No Experience Required

by Kimberly Cooper Griffin

  She was just about to open the message app when she noticed the icon for the dating site blinking. Her email had been lighting up with notifications for days, but she’d ignored all of them so far. She still hadn’t put a picture up, so she couldn’t imagine what her “suitors” could be interested in.

  Three messages and several winks. Interesting. The first message began with, “Hey, Baby.” She deleted it without reading another word. She wasn’t anyone’s baby. The second one was from a woman whose profile picture featured her holding an automatic rifle. She deleted it. The third was an email from the site coordinator providing a list of potential connections the site algorithm had selected based on common interests.

  She looked at the list of suggested connections. What kind of women would the site try to match her with? She hovered her finger over the delete button, but curiosity and a justification that she was doing research won out. She looked through the matches. Some of them seemed normal. Normal? What was “normal”? The first profile was Stacey from Santa Clara. Stacey was a nurse and forty-seven, just like Izzy. Oh, she was a runner, too. She and Stacey liked a lot of the same things. She enjoyed reading, but she liked to go out and do things, too. She appeared to be intelligent and active, an alluring combo. The more Izzy read, the more she liked Stacey from Santa Clara—until the last sentence. Stacey didn’t like dogs. Bye-bye, Stacey from Santa Clara.

  The next profile was a definite miss. The woman was twenty-three and looking for a sugar mama. She wrote it right there in the profile. “Seeking sugar mama.” What was a “sugar mama,” exactly? She had to look it up. Once she did, she knew she definitely wasn’t into that kind of thing.

  The next profile was better: Anaya, forty-four, from Cupertino. She looked familiar. A little buzz filled her stomach. Strikingly pretty. Long dark hair. She was a project manager from a local software-development company. They’d have things to talk about. Nothing in her profile raised any flags. If Izzy really was ready to date, and not just doing research, she might actually contact Anaya. Izzy ran through the remaining seven profiles in the list, most of which were completely off-target. One other was close, but she lived all the way over in Santa Cruz. Someone would have to be awfully special in order to make her want to drive to Santa Cruz for dating. And since it was just research, it was a no-go, too.

  Izzy was just about to log out of the website, when she received an instant message from the app. Curious, but a little wary after her first experience with instant messaging, Izzy clicked on the blinking icon at the bottom of the page. It was Anaya from Cupertino. The little buzz of excitement flared in her stomach again.

  It intrigues me when people don’t post pictures. Who are you, mysterious I. Treadway?

  Izzy considered the message for a moment, wondering if she should answer. What would she say? She considered playing it coy. She typed I is for Intriguing, but she deleted it and sent, Hi, Anaya. I is for Izzy instead.

  Hi, Izzy. Is that short for something?

  Isadora. My mom wasn’t thinking about my future reputation when she picked it.

  Was she flirting? She didn’t even know she knew how. More interesting, she wasn’t even nervous. Ah! The anonymity of the internet!

  Isadora is a beautiful name. Quite noble, in fact. Anaya seemed even more familiar as they chatted.

  Thank you.

  So, why don’t you have a profile picture?

  I’m new to all of this. I haven’t picked one out yet.

  Picking the right picture is the worst. It’s hard to figure out what you want others to see.

  Your picture is lovely.

  And it was. Then it struck her. Anaya looked quite a bit like Jane. Not in a twin-like way but close enough. The photo had even picked up on a playful glint in her eyes similar to Jane’s. The buzz in her stomach dialed it up a couple notches. If Anaya was remotely like Jane, she’d be pretty awesome.

  Thank you. I wasn’t fishing for a compliment, I swear.

  I didn’t think you were. It’s a lovely picture.

  My sister took the picture on our birthday a few months ago.

  Your sister and you have the same birthday?

  LOL. We’re twins.

  Izzy smacked her forehead. Duh. So smooth. You look happy.

  It’s a rare picture that catches me genuinely smiling.

