Falling Awake

by T. A Richards Neville

This was stupid. I was arguing with a total stranger over some hormonal teenage boy who I couldn’t even stand, and wanted nothing more than to completely rid from my mind. A fresh batch of tears swelled in my eyes and a lump formed tight in my throat. I swallowed, trying to force it back down. A single tear dropped onto my lap just as Caleb brought his hand up and wiped his thumb across the wet streak on my cheek. Lingering, he held my face studying me like he was trying to understand.

  “I’m not trying to upset you,” he said in an almost defeated way. “I just don’t think you get what that guy was probably going to do to you.”

  My heart rate was accelerating by the second, and electricity thrummed in my veins from the skin on skin contact. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his beautiful, concerned face, and so we sat there, still and silent just staring at each other.

  My eyes roamed over to where his hand rested on my face, and up over his t-shirt, which clung to his tanned arms revealing the subtle muscle definition underneath, and my breathing became ragged as I took him in. He was surreal and he was here with me. My heart practically skipped a beat at the realization, and my stomach flipped over on itself. I made an involuntary gasping noise and cradled my stomach instinctively as if trying to prevent it. What was happening to me?

  “I better go.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I instantly regretted them. I couldn’t explain it but I knew I didn’t want to leave him. Not now, not ever. He took his hand away, his muscles flexing under his shirt from the action, and raked his fingers through his blonde hair, sighing.

  “Just be careful okay? There are plenty more assholes like him out there.”

  I wasn’t about to start walking around armed with pepper spray because of one dumb drunken idiot that can’t take no for an answer, but I wasn’t prepared to argue that with Caleb either.

  “I will.” I forced a tiny smile onto my face and climbed out of the truck.

  I started walking up the driveway towards my house then stopped and looked back. Caleb stood leaning against the side of the truck watching me.

  “Thanks,” I shouted into the glare of the headlights, shielding my eyes. I couldn’t see him clearly through the luminous beams, but I caught his head bow slightly in a small nod. I gave myself a few seconds to persuade my legs to move, and then finally, I went into the unlit empty house.

  Without turning on a single light, I ran straight to my bedroom where I put on the bedside lamp. Once I heard Caleb pull away, I eagerly removed my clothes and pulled my hair free from the now loose hanging bun. I ran a steaming hot shower in my en-suite bathroom and stepped under the powerful jet spray, pushing my face into the pounding droplets as steam billowed up around me. The heat felt good on my aching body and I washed away every remaining ounce of Nathans invisible grubby fingerprints; then carefully wiped away the blood from my swollen lip. It was sore to the touch and I cringed with pain every time the water caught it until I got used to the sensation, and it no longer throbbed under the scorching liquid. I washed and blow-dried my hair, and then pulled on an oversized t-shirt. Crawling under my thick peach and cream butterfly duvet, my body moulded instantly with the contours of the luxury foam mattress. Despite everything that happened tonight, I switched out the lamp and for the first time in a long time, I fell into a deep sleep where no one was watching me and the only dreams I had, were of Caleb.

  ***

  I walked into homeroom the next morning and quickly spotted Mellissa already seated at our desk, tapping away ferociously on her pink Swarovski encrusted cell.

  “Hey,” I said, sliding into the seat next to her.

  “Hey yourself.” Her black painted fingernails skimmed over the keys of her blackberry expertly.

  “Drake?” I asked, already knowing the answer. She beamed at me practically giddy with excitement, until her eyes glided down over to my mouth and her face dropped completely. “What happened to you?”

  “I’ll tell you later. It’s a long story. I want to know more about what’s going on with you anyway.” That wasn’t technically true. I just didn’t want to go over the details of last night then risk her pulling Nathan in front of the entire school and utterly showing me up. I thought my lip looked a lot better today with most of the swelling gone and could possibly go unnoticed, but apparently, I was wrong. Happy with the fact that I wanted to hear more about Drake, she dropped the matter immediately. “Pria, you’re going to love him. I can’t wait for you to meet him. He’s perfect,” she gushed, and I smiled at her obvious happiness.

