Barbara’s oldest boy dart into the barn. She glanced up and saw Alice standing on the porch.

  “I came to see how Barbara’s doing. Is she at home?” Faith called.

  Alice shook her head. “She and the three younger ones went to the pond with Paul Hilty for a picnic and to do some fishing.”

  “Really?” Faith asked as she joined Alice on the porch.

  “Jah. I was surprised that she agreed to go, but I’m glad she did. My daughter needs to get out more. Maybe some fresh air and sunshine will perk her up a bit.”

  “I totally agree.” Faith glanced at the barn. “How come Aaron didn’t go?”

  “That boy’s been acting moody as all get-out ever since Paul began working for Barbara. He was invited to go fishing, but he didn’t want to go.”

  “That’s too bad. I’m sure he would have enjoyed spending the evening at the pond with a fishing pole in his hand. I know Isaiah sure would have.” Faith chuckled. “For that matter, Melinda would rather be at the pond or in the woods than doing anything at home.”

  Alice smiled. “Is she still taking in every critter that comes along?”

  “Jah, as many as we’ll allow.”

  “At least she has something that holds her interest. That’s more than I can say for Aaron these days. All he seems to want to do is sit around and mope.” Alice motioned to the wicker chairs sitting near the front door. “Would you like to have a seat and visit awhile?”

  “I don’t mind if I do.” Faith sank into one of the chairs with a weary sigh. “I spent most of the day helping Noah bake, and my feet are tired from standing so long.”

  “That man of yours is a wonder to me,” Alice said. “Most men don’t go near the kitchen unless it’s to fill their bellies with food, but he actually enjoys being there.”

  “That’s true. According to Noah’s mamm, he started helping her in the kitchen when he was just a boy. I feel fortunate to have him.”

  “I hope Barbara finds another husband someday. She deserves to be happy, and it’s getting harder for her to run that harness shop by herself.” Alice gave a gusty sigh. “Of course, she thinks she can do everything on her own.”

  “Has she started working in the shop again?”

  “Just a couple of hours here and there, but as soon as she regains her strength, she’ll be back working full-time. Then Paul Hilty will probably be on his way back to Pennsylvania.”

  “Paul seems like a nice man,” Faith said. “From what Noah’s told me, Paul’s real good at what he does, too.”

  Alice nodded. “I don’t think he would have left Missouri if he’d been able to do harness work here.”

  Faith popped a couple of knuckles as she contemplated the best way to say what was on her mind. “I was wondering. . . .”

  “What’s that?”

  “If Paul invited Barbara and her boys to go to the pond with him, do you think he might be interested in Barbara?”

  Alice blinked. “Is that what you think?”

  Faith’s face heated with embarrassment. “I didn’t say that. I just meant—”

  Alice waved her hand. “It’s all right. To tell you the truth, I’m hoping things work out so Barbara and Paul can be together. After all, they both enjoy the harness business, and Barbara’s boys—all but Aaron—seem to like Paul a lot.”

  “Maybe in time, Aaron will come around.” Faith smiled. “Now we just have to hope and pray that Barbara will see that she needs another man, and that if it’s m
eant to be Paul, they’ll both realize it before Bishop John convinces her to marry him.”

  Barbara couldn’t get over how relaxed she felt as she fixed her gaze on Paul. For one crazy moment, she was hurled into a whirlwind of conflicting emotions as she wondered what it would be like if Paul were to stay in Missouri and—

  Barbara shook her head. She couldn’t allow herself the luxury of thinking about Paul as anything other than her temporary employee. She had a business to run, not to mention four boys to raise. There wasn’t time for romantic notions or even a close friendship with someone who would be leaving Webster County soon.

  She nibbled on her lower lip. Even if I did feel free to begin a relationship with Paul, and I knew he wanted one, he’s never been married. He wouldn’t want to take on the responsibility of raising another man’s children, especially when one of them doesn’t seem to like him much.

  “Hey! I’ve got me a bite!” Joseph hollered, pulling Barbara’s musings aside. “I think it’s a big one!”

  “Hold on tight,” Paul instructed as he sprang to his feet.