  How weird would it be if Anaya was Jane’s sister? There was more than a passing resemblance. Jane was almost always smiling, though. Why was she thinking about Jane? Identical or fraternal? You don’t usually smile?

  While she waited for Anaya to respond, she looked to see if Jane had a profile on the website. There were several Jane Mendozas, but she couldn’t find one for the Jane she knew. Of course she didn’t. A woman like Jane wouldn’t need one. Besides, what would she have done if she found one? It wasn’t as if she wanted to date her. Well, “want” wasn’t the right word. “Should” was better. She didn’t date. Period. Kelly had cured her of that. God! Could she just stop thinking about Kelly? She pushed thoughts of Kelly away to focus on the more pleasant, but still slightly confusing, thoughts about Jane.

  A ding sounded when Anaya’s response arrived.

  Fraternal. My sister Rayann is much prettier than me. As far as smiling goes, I do. All the time. But smiling for pictures makes me self-conscious.

  So, no connection to Jane. It was probably for the best. It would make work a little uncomfortable if she found out she was chatting up her sister. Why? She wasn’t sure. It just would.

  I find it hard to believe your sister could be prettier than you. You have a beautiful smile.

  She sent it without editing herself. Her thoughts about Jane made her forget her self-consciousness, which was the only way she could justify being so bold. She regularly gave compliments, but not usually to total strangers on dating websites who might take her remarks differently than they were intended. Like they meant something more. Because they didn’t.

  Thank you, Izzy. You’re very kind.

  Izzy hesitated. The buzz was completely gone. Did she want to continue talking to this pretty stranger? It wouldn’t go anywhere. She rubbed the center of her chest. The familiar tightness was back. She did have research to do. Just being honest, really. She searched her mind for a way to say good night.

  Well, thank you anyway.

  You’re welcome.

  Will you send me a picture? Maybe just a quick selfie, so I can see who I’m talking to.

  She did not want to send a picture. I’m a mess. I took a run earlier, and I have hat-hair.

  I don’t care what you look like. I just want to see your eyes.

  Her anxiety spiked, but why did she care? It was just research. She took a quick picture of herself with the camera on her laptop. Her hair actually wasn’t as bad as she thought. She sent the picture before she could second-guess herself.

  If that’s a mess, I want to see you when you clean up. You have such warm eyes and a beautiful smile.

  Izzy was embarrassed. Thanks.

  I want to keep chatting with you, Izzy, but I have an early morning tomorrow. Can I message you again?

  Izzy thought about it. Messaging wasn’t a big deal, right? Until it turned to something more. She bounced her leg. She had complete control over whether it turned into anything else.

  Sure. I don’t come on here much, though.

  We’ll see how it goes, then. Good night, Izzy.

  Anaya’s profile went to inactive.

  Izzy breathed out and rubbed her face. She was sweating. Had she really just chatted someone up on a dating website? She wasn’t sure how she felt about it. Izzy scrolled through the message thread to make sure she hadn’t made a fool of herself. Instead, she came off as more confident than she thought.

  Proud of herself, she tossed the laptop onto the bed and got up for some ice cream.

  Gus didn’t even notice.

  * * *

  Ready to go out on a date? You’ve done the prep work, gotten to know some people, and
have an idea of what you want, so it’s time!

  To get started, there are mainly two kinds of people: those who do the asking and those who wait to be asked. Some lucky people are in the middle and are good with both. If in the middle describes you, awesome! If you’re the type to do the asking, that’s also good, because the ball is in your court. The hardest part is figuring out how you’re going to do it.

  If you’re the type who waits to be asked, well, it might be a little trickier. And if you’re super shy, you could end up doing a lot of waiting before someone notices you’re interested in being asked out. It’s okay, though. It just requires a little more maneuvering on your part. You’ll need to let the person you want to date know you wouldn’t mind going out with them if they asked. You can do this subtly or you can do it brazenly. This advice goes back to the chapter on flirting. However you decide to do it, you just need to make your availability and willingness clear.