  “Then I can’t wait to meet him either. He sounds great.” Normally, I would have been more than sceptical about her current crush, but I had my own reasons for feeling so optimistic that I wasn’t yet ready to share with her. I felt like Caleb was a secret, my secret, and I needed to wrap my head around these strange new feelings he brought out in me before I tried explaining it to anyone else.

  “Good morning class.” My Kelly strode into the room just as the tardy bell sounded, looking particularly smart in navy trousers, matching tie and a gleaming white shirt. He was always impeccably dressed for a fifty something man, especially when he was so eccentric. I found the contrast a little unusual. He was never on time though.

  “My apologies for running late. I had a personal emergency I needed to attend to. I do hope you will forgive me,” he said, taking his seat behind his desk. He pulled the registration book from his drawer and looked over at me. “Pria, would you mind doing the honours?” He held out the red book in front of him. I groaned inwardly and reluctantly got up. I wrapped my fingers around the book and he tugged it, pulling me closer. “Could I ask that you come and see me after school?”

  “Sure sir.” I took the register from him. “Can I ask why? I mean, am I in trouble or something?” I was slightly worried at the fact that he wanted to see me after school, rather than just say whatever he had to say now and get it over with.

  He smiled. “No, no, nothing like that. I would just like to have a chat with you that’s all.”

  “Okay sure,” I said, still not convinced. A chat with the teacher spelled trouble to me. I walked back to my seat where Mellissa sat burning daggers into the side of my head with her bright green overly made up eyes. “What was all that about?” She asked curiously.

  “He wants to see me after class.” I flipped open the book to take roll call. I read the names aloud in alphabetical order, and a lot of the class appeared to still be enjoying spring break, even though school started four days ago.

  “Rachel Scott.”

  “Here,” she replied.

  “Michael Tully.”

  There was no answer so I marked an X next to his name. Mellissa still tapped away loudly on her phone at my side.

  “Could you put that away please Miss Parry?” Mr Kelly was looking over at her with a searing look of impatience.

  She shot him a menacing look. “But it’s an emergency sir,” she pleaded, with her best impression of a puppy dog.

  “There is no emergency that would require the response to be made by text message. Now please get rid of it, or provide me with the evidence of the so called emergency.”

  “Ugh,” she scoffed, tucking it away into her bag looking royally pissed off. I looked back and forth between both of them and when I was sure they were finished, I carried on.

  “Joanna Tyler.”

  “Here.”

  “Kyle Wyatt.” No response so I gave him an X. Normally that would be the last name in the book, but there was one more jotted down at the very end in Mr Kelly’s scribble, and I blinked twice to make sure I wasn’t seeing things.

  “Caleb D’cruz.” I said the name slowly, testing the words on my lips, expecting the letters to disappear off the page any minute.

  “Here,” came a masculine voice from the doorway behind me. I dropped down into my seat hardly able to believe my ears. I was too afraid to turn around, in fear of my mind playing one hell of a nasty trick on me.

  A sea of heads shot up and twis
ted around to see whom the voice belonged to. Mellissa was one of them, and her red painted mouth dropped open as footsteps began walking toward us.

  "Oh wow…he's bad," she said none too quietly as he walked toward us. His body dipped down to my level as he passed.

  "You have no idea," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, and the coolness of his breath against my ear sent shivers through me and my heart raced in response to the familiar voice.

  My eyes trailed up his long dark denim clad legs, and then over his perfect behind up to his broad sculpted back, which was covered in a tight black t-shirt that clung snugly to his tanned arms, revealing every single taut muscle beneath it. My stomach summersaulted at the very sight of him and I made an involuntary moaning sound once again. I was getting quite good at that.

  "You can say that again," Mellissa whispered in response to my accidental sex noise.

  "Ah Caleb." Mr Kelly stood extending his hand to him and Caleb shook it. "Welcome young sir. I'm Mr Kelly.” He turned Caleb so he was facing the class.

