The Survivor

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  After a brief pause, Lucy nodded, then two twin tears rolled down her face, followed by a loud sob. With a gasp, she pushed a fist to her mouth. “I’m sorry.”

  Mattie hugged her close. “Is Calvin sick?”

  “Nee. We g-got in a f-fight!”

  Startled by the admission, Mattie pulled away. “Truly? What happened?”

  “He got upset with me.”

  “Over what?”

  The tears started coming again. Just as another knock was heard at the door.

  After one quick glance their way, Mattie’s mom opened the door. “Calvin! Hello.”

  “Mrs. Lapp. Good afternoon.”

  “And the same to you.”

  He nodded, looking uncomfortable.

  With a curious look Mattie’s way, her mom said, “Did you need something?”

  He pulled off his hat and looked across the room toward Lucy. In response, Lucy covered her face with her hands.

  Alarmed, Mattie stood up to shield her cousin. “Calvin, perhaps you could come back in a bit?”

  “Nee. I need to see my frau.” He stepped inside without another word, his face stormy. He approached the couch.

  Lucy was still crying, and looked to be doing her best to burrow into the cushions. Mattie stepped forward and held up a hand. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think you should see her right now.”

  Just a few feet from Lucy, he stopped. “Why on earth not?”

  “Because I don’t want you to hurt her,” she blurted, old feelings surfacing. Remembering how helpless she’d felt during Lucy’s first marriage.

  At that moment, Lucy’s head popped up and Calvin’s expression became one of complete amazement. “What are you talking about?” he asked.

  “You know,” Mattie said weakly. “Lucy’s been through so much. She doesn’t need your temper.”

  He stepped to his right, obviously trying to catch Lucy’s eye. “Lucy?” he whispered. “Lucy, is that what’s wrong? Are you afraid of me?”

  After the slightest of hesitations, she shook her head.

  But Mattie saw that Calvin had seen the hurt on her face.

  Eyes dark, he scowled at Mattie. “I don’t think you understand. I would never hurt Lucy. Never.”

  Still determined to shield Lucy no matter what, Mattie lifted her chin. “I know you wouldn’t mean to, but . . .”

  With an irritated look, he stepped toward Lucy and knelt at her feet.

  Mattie was so dumbstruck by the action, she moved to the side, then looked toward her mom, who also wasn’t even trying to be inconspicuous. Mattie stepped closer to her mother and grasped her hand.

  “Lucy, mein lieb,” he whispered, grasping her hand. “I thought you knew my words stemmed from worry.”

  “Y-you were so mad.”

  “Lucy, you were holding that bag of flour.”

  “I know.”

  “Did you know it was mighty heavy? Perhaps too heavy for you?”

  Mattie looked to her mother in confusion. Little by little the worry left her mother’s features and a sweet smile appeared.

  Just as Calvin spoke again. “You know I’d be so upset if anything happened to you, or the baby.”

  Baby? Shock coursed through Mattie as she gaped at her mom.

  Her mom pressed a finger to her lips, signaling for her to stay quiet.

  “But I told you I wasna helpless,” Lucy said.

  “I know that. But you are special to me. You are everything, jah? You and the boppli.” Right then and there, he leaned forward, held Lucy’s jaw between his two hands, and kissed her.

  As she watched the happy couple, Mattie smiled. Then started to laugh. Oh, it was so good to not be thinking about her problems.

  It was so good to think about blessings! “Lucy, you’ve got something to tell us, jah?” she said with a giggle.

  Her mother squeezed her shoulder. “I don’t think she heard you, dear.”

  When Mattie glanced at Lucy and Calvin again, they were still kissing, Calvin at Lucy’s feet. Just like there was no one else in the world but them.

  A lump formed in Mattie’s throat. That was what she wanted. Love. Love like that. A love so consuming that no one else existed.

  She wasn’t sure if she’d ever find it, but Mattie knew she was willing to try.

  Even if she wasn’t perfect. Even if she was scarred.

  No matter what, a love like that was surely worth everything indeed.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Graham, the day’s over, man,” Scott, Graham’s shift manager, called out with more than a touch of exasperation in his voice. “It’s time to call it a day and go home.”

  Still trying to get a hinge in place, Graham mumbled, “I will. As soon as I finish this project.”

  “Leave it, why don’t you? It will still be there tomorrow. Honestly, you work harder than any man I know.”

  Finally giving him his full attention, Graham glanced at his boss with amusement. “That’s supposed to be a good thing.”

  “It is, except when you’re making the rest of us look bad,” Scott teased right back. “Now, go put up your tools and join us if you want. My wife made peanut butter bars this morning and dropped them by for everyone.”

  A glance to the large, white-faced clock above him on the wall told the rest of the story. It was ten after five, and time to go. The owners of Crossing Construction and Doors didn’t pay often for overtime. They valued family and church, and didn’t see any need to impose on other areas of their workers’ lives.

  “I’ll be right there.” Peanut butter bars sounded good. And, now that he thought about it, stopping for the day sounded good, too. Though it was as cold as could be in the large, cavernous space, he felt sweat trickle down his back. For the last three hours, he’d been intent on putting brackets on some decorative pieces. The job had been as frustrating as it had been difficult, manipulating the big pieces of wood around like he had. After wiping off his worktable, he headed to the washroom to clean up.

