Falling Awake

by T. A Richards Neville

  “How’s Paris?” he asked, and I could hear voices in the background.

  “It’s great yeah, it’s beautiful. A lot of really beautiful buildings. I went to the louvre today. It was interesting.” I was rambling, but I had to give him something. “And Nathan?” He sounded more concerned this time.

  “Oh, he’s fine. He hasn’t bothered me. We’re getting through our study sessions easy enough.”

  “Not too easy I hope.”

  “Mellissa’s Skyping Drake tonight.”

  “So I’ve heard. I won’t be here though. I’ve got more important things to do. I’ll talk to you about that though when you come home. Not over the phone.”

  I wondered if that meant something had happened, or he’d found something out. “Okay, and my dad he’s safe?”

  “Yeah he is. Try not to worry about him.”

  I nodded and before I could stop myself, I blurted out, “I miss you.” The statement was met with silence from the other end of the phone and I banged my head with the palm of my hand, mouthing the word idiot as I waited for any kind of response. “Just enjoy your trip.” That was so not what I wanted to hear.

  “Okay,” I said, and I pressed the phone to my ear as if that would bring him closer to me, and I listened to the steady rhythm of his breathing, wishing I could listen to it all night.

  “Pria…”

  “Yes?” I held my breath waiting for what he was about to say.

  “Nothing,” he eventually said. He exhaled a sigh. “Call me tomorrow.”

  “Right,” I said, then hung up, wishing I never made the call in the first place.

  I felt so empty after hearing his voice, and now I had nothing of him.

  After saying a quick hello to Drake over the web cam, I managed to evade any chaperones in the hallways, and once in the lobby, I waited until the receptionist disappeared into the back office before dashing out through the front doors where Ressler was already waiting.

  “Hey.” He was leaning against the brick wall of the Hotel. “You’re early.”

  “Yeah. I just needed to make sure I could get out. Is there someplace else we could go? Someone might see us here.” I glanced nervously behind me at the glass doorway, expecting it to burst open any second.

  “I know just the place,” he said, grabbing my hand.

  We walked for about fifteen minutes through the bustling old world streets, until we stopped at a bench and sat overlooking the River Seine. The River glowed and sparkled in the moonlight. It looked surreal, illuminated with wavering streaks of gold from the buildings that lined the river, and the many bridges that arched gracefully over it. The full moon reflected itself in the calm rippling water, and I snapped a picture to show Caleb when I got home, it was so beautiful.

  “What’s up then Pria? I’d like to think you called me for my company, but I’m guessing that’s not it.” He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. I took in his grey sweats and white long sleeved tee, the familiar arch of his lean body and the silver bracelet that hung around his wrist, shining against his tanned skin. Something stirred in me, a feeling I was becoming to know all too well, and I tried hard to supress it, looking out instead over the river as a small boat sailed lazily past us.

  “Someone was in my room last night.”

  “What?” he said, turning his head to face me.

  “I was outside in the courtyard of the Hotel, and I looked up to the window of my room, empty room by the way, and someone was standing there looking at me.”

  “Are you sure it wasn’t just Mellissa?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

  “Why would Mellissa just stand there in the dark staring at me?” I snapped. “And no, it wasn’t her because she was on the phone to Drake in the lobby. I passed her when I went up to see who it was.”

  “You went up there yourself? Are you crazy? That could have been anyone up there. That was probably exactly what they wanted- you alone. Why didn’t you just call me? I would have come straight over, you know that. Oh Caleb is going to kill me now,” he huffed.

  “Calm down will you? There was no one there when I got there. It was weird. Where could they have even gone? I went straight up there, and I passed no one.”

  “But you definitely saw someone?”

  “What? You think I’m making this up?” I drew my eyebrows together in offence, but I knew what he meant, because I had thought the exact same thing. Did I really see someone, or did I just imagine it?

  “No, I don’t think you’re making this up. I’m just asking how sure you are of what you saw that’s all.”

  “I’ve thought about that, and I’m sure. I know what I saw,” I said, nodding my head with positivity.

  “And it was definitely your room?”

  “Ressler, really?” I was irritated, and he shrugged his shoulders, putting his hands up as if to say, what I have I done wrong now.

  “What? I’m just making sure.”

  “It was my room and there was someone in it. And do you know what? For all I know, they flew out the freaking window because they done a pretty good job of vanishing into thin air.”

  “How do you know they didn’t just take the stairs while you were on your way up there?”

  “Because I took the stairs.”

  “Okay, the lift then?”

  “I don’t know, I can’t explain it. It was creepy. Even though the room was empty, I didn’t feel like I was alone. I felt like someone was watching me, someone nearby.”

  “I could always stay in your room, you know, just to really be sure nothing happens to you.” He wasn’t smiling and I wouldn’t be surprised if he was being serious.

  “So not happening…but at least you’re taking this serious,” I said in sarcasm. “Sorry, I was joking. Well partly, but I am taking this serious.”

  “I’m scared Ressler.” And I realised that was the first time I had admitted that aloud to myself or to anyone else.

  Since Caleb came into my life, I’d been sucked into a whirlwind of so many unbelievable situations, I felt like I hadn’t stopped to take a breath or to really think clearly.

