“I’ve half a mind to start a betting pool,” said Raven. “The lady, or the Luger?”
“So that’s it?” demanded Tanner. The two smiling faces seemed unreal, and he felt light-headed, as if he were floating in that white empty space. “I just pop out of existence when the past catches up to me, and I won’t even see it coming?”
“Something like that,” said Raven. “I admit this will be the first time I’ve witnessed the phenomenon. My soul is all on tippy-toes with childlike wonder.”
“And there’s nothing I can do about it.” Even his own voice sounded strange and distant; he wondered if he was on the verge of blinking out of the world even now.
Melisande pursed her mouth thoughtfully and gazed into the distance. “That is a fascinating question,” she said. “Can you reclaim your past? Considering that it exists only in your memory, it would seem doubtful.”
“But if Joy can remember too—” He stopped, fearing he’d already said too much.
“Will she want to, though?” Raven inquired. “Her life is so much more pleasant now. No baby to derail her education and burden her youth. No moody, underemployed husband with a metric ton of emotional baggage. Just a normal life with parents who love her and an undemanding boyfriend whose worst fault is an awkward fashion sense. She may resist any dredging up of the past that you try to force on her.”
Melisande rose from the sofa, her body’s movements supple under the silken robe as she advanced toward him, smiling. Always smiling. “It’s only fair to warn you,” she purred, “that if you try to force those memories on her—to convince her that the reality she thinks she knows is false—it could destroy her. It could break her mind. Do you want to take that risk?”
“You’re lying,” he said. “Joy is the strongest person I know.”
She gave him a pained look as if she had expected better of him, and glided past him toward the stairs. Over her shoulder she said, “You only wish that were true.”
“You’d say anything to get back at me and Joy.” He had to direct the words to her back. “I’d be an idiot to listen to you—either of you.”
Raven rose from his chair and straightened his cuffs. “Well, since you bring it up, Tristan, your mental processes aren’t always of the highest caliber.” He followed Melisande toward the stairs, adding, “Maybe you are the pretty but stupid type after all.”
“What am I supposed to do, then?” Tanner demanded. “Sit here in prison and wait to vanish from the face of the earth?”
Melisande paused at the foot of the staircase, one slender white hand resting on the railing, and regarded him. “I think I’m going to let you go this time—if that’s what you truly want. You know that part of you still wants to stay here, very much. You remember what it was like to be in my good graces, to taste the delights of life with me.”
He wanted to tell her in blistering language what she could do with her delights, but she would probably just find that amusing. “I’ll pass,” he said briefly.
Her shrug was unconcerned. “Do as you wish, then. Fight for your life, or accept the inevitable. Shake the memories loose in the girl’s head and risk destroying her, or nobly refrain from troubling the balance of her mind—and wait for the consequences to swallow you up. The decision is yours.” She looked at him almost with affection. “The pleasure for me is in watching. And my eyes are everywhere.”
With that, she ascended the stairs, her bare feet silent on the bleached pine boards. Raven gave a mocking half bow and tossed something through the air toward him. Tanner’s hand reached up of its own accord and caught it without any intention on his part. It was the key to his bike.
“Tick-tock,” said Raven lightly, and followed his mistress out of the room.
* * *
William couldn’t explain the restlessness that had dogged him throughout the winter break. He had stayed with the Sumners before, and was comfortable with their household rhythms; he had guest quarters in the basement, where he could retreat if he tired of all the family togetherness and wanted to be alone. The Sumners were as welcoming as ever; it was exciting to talk music with Anna, and Steven (it was weird to call him that, since he was always “Dr. Sumner” at school) was a little formal but basically cool. And Joy was—well—Joy. He was as comfortable with her as if he had known her his whole life. They got along perfectly, never fighting; Maddie always said that they were the lowest-drama couple she’d ever met. But then, Maddie was always on the outs with her current boyfriend; she and Eric were the fightingest couple on campus. In contrast, just about anyone else was low drama.