  Minutes later, he was sipping a glass of icy cider and biting into his first bite of the peanut bar. Both were very welcome. “Thanks for pouring me a glass, Scott.”

  “It’s a fair trade. You brought me those two loaves of bread the other day. My wife is still talking about how good they were.”

  Graham drained his glass. “I’ll let my mamm know,” he said. It had been no trouble to ask his mother to make an extra loaf of bread or two. He’d also learned that Scott and the other managers treated the employees more like friends than hourly workers. With that in mind, men were often bringing in drinks or treats to share.

  “Don’t know what we used to do without you, Graham,” Scott said. “I’m always eager to see what you’ve got in your lunch pail. It’s truly amazing, the amount of food you can put away.”

  He’d always been on the skinny side. Because of that, he’d never been shy about eating his share, and anyone else’s too. “Hard work makes me hungry,” he said with a laugh.

  Scott grinned. “Plus, we’re getting mighty used to your jokes. No one makes as awful ones as you.”

  “It’s a gift from God, I’m sure.”

  “You’re a gut fit here, Graham,” Scott finally said. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  “Danke.” Ever since he’d started, Graham had been happy that he’d made the choice to work in the factory thirty hours a week instead of only helping Calvin farm their land.

  He’d needed his own identity, and he’d needed time to himself, in the company of other men. Unlike Calvin, who could talk to his horse all day long, and Loyal, who was content to only farm and flirt with Ella, Graham had a need to be around other people with different interests.

  So far, the men at the factory fit the bill. Well, all except for William.

  Though he’d first thought he wa
s nice enough, further conversations with him led Graham to believe that they had little in common.

  Beside him, Scott’s easy grin tightened.

  Graham stiffened as well. While William seemed to get along with everyone else, no matter how hard he tried, Graham couldn’t seem to warm up to him.

  At first, he thought it was because he’d made the mistake of introducing him to Mattie and was feeling jealous. But now Graham was slowly realizing that there were other things about William that he wasn’t completely fond of.

  He had a way about him that seemed to announce that he thought his way was the best, and that the Amish way was the only way.

  After exchanging greetings with everyone, William stopped next to Graham. “I would have thought you would be the first one to leave today.”

  “And why is that?”

  “You’ve got celebrating to do, of course.”

  Both William’s tone and the self-satisfied way he was talking grated on Graham’s nerves. “What in the world are you talking about?”

  “The party your family is hosting tonight, of course. To celebrate your sister-in-law’s pregnancy.”

  Beside him, the other men shifted uncomfortably. Graham felt just as awkward. William was speaking of women’s issues, and private, personal ones, too. Once more, it was obviously not his place to be sharing such news.

  But Graham was caught. He couldn’t very well ignore William, but if he encouraged the conversation, he felt he’d almost be violating Lucy and Calvin’s privacy. “Are you speaking of my sister-in-law Lucy?”

  “Of course. Unless Ella is expecting, too?”

  Graham shook his head, at least not that he knew of.

  William took a seat, joining the other men—and then proceeded to ignore them all as he peppered Graham with more questions. “So, I guess Calvin is pretty excited and proud.”

  “I wouldn’t know. It’s private, jah?”

  “Oh. Sure. I guess I only brought it up because when I saw Mattie yesterday, she was so happy about her friend’s news. And you know, they are especially good friends.”

  He knew that. Of course he knew that. He nodded again and moved to stand up. Usually he looked forward to visiting with Frank, Scott, and many of the other men, but William’s arrival had cast a shadow on Graham’s mood. “Well, next time I see Mattie, I’ll tell her you were thinking of her.”

  “There’s no need for you to do that. I’m going to be seeing Mattie tonight. Again.”

  Even thinking about William being alone with Mattie made his heart beat a little faster. Though at first he thought they might be a good match, Graham now was certain that Mattie deserved someone so much better than William. He was a foolish man, prone to gossip and half-truths.

  Though if he was being completely truthful with himself, Graham knew he’d have to remember that he’d half-hoped Mattie wouldn’t care for William at all.

  Actually, he’d secretly hoped that Mattie would realize that no one was as perfect for her as he was.

  But of course he could never admit that out loud.

  “I hope you will have an enjoyable time.”

  “Oh, we should. I told her we could go for a walk.”

  Scott spoke up. “In the dark? In the cold?” He curved his hands more thoroughly around his cider cup. “You’re braver than I am. The last thing I’d want to do is go out in this if I didn’t have to.”

  “It’s not that cold.”

  “It’s near freezing,” another man in their group added. “She must be some girl if she likes walking in temperatures this low!”

  “She is.” William smiled broadly. “Of course, she doesn’t get too chilled walking next to me. I keep her warm.”

  Graham stilled. Pushing aside his decision to not talk about Mattie here, he asked, “What do you mean by that? What are you doing with her?”

  William countered his question with a cool look. “What do you imagine we are doing?”

