‘Don’t wear that, you’ll look like an old granny. Go for the black wrap dress, it has a hint of practicality but also playfulness.’
This is getting way too complicated and I feel like stamping and saying I will go in my t-shirt and jeans and be done with it all.
As we look intently at my bed deciding which outfit to choose, the dorm room swings open.
‘HELLO GIRLS…so what’s going on here then…?’
Oh great. Party Pam is back and it looks like she has had a couple of beers already.
‘Hi Pam, I’m not a girl but I will say hello back to you anyway.’
Good. Andre is dealing with the situation and hopefully he can tell her to bugger off.
‘The girls are busy preparing Ruby for her date. She needs help in choosing a dress which must be fun but not overtly sexual.’
I am going to make Andre a pot which says on the side ‘I owe Ruby $10 for every time I drop her in it’. I think I will make quite a lot of money from it.
Pam snorts and makes a sound like a pig ready to be fed. Then she makes her way closer to the bed where my dresses are laid out. I hold my breath and hope to god she doesn’t spew on them, laugh at them or both. Her jaw drops open and the room vibrates;
‘I am well good at choosing outfits to get dates. I’ve got quite a good pulling rate. There isn’t much choice here; you should really get your flesh out otherwise no man is going to want to fill your stocking if you get my drift. Go for the red dress and wear it back to front to show off your cleavage that should be the winner. Anyways enough of the chat babes I’ve gotta go…I’m off to the next door dorm as Dean and his friends are having a Goon night which means I am going to get totally and utterly WASTED! Woohoo!’
And with a hiccup and stumble over a few of the suitcases in the room she makes her exit.
Thank Christ for that, and as for the red dress I’m definitely not wearing it if Pam likes it – it just screams slut rather than sophisticate. And as for what a ‘Goon night’ is? I dread to think.
I decide on the black wrap dress and black heeled sandals with my gold St. Christopher pendant and gold bracelet. Chloe then sits me down in the middle of the dorm and places all my make-up beside me, and adds some of her own from her handbag. Like an artist painting a picture, she begins to measure up my face using a blusher brush and then gets to work on making me more Coco Chanel than Coco the Clown.
‘Ya esta!’
‘Pardon?’ I respond, taken slightly aback thinking Chloe has made a complete mess of my face or she has suddenly noticed a huge spot that no amount of make -up can cover.
‘Ah sorry, I have a tendency to slip back into my native Spanish when I get excited. It means ‘that is all’. Your transformation is complete.’
‘Wow!’ exclaims Andre. ‘Ruby you are looking good, if your date doesn’t find you attractive after all the effort you’ve put in tonight then he will need to get his eyes checked!’
I look at myself in the dorm’s speckled bathroom mirror and for a few moments I feel like a confident and pretty 26 year old who is ready to take on the world and find The One. Maybe this is it; maybe this new start in Australia was what I needed to find love. I calm myself down and tell myself not to get my hopes up too high. I make my way to the dorm door to leave as its 7 already and I need enough time to get to the bar.
I tell the others I need to go and in unison that all say ‘Good Luck’. The butterflies are going crazy but I have a good feeling about this date.
Before I leave the room I glance up at Laurence’s bunk. Instead of a blonde bombshell looking at me I see a dirty old man, probably a tramp, who has scraped up enough dollars to stay the night. He makes a wolf whistle sound and then begins to scratch himself all over. Gross. I leave and hope that my bed won’t be covered in fleas by the time I get back tonight.
* * *
I arrive at Luciana’s dead on 7:30pm and wonder whether I have found the right place. In my head I imagined Luciana’s to be this small speakeasy bar with a cosmopolitan edge to it rather than a ‘cheap and cheerful place’ full of suspect men and scantily dressed women. I check google maps on my phone and it definitely says I have arrived at my destination.
At the front of the entrance is a woman wearing a Hawaiian grass skirt and bikini top with a big badge attached saying ‘Hi I’m Hayley, Welcome to Luciana’s’.
