First Time Tales - Farmboy

by Jean-Luc Cheri

  Jamie turned and leaned against the fence beside me, our arms touching lightly. I felt a shiver go through me. “Yeah, it’s nice around here.”

  “Except when your dad is yelling at you, right?”

  “Nah, he’s not too bad. As long as I do my chores, he doesn’t have a problem.”

  “I’m not keeping you from any now, am I?”

  “No, I wouldn’t be standing here if you were. Do you think I want to get yelled at twice in one day?”

  I laughed. “I guess not.”

  I turned back around, wanting to see the horses again. But what I saw made me gasp in shock. “Um, Jamie, I think you have a problem.”

  Still facing the other way, he said, “What’s that?”

  “I think Blaze and that mare are fighting.”

  He turned around to look at where I was pointing. Blaze had climbed up on one of the mare’s back, and wrapped his hooves around her sides. The mare was whinnying and snorting.

  Jamie began laughing hard. He bent over and put his hand to his mouth, trying to stop his giggles.

  “What?” I asked, but he was too far gone to reply.

  I crossed my arms and glared at him. “What’s so funny?”

  He was pointing at the horses, and trying to speak, but it was coming out in gasps. Finally, I was able to understand enough to hear, “They’re not fighting.”

  I turned back to the horses and looked closer. I realized what was going on, and my mouth gaped open so wide I had to cover it with my hand. They weren’t fighting, they were screwing. I could see the stallion’s long penis entering the mare from behind. She was still whinnying, and her head was shaking vigorously.

  Jamie was still laughing, and I turned to him with my hands on my hips, pretending to be indignant. But after a moment, I couldn’t hold it in any longer and began giggling myself.

  After a minute, we both began to catch our breaths. “City girls,” he said, shaking his head.

  My cheeks were hot from my blush. “I told you I’ve never met a horse before. And besides, I’m not used to that position. Not an easy one to achieve in the backseat of a car.”

  His smile froze and his eyes went wide. I realized I had said too much. I decided I had to change the subject quickly.

  “So,” I said, “what else do you have to show me?”

  He still had a slightly shocked look on his face. “Um, we could visit the pond.”

  “Sounds fun.”

  Just then, we heard a bell ring.

  “That’s dinner,” he said. “We’ll have to save the pond for some other time.”

  We walked back to the house, and halfway there he muttered, “Fighting,” and began laughing again. I playfully punched his shoulder, and he pretended it hurt more than it did. We walked into the house grinning like fools.

  Our two mothers were staring at us in surprise. I guess they didn’t think we’d be getting along so well so soon.

  “You two look happy,” Lauren said.

  We grinned at each other. “Jamie was just giving me a tour of the farm,” I said.

  “See anything interesting?” Mom asked.

  I shrugged. “The horses were pretty cool.”

  Jamie snickered.

  Our two moms gave us curious looks.

  “By the way,” Lauren said, “Jamie, this is Maggie, my friend. Maggie, this is Jamie.”

  “Nice to meet you,” Jamie said.

  “Hello Jamie,” Mom said, “you look so much like your father.”

  “I get that a lot, Ma’am.”

  “Ok,” Lauren said, “you two run along and get washed up for supper. Jamie, is your father back from plowing?”

  “Yeah, he’s around somewhere.”

  “That man,” Lauren said, “I think he’s deaf sometime.” She went out on the back porch and rang the bell again.

  Chapter 6

  We all sat around the dinner table, enjoying our food. Something about eating on the farm made everything taste better.

  “So, Kristen,” Lauren said, “what do you think of the farm?”

  “It’s very nice,” I replied.

  “She helped feed the cows,” Jamie said.

  Lauren glared at her son. “You made her do your chores?”

  He grinned. “Not me. Dad made her do it.”

  Lauren turned her accusing gaze to her husband. “And why did you do that?”

  Mr. Cooper shrugged. “If Jamie did his chores when I asked him, he wouldn’t need a girl to help him finish.”

  Lauren threw her hands up. “Kristen, you’re a guest here. You don’t have to do any chores, no matter what either of these two tell you.”

  I grinned. “All I did was carry some buckets of water. No big deal.”

  “That’s more than you do at home,” Mom said, making everyone laugh.

  “Blaze mounted Snowflake,” Jamie said nonchalantly.

  Mr. Cooper laid down his spoon. “Well it’s about time. I was about to take that useless stallion back to the Johnson’s and get my money back.”

  “What do you think caused it?” Lauren asked.

  Jamie shrugged. “I don’t know. I was just showing Kristen the corral, and we turned around and there they were, going at it.”

  “You know,” Lauren said, pointing with her fork, “I was reading an article in Farming Digest last month, which talked about how pheromones from a human female can set off a stallion’s mating instinct.” She turned to me. “So Kristen, we may have you to thank.”

  I gave her a puzzled look. “I don’t understand.”

  “It’s simple,” she said, “every female gives off chemicals known as pheromones, which males subconsciously pick up. And when females are sexually aroused, their pheromone output increases. Some scientists claim that this is the basis for sexual attraction. Now, this particular theory claims that male horses can pick up the pheromones of female humans, and when they do, they’re more likely to mate with a mare.”