  Graham could imagine too much. His temper was flaring, and his fists were clenched in spite of his best intentions. Desperately striving for control, he said, “Mattie is a vulnerable woman . . . she shouldn’t be out in the cold . . .”

  “I’m taking care of her.” William grinned again.

  “You shouldn’t be saying such things.”

  Scott glanced Graham’s way, coughed, and then stood up. With a staying hand on William’s shoulder, he said, “If I were you, I’d leave right now.”

  But, fool that he was, William kept talking. “She’s not helpless, Graham. And though she hardly has any hair, she’s still plenty pretty.”

  “She had cancer.”

  “That’s what I mean. She’s pretty if you don’t dwell on her faults.” Getting to his feet, William smiled again.

  Though the other man probably hadn’t meant to be offensive, Graham only saw red. Before he could think the better of it, he jumped to his feet and stood right up to William.

  Though his pride was showing, Graham was pleased to see that he stood at least four inches taller. In addition, though he was wiry, he was solid. In contrast, William looked smaller and far more slight.

  Graham used this strength and size to his advantage.

  “Listen, I want you to leave her alone. Don’t see her anymore.”

  “It’s too late. I’m courting her.”

  “But—”

  “It’s not your place to say anything to me, Graham. We both know that. And listen . . . before you know it, Mattie and I will be making plans.” He turned away then, leaving Graham fuming as he and the crowd of men around him watched William’s cocky form fade into the shadows of the hallway.

  After a brief moment of silence, Frank crossed his arms over his chest. “This isn’t Christian, but a part of me really hopes that man starts messing up. He’s not a person I’m anxious to work beside anytime soon. Are you all right, Graham?”

  “Jah. I mean, yes.”

  “Is Mattie a special friend of yours?”

  She was everything to him. “Yes. She’s been my neighbor forever.”

  “She’s who you left work for the other day, right? Didn’t you take her to a doctor’s appointment or something?”

  Graham nodded. “Because of her illness, she still needs a lot of checkups. I don’t like her to go alone.”

  Scott rolled his shoulders into his thick wool coat, buttoned it, then grabbed his lunch pail. “It’s no business of mine, but if you like that woman, I’d do something.”

  “I like her . . .” But how did he describe their relationship? Were they just friends? Were they much more than that?

  “You sound pretty close.”

  “We are. But what can I do? Mattie seems to only want to be my friend.”

  “You better try harder. Graham, you don’t want her getting attached to that guy. If she does, things might go badly for her. What you have to do is start making her want to be more than just a friend.”

  “It’s not that easy.”

  Scott laughed. “You’re a handsome guy. It can’t be that hard. Make your move, or you’re going to lose her.” With a grimace, he added, “And personally, I can’t think of anything worse than having to listen to William talk about the girl you like every day.”

  That would be more than difficult. “I think you have a point.”

  “I’m glad you think so,” Scott replied. “Frankly, I’m almost tempted to tell William that he needs to watch himself. I like this workplace to feel comfortable, and want my men to feel relaxed enough to talk about their families and such. But he is almost crossing the line.”

  Graham nodded and said he’d think about what the man said, but as he drove his buggy home, he took his friend’s words to heart. Yes, something had to be done. He was going to have to make his move . . . or he was going to lose Mattie.

  And worse, she
was going to end up with a man like William.

  And that wouldn’t do. Not at all.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Jenna was running late. For the last hour, she’d been in Jacob’s Crossing finishing up the two errands Mary had asked her to accomplish before she returned home.

  The first had been easy enough. Mary had asked her to bring home two cookbooks from the library. Jenna was discovering that Mary loved to cook and try out new recipes, much to Abel’s dismay. That morning, Mary had given Jenna a list of four choices of cookbooks. “See if you can get any of them, wouldja?” she’d asked hopefully. “I’m so anxious to try out some new recipes for hamburger casseroles.”

  Mary had said hamburger like it was something wondrous and special. It had taken all Jenna’s restraint to not tease her, but of course she hadn’t. Jenna was learning that just about everything was special to Mary. She had a way of looking about her that was full of interest and fresh hope.

  After she collected the cookbooks and checked them out, she slipped on her cloak, scarf, and mittens, and headed into the chilly weather.

  Her next task should’ve been easier, but in fact it was far more difficult to complete. She needed to go to the market and pick up a dozen eggs. And there was the problem, really. Because if she had her choice, Jenna was sure she’d never step foot in the grocery again.

  All because Chris was there.

  Though she usually walked as fast as possible in the cold, she found herself slowing down to look at one family’s Thanksgiving decorations on their front porch, then stopped to pet a particularly friendly poodle that two girls were taking for a walk.

  As Jenna wasted time, the sun continued to fall. Soon the twilight glow would fade into night, and walking back to Mary’s home in the dark wasn’t something she wanted to do.

  So she steeled her shoulders and pushed open the glass door, then exhaled in relief as she realized the store was fairly busy. This was wunderbaar! All she would have to do was scurry to the dairy section, grab the eggs, and walk to the cash register.

  If she kept her head down, she wouldn’t see him, and maybe he wouldn’t see her, either.