  Chapter Eleven

  “How’s the chapter on flirting going, Iz? Did you finally get it kicked out, or do you need a demonstration?” Izzy, Audie, and Jane were at the pick-up window of the Traveling Bean, which was parked outside of the Gigify campus. They waited for their coffee orders before finding a table in the shade.

  Izzy rolled her eyes. “I’m good, thanks.”

  A passel of software engineers sitting at a nearby table looked at Izzy with interest, and one laughed and nudged the one to his left. She knew them from random meetings, but not personally. A bubble of self-consciousness rolled in her stomach. Were they talking about her writing the book? Or did she have a booger hanging from her nose? She rubbed her nose.

  Regardless of whether Izzy was comfortable with it or not, most of the company knew she was working on the book because of Audie. Aside from explaining what it was about and why she, of all people, was writing it, Izzy was mostly okay with it. Folks were interested and eager to give their insight, which made things easier for her when she was delving into subjects outside her experience. The acknowledgments section was going to be a novel of its own!

  “You sure you don’t need to see a demonstration of an expert at work?” Audie’s eyes were focused on something behind Izzy. Was that drool glistening on Audie’s lips?

  Izzy looked over her shoulder. Ah! The company-sponsored cross-fit class. She should have known. They were in the middle of their morning routine. Izzy could see the instructor in her mind’s eye, looking all sporty in her micro shorts and sports bra, all six of her abdominal muscles tanned and defined, glistening with sweat as she marched between her students telling them to give her another ten super-hard cross-fitty somethings.

  “What? Are you gonna go interrupt them in the middle of their workout with a subtle ‘How you doin’?’” Izzy asked.

  Jane laughed, and a buzzy, happy tremble flitted through Izzy’s chest at the sound.

  “Give me some credit here.” Audie gestured toward the group. “She looks like she’s thirsty. I’d take her a bottle of water and my phone number. It’s all in the interest of research, though. I’d be helping you out.”

  “I’m sure you would.” Izzy took her coffee from the barista. “But I finished that chapter a week ago. I’m on the asking-someone-on-a-date chapter now.”

  It had also been a week since her online chat with Anaya. The more she thought about it, and despite the acid reflux it seemed to cause, the more she talked herself into actually doing the things she wrote about. She could call it field research. Who was going to listen to her advice if she couldn’t speak from experience? Plus, there was something about Anaya. She snuck a look at Jane. They really could be twins. Maybe. Whatever it was, she was ready for the next step. A gurgle of anxiety trembled in her stomach.

  “The chapter you’re talking about sounds super interesting and fun.” Jane accepted her mocha from the barista. A dollop of whipped cream slid down the side, and Jane licked it up before it dropped.

  A tremble of another sort echoed a little lower in Izzy’s body, and she forced her gaze away from Jane’s pink tongue licking the whipped cream from her plump lips. Stop it! All this book research has turned you into a horny coed!

  “I can give you tips on the asking-someone-on-a-date chapter, too, Iz.” Audie was looking at her now. Had Audie watched her objectify Jane and the whipped cream?

  “I think this chapter is going to be harder than the flirting one. I’m not sure I’ve actually asked someone out on a date before. It’s been so long since I’ve even been on one.”

  She said she wasn’t sure, but she was. She and Kelly had never dated per se. They’d just sort of fallen into bed together after a softball game. Their relationship had consisted of several months of urgent sex and times between when she thought about nothing else but getting Kelly into bed again. Lust and love had hit her hard at the same time, but they hadn’t ever really dated.

  She hadn’t dated Siobhan, either. They’d met at a company conference in Las Vegas, and their rooms had been next to one another. After one of the dinners, they’d walked back to their rooms, and when Izzy was unlocking her door, Siobhan had kissed her. She’d been too shocked to do anything other than respond to her body, which really, really liked what Siobhan did to her. Siobhan had gone back to Ireland the next morning. Long-distance didn’t work very well, and after a year of never seeing each other, they both had agreed it wasn’t working and they’d remained friends.