I go up to Hayley and ask whether a table or space at the bar has been reserved by a Ryan Turner or whether he has arrived and is expecting me.
She purses her frosted glossy lips together, looks me up and down before saying: ‘Are you for real, who do you think I am Psychic Susan?’
Who does this girl think she is? I’m on edge as it is and I do not need this lip from a bad hostess dressed as a hula girl.
‘Well, Hayley, last time I checked I don’t think I entered the Matrix. So, yes, I am real and this is not my virtual counterpart. And with regard to whether or not you look like Psychic Susan,’ I paused to look her up and down. ‘Much more Slutty Susan, I think. Don’t you?’
A full on cat-fight is only just prevented by the arrival of an attractive male with an Australian accent.
‘Hi I’m Ryan. By the looks of things, Hayley, I think you may have met my date for this evening. I am a friend of the manager; he normally keeps a VIP section for his friends.’
He produces a small white card which has the words ‘Luciana’s Exclusive Members’ embossed in silver and some writing in a blue fountain pen on the back. Hayley takes the card, and hands it back to him, smiling sweetly. She clearly fancies this guy. And clearly wants to hang on to her job.
‘Sure thing Ryan, it will be my pleasure to show you both to the VIP area,’ she rolls her the ‘r’ sound around in her mouth, hoping to grab Ryan’s attention and be as be as seductive as possible. Back off Hawaiian Barbie, this one is mine for the evening. As she shows us to our table and gives us both a copy of the drinks menu, she makes sure to serve mine with daggers and his with an eyeful of tits.
My heart feels like it is pounding out of my chest. I have never felt so nervous on a first date. Mind you that may be because most of the guys I’ve previously been on dates with have the ‘I’ve just got out of bed’ vibe to them rather than the ‘I’m super hot’ vibe.
Play it cool Ruby, play it cool. Even the way Ryan sits suggests a man with an air of confidence about him. As he reads the menu I take the opportunity to take him in. The slight wave in his thick brown hair neatly frames his face and shows off his square jaw and emerald green eyes, and the light blue shirt shows off a figure that is suitably toned. As I look at his feet I see he is wearing smartly polished brown Italian leather brogues. It’s always a good sign when a man has well-kept shoes.
He can clearly feel me watching him and he slowly licks the top of his lips before he locks his eyes with mine. Nerves get the better of me and I start talking.
‘I’ve never been a VIP anything, so thank you for having me as your VIP guest this evening.’
‘You’re welcome Ruby. I do the accounts for the manager who runs this place. I work as an accountant at Charter and Charter and we get a variety of clients, and sometimes they come with perks.’
He pauses, gives a cheeky grin to Hayley, who is deliberately hovering over our table, and orders us some cosmopolitans. He then continues with the conversation.
‘Being a VIP at places like this is a bit like having your virginity taken, all that anticipation and excitement and then at the end of it all you just feel like there should be something more to this.’
Woah, where did that comment come from, you have just met me and decide to make some weird comment about virginity. I let the comment slide and wonder whether it is because he is nervous, though his bravado stance of sitting up straight and looking me dead in the eye suggests otherwise.
‘So Ruby, tell me a bit about yourself. I am intrigued to know what lies behind those gorgeous blue eyes of yours.’
‘Well as you may have alre
ady guessed I am British. I am actually here with my twin sister, her name is Martha’
‘Oooh twins, now you are talking Rubes, any chance of a threesome then?’
He then laughs a rather dirty laugh and awaits my reaction. I really wish he would stop making such stupid comments. It makes him sound like some sex-obsessed weirdo. I’m going to see if I can get to the bottom of this and see if I can find the real Ryan rather than the randy Ryan.
‘Seeing as you have asked me a question Ryan, let me ask you one.’
He seems to be taken aback slightly by my assertiveness and for a moment I have a brief feeling of satisfaction that I am now the one in control on this date.
‘What’s your most vivid childhood memory?’