  “Would ya help me reel him in?”

  Paul grabbed Joseph’s pole and held it steady.

  “Don’t let him get away, okay?”

  “I won’t.” After several tugs, a nice big catfish lay flopping at the boy’s feet.

  Zachary squealed and jumped up and down. “Fisch! Fisch!”

  Barbara laughed. It felt nice to see her boys having such a good time.

  Joseph pointed to his trophy. “Es bescht,” he said with a wide grin.

  Paul nodded. “Jah, the best.” He removed the hook, then placed the catfish in a bucket of water.

  For the next hour, they continued fishing. With Paul’s help, they each caught at least one fish. The boys vied for Paul’s attention, plopping down beside him and taking turns crawling into his lap. It pleased Barbara to see them so happy and carefree. If only Aaron hadn’t been too stubborn to come. He would have enjoyed himself as much as his younger brothers.

  After a while, the baby woke up and started to howl.

  Zachary and Joseph covered their ears. “Make him quit, Mama,” they pleaded in unison.

  “There’s only one way to stop his crying,” Barbara said. “I’ll need to feed him.” Feeling the heat of a blush cover her cheeks, she looked over at Paul. “Would you mind if I take the boppli to your buggy?”

  Paul shook his head, and she noticed the blotch of red covering his face. “Sure, go ahead. Maybe when you’re done, we can eat our picnic supper,” he said.

  A short time later, the baby was fed and settled back in his carriage. Barbara spread the contents of their picnic basket on the quilt, and they bowed for silent prayer. Following the prayer, they dug into the fried chicken, baked beans, carrot sticks, and rolls. Paul brought out a batch of peanut butter cookies Noah had given him.

  “Everything tastes great,” Paul said, smacking his lips. “Especially the chicken.”

  “It’s a recipe my mamm and her mamm used to make,” she said with a smile. “I call it Webster County Fried Chicken, and it used to be David’s favorite meal.”

  Paul smacked his lips again. “I can see why. It’s appeditlich.”

  She smiled and pushed the container of chicken closer to him. “Since you think it’s delicious, would you like to have some more?”

  “Don’t mind if I do,” he said, reaching for another drumstick.

  “Have you gone on many picnics in Lancaster County?” Barbara asked.

  He shrugged. “I’ve gone on a few with my cousin’s family.”

  “How about a girlfriend?”

  He shook his head. “Don’t have one of those right now.”

  “Oh, I see.” Barbara handed Paul a glass of lemonade, and when their fingers touched briefly, a strange sense of warmth crept through her body. She hadn’t felt this giddy since her courting days with David. It was more than a bit disconcerting.

  Paul smiled. “Danki, Barbara.”

  She returned his smile, realizing that despite her best intentions a special kind of friendship was taking root in her heart. She didn’t need love or romance to enjoy the company of a man—especially this man.

  Chapter 13

  Paul was glad to have an off Sunday, when there would be no church. It wasn’t that he disliked the services. He just wanted some time alone. After yesterday’s trip to the pond with Barbara and three of her boys, he needed to think and pray. He’d had a good time. Too good, maybe, Paul thought as he headed for his folks’ barn. Since he wouldn’t be doing any work that wasn’t absolutely necessary on this day of rest, a little getaway might do him some good.

  As soon as Paul entered the rustic building, he took a seat on a bale of straw. He had come here countless times when he was a boy, and it had always been a good place to think and pray.

  Heavenly Father, I don’t know why I’m so drawn to Barbara, he prayed. Mom told me how hard Barbara mourned when David was killed, and I have an inkling she might still be grieving.

  A vision of Barbara’s pretty face popped into his head. Despite my attraction to her, Lord, I know it’s not likely she would ever be interested in me. She’s got the bishop after her, and I suspect she’ll consider marrying him.

  The barn door creaked, and Paul’s eyes snapped open.

  “Paul?”

  “Jah, Pop, I’m over here.”

  His father removed his straw hat, revealing a thick crop of nearly gray hair, and plopped the hat over a nail protruding from a nearby beam. “What are you doing in here?”

