Vampires Drink Tomato Juice

by K. M. Shea

  Doggy sneezed on my collar bone.

  “That’s what I thought,” I wryly replied.

  To his credit, Doggy did quite well. (Although I was a little out of breath after hauling myself and the little dragon up two sets of stairs.) I started walking around the perimeter of the room and would have walked right past the kitsune hallway if Doggy hadn’t dragon-barked at me and nearly thrown himself out of my arms.

  (I had to wonder how I missed the hallway; the walls were covered with foxes that were jumping, sleeping, eating, playing, etc.)

  But even I knew when we reached the intersection with the Chinese dragon hallway. A sculpture of a Chinese dragon (which is really long and doesn’t have wings, unlike European dragons) hung in the hallway, and up and down the dragon corridor were paintings of Chinese dragons that literally slithered across the walls.

  “I’m supposed to take a left…I think,” I said before Doggy yipped, agreeing with me.

  I stared at the doors on the right, but there none of them were decorated with red dragons. “Did Corona send me down the wrong hallway?” I wondered, turning around.

  “Can I help you?” someone asked.

  I turned around, again, and couldn’t but smile given that Corona had been absolutely right. “You’re Asahi?” I guessed.

  11

  I Tutor the Morning Light

  Asahi’s hair is the richest gold color I’ve ever seen. His eyes are gold as well, the reflective color of real gold. Like someone had melted gold bars and fashioned eyes for him. His skin was not pale, but bronze, like he was a surfer or something. Asahi’s smile was too big and too white for him to look like Legolas. But he had that mystical air everyone thinks elves have, even though he was far more personable.

  Plus, his clothes were pretty weird. They looked more like something a prince from Arabian Nights would wear than an elf. On his upper half, he wore nothing but a shimmering gold vest that was encrusted with jewels. Earrings dripped from his tapered ears, and a gold circlet with an amber drop circled his head.

  His pants were cream colored and kind of poufy. They were tucked into gold boots, but they also had gold embroidery on them as well as other glittering jewels and gems.

  Asahi was so much like the stereotypical, beautiful elves, and yet he was not. He glittered like the morning sun, and he had that haunting beauty with the high cheek bones and long, pretty hair that everyone pictures elves as having…. Still, when I was picturing High Elf, I hadn’t exactly been thinking of a prince waltzing out of Aladdin.

  I’d have to apologize to Corona for doubting her one-word description.

  “I am Asahi,” the elf acknowledged. (I was slightly disappointed; his voice didn’t sound very melodic or elf-like, but it was warm like his name.) “And you are?” he asked. His earrings clinked as he tipped his head to the side.

  “I’m sorry, I’m Morgan Fae,” I said, glancing down as Doggy jumped off me, hovering in the air for a few seconds by beating his little wings before he fell to the ground.

  The little dragon snorted before setting off down the hallway, hopefully going back to the main desk.

  “Oh, Morgan!” the warmth in Asahi’s voice increased by ten degrees Fahrenheit. “You’re going to be my tutor.”

  “Uh-huh. I’m sorry, but I think I might be a little late. I was having a hard time finding the room,” I nervously said, rubbing my sweaty palms together.

  “There’s no need to apologize,” Asahi laughed. “It’s this door right up here,” he said, gesturing up the hallway before leading away.

  I could tell I was going to need my mantra if this guy was my student.

  Think of Brett. Think of Brett.

  He was too good-looking and sweet for his own good.

  “Um, so exactly what am I supposed to teach you?” I asked, still smiling like a dope as I trailed after the sparkling high elf.

  “Whatever you like. I am very interested in humans. I’ve never met one that’s under the age of forty,” Asahi said, twisting his neck so he could smile at me.

  He had a nice smile. It was like sunning yourself on the beach.

  “Okay,” I said as we stopped just outside a door on the left side that had a red dragon on it. (So Corona had gotten her directions wrong! Hah!)

  Asahi opened the door for me, and I stepped into the already lit room.

  I immediately felt dwarfed.