Now this guy is definitely on the ropes. He is just staring at me as if I have just asked him to work out the square root of 57869 in under three seconds, although for some reason I think he might be more comfortable in answering a maths question then something personal.
He clears his throat. It looks like this guy will not be defeated by a challenge and this immediately makes me like him again.
‘It was when I won the 400 metres butterfly stroke at the local swimming gala when I was 12. I remember seeing my friend Chad and my parents jumping up and down in the stands, cheering me on as I smashed through the water. Seeing them supporting me gave me that extra push to make sure I won. I remember the looks of absolute joy on their faces when I collected my gold medal. I should get back into my swimming a bit more really.’
I smile on the inside, gleeful that I am actually starting to get under his skin and find out more about him. I try another question to see how far I can push this.
‘What’s something you are really proud of lately?’
‘Wow, you are good at asking some rather intriguing questions! Do you know what Ruby I am going to have to pass on that one as I can’t think of one off the top of my head.’
Now he is starting to melt my heart. He has a look of a lost boy. I know I have hit him deep. It looks like I have got through his barrier of being the wannabe womaniser and can start connecting with him.
‘What’s something you always wanted to try?’
‘Well Ruby, I kind of hinted earlier, I really want a threesome. Any chance your sister is free tonight?’
For Christ’s sake, just as I thought I was getting somewhere. I decide to ignore it and fire him another question.
‘What’s the last book that you read?’
‘It was the Karma Sutra. Nah, only joking. It was actually Advanced Accounting for the Working Practitioner. If you haven’t already realised, being an Accountant is a pretty big deal’.
As I sip on my fourth Cosmopolitan of the night, I continue with the questions and try not to be shocked at some of the sexually laced answers. I find it difficult to make up my mind about Ryan. Usually during a date, I think the guy is either a potential “no-go” or a potential “let’s go and run away together” and this guy has dipped in and out of each category throughout this evening. So far in this date there have been times where we have had deep meaningful conversations about music, cinema or art and then other times he seemed to feel the need to chuck in some inappropriate lewd comment.
They do say opposites attract though so maybe this is the guy I’m looking for or maybe I’m just drunk and desperate and clinging on to any hope that this date has potential to blossom into a relationship.
My head is beginning to spin.
Ryan leans in close to me. He whispers in my ear that he loves my British accent and the dress I am wearing this evening. The tension between us suddenly becomes intense and I find that the only way to relieve it is to take the plunge and kiss him.
His lips feel soft and warm against mine and…woah, he’s moved in with the tongue already. Okay time to break away and take a breather for a moment. That was fast. As I take in the intensity of the kiss he begins to stroke the back of my arm and he whispers in my ear again.
‘So how about we carry this on at the hotel I have booked this evening.’
Wow, this guy definitely thought he had this in the bag before he even met me.
‘Why do you have a hotel booked?’ I say trying to act inquisitive when I feel slightly peeved he thinks I am an easy catch.
‘Well on the walk to the hotel I will tell you the reason why.’
I look at him not sure whether to kick him, laugh or be impressed by the way he is trying to seduce me. And for some reason despite my head being filled with alarm bells screaming at me that this guy just wants to use me for sex I still feel the urge to go with him.
Do you know what? Fuck it. You only live once. I’m in Australia and the world is my oyster, and why shouldn’t I just have fun and have sex with this guy? So, some of his jokes are really jarring and he is clearly a bit of a playboy. I might not get the chance of such good looking male company again…oh god I really think I have had had too many cosmopolitans…
Despite the doubt in my mind I grab my purse, which remained shut thanks to Ryan’s act of chivalry in paying the bill, and I kiss him passionately one more time before we begin to head towards the hotel. I keep my fingers crossed that this act of spontaneity will lead to something special.
CHAPTER 10
Blue shirt and chinos. The standard Ryan pulling gear. It’s always best to keep colours plain and neutral as it stops the girl being distracted and focuses her on my face where I can use my eyes to focus on her to emit confidence. Then I add a smile to show I am friendly which puts a girl at ease. It is one of the few useful things I picked up from my parents’ psychology lessons.
