I follow up with a killer line to bring the topic back to sex and she looks unimpressed. I feel a bit embarrassed. I’ve cracked out jokes like that before and not thought much of it, and some girls literally snort out their drinks at some of the sex jokes I’ve told so I am not sure why I feel awkward saying stuff like this in front of this girl.
Keep cool Ryan. You are just warming up and clearly this Ice Queen in front of you needs more of your sexy charm before she melts into your arms.
I decide to ask her about herself. Girls love to talk about themselves. As she begins telling me her life history it gives me time to admire the cupids bow above her lips. Before I enter into a daydream state that usually helps pass the time when girls start talking to themselves, remaining just aware enough to nod in the right places, I hear Ruby mention a twin sister. And bam. Back in with another sex joke. The threesome. Now I’ll know for sure if she’s up for playing tonight. If she isn’t, then I’ll start hitting on Hayley.
Ruby dismisses my threesome comment and then throws me a question so left field I have never heard it on a date before. Turns out that this is too interesting for me to give up on just yet, and I am actually enjoying the challenge of keeping up with her intellect and answering her without giving too much away.
She’s high risk though. No guarantee I will be fucking her tonight. But I find that I am willing to take the risk. And it is refreshing talking about my life for a change rather than feigning interest in someone else’s.
I decide to lean over and whisper a compliment, giving me the chance to lift myself off my seat and sort out the wedgie I seem to have acquired this evening. As I move in closer I inhale a lungful of her scent and she smells incredible. And those lips of hers are just pursed to perfection. And suddenly they are on mine. I wasn’t expecting that.
Boy, she is a good kisser; let’s see whether we can take this further. I push my tongue into her mouth but she pulls away. Looks like it was a bit too soon, but I am sure she enjoyed it so I hedge my bets and suggest we take this action it to the hotel room.
She looks a bit peeved. She asks why I would have a hotel room. Other girls would have jumped at the chance of a night in a hotel, but this one is different. Maybe it’s because she’s a Pommie. I try a suave swerve of an answer, but I can tell she doesn’t buy it. I am disappointed, expecting rejection. But then her mouth defies her and she says yes.
I call the waitress over to pay for our drinks. She’s not quite as eager to serve me now she can see I’ve pulled. But I don’t care. Her breath stinks. I’ve just missed out on an evening with Halitosis Hayley.
As Ruby picks up her purse, I do my best to pat down my trousers and control the semi I have right now so I can save it for the hotel and get fully blown. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that his girl is going to be good fun and that we are going to have one hell of an evening before I say adios and we go our separate ways.
CHAPTER 11
As we walk towards the hotel I take in the scenery and ‘live in the moment’. My sister has been telling me for years to stop being so wound up and go with the flow and just enjoy life. So here I am. Going with the flow. Enjoying life. Just walking along the pavement, breathing in the Sydney air, admiring the local shrubbery, dreaming about how great life could be and totally ignoring Ryan.
Shit, Ryan. I’ve been too busy dreaming. I should be making more of an effort to talk to him, or hold his hand or something, especially as things are likely to start getting a little bit heated in a minute or two.
‘So, what star sign are you?’
I have no idea where that question came from, but I just needed something to say to break the ice while we are walking.
‘Libra.’
‘You?’
‘Gemini’
‘So you really are a true twin.’ He winks at me and I feel myself get a little hotter under my dress.
He then stops in front of me on the pavement as if to make an important declaration.
‘By the way I’ve been wanting to say something to you all evening but I was wondering whether you were going to realise it first. I’ll give you a couple of seconds longer to see if you can figure it out.’
I look him up and down; maybe this guy is more emotional than I thought. Maybe he wants to tell me that he likes me and thought that I would’ve recognised his signals. Any guy would have to spell it out to me; I am clueless about these things. Then I wonder if he is actually going to give me bad news. Maybe I’ve been catfished or something. God dammit I knew this guy was out of my league. I knew it was too good to be true.
