Ryan grabs hold of the bunch of flowers and casually drops fifty dollars on to the counter, ten dollars over the asking price. He tells me to keep the change. He then walks back into the zombie march towards the station steps to the outside and into the city.
As soon as he disappears from sight I curse myself for standing like a rag doll and not coming up with a cool response. When I hear an ‘oooooooooohhhhh’ sound from Tess and I feel my face burning up and prepare myself for more jokes at my expense. But I don’t really care. I am too busy thinking about date number two.
CHAPTER 14
I have never known so much fuss about a bunch of flowers. The guys at work had an absolute field day wondering who they were for and whether they were actually a present to me from some boyfriend I had in Hawaii called Chuck. They clearly have too much time on their hands and not enough work to do. Most of the stick came from Paul. But while Paul’s closest companion this evening will be his own hand, mine will be a beautiful and pert woman by the name of Ruby.
The look on her face was priceless when I ordered those flowers, even if I did pay $10 over the asking price. Flowers are so bloody expensive, but I didn’t want to look like a cheap arse and wait for the change, it would’ve ruined my ‘suave’ image.
Thankfully she didn’t see me trip up the stairs a few moments later due to the flowers blocking my vision as that would’ve killed the vibe completely.
I had no idea she worked there. I don’t normally get off at Martin’s Place, its only because of yet another delay to the train service that I decided it would be easier to walk from here than struggle on to the next stop.
Is it fate that I saw Ruby…. nah, just coincidence.
I double check that the flowers are still in good condition as I walk towards the restaurant, knowing full well I am fifteen minutes late. That’s one of the first rules of the dating game - never be on time. Showing you are too keen gives a girl the chance to wrap you round your little finger. The last thing I want to be is someone’s bitch. I am always top dog.
I see Ruby opposite the restaurant. She looks stunning with her short light blue denim jacket and flowy white summer dress which is showing off a good portion of her slender legs. It’s almost as if she is a Greek goddess with her golden curly locks tumbling down her back. She’s definitely hot with a capital ‘H’.
She spots me and walks towards me and despite my intention to give her a hug, I end up shoving the bunch of flowers right in her face. I swear to god these flowers are more trouble than they are worth. I better be getting a serious seeing to tonight to make this effort worthwhile. I blame nerves for my poor greeting effort, although I am never nervous so maybe it’s the copious amounts of coffee I had to drink today at work that is putting me on edge.
As I pull the bunch of flowers out of her way in order to give her a proper greeting, she lets out a huge sneeze. The beginning of the date is almost like a Mr. Bean sketch and we’re not even at the restaurant yet. I let out a loud laugh at the hilarity of it all and I hand her my handkerchief in case she sneezes again.
It must be the first time I have ever used the handkerchief for its proper purpose. It’s probably the first time I have helped a girl out like that. Normally I leave it to them to sort their shit out.
She hands me the handkerchief back, although now that she has wiped her nose on it I am not sure I want it, but I stuff it back in my pocket without saying anything and guide her to the entrance of the restaurant.
I ask her if she likes Italian. I see her eyes light up but her mouth reacts differently as she responds.
‘Italian is okay.’
I know she likes it but is trying to act be cool. Let’s see how cool she acts when I tell the restaurant owner, Gino, her response.
Gino’s restaurant is bloody amazing. It is hands down THE best Italian in Sydney. As soon as you enter the front door your senses go into overdrive with the smell of fresh pasta cooking, chopped herbs and juicy tomatoes followed by the sweet smell of a homemade tiramisu.
And then there is Gino himself, a real character. He strides towards us and as he gets closer he realises it’s me and I see a big grin cracking over his moustachioed face.
I first came to Gino’s to discuss accounts with a client over dinner two years ago and as a result ended picked Gino up as a client as well. When he provides such amazing food it’s hard to say no to come and visit and check the numbers add up positively to keep this place going. Although the place is amazing it doesn’t always get the footfall from passing trade, which is why you can generally get a table here without the need to book.