  “Everyone, this is Caleb as you can all see,” he beamed. “I'm sure you will make him feel very welcome.” Whispers broke out around the room and the girls giggled in excitement. Mr Kelly scanned the room and Tamara Gilbert, the head cheerleader's hand shot up waving around in the air like she was dying to be excused for the toilet.

  "Yes Tamara?" The look on his face showed that he knew exactly what it was that had earned her attention. She was so see through it was cringe worthy. She smiled sweetly, flipping her long silky platinum blonde hair behind her shoulder.

  "Caleb can sit by me sir. I promise I won’t bite," she said innocently, but with a grin that told an entirely different story.

  Mellissa laughed loudly. "That's not what I've heard." Laughter erupted around the classroom and Tamara glowered at us angrily.

  "Okay, settle down everyone," Mr Kelly demanded. “Caleb you can sit by Tamara for now." He pointed over to the empty chair at her desk.

  Walking over to his new desk, Caleb met my gaze and held it the whole time until he took his seat next to little miss pain in my ass right now. Ugh, that was the last person I wanted to see him with, she was a certified man-eater. I slumped down in my chair feeling a bad mood coming over me. I could hear her over excited voice chirping away insistently in the background and I had the urge to go over there and permanently shut her mouth for good. I was normally quite tolerant, but I had just discovered my cut off point.

  "Oh god." Mellissa turned to me. "She'll be loving this. I'm sure he'll be her next conquest. Could he be sitting with anyone worse than her? You should switch seats with him so I can be his homeroom buddy." She wiggled her eyebrows at me. So much for Drake, I thought to myself. I edged forward and looked around Mellissa to where Caleb and Tamara sat directly to the side of us.

  Caleb sat with his body half twisted towards Tamara so that he was giving her his full attention. Wow. That didn’t take long. He certainly didn’t welcome me like that. By the looks of things, dumb, busty, and blonde was his type. I trained my ears to hear what she was saying to him, but the rest of the classroom noise drowned her out. I was sure their legs must be touching they were sitting so close. I wanted to be physically sick.

  "Pria," Mr Kelly shouted, snapping me out of my eavesdropping.

  "Yes sir," I answered, dragging my eyes away from the irritating couple.

  “Registration book please?” he said impatiently, and I guessed he had tried calling me more than once. I got up and handed him the book.

  I watched Tamara visibly flirting with Caleb as I walked back to my seat, laughing at nearly every word he said. I bet he wasn’t even saying anything funny. He certainly wasn’t funny last night. I’d be surprised if he even knew what a joke was. I realised right then that I felt my first real pangs of jealousy at the sight of her sitting so close to him, and owning so much of his attention. She was gorgeous and he was practically eating it up.

  The bell rang and I grabbed my bag from off the desk and stormed out of the classroom with Mellissa hot on my heels.

  “Whoa, what’s wrong with you?” She asked, catching up to me.

  “Nothing.” I continued to barge my way through the crowds. “I just forgot something in my locker and I need to get it quickly before first period.” She grabbed my arm and I slowed to a stop.

  “I’ve got Mrs Anderson now, so I’ll see you at lunch?”

  “Yeah, I’ll meet you in the cafeteria,” I said half-heartedly, scanning the hallway for any sign of Caleb and his new girlfriend.

  “Right, and you can tell me what is going on with you and lover boy in there, because I have known you all my life and not once, have I ever seen you look at, or act that way around a guy before.” She raised her freshly plucked eyebrows. I should have been surprised at her accurate observation skills, but I was just angry with myself for being so freaking obvious.

  “There’s nothing to tell. I’m fine,” I said, turning and walking away in the direction of science class.

  “Don’t tell me, tell your face!” She shouted after me.

  ***

  I’d made it all morning without bumping into Nathan. It was mostly because he was a senior and I was a junior, so obviously we had no classes together, but as I walked into the lunchroom my heart sank at the sight of him sitting there surrounded by most of the football team. He was the centre of the conversation and they all seemed to be laughing at an animated story he was telling. One of them gave him a high five and I really hoped he wasn’t telling them about what happened last night.