‘You haven’t twigged yet, have you?’
I shake my head as if I am a naughty child and hope that what he is about to say doesn’t ruin this evening.
‘We’ve caught eyes before, at the rather classy establishment known as Juicy Parrot.’
‘Oh my god, it’s you. To be honest I think I just blocked out everything to do with that place. Just to clarify your friend is a complete dick. And I will never set foot in that place again.’
‘Just to clarify, he isn’t my friend; he is what I call an associate. And you’re right, he is a dick. But the Juicy Parrot is great fun.’
‘Well, we’ll have to agree to disagree. Anyway, as you have now found out for yourself, I am not a lesbian. My sister is, which was why I was raging at that guy for being so thoughtless.’
‘Oooh Ruby you are definitely hinting at a saucy threesome now, telling me that your sister is a lesbian.’
‘And you are definitely cruising for a bruising,’ I reply.
‘Hey I am down for that weird S&M shit if you are.’
I let out a laugh. This guy is funny, albeit a bit persistent on the sex front. I grab hold of his hand and we walk as if we have known each other for years towards the entrance of the hotel.
The hotel is magnificent, easily Five Star with its red carpet and crystal chandeliers in the entrance. I almost feel like I am in some glamorous Hollywood movie from the 1950s. Ryan must’ve cottoned on to the fact that I was slightly in awe of the place.
‘If you think this is fancy, wait until you see the bedroom,’ he whispered in my ear.
This certainly beats Wally’s hostel. I cannot wait to see the bedroom, although probably not for the same reasons as Ryan. I take a mental note of all the deep hues of burgundy and green in the reception and the polished wooden desks and marble floor and I think how I can turn the view of the hotel lobby into a drawing. I do actually have a small sketchbook in my bag but I don’t want to blow my chances with him thinking I’m a weirdo by bringing a sketchbook out on a date.
I begin to tremble slightly. This is exciting, and that it was worth the risk to follow Ryan to this hotel. He could still be a murderer though. Look at those Agatha Christie and Miss Fisher novels. They were all set in swanky places like this.
Before I think of all the possible ways Ryan could murder me in this hotel, I find myself at the reception desk where Ryan is handed a key card. So he wasn’t lying. He really does have a room in this palace. This is real. I think I am going to hyperventilate.
I feel Ryan’s hand on my back, guiding me away from the reception and upstairs. I realise I’ve just gone back into daydream mode, and was therefore inadvertently gazing at the reception guy. Awkward.
As we get to the sixth floor, he places the key card in one of the dark mahogany doors and as he opens it I am greeted with a slice of pure interior design heaven. There is a large four poster double bed in the centre of the room, with what looks like pure Egyptian cotton sheets on top. I press my hands into the bed and they touch pure comfort. At either side of the bed are two art deco lamps, oozing with grace and sophistication. At the foot of the bed there is a beautiful bureau with a green leather seat. I make a note to myself that I must draw something whilst sitting at that bureau. It is just too good not to be used.
I peep into the bathroom. It is just as luxurious as the bedroom. I then head towards the window and pull back the curtains.
The view is magnificent; Sydney at its best with all the city buildings glistening like diamonds in the dark with the harbour the jewel in the crown.
Suddenly I feel Ryan’s hands snake across my waist and pull me in tight as he decorates my décolletage with light kisses. I melt like butter and kiss him fully on the mouth. I feel him calmly push the dress off my shoulders and move his hands across my breasts and in return I unbutton his shirt and before too long we are both without clothes and inhibitions. He pushes me gently on to the bed, and as I gaze into his eyes, I see the lust blazing in his eyes as I let my hands wander across his beautiful body.
I need to stop. As much as I am enjoying the strength of his arms, him holding me tight around the waist as he strokes my thighs, I just have to stop this before I get disappointed. Not disappointed sexually - my god, just the touch of his lips on my pale sun-deprived body sent tingling sensations to places I never thought possible. No. I mean disappointed in what this will be become. This amazing time of laughing, flirting and breathing in the vitality of life and then waking up the following morning to find the guy who seemed like your world last night has just disappeared.