  The room was huge. It was fan shaped with a white board in the front where I would presumably stand. The rest was filled with desks for students. It reminded me of a college lecture room, with the exception that all the lights were burning phoenix feathers, and the ceiling (which was quite high) was decorated in stars that not only glittered, but also moved if you stared at them long enough.

  “Wow,” I said as Asahi entered the room after me, heading towards a desk in the front row as the door slowly swung shut.

  “Wait!” someone screamed before there was a crunching noise.

  A girl, who was probably a year or two younger than I was, was pinched between the door frame and the door. She gurgled, waving her arm frantically in her pinched position while her mop of white-blonde hair fell over her face.

  I lurched forward, hurrying to push the door open so she could fall inside the room.

  She fell in an ungraceful heap on the ground, her shouts muffled on the wooden ground.

  “Are you okay?” I asked, letting the door click shut before I crouched by her side. Asahi joined me, helping the girl sit up.

  She reminded me of a Victorian doll. Her skin was pale like porcelain, her hair fine and curled in perfect ringlets. She wore a frilly, black, floor-length dress that had white accents and lace.

  She looked up at me, blinking large, inky black eyes. She was quite beautiful until a goofy smile broke across her lips. “Hello.”

  “Hi. Um. Who are you?” I asked, leaning away.

  “Oh!” she said, rocketing to her feet. “I’m Madeline, and you’re Morgan,” she said, keeping her black eyes on me. When her smile widened, I could see her canines were ever so slightly more pronounced than her other teeth.

  “Are you, by chance—,” I started.

  “A vampire? Yep,” Madeline said, brushing off her dress as Asahi and I stood. “I’m here under the Pooka’s orders,” she said before leaning towards me and whispering, “He asked me to keep an eye on you when you teach the elf.”

  Devin told her to come?

  I was a little confused by that. When I saw him yesterday, he made it pretty clear he didn’t care a lick about me. Maybe she was senile? But she seemed sincere…

  “So, you’re going to be tutored, too?” Asahi asked with his warm smile.

  Madeline wasn’t affected by him and spared him a nod and a half smile before turning back to me.

  Oddly, Madeline somewhat comforted me. She seemed a little young for how I pictured Twilight vampires and everything, but she was quite pretty and pale, more fitting to be a vampire than Dave.

  At least that was what I first thought.

  Madeline twirled me to the front of the room before making a beeline for a desk.

  Asahi seemed to accept the vampire’s intrusion quite easily. He adjusted his Arabian Nights vest before joining her, the gold beads in his hair clicking as he seated himself.

  “Ready,” Madeline said, folding her hands on her desk.

  The elf and vampire stared at me for a few very awkward moments.

  “Sorry,” I nervously laughed, folding my arms across my chest as I stood there. “I don’t really know where to start.”

  “Introduction!” Madeline cheered.

  “Um, I’m Morgan Fae. I’m sixteen, and I’m currently attending high school. I’m here to teach you about…humans, I guess?”

  Asahi blinded me with another brilliant smile.

  “So…How experienced are you two when it comes to humans?” I asked.

  “I was human. Once,” Madeline said quite proudly. She wilted for a moment. “Although, that was i
n the women’s suffrage era, so I suspect things have changed quite drastically.”

  “I have been in human society less than half a dozen times. As I mentioned before, all the humans I know are over 40 and are scientists and enchanters here at the MBRC,” Asahi said.

  “Why don’t you have more experience with humans?” I asked, leaning against a podium. “I imagine we’re difficult to avoid.”

  “We stick to the magical places in the world,” Asahi clarified.

  “Places like the MBRC, the Redwood forest of California, the less-populated parts of New Zealand and America and Japan, Disney World, and Atlantis,” Madeline listed, ticking the places off on her fingers.

  “Wait, Disney World?” I interrupted.

  “The most magical place on Earth,” Madeline said.

  “Magical beings, in this age, remain isolated. We have for centuries,” Asahi explained.

  I tapped my chin. “So, do you know anything about humans?”

  “Of course. Many of us aspire to live in human society, and, at a minimum, to peacefully coexist,” Asahi nodded. “We take classes. I have even completed advanced human psychology,” he smiled.