A spritz of aftershave and I am ready to go and hit the city and head to my date. I even have a hotel booked. My mother was given a free room at the Sydney Skyscraper Hotel as the manager their loves her books. She was due to go there tonight but she can't make it so she has asked management to put it in my name. One of the few perks I get of being Dr Lara Turner’s son.
She can’t make it as her and lover boy are off to Adelaide for some last-minute radio talk show she's agreed to do to tell women that it’s okay to be a cougar.
It really isn’t okay to be a cougar though. These women should be called another c-word. Cradle snatchers. It might stop them looking like a desperate loved up idiot and it would save their sons and daughters being subjected to some jumped up dweeb the same age as you wanting to be your step-father.
Being able to have a hotel room to bring a girl back to is often much better than bringing her to mine as it makes me more mysterious and I know girls totally dig that James Bond vibe. I do my best Sean Connery impression in the mirror and I think I sound pretty good, I might try it out on Ruby, what with her being a Pommie and all. I’m sure she’ll love the James Bond routine. Surprisingly, out of all the women I have rooted, I have yet to get a Pommie so I am rather hyped in finally getting to tick doing one off my list.
Before heading out of the door I do a bit of research on my phone as to what gets Pommie girls going. From the looks of things, they love a bit of ‘cheeky banter’. I don’t really know what that means so I will just go with the normal Ryan Turner charm as it has a pretty high success rate with all the other girls I have dated.
Right, time for one last check of the mirror, a flex of the ‘guns’ and I am ready to meet Ruby and give her the night of her life.
As I arrive at Luciana’s I notice Ruby immediately at the entrance. She looks even more stunning than her GirlmeetsBoy pictures. I can’t wait to see her naked. Her blonde wavy hair looks almost golden and the black dress she is wearing hugs her in all the right places.
Unfortunately, her pretty face is starting to get all screwed up as she is clearly pissed at the girl manning the entrance. I wonder whether to let them fight it out and spy on some girl on girl action. I decide to intervene. A fight between two women would be fun, but not as much as having one of them all to myself in a bedroom ripping my clothes off.
As I wave my VIP card for Lucia
na’s, Ruby turns and gives me the most beautiful look with her blue eyes. She looks truly impressed and slightly in awe that I have VIP access which is rather sweet as most of the other girls I have been on a date with see this as standard fare and would be rather hacked off if they didn’t get the VIP treatment. All I can think is that Ruby must have been out with a lot of ‘Budget Barry’s’ in her time. That’s a shame. She would suit dinner at the Shangri-La rather than at Macca's.
This can play to my advantage though.
Although women are about as hard to read as a book written in Martian, so there is no guarantee that she will want to hook up later. So just in case things don’t work out with a girl I meet online I always like to have a backup plan. And tonight the backup is Hayley the hula girl.
I try and play the two off of each other. First I work on the hula girl by looking her up and down and smiling as she hands me the cocktail menu. I was tempted to give her a little wink but I feel Ruby’s eyes on me and decided not to push my luck.
I then sit square on to Ruby and look directly into her eyes and show off my confidence. She looks at me and then looks away knowing that her eyes give away the truth. She already finds me attractive.
I keep quiet and flit my eyes between Ruby and the cocktail menu. I’m going to let her sweat it out and make her take the first move and I can then build on it from there. It’s a standard Ryan trick.
As I wait for her to crack I count the seconds in my head. Six seconds. Clearly she does not like awkward silences. Excellent, I have found a weakness I can use to my advantage and I can already take control of the situation.
She asks me a question about how I managed to get VIP status. And despite me going for the whole cool vibe I ended up blurting out the most mundane response to her question.
Wow. Ryan can you hear yourself? You sound like such a pussy going on about your accountant job. Remember to flirt not divert. The more time you talk about yourself the less time you have to make your intentions clear.
When Love Meets Lust Page 6