  I laid down my fork. “Ew.”

  Jamie snickered again.

  Lauren gave me a blank, questioning look. “Why ew?”

  “Are you saying that horse smelled me, and that’s why it mounted that mare?”

  “Well,” Lauren said, “it’s not exactly smell, but yeah, it’s basically like that.”

  “That’s gross.”

  “But according to the theory, your pheromone level would have to be high.”

  “I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” I said.

  “But I don’t know why that would be,” she continued, as if I hadn’t spoken. “It’s not like you would be aroused out in the…” her voice trailed off as she looked between me and her son.

  I stared down at my plate, feeling my cheeks burning.

  “For god’s sake, Lauren,” Mr. Cooper said, “can we change the damn subject?”

  Chapter 7

  An hour later, I was up in my room, lying on my bed staring at the ceiling, when a soft knock came on my door.

  “Yes?”

  “It’s me,” Jamie said, “can I come in?”

  “It’s open.”

  He swung open the door, but stood leaning against the frame. He paused before beginning. “I told you my mom was weird. Sorry about that.”

  I gave him a slight smile. “It’s ok.”

  “She means well. She just doesn’t think sometimes.”

  My smile turned into a grin. “I’m fine. I’m sure I’ll laugh about it someday.”

  “You want to see the pond tomorrow?”

  “I’d love to.”

  “We’ll go down after I finish my morning chores.”

  “I can help. What time do you get up?”

  “Four a.m.”

  I frowned. “Maybe I’ll ease my way into the morning chores. Four o’clock only comes around once a day for me.”

  He laughed. “No problem. Besides, my mom would kill me if she saw you milking the cows.”

  I noticed he was holding something by his side. “What’s tha
t?”

  He lifted his hand and showed me a board game box. “Mom asked me to come up and see if you wanted to play.”

  I sat up on the edge of my bed. “Which one is it?”

  “The Game of Life.”

  “You don’t have Twister?”

  He gave me an odd look. “What?”

  I grinned. “Just kidding. I’d love to play.”

  He came in and sat on the floor, and I moved down and sat cross-legged across from him.

  “I haven’t played this since I was a little kid,” I said.

  He smiled. “Me neither. I’m not sure where Mom dragged it out from.”

  We began to play, and soon we each had little pink and blue families we were hauling around in our plastic cars. He kept landing on spaces that gave him more kids, and we both laughed hard when I told him to stop being a horndog and leave his wife alone.

  He won the first game, and I won the second, and then he said he had to get to bed. It was only nine, but I realized he had an early morning. I guessed farm life worked on a different schedule than mine.

  We said our goodnights, and I lay on my bed for a while, going over my day in my mind. It certainly was a lot different than I thought it would be.

  Chapter 8

  We made our way down the path through the woods, heading for the pond. I was carrying a wicker picnic basket that held our lunch, which was Lauren’s idea. The morning sun shone through the tall trees, creating bright patches of sunlight here and there. At the bottom, we came around a group of thick bushes, and the pond lay before us.

  I stood there staring in amazement at the beautiful scene in front of me. The pond was about fifty feet wide and a hundred feet long, surrounded by a grassy bank.

  “This is incredible,” I said.

  “I’ve been coming here since I was a baby. Mom tells me she used to set my bassinette on the grass there, and read to me.”

  He sat down on the bank, and I took a seat next to him.

  I grinned. “That’s sweet.”

  “She even told me she thinks I was conceived down here.”

  I winced. “She told you that?”

  He smiled. “I told you she’s strange.”

  “That’s way too much information for my tastes. I don’t even want to think about my parents having sex.”

  He chuckled. “I know what you mean.”

  “Do you have a girlfriend, Jamie?”

  He looked down. “No. I’m too busy around here for that.”

  “Have you ever had one?”

  He shook his head. “No.”

  “Ever kissed a girl?”

  He grinned. “Once.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “Well, it was about four months ago, at the Longhorn. I had gone to see one of my favorite bands play, and this pretty woman comes up to me and asks if I want to dance.”

  “A woman?”

  “Yeah, she was about twenty-five.”

  I grinned. “An older woman, huh?”

  “Yeah, I guess. But she was real pretty, kinda like y–, I mean, she was real pretty.”

  I smiled at his near slipup. “So, what happened?”

  “Well, we were dancing, and it was nice, and after the song was over, she said she was hot and needed some fresh air, and wondered if I’d like to go out back with her.”

  “Nice!”

  “So, I said sure, and she took me by the hand and led me out. We were standing there in the dark, just talking, and all of a sudden she puts her arms up around my neck and kisses me.”

  “Just like that?”

  “Just like that. And I’m too surprised to do anything, and all of a sudden I feel her tongue poking into my mouth.”

  I giggled.

  “And I don’t know what that is, but I’m pretending like I do, so I do the same to her, and she seems to love it. All the while she’s pressing her body up against mine, and it’s feeling real good.”