  “Just sitting, thinking, and praying.”

  “Always did like to hide out in the barn, didn’t you?”

  “Jah.”

  “I would like to talk to you for a minute if you’re done praying.”

  “Sure, what’s up?”

  Pop leaned against a wooden beam as he studied Paul. “Your brothers and I could use some help in the fields next week. We were hoping we could count on you.”

  Paul shifted uneasily on the bale of hay. “Sorry, but I can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “I can’t leave Barbara in the lurch.”

  Pop squinted his pale blue eyes. “She’s not back to work yet?”

  Paul shook his head.

  “When will she be?”

  “I don’t rightly know. She tried working a few hours one day last week, but I think it took its toll on her.”

  Pop crossed his arms. “Your mamm tells me Barbara and a couple of her kinner went fishing with you yesterday afternoon. Doesn’t sound to me like she’s feeling so weak if she can fish all afternoon.”

  Paul’s defenses rose as his face heated up. “Sitting on a grassy bank with a fishing pole is relaxing. It’s not hard work like the things we do in the harness shop.”

  His father’s face contorted. “Jah, well, it makes me wonder if there isn’t more going on with you and Barbara than just you working for her.”

  Paul clenched his fists. Pop had no right to be saying such things, but there had been too many harsh words between them in the past. He didn’t want to respond disrespectfully.

  “There’s nothing going on between me and Barbara,” Paul said slowly. “I promised to help her until she’s back on her feet, and I aim to do just that.”

  Pop grunted. “And then what?”

  “Then I’ll be on my way back to Lancaster County to work in Andy’s harness shop. Fact is, I went to Seymour the other day and phoned Andy to see if my job’s still waiting.”

  “And?”

  “He’s got a couple of fellows working there now, but he said my job will be waiting for me when I go back to Pennsylvania.”

  “Didn’t figure it would be any different.” Pop grabbed his hat and stalked out of the barn, letting the door slam shut behind him.

  Paul shook his head. “I guess some things will never change.”

  Barbara stood on the front porch of her house. As she watched her three boys play in the yard, her thoug
hts took her back to the pond, where she had enjoyed herself so much yesterday. Paul had shown a side of himself she hadn’t known existed. Usually serious, he had joked with her, frolicked with Zachary and Joseph, and seemed genuinely relaxed. He’d even commented on how much the baby was growing and said he was a cute little guy. As long as they stayed away from the topic of the harness shop, Barbara and Paul got along quite well.

  “Mama, Aaron’s bein’ mean.”

  Barbara whirled around at the sound of Joseph’s voice. “What’s the problem, son?” she asked, leaning over and wiping away the tears glistening on his cheeks.

  “Aaron says Paul’s tryin’ to be our new daed.”

  Barbara’s mouth dropped open. “Where did he get such a notion?”

  “I was tellin’ him how much fun we had at the pond yesterday and how Paul said he wished he had a son like me.” Joseph’s lower lip quivered slightly. “Aaron said Paul was just tryin’ to butter me up. He said that Paul’s a mean man.”

  “And what has Paul done to make Aaron think he’s mean?”

  Joseph sniffed. “He says Paul’s real bossy and is always givin’ him crummy jobs in the harness shop.”

  Barbara pursed her lips. Paul had given Aaron menial jobs to do. But her son was too young to do anything complicated or that required heavy lifting. She also knew the child wanted to help in the shop and figured he would appreciate any job, no matter how small. Aaron had never complained when his father had given him easy chores to do. Barbara suspected Aaron’s dislike of Paul had more to do with not wanting anyone to take his father’s place.

  She tousled Joseph’s curly, blond hair and gave him a hug. “I’ll speak to Aaron about his attitude. In the meantime, why don’t you take Zachary inside? There’s a jar of chocolate chip cookies that Grandma made yesterday on the cupboard. You two can have some with a glass of milk, if you like.”

  Joseph smiled, and his blue eyes brightened considerably. “Okay. I’ll climb up on a stool and get us some.” He turned around and motioned for Zachary. “Come inside and have some cookies and milk.”