Before I drift too much back into work mode, Gino nudges me back into the present by giving me a big bear hug. I give him a strong hug back followed by the usual pleasantries whilst regaining my composure after being lifted several feet off the floor by Gino.
While we show off our manly love to the whole of the restaurant I see that Ruby is looking a little awkward and confused as to what she has witnessed, so I decide to press her embarrassment button by telling Gino who she is and that she thinks Italian is ‘okay’.
As soon as the words come out of my mouth I see Ruby’s cheeks turn crimson. I have a feeling tonight is going to be a lot of fun.
Gino starts waving his hands about as if he is washing an imaginary car and then finishes off his animated speech with a kiss of his fingers. This guy is hilarious. After every diner has turned around to look at Gino and hear how great Italy is, Gino then decides to show us our seats for the evening.
I pull out a chair for Ruby and before she can sit down, I begin with the questions. Question after question. In her polite British way she answers each and every one very politely. And surprisingly I actually liked listening to what she had to say about things, maybe because she didn’t once feel the need to tell me what her ‘shoe of the week’ is or when her next hair appointment is.
After a while Ruby struggles to keep up but as if by magic Gino appeared to take our order, and Ruby hastily chooses from the menu. It probably didn’t help that I gave her no time to read the menu properly. I know exactly what I want so sometimes forget other people need to see what’s on offer. She chooses Spaghetti Bolognese. In my head I give her the thumbs up as I always choose Bolognese the first time I visit an Italian restaurant as you can always judge an Italian restaurant as to how well they make it.
I go for my usual Tagliatelle Dei Leccessi. I love how Italian I sound when I say it although Gino is probably crying inside as I butcher his beautiful language.
Gino then points us in the direction of the drinks menu and I leave it up to Ruby to decide for us. Gino then gives me the wink as we both recall what happened last time I let a girl order wine here. She ordered a bottle of Merlot, grabbed the bottle, glugged it down in one and stumbled straight out of the restaurant and into a taxi waiting outside.
Thankfully she has been the only crazy one I have picked up on GirlmeetsBoy. I like to think I have quite a good bogan detector, but this one slipped through the net. I gave Gino a rather handsome tip and a big apology and either the dollars or the fact that he had seen this behaviour from women before meant he ended up seeing the funny side of it all.
Ruby doesn’t look like a girl who would do that. Well I hope not anyway.
A minute or so passes and Ruby still hasn’t ordered. Jeez, either this girl is super picky or she is just super clueless with wines. I look at her chewing her bottom lip and scanning the menu up and down. It looks like she falls in to the clueless category and a part of me feels bad for putting her in that position.
I recommend a good Aussie wine to her to help her out of her misery, plus I see that Gino’s is getting fed up waiting as well so hopefully this will hurry her along. Thankfully she goes with my suggestion. If I had to wait any longer for her to choose I think I’d just go to the bar myself and get a bottle to glug down to help me through this agonizing wait.
As Gino goes and gets us the Shiraz, I decide to move the date along a bi
t to get closer to my goal of getting her into bed with me. I lean over the table and whisper in her ear.
‘You know, once you have had a taste of an excellent Australian wine, the best thing to follow it up with is the taste of an excellent Australian man, especially if he is called Ryan.’
My pulse is racing with excitement and it looks like hers is too as her pupils get wider and she appears more flushed. I wait to see if she is going to give me a sexy comeback, but Gino has already appeared with the glasses so she just ignores my comments and asks me to teach her about the differences in wine and what ones to choose.
I tell her everything I know about wines, and I impress myself about how much I actually know although I am starting to wonder if I come across like an old fart talking about the differences between Chablis and a Chardonnay. Yet Ruby appears to be enraptured as she sits closer into the table to listen to me and bats her big blue eyes in my direction showing she is taking in every single word. This girl is so different to the others. I so want to kiss her right now but Gino has placed a steaming hot plate of pasta in front of me.
My manners go straight out of the window as I scoff huge mouthfuls of the food into my mouth; it’s too good to be sitting there for even a second.