  “Wow. So, did you two, you know?”

  He shook his head. “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Turns out, she was married.”

  I looked at him in shock. “Married?”

  “Yep. And her husband wasn’t too happy about me kissing her.”

  “What did he do?”

  “Well, as she’s kissing me, I feel this strong hand on my shoulder, and the next thing I know, I’m being spun around, and a fist hits me right in the jaw.”

  “No way!”

  “So I stagger backwards, and there’s this huge guy staring at me, as angry as a hornet’s nest. He’s yelling at me, asking why I’m kissing his wife. I’m trying to explain to him that I didn’t know, but he doesn’t want to hear it, and he punches me again.”

  “Ouch!”

  “I’m starting to get mad, and tired of being punched, but you know what really gets me going?”

  “What’s that?”

  “I look over at the woman, and she’s just grinning like a kitty, feeling all smug that she got her man to fight for her. So, I figure if she wants to see a fight, I’ll give her one.”

  “You fought him?”

  “Yep.”

  “Did he hurt you?”

  Jamie gave me a funny look. “No.”

  “What happened?”

  “I messed him up good. His girlfriend wasn’t smiling anymore by the time I was done.”

  My eyebrows shot up. “Seriously?”

  He nodded. “He was out cold when I left, and I hurried home. I figured it’d be best if I didn’t tell my parents what happened, but the next day, the sheriff came by, wanting to ask me a few questions.”

  “Holy crap!”

  “Turns out, I broke his nose and his jaw, and gave him a concussion. The sheriff said there were plenty of witnesses who said it was him and his girlfriend who started it, but he just wanted to get my version into his report. He even clapped me on the back before he left, and said the guy had got what was coming to him. I think my dad was a little proud, but my mom was none too happy. She told me I had to stay away from there from now on.”

  “So that’s why.”

  “That night, I heard her and Dad arguing about it in the kitchen. He was saying I was a healthy eighteen year old boy, and it was about time I met some girls. Mom said that may be true, but the kind of girls in places like that aren’t worth meeting. Mom eventually won, and I haven’t been back since.”

  I put my hand on his arm. “I’m sorry to hear that, Jamie.”

  He shrugged. “She’s probably right. I mean, if those girls are going to be kissing me just to make their boyfriends or husbands jealous, I don’t want any part of them.”

  “All girls aren’t like that.”

  “How am I supposed to know which ones aren’t?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe you get to know them a little before you kiss them?”

  He grinned. “I wasn’t thinking that clearly.”

  I laughed. “Oh, you were thinking alright, just with the wrong part of your body.”

  He laughed with me. “Maybe you’re right.” Then he looked at me. “How about you? Do you have a boyfriend?”

  I shook my head. “No. I had one, but we broke up about a month ago.”

  “Why’d you break up?”

  “He went to Alaska to work, and decided it was too far away to continue the relationship.”

  “Sorry to hear that. Were you sad?”

  “A little, but I realized it wasn’t going to work out anyway, so it was good it ended now.”

  “Were you two in love?”

  I considered the question for a moment. “You know, I never thought about it. When you’re in something like that, you assume you are in love, but after it’s over, you wonder if it was something else.”

  “Something else? Like what?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe you just like having someone to hang around with and go out with on the weekend. Or maybe you’re just in it for the sex.”

  He looked mildly surprised, but didn’
t ask the question that was on his lips. So I answered it anyway.

  “Yes, we had sex. Pretty much every weekend.”

  He paused for a moment, thinking over his next question. “Did you enjoy it?”

  I shrugged again. “Yeah, I guess so. But probably not as much as I should have.”

  He gave me a confused look. “What does that mean?”

  “I mean, it’s hard not to enjoy sex. Even bad sex is kinda good. But with Billy – that’s his name – it just seemed like he cared about himself, and I just happened to be there. For a while, that’s ok, but eventually, you want something more.”

  “What do you mean, something more?”

  “I want to know what it feels like to make love, not just have sex. Billy had sex with me, but I never felt any love from him while we were doing it.”

  Jamie nodded. “I think I understand, but I have a question.”

  “Go for it.”

  “Can you tell me what a guy has to do to make love to a girl, instead of just having sex with her?”

  I smiled. “It’s not a specific thing he does, it’s more how he feels. His attitude towards her. If he treats her like she’s special, instead of just a way to get off.”

  He nodded again. “I think I got it.”

  I laughed. “I think you do. Personally, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I think whatever girl ends up with you is very lucky. I think you’re going to be a sensitive lover who cares about how his girl is feeling.”

  He shook his head. “I’m not so sure about that.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t know the first thing about girls. How can I be a sensitive lover when I’ve never been with a girl?”

  I smiled. “Jamie, you’re not listening. It’s all about attitude, not experience. Once you find that girl you want to be with, and hopefully she’s not some married bitch in a bar, you’ll get all the experience you need. And if you have the right attitude, it won’t take long. Trust me.”

  “But what if I’m so bad at it, she doesn’t want to have sex again?”