  “I like dresses,” Madeline said.

  “Hm,” I said, digesting the information. “Is there a topic you’re particularly interested in, Asahi?” I asked. Asahi was my employer, so I may as well try to address his needs first.

  “Would teenagers and high school be acceptable?” Asahi suggested. “I only know what the centaurs have told me, and I suspect they might be biased.”

  “The emo equines? Yeah, they’re biased,” Madeline nodded.

  “For instance, what does emo even mean?” Asahi asked, acknowledging Madeline’s comment with a smile.

  I dropped my backpack on the ground before I dug out a notebook and a pen. “Okay, so topics of discussion: the meaning of emo,” I said, scribbling notes in my notebook.

  “Isn’t being emo mean being goth?” Madeline asked.

  “Not necessarily,” I corrected. “How about we look at the different subcultures of high school? Sometimes it’s pretty hard to understand, but it should be hilarious.”

  “Going over normal, everyday life would be helpful, too. What do humans do in their free time?” Asahi queried, his gold eyes burning with interest.

  I continued to scribble topics in my notebook. “A fair warning: the information I present is totally going to be biased from my opinion. What my friends and I do with our time is going to be different from the jocks, and even more different depending on the parts of the world you go to. Plus, my view on high school subcultures is going to be from my own subculture’s reference.”

  “What subculture are you?” Madeline asked with wide eyes.

  “Hmm,” I said, tapping the pen on my lower lip. “Normal?”

  “You are probably a part of your own subculture, but you don’t necessarily realize it,” Asahi brilliantly informed me.

  “I guess I’m probably a prep,” I considered.

  “What’s a prep?” Madeline asked.

  “Oh, gosh. We’re going to need Wikipedia. Can we get a computer in here and a projector?” I asked.

  “Sure. I’ll just ask my brother,” Asahi said.

  “Perfect.”

  “What’s a computer?” Madeline asked. “Is it that box thing humans spend most of their time watching?”

  I spent the better part of an hour trying to correct Madeline’s ideas of computers as well as Asahi’s misconceptions. Apparently, a professor had told him computers were how humans did magic.

  I was enjoying myself, feeling oddly vindicated by the pair’s external beauty. Storytellers hadn’t gotten everything wrong after all.

  My smugness was blown to smithereens halfway through the class.

  “Remember: TVs are what display television. That’s what we watch movies on… although you can watch DVDs on computers, too,” I trailed off as I realized how confusing human technology was.

  Madeline and Asahi gave me clueless smiles.

  “Here, let me draw you a diagram,” I hastily said, flipping a page in my notebook. “Ouch,” I muttered when a sheet of paper sliced a pad of my finger. “Paper cut,” I said, holding my finger out in front of me.

  A single drop of blood oozed out of the fresh cut. I froze, remembering I was with a vampire. I looked up, expecting Madeline to transform into some kind of salivating, starving beast.

  Her eyes were fastened on my bleeding finger, but rather than looking hungry, she looked ill. She grew pale, even though she kept her smile in place, and a second later, she tipped out of her chair, hitting the ground like a load of bricks.

  The vampire had fainted.

  I am not kidding.

  “Madeline?” I said wiping the blood off on a sheet of paper before hurrying to her side. “Are you okay?” I asked as she started coming around.

  “Oh, my, I can still smell it,” Madeline moaned, bringing up a hand to pinch her nose shut as she hunched her shoulders.

  “I’m sorry, Madeline, you must be hungry or something. Do you have any tomato juice on you?” I asked as Asahi crouched down next to me.

  “Oh, it’s not that,” Madeline said, plastering her other hand over her eyes as she slowly sat up. “I’ve got hemophobia.”

  “…What?” I asked, leaning back.

  “I’m afraid of blood,” Madeline said, turning in my direction. Her voice was pinched thanks to the hand over her nose. “It makes me sick. Thankfully, this time I only swooned. Sometimes I cannot hold onto my lunch,” she confessed.

  “You are a vampire…who is afraid of blood,” I said.

  “Yes.”