  I decided to skip lunch and grabbed an apple instead that I kept in my locker for hunger emergencies, and sat outside on the grass to eat it. I sent Mellissa a text telling her where I was and to meet me out here. After I finished my apple, I lay back and propped myself up on my elbows with my bare legs crossed in front of me, with the warm sun on my face. The morning had started with a damp, dewy chill in the air that rolled in from the Olympic mountains, but I was now thankful for deciding to wear my shorts it had turned out so warm. I was wishing I’d brought my sunglasses with me when a shadow fell across my view and I squinted up into Nathan's face.

  "Mind if I sit with you a minute?" I quickly sat up tucking my legs under me.

  "I'd really rather you didn't," I said honestly. Ignoring me, he sat down with enough distance between us that there was no risk of him pouncing on me again.

  Turning to him I asked, "What exactly do you want Nathan? I really have nothing to say to you." He lowered his gaze to the grass and tugged at the lush strands as he spoke.

  "No, but I have something to say to you." He wiped his arm across his sweaty brow and I noticed a scabbed over, bloodied split in the corner of his mouth. "Wow it's hot out here," he said, removing his letterman jacket to reveal a royal blue sleeveless vest underneath. His messy brown hair flopped over his eyes and he pushed it back out of the way.

  "I'm so sorry for last night,” he said in a hushed tone. “I was an ass to you; I was totally out of order. I really don’t know what I was thinking, I wasn’t thinking." He met my gaze with mildly apologetic eyes but I wasn’t buying it, no way.

  "I'd had way too much to drink," he continued. “And seeing you, and how you looked and everything. I just got carried away." Anger slowly started pulsing its way through my veins. "What's that supposed to mean? Seeing me and how I look?" He looked away from me, shifting positions so he had one knee up with his arm resting on it.

  “And I would say getting carried away is a massive understatement,” I threw in.

  "It's no secret I'm crazy about you. Everyone knows it. And then you just went and humiliated me like that." He looked embarrassed. "No one’s ever rejected me before, and I couldn’t stand that rejection coming from you of all people."

  I decided I’d heard enough and I stood up hovering directly over him. "Well actually that's news to me. I hadn't heard that, and for you to sit there and use that as an excuse for what you did to me…DO YOU EVEN S
EE MY LIP?" I was aware that my voice had now risen to a high enough noise level that people were beginning to stare.

  He looked away guiltily. "I'm sorry. You know that was an accident."

  That was It. "AN ACCIDENT OH RIGHT," I practically screamed.

  "Then I'm sorry I hit you in the balls for forcing yourself on me and you accidently bit my lip because of it.” I was shaking with rage.

  He started frantically looking around us, probably to see how many people were witnessing this spectacle, and then finally he stood up and grabbed me by the hand. "Please," he begged pathetically.

  "No. Get lost Nathan. I don’t want to hear it, and I don’t want to ever speak about this, or to you again. You’re lucky I didn’t go to the cops." I peeled his fingers off my arm and shoved his hand away.

  "Everything okay here?" Caleb stood beside me. He had a knack of just appearing out of nowhere. He was slicker than a ghost.

  "Argh not you again," Nathan groaned.

  "Why, what you gonna do about it tough guy?" Caleb glared down into his face menacingly. I had thought Nathan quite tall but Caleb’s well over six-foot frame dwarfed him.

  "You can get lost as well," I shouted. "I don’t need your help." And I stormed off leaving them both standing there alone with each other.

  Mellissa was heading towards me, looking from Caleb to Nathan confused. "What the hell was all that about?" she demanded as I dragged her away with me by the arm.

  ***

  The rest of the day went by without incident and I only had one class with Caleb, where I spent the whole of the Math lesson ignoring him. I knew it was immature but I was pissed at him for letting Tamara throw herself at him and refusing to acknowledge my existence up until he swooped in again as the hero.

  I met with Mr Kelly after school and was relieved to find out that I had been invited on a trip to Paris thanks to my academic excellence. The trip would be a mix of students achieving the highest grades and those who, well, weren’t doing quite so well. Mr Kelly was always trying to find ways to bring the divided students together somehow.