With his thoughts already on Maddie it was startling to see her name come up on his phone when it rang. She sounded breathless and hurried. “William? Are you at the Sumners’?”
“Yeah. What’s up?”
“Can I talk to Dr. Sumner? His number’s not in my phone.”
That took him by surprise. “Hold on, let me find him.” He’d been stretched out on the basement futon watching DVDs, and as he trudged up the basement steps he was aware of her rattling on, but he tuned her out. She was always consulting him to get a guy’s opinion on her boyfriend dramas, but she never listened to anything he said, so he’d gotten into the habit of only giving her part of his attention. It was a little less painful that way.
He found Anna and Joy in the kitchen making a late lunch of sandwiches. “It’s Maddie Rosenbaum,” he told them. “She wants to talk to Dr. Sum—I mean, Steven.”
“He had to go in to the office for the afternoon. You can give her his cell number, though.” Anna handed him her phone, and he scrolled through the contact list as Maddie’s urgent chatter continued in his ear.
Joy caught his eye and smiled. “What’s the drama du jour?” she asked in an undertone, and he just shook his head and shrugged. It was always something with Maddie.
“Okay, Maddie, I’ve got his number,” he said, and he was reeling it off for her when the doorbell rang and Joy went to answer it. Anna carried the sandwich plates into the dining room, and William followed her, saying “uh huh” at intervals into the phone.
Joy was standing at the front door with that model guy, Tanner, from earlier that day. So he must have settled that stuff with the police and Melisande—but even from here, he looked tense, not at all as if he was out of trouble.
“I can’t,” Joy was saying in a low, hurried voice. “It’s not appropriate.”
“It could be life or death.” Tanner’s voice was as low and urgent as hers. Then he caught sight of the others and broke off. “Uh, hi,” he said. “Is Steven here?”
“You must be Tanner,” said Anna, with a friendly smile. “I’m afraid you’ve missed my husband again; he’s gone to his office. He’s certainly in demand today! Is there anything we can help you with?”
Tanner hesitated, looking for some reason at Joy, but she didn’t give him any guidance. “Maybe,” he said slowly.
“William?” buzzed Maddie’s voice, and he brought the phone closer to his ear.
“Sorry,” he said. “I got distracted. Did you need anything else?”
“I love you,” she said. “Don’t marry Joy. Gotta go.”
She broke the connection, and he stared at the dead phone in his hand.
He’d misunderstood her: that was his first thought. He wasn’t sure what other, logical, normal words could have sounded like what he thought he’d heard her say, but that had to be it.
Unless—and the idea made his mouth twist wryly—she was having some fun with him. She did tease him from time to time; he knew that she deliberately tried to make him blush, and often succeeded. She must have figured out somehow that he used to have a crush on her, and she would do outrageous things to get a reaction out of him. But this was a whole other level. It wasn’t like her to be manipulative.
Could it be possible that she really meant it?
He couldn’t even let himself think that. He’d known Maddie too long. He knew she’d never been interested in him, and aft
er almost three years of futile crushing on her he was glad he’d finally realized that Joy was right for him. Someone he’d always felt comfortable with, who never made him feel inadequate or nerdy or foolish, the way Maddie sometimes did, even if she didn’t realize it.
What if he’d been wrong, though? What if waiting a little longer for Maddie was the choice he should have made?
But it wasn’t fair to Joy to even be thinking about this. She was the perfect girlfriend: cute, good-natured, and understanding about the importance of music in his life; she never complained that he rehearsed too much, although once in a while she joked that he just dated her to get to spend time with her mom. Joy was the right girl for him, no question.
He slipped his phone into the back pocket of his jeans and tuned in to what the others were talking about. Anna and the visitor were talking music, but Tanner’s answers were absent, and his eyes kept going to Joy. She, on the other hand, was avoiding the looks he was giving her, and when William sat down on the sofa next to her, she gave him a quick nervous smile. Nervous why? Was she still worried about this guy? Clearly he hadn’t been thrown in jail.