No. I can’t have this happen again. I am looking for real love not just a one night stand.
‘This doesn’t feel right Ryan,’ I say, pushing him away gently. ‘This is a first date. I think we should just leave today’s adventure here before we spoil what fun we have already had.’
That sexual energy that had previously coursed through his body disappears in an instant, along with his smile. He looks disappointed. He just whispers a disheartened ‘okay’ and lets go of me as if I was some sort of rag doll before he rolls over to his side of the bed. I wonder if he was sulking or angry. Neither of those moods are what I want.
I roll in the opposite direction and my head starts swimming with thoughts. Why did you stop, Ruby? What happened to living in the moment? For Christ’s sake, he’s seen you naked, what difference would have sex make? You’ve made your decision so stick to it, don’t be someone’s play thing.
I still feel uneasy and even though I am sleeping in the most comfortable bed ever it does not provide any rest for my racing thoughts. I roll back towards Ryan and attempt to spoon him whilst whispering in his ear: ‘If you are up for date number two then I might be able to offer you more’.
I immediately feel like some sort of cheap whore, offering myself up on our next date. Yet despite the tension and competing thoughts I keep myself in the spooning position and hold my arm tight against Ryan’s chest and prepare myself for a long night of over-thinking.
I must’ve finally gone to sleep as I awake with another pounding headache, a running theme during my short time in Sydney so far. My body is still cocooning Ryan. I gently roll away and begin working out the best way to leave this now awkward date to an end.
I look back over at Ryan and see that he is still fast asleep. I don’t want to leave while he is still sleeping as part of me still secretly hopes that this date can somehow be salvaged, and that a second date is possible. At the same time I don’t want to look like some awkward hanger-on, waiting for him to call the shots if it was clear he just wanted my company for one evening only.
After weighing up my options I decide to wait until he wakes up and then I can make some feeble excuse about meeting my sister for breakfast.
I put on my clothes and head to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face in the hope it will make me feel better and clear my head. I make myself comfortable on the cool green leather seat and sit on the bureau I one day wish to own and bring out my sketchbook.
And then everything feels calm. I let my pencil glide across my sketchbook page and capture the pure magic of yesterday evening. I draw the grand hotel lobby with guests wearing ball gowns and tuxedos, bringing the hotel to life on the page in front of me. As I revel in how the page is coming together I hear Ryan’s voice boom across the room and it makes me jump and almost draw a dark line across my drawing.
‘What are you doing?’ He leaps out of bed and charges over in his naked glory and before I can stuff my sketchbook out of sight and into my bag, he grabs it with both hands and looks through all the pages.
I am mortified. I sit there with baited breath awaiting his response, most probably a huge burst of laughter as to how bad the drawings are.
He looks at me and then back at the sketchbook and then towards me again before he responds.
‘These are pretty good y’know. Have you ever had any published?’
I go a deep crimson and just shake my head. He is clearly being nice to spare my blushes.
‘I don’t think they are good enough, I doubt anyone would find them of interest.’
‘Well I like them and I think you should put yourself out there more Ruby, you clearly have a talent so make sure people see it.’
Nobody has ever said I was talented before and I feel overwhelmed and at a lost as what to say and do next. Ryan breaks the silence.
‘Right, I am not wasting my time here any longer; I’m dying for a bite to eat so I’ll see you off at the hotel entrance so you can get on with your day as well.’
Wasting his time? Seriously I didn’t force him here. This guy is such a Jekyll and Hyde. One minute he tells me I am gifted and the next that I am a time waster. Jesus. He clearly has issues. On the plus side it saved me making a feeble excuse to leave.