  “You don’t need to be afraid; do you honestly think we would let anything happen to you?” I looked into his eyes and I knew no matter which direction Caleb and Ressler’s friendship turned because of me, they would always be there for me. They were like my guardian angels, and I knew at that very moment that I loved them both. Maybe not in exactly the same way but I loved them nonetheless.

  “You don’t need to worry about anyone coming into your room again.”

  “I don’t? I asked sceptically.

  “No. I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen again.”

  “And how will you do that?”

  “That’s nothing for you to worry about.” The side of his mouth tipped up into a lazy smile. “Just leave that to me.”

  “I better be getting back before Mellissa starts looking for me,” I said, getting up and brushing down my dress.

  “I’ll walk with you.” Ressler stood up next to me.

  We walked slowly back along the Seine under the golden beams of the vintage street lamps side by side, so close that, occasionally our arms brushed against each other. No one moved any further apart though, and the feelings of guilt came steadily flowing back.

  “Who do you think was in my room? I asked him as we strolled casually along, past the outside seating areas of the crowded bars. The air was filled with the sound of delicate French music, and loud social chitter chatter.

  “Pria, I know you probably hate the idea of constantly being watched and followed, but I won’t lie to you. I was outside your hotel last night, and I didn’t see anybody. And the reason I didn’t see anybody, is because I was too busy watching you.” He grabbed hold of my hand again to sweep past an oncoming crowd of lively Parisians.

  “Wow vous etes belle mademoiselle,” One of the younger looking men shouted at me, and I glanced backwards as he blew a kiss at me and held his hand over his heart
. Ressler tugged hard on my arm propelling me forward.

  “You can’t trust the French.”

  “Is that right?” I said, smiling inside at his scorned expression. “You do believe me though right? That I saw someone.”

  “Yeah I do. Can you forgive me for not having my head one hundred percent in the game? I’ll do better next time, I promise. Just wear a bag over your head or something.” I smiled and nudged him in the arm with my shoulder.

  “Do you think whoever is looking for me has me confused with someone else?” I asked him.

  “Definitely not.” He said it with absolute surety.

  “How do you know?”

  “We’ve known it was you from the beginning. We’ve waited for this- Caleb I mean,” he said, glancing at me with a fleeting look of stress creased in his brow.

  “What do you mean you’ve waited for this?”

  “Nothing. I didn’t mean it like that.” He looked down at the floor and I had a strong feeling he was lying to me, but I had nothing to back it up with.

  I kept my focus on the pavement in front of me as we carried on walking.

  “Oh my god,” I cried, breaking Ressler’s hold on my hand. A small brown bird lay sprawled out on the street in front of us, next to the railings of the river’s edge, and I ran over to its tiny unmoving frame. Its wing twitched uselessly and uncontrollably. “I think its wings broken,” I said to Ressler, watching it lying there helplessly, and my heart broke at the sight.

  “It’s just a bird.” His voice was devoid of any emotions. “We can’t help it, and we need to get you back,” he said, attempting to haul me up off the floor.

  “Aren’t you supposed to be an angel?” I yelled at him. “How can you not care? Can’t you do something to help it?” I looked up at him and he stared back at me as if I was crazy.

  “It’s just a tiny bird Pria. It will probably die soon, and I’m not an angel.”

  “So I’ve heard,” I said, turning my attention back to the bird. “And you’re heartless. Just go back without me. I’m not leaving it here alone to just die, there must be something I can do.”

  I carefully scooped up the tiny soft bundle in my cupped hands, and let Ressler help me to my feet. I stroked my fingers over its delicate head and down over its limp wing.

  “Poor thing,” I whispered. “Where’s your momma huh?” I continued to cradle and comfort the bird as we walked back to the Hotel, and refused to acknowledge the looks Ressler kept shooting me.

  When we reached the Hotel, I was reluctant to just let the bird go and let it die outside alone.

  “I’ll take it,” Ressler said, holding out his hands.

  “And do what? Kill it?” I asked disgusted.

  “It’s the kindest thing to do,” he shot back defensively. “It’s humane.”

  “Shut up Ressler. I really need you to stop talking right now.” I wished I could do something to help the bird; I wanted to fix it, even though I knew I couldn’t do that, but I couldn’t just do nothing either.

  “We could take it to the local animal refuge,” I suggested.

  “I guess, if there’s even such a thing around here,” he said half-heartedly. I brushed my lips over the bird’s frail head and filled my heart with hope that we would be able to do something. I wasn’t settling for leaving it to die, no way.

  As my lips left the bird, and my hand glided down over its wing, there was a flutter of movement and it’s once still body sprung to life in my hands. I opened up my hands in surprise, and unbelievably it flapped its wings, soaring off into the night.

  I was gobsmacked.

  “What just happened?” I asked Ressler. “Did you see that?”

  “Yeah I saw it.” Ressler looked at me in disbelief. “How did you do that?”

  “Do what?” I strained my eyes against the night, but the bird was no longer visible against the midnight blue backdrop of the sky.

  “You just healed it.”

  “I never.”

  “I just saw you.”