  God. Thinking about it all made Izzy’s stomach ache.

  Suffice it to say, Izzy had no experience at all with dating, and the mere thought of it made her physically ill.

  She watched Audie dump several packets of artificial sweetener into her coffee, stir it, and then put the wooden stirrer into her mouth. “It’s easy. You just ask someone if they want to do something you both enjoy doing.”

  She said it as if it were the easiest thing in the world. And for her, it probably was. Izzy didn’t know the first thing about asking someone out on a date. The prospect terrified her. “What if you don’t know what they enjoy? What if they say no?”

  Audie chewed on the stirrer. “You find out during the flirting. If they flirt back, they’ll probably say yes. And usually, you get to know a little about someone.”

  “Eating is always a good choice,” Jane said. “Or coffee. Meeting up during the day doesn’t come with all the pressure, and you can leave after a short amount of time if it isn’t working out.”

  Izzy tipped her cup toward Jane. “Good idea.”

  “Oh, boy. Are you thinking about asking someone specific out? Like, a real person?” Audie put her cup on the table and looked at her expectantly.

  Jane put her cup down, too, and looked at her.

  Izzy wasn’t sure she appreciated the disbelief.

  Both of them watched her so avidly, clearly waiting for the answer, Izzy suddenly felt a little scared. “Maybe. I haven’t made up my mind.”

  “Who?” they asked in unison.

  Izzy stared at her coffee cup, glanced up at them, and went back to staring at the cup. “A woman I’ve been talking to online.”

  She glanced up again to gauge their responses. Jane wore a weird expression, and Audie looked amused.

  Audie pointed at her. “You didn’t tell me you were talking to someone online.”

  Jane looked at her phone. “I have to get back for a meeting.”

  “We still on for lunch today?” Izzy asked as Jane got up.

  “I’m not sure. It depends on what work Hector has for me.” Jane sounded a little distracted. “I’ll let you know.”

  Izzy watched Jane walk back toward the building. Her thick, black braid glistened in the sun.

  “Who’s this online woman?” Audie nudged her arm. “How long have you been talking to her?”

  “Only a week. She seems really nice.”

  Audie wiggled her eyebrows. “You’ve been trolling the dating websites?”

  “Trolling?” Izzy shot a look at her. “I don’t even know how to troll anything. It’s
solely for research.”

  “Oh, yeah. Research.”

  Audie didn’t believe her, she could tell.

  * * *

  Later that evening, Izzy sat at her desk in her home office and logged into her personal email. She hadn’t mustered the courage to log into the dating website since her last chat with Anaya. What if Anaya saw her online and messaged her? She’d made up her mind to ask her out on a date, but it didn’t mean she wasn’t terrified of it. She needed a little time to get there.

  Nestled in among the email from various organizations she donated to was a notification from the dating website that she had an unread message from Anaya.

  She froze. Excitement in her gut mingled with paralyzing fear. She sat there staring at the email for several minutes before selecting the link taking her to the app to view the message. Her fingers moved with numb effort.

  Why was she so scared?

  She knew exactly why. She was venturing into perilous territory. She breathed out. This time would be different. She was going in with knowledge and no expectations. It was only research. She could protect herself.

  She read the message, and all of her anxiety fell away. A single unassuming line. Hope to see you online sometime soon!—A. So normal. So unthreatening.

  A subtle ding sounded, and the instant message icon lit up.

  Hey, Izzy! How was your day?

  It was Anaya. A pang of excitement flared along with a little of the anxiety she’d built up over the last few days.

  Good. How was yours?

  I finally finished a big project I’ve been working on, and it closed under budget and on time. It’s a pretty big deal. So, it was a really good day.

  Congratulations!

  Thanks! How would you like to meet me somewhere for a celebratory drink?

  Anaya had turned the tables.

  Sure. When?

  Her fingers were numb again.

  Tonight? Unless you have something else going on or something.

  Tonight? She couldn’t. It was too quick.