He quickly dresses with his back to me as I sit there waiting and hoping that something will happen to make things better between us. It doesn’t. Ryan grabs his crumpled suit jacket from the floor and dusts it down before putting it on. He then strides straight up to me and looks me in the eye.
‘This is yours. Do something useful with it?’
He presses the sketchbook firmly into my hands and I feel a slight electric shock from his touch and his green-eyed stare sends a shiver down my back. But before the spark even has a chance to develop he has already gone towards the door and opened it.
‘After you,’ he says coldly.
I want to scream. I’ve never received such mixed signals in such a short space of time. I am totally googling Schizophrenia when I leave as I swear he must be suffering from some sort of personality disorder.
As we leave the hotel he kisses me on the forehead and tells me that he will text me later and then disappears. I leave the hotel and head in the opposite direction wondering whether I need to visit a psychotherapist to explain what has just happened.
CHAPTER 12
She’s back at the questions again. Just as I thought I would get a moment’s peace from her interrogation on the walk from the bar to the hotel, she fills the air with her voice again.
Luckily this time the question was an easy one to answer as it was just about star signs, plus I had the bonus of giving her a saucy response while asking what sign she was. Chicks seem to really dig that horoscope stuff. No idea why. Just bullshit.
Despite her seemingly curious mind, I cannot believe she has got this far into the date and she has no idea that we met before. That’s the thing with women; they end up being so self-absorbed that they don’t see what’s going on right in front of them. And people wonder why I don't want to get into serious relationships when all women are interested in is looking after themselves and getting a man to pander to all their needs while they live in their bubble.
I feel rather cruel teasing her, but I am enjoying watching her squirm a little and giving her something to think about. I give her a minute to try to remember where we had seen each other before, but she looks like she spontaneously combust if she thinks about it anymore.
I tell her we met at Juicy Parrot (or as I like to call it ‘BPC’ otherwise known as ‘Backpacker Pussy Central’). I didn’t tell her I call it that, don’t think she’d appreciate it and I don’t want to ruin my chances of getting laid tonight.
She takes in a sharp intake of breath as soon as I mention the words ‘Juicy Parrot’ and I can see as she looks me up and down that all the memories o
f that night come flooding back to her.
Her nose then slightly crinkles as if she has smelt a bad smell and then she begins to rant about Pete’s douche bag cousin. I agree with that he is a douche bag, and that he also wins the title of ‘lady repellent’. As soon as a woman gets a sniff of him they turn their noses up. Unless of course they’re almost paralytic and extremely desperate. That does sometimes happen.
Then she drops the bombshell that her sister is a lesbian. I just imagine the two making out in front of me and then making out with me. Now that would be a good night.
I can feel another semi coming on already and we haven’t even got to the hotel room yet.
I put the idea of a threesome out there jokingly, just to see if there might even be the slightest possibility of one, I can see from her face that idea is definitely KO’d. The semi is KO’d too.
I was secretly a little bit excited to see her reaction when we got to the hotel as it is a beautiful place and much better than the grotty little hostel she is probably staying in. As soon as we get to the entrance I see Ruby’s mouth open a little in awe, and then close again into a smile of happiness as she takes in all the intricate wood carvings on the outside and on the entrance door.
I gently touch her back and guide her through the hotel’s revolving door into the lobby. It looks like something out of the roaring twenties with polished marble floors, glistening chandeliers and brass sculptures. I look back at Ruby and she’s like a wide-eyed child in a sweet shop as she takes everything in.
This is probably the best hotel in Sydney. Everything about it is incredible. When my mother first told me about it two years ago she described it as ‘simply divine, darling’, which is high praise from a woman as well travelled as she is. Thanks to all her book tours and TV appearances, she’s stayed in the best hotels across the world. The hotel manager here is one of her adoring fans, falling in love with her when ‘Make Love Last’ was published. She stays here once a month, but sometimes if she has to miss a visit for work she lets me use her room. Suits me. I can live like a Prince for a while.
When Love Meets Lust Page 7