  “How could I do that? That’s insane.”

  “You tell me how you done it.” I didn’t know how to answer him. I never healed the bird, but I couldn’t explain what just happened either. I had no answers, but just like Ressler, I did have a lot of questions.

  “You saw it right? Its wing was broken.”

  “Yeah I saw it,” he said. His eyes were full of thought. “Just go back to your room and don’t mention this to anyone got it? Not even Mellissa, and I’ll meet you tomorrow okay?”

  “I can’t tomorrow, were going to Notre Dame.”

  “That’s fine, I am allowed in there. I might be fallen but I’m not damned…at least I don’t think I am.” He smiled but it was distant.

  “Okay I’ll see you tomorrow then,” I said, and turned my back on him to head into the Hotel.

  “Pria,” he shouted after me.

  “Yes,” I said, turning back to face him.

  “Remember what I said. Tell no one about this.”

  “I won’t.” I could practically feel the tension that poured from him as he stood there staring at me. His expression was grave.

  “Are you okay Ressler?”

  “I’m fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I stood there and watched him walk off into the darkness. I got the distinct feeling that something more important than he would like me to know happened tonight, and I was determined to find out what it was.

  A Dark Angel

  I’d just wrapped up another long and useless tutoring session with Nathan, and we were sitting in the Champ De Mars with an undisturbed view of the Eifel tower. We hadn’t visited the monument yet. That would be saved for our very last day before we flew home. It was our third day in Paris, and the sun shone brightly in the clear, pale blue sky. I piled my French books on top of each other and lay on my back soaking up some of the heat, before it was time to head back to the Hotel, and we left for the night tour of Notre Dame.

  Nathan sat next to me with his arms wrapped loosely around his legs. He’d flung off his basketball jersey and was bare chested, wearing a white and red ball cap pushed to the back. Since we arrived in Paris, we’d been getting on pretty well, and I was hopeful that one day, I would be able to call him my friend. But for now, it was still early days.

  The one thing he did bring to my life was how easily we laughed together, and it was somewhat refreshing to have him around, when everything else lately seemed to be so seriously sinister. Back home, I knew it would be a different story. We belonged to two different groups, and that would never change, nor did I want it to.

  “So how do you think my French is coming along?” he asked me, a black silhouette framed by the blaring sunlight above us.

  I squinted up at him blocking out the bright light, and shielded my eyes with my hand.

  “If anything Nathan, It’s gone backwards,” I said smiling. “If that’s even possible.” He let out a gruff laugh. “I think I’m getting pretty good”

  “You would.” I slipped on a pair of aviators. “You’ve worked hard today, but I do think you’re better off just sticking with the English language for now.”

  “It’s the only language I need.”

  “I thought you might say that,” I said with an inside smile at his pig-headedness. Don’t get me wrong he was harmless (well ordinarily) but he was stuck in the, USA is the only way attitude, and I would put money on it that his father probably had a hand in that. He owned the local gym back home, and he was as butch as they came and just as dumb. Although no one would ever dare tell him that. At least not to his face anyway.

  “You know I’ve tried my best though right?” he said, snapping me out of my reverie.

  “I know.” And I did know. I could see, even though it bored the hell out of him, he was trying hard for me. Probably to earn some of my forgiveness.

  “I’d like us to try and be friends when we get home, or at least acknowledge each other.”

  “I’d like that too,” I said. “An
d one day maybe we will be friends, but I’m still letting you in Nathan, and I need to trust you first.”

  “I can understand that.” I think I saw him smile, but he sounded disappointed.

  “I don’t see why we can’t say Hi to each other though.” This time I definitely saw him smile. It practically jumped off his face, it was so wide.

  “Great,” he said. “Hi’s great.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh at this normally too cool for school jock, who was giddy with excitement over the fact that I would let him say hello to me in the hallways. “Nathan your full of surprises you know that?”

  “Is that good or bad?” he asked sounding unsure, and I was saved from answering when Mr Kelly ushered us all to head back to the bus, and back to the Hotel.

  ***

  After eating dinner, Mellissa and I went straight to our rooms and quickly changed. I put on an ivory coloured crochet top that hung just above my belly button, and a pair of denim hot pants with gladiator sandals. Mellissa wore a short grey sleeveless jersey dress with my high top wedges. The night was warm and stuffy, and in need of not wearing too many clothes.

  I tied up the top half of my hair, and let the rest flow around my shoulders, shoving in a pair of golden beaded hooped earrings. I didn’t want to admit that all of this effort was in Ressler’s favour, but I was finding it hard denying it to myself. Even I thought I was a touch over dressed for a night tour of a cathedral.

  “Your legs are amazing,” Mellissa said to me as we walked into the lobby. It was the meeting area for head count before we got onto the bus.

  “You tell me that all the time,” I said, starting to feel uncomfortable under her scrutiny.

  “I’m so jealous; I wish I had long toned legs like yours.”

  “Your legs are toned,” I said. “You always look great.”

  “Yeah you’re right. I do always look great. But you always look amazing.” She said it with determination, trying to convince me with her big eyes. I was pretty sure that when she made her eyes really wide like that, she really thought she was mind tricking someone.