“You must’ve worked something out with Melisande and the cops,” he said.
“It was a misunderstanding. We got it sorted out.”
“Tanner was just saying he’s been working on a song,” Anna told him. “He’d like to get our feedback on it.”
“Sure, man, glad to help. You got an audition coming up?”
“This is just a… a personal project. Only I don’t have my guitar with me. If I could borrow yours…”
William’s guitar was still beside the sofa where he’d parked it earlier. He handed it over, and Tanner tested a few chords, getting accustomed to the feel of the instrument. He looked more at ease with the guitar in his hands.
“It’s kind of an old-fashioned song,” he said. “Like the old Child ballads that everyone was singing in the seventies.”
“Nice,” said Anna. “I recorded an album of those myself.”
“Does it have a title?” asked Joy, as William settled more comfortably into the sofa and wrapped an arm around her.
A moment of silence. Then, heavily, “It never needed one before.”
The melody was plaintive, with a slightly eerie turn to it. His fingers moved lightly over the strings in a Travis picking pattern, with none of the muddy chord strumming that William was used to hearing from guys auditioning for the band. He cleared his throat and in a slightly husky baritone sang:
I walked among the gravestones
To seek some comfort there
The dead, they do not judge me
And tales they do not bear.
I once did have a sweetheart
A merry maid was she
She swore to be my true love
And follow only me.
William gave Joy a quick, secret smile that meant, How emo can you get? But Joy frowned at him, and presently William found that he was being drawn into the story in spite of himself. Tanner was a gifted player, and so skillful at conveying the sorrow of the song’s narrator that William started to wonder if he was telling a story about himself. Had he lost the girl he loved? Maybe she had dumped him, and he had dressed that mundane breakup in the clothes of a classic love song.
However commonplace the story behind the song, his sincerity was clear. His voice held so much emotion that William felt sorry for the guy in spite of herself. All at once he thought of Maddie, of the years of watching her and aching for her while she was oblivious to him. The song brought back the pain of those years as if it had never ended.
He tightened his arm around Joy to remind himself that he’d moved on. All that was in the past.
But what if it wasn’t? That phone call had unsettled everything.
Tanner had reached the last two verses now.
Now in that country churchyard
I found her there tonight
And spoke to my poor sweetheart
Alone in the moonlight.
And on her grave I planted
The last gift I could give:
A wild white rose to honor
The life she’d never live.
“It’s terribly sad,” Joy said softly, when the last notes were dying out. “And it’s familiar somehow. I feel as if I know it from somewhere.”
“Really?” His eyes were eager on her face. “Does it have some meaning for you?”
“It’s probably familiar because it’s a variation on a tune I recorded for that folk album,” said Anna calmly. “Joy, you remember: Child ballad 39. It goes back centuries.”
“Yes, the tune is traditional,” said Tanner. Again his gaze returned to Joy, and his words seemed weighted with a significance he expected her to understand. “But the lyrics—they don’t suggest anything special to you? They don’t remind you, say, of a night in a graveyard—in secret—”
She shook her head helplessly. “I’m sorry, I’m not getting it. Is it a movie reference or something?”
Tanner was still watching her with that searching, almost hungry expression, and Joy dropped her eyes as if it made her uncomfortable. Why should he think the song would have a special meaning for her? They had only met a few hours ago. William began to wonder if this guy was trying to edge him out. It was probably disloyal to be so surprised by the idea, but he had never thought of Joy as the kind of girlfriend someone would try to steal.
And that wasn’t really what seemed to be going on. Tanner wasn’t being suave and trying to charm her. If anything, he was putting her off with his intensity. The uncomfortable thought came to him: was that how he had looked at Maddie for so long?
When Joy’s ringtone went off she jumped, and as she spoke into her phone Tanner handed William back his guitar. “Thanks,” he said. “What do you think?”