  I stood up and walked away. “I take it back. This place trashes all fairy tales known to mankind,” I muttered.

  “Drinking blood is the worst experience. I can get by on tomato juice, but my doctors insist I drink a blood cocktail once a month, otherwise I have the tendency to get woozy. But I would rather be woozy than drink blood,” Madeline complained, blindly fumbling to her desk.

  Curse you, Dave the chubby vampire. If I hadn’t met you, I wouldn’t have known what a big fat lie all my favorite childhood stories were.

  At 5:30, Asahi and Madeline escorted me down to the information desk so I could catch the train home. Madeline promised to meet me at the desk the next day to take me up to our classroom.

  Frey sent me a text message that he and Dave were going to have to take a later train. Apparently Dave was staying behind for remedial lessons because he skipped Monday to help me recover my memories.

  I was just leaving the main chamber of the MBRC, purring over my new monthly train pass, when I heard someone call my name.

  “Morgan!”

  I turned around and grinned when I spotted Sandy and Ralph, my cyclops pals, cutting through a crowd of nymphs as they hurried in my direction.

  “Sandy, Ralph! How are you guys?” I smiled when they drew close enough to me that we could talk without shouting.

  “We’re wonderful—but Morgan, why didn’t you tell us?” Sandy asked, clutching her blue purse—which matched her adorable skirt—after giving me a hug.

  “Tell you what?” I asked, distracted when I realized Ralph was wearing a pair of glasses. “Oh wow! They’ve got glasses out already? Those doctors moved fast!”

  “Not yet, actually. The researchers are having a hard time creating a pair of glasses that work well with a glamour. This pair is actually one of three styles they’re testing out. They asked me to try them on for the day,” Ralph beamed before Sandy smashed him in the arm with her purse. “I mean why didn’t you tell us, Morgan?” Ralph echoed his facial expression shifting from glee to hurt.

  “Tell you what?” I repeated.

  “That you were getting your memory modified!” Sandy said, planting her heels and frowning down at me. She was quite tall to begin with—well over six feet—but her stiletto heels really put her up there.

  “I didn’t think it was important,” I said.


  “You didn’t think it was important?” Sandy squealed, her jaw dropping.

  “What Sandra means, Morgan, is how could you think that?” Ralph said. “Because of you, we cyclopes are receiving visual aid! We owe so much to you! It was rather alarming to search for you at the information desk only to be told you had been hypnotized and would no longer be knowledgeable about the MBRC.”

  “Welcome back, by the way,” Sandy beamed, reaching out to hug me again. “I usually can’t stand it when Fairy Council Members throw their weight around, but I’m glad Devin did this time.”

  “I’m sorry guys. I should have told you,” I agreed, deciding to ignore the reference to Devin. “I was just being a teenage drama queen,” I sighed.

  “The important thing is that you’re back, and you remember,” Sandy nodded.

  “What are you up to these days? Corona told us you were no longer working at the information desk,” Ralph said, brandishing a folded newspaper at the desk that was halfway across the room.

  “She’s right. I’m tutoring a High Elf named Asahi,” I said.

  Sandy’s eyebrow flew up her forehead. “Wow. You really are an earth-shaker, aren’t you?”

  “Unbelievably so,” Ralph nodded, tapping the newspaper in his hand. “I’m half surprised there’s not an article about you in the MBRC Daily Sentinel.”

  “The what?” I asked.

  “It’s the daily newspaper that’s published by the MBRC,” Ralph said, unfolding his newspaper to pass it across to me. “It’s a useful tool that relays news to everyone in the MBRC, much the same way a local, daily newspaper does for cities and towns.”

  I stared at the day’s issue of the MBRC Daily Sentinel.

  The front page was splashed with the headline of: “MBRC Board to Approve Goblin Imports Contract.”

  Whatever that meant.

  “Cool,” I said, lacking any other relevant words.

  “Listen, Morgan. We would love to talk, but we were right about to report to the eye doctors we’re working with, and we really need to keep that appointment. I’m sorry,” Ralph said, checking his watch after he took the newspaper back.