“You’re good.” He couldn’t help kind of liking the guy; he seemed on the level somehow. “Depending on your audience, you may want to scale back the drama a little, though. I mean, you sell it, but—”
“It’s for you,” Joy interrupted, speaking to Tanner. “Dad says for you to meet him at his office right away.”
“Guess I’d better go, then.” He stood up but hesitated as if not sure how to say goodbye. Anna rose and gave him a warm smile.
“I’m glad you stopped by. It’s always flattering to know that the new generation of musicians still finds inspiration in us oldsters.” She led the way to the door. “Remind my vagrant husband that we’re having stroganoff tonight, would you? If he’s late, the noodles will be mushy.”
“Sure,” said Tanner almost inaudibly, and his eyes were once more riveted to Joy as Anna shut the door on him.
“Interesting young man,” was Anna’s verdict. “He’s sure taken with you, hon.”
Joy started. “What? No he isn’t.”
“Oh, he is,” William seconded. “He couldn’t take his eyes off you.”
“He’s got me confused with someone else. I never saw him before today.”
But the visit seemed to trouble her. She hardly said a word for the rest of the afternoon, and at supper, which Dr. Sumner didn’t come home for, she was so quiet that William and Anna might as well have been eating alone. When he and Joy were cleaning up after supper and he turned around to find her standing in the middle of the kitchen staring into space, he took hold of her chin and gave it a gentle shake.
“Joy, you’ve wandered off,” he said.
She gave a guilty laugh. “I’m sorry. I just can’t stop thinking about that guy. Tanner.”
“Well, I don’t blame you. If he was any prettier, I’d have a crush on him.”
“Don’t be silly, it’s not that. He was just so sad. The way he sang that song… it’s like his heart was breaking right in front of us, as we watched.”
Her voice cracked, and, touched, he put his arm around her. Joy’s soft heart made her prone to take others’ problems on herself. “Hey,” he said soothingly. “He’s a big boy, he can work things
out for himself. But you know, that could have just been a performance. Maybe he was trying it out on us before going to a real audition.”
“Maybe.” She didn’t seem to believe that, though. He tried another tack to cheer her up.
“Or maybe,” he said, “maybe it’s part of his shtick—you know, the name Tristan means ‘sorrowful.’ That could be his gimmick, what sets him apart from all the other pouty pretty-boy model-musicians.” He stuck out his lower lip, pulled his hair down into his face, and gave her a droopy-eyed look. “This is me being all deep and emotional and tortured. I call it the Heathcliff Hotness Ray.”
She managed to produce a smile. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.” Then she added in a different voice, “Didn’t he say he needed to see Dad about applying for college? I’ll bet he’s trying to get into a music school and figured it wouldn’t hurt to get Anna Merridew Sumner and her family’s recommendation.”
He hadn’t struck William as being that calculating, but he saw that Joy’s chin was set at its most determined angle and took the path of keeping the peace. “I’ll bet that’s it. Come on, let’s get the leftovers put away and then I’ll beat you at Joss Whedon Trivial Pursuit.”
“You always beat me at that,” she grumbled, but the worry had left her face for the first time since that strange musical interlude. Maybe now she’d be able to put their strange visitor out of her mind.
Chapter 12
Tanner took the Ninja up to eighty before he remembered that the cops would be all too happy to run him in. He dropped the speed down to five miles over the limit as he neared the turnoff from Highway 64.
He wouldn’t know until he saw Steven if he remembered that they had engineered—or bungled—the present they were living in. Steven might not know that Raven was still around, but he definitely would have noticed that Tan and Rose weren’t in residence. The question was whether he knew that that wasn’t right. Tanner gritted his teeth as he took a curve too fast and forced himself to slow down. He wouldn’t be any good to Joy and Rose—wouldn’t be able to get them back—if he was in the hospital.
Among the Shadows (The Ash Grove Chronicles) Page 14