After the third big mouthful of pasta, I look over to Ruby and wonder what an earth she is doing as she is cutting up her Spaghetti Bolognese into tiny pieces as if she is feeding it to a china doll. She then slowly lifts the fork with the tiny bit of pasta to her mouth as if she is stuck in slow motion.
I know that the English are known for the politeness and etiquette at the dinner table but seriously if she is going to eat the whole meal like that we will be here until next Tuesday. I cannot sit here and watch this weird way of eating so I decide to tell her to stop with this odd shit.
‘Why are you eating so weirdly Rubes, just get stuck in, no need to worry about manners with me…. here I’ll show you how you should eat it.’
I stick my fork right in the middle of her spaghetti Bolognese and twirl a large portion of the pasta mince and tomato sauce on my fork before slurping it in my mouth. I then notice that in my attempt to be bold in front of Ruby I have managed to get some of the tomato sauce on my shirt…that will teach me for being such an arrogant arse.
Luckily, I don’t think Ruby noticed and if she does mention it I will just tell her it’s not sauce but one of those fancy shirts which has weird orange and red patterns on it. Although if she believes that she is naiver than I thought.
Her eyes are gleaming at me as I finish my forkful and without hesitation she gives me a big grin and sticks her fork into her plate and takes a big mouthful.
The delight on her face encourages me to take another forkful of her food so I can see whether this can lead to something and in fact it does lead somewhere…right to Ruby’s kissable lips. Like a scene from a movie we end up sharing the same string of spaghetti and as we are clearly people who do not like to give up we continue to eat until I plant a pasta filled kiss on her. It wasn’t quite how you imagine it would feel like in the movies but it did give me a chance to see how up she was for ‘sexy time’ later.
Her response gets my pulse racing.
‘Well seeing as you like playing with your food, I look forward to trying each other’s desserts at yours later.’
I almost feel myself blush and something rise in my trousers but I keep my cool knowing I will need to save myself for later.
Before Ruby changes her mind and goes cold turkey on me I quickly summon Gino for the bill. As before, Ruby tries to offer to pay at least half but I refuse, she’s too good to have to pay for anything in my company. It makes a change to spend my money on someone who is appreciative. Every other girl I’ve dated expects me to pay for everything without even pretending to offer.
Before I take her back to mine on the train, I decide to warm us both up by taking her for a walk by the botanic gardens. Its only five minutes from Gino’s and it will help me calm my nerves a little. Something about this girl is giving me butterflies. Or maybe it is the mix of pastas turning in my belly. I can’t work out why this girl is getting such a hold on me tonight, but I am hoping the gardens will have her feeling more relaxed too and ready to taste her dessert later.
As we get to the gates, it dawns on me that it won’t be open as it’s nearly dark. Luckily there is a bench just outside so I sit down on it and hope that Ruby does the same.
Like an obedient dog she sits but we both sit in silence, unable to break the tension between us. For once on a date I am really not sure how to make the next move. Normally I would just go straight in with a kiss making it clear my intentions.
I feel my dinner gurgling in my stomach and it gives me an idea which might just make it easier for me to start a full-on PDA session with her.
I turn to Ruby and tell her she has spaghetti sauce on her face. She doesn’t have anything on her face at all, and even if she did she would still look pretty. She looks mortified, but as the helpful gentleman I am, I pretend to come to her rescue and wipe the imaginary sauce away.
I get closer and closer and eventually our lips touch and then after a while of massaging her soft lips with mine I then go for the tongue and just as I do, I feel a weird vibrating sensation on the top right hand side of my body. Ruby doesn't seem to notice and she is forcefully pushing her lips on me in order to continue with the kisses.
The vibration doesn’t seem to stop. This is really distracting. I really can’t deal with this anymore, maybe she is more into some kinky shit than I realised and has brought her vibrator along for tonight. Even so, now is not the time or place.
As I push her away to work out what the hell is vibrating in her pocket, she tells me it’s her phone. I almost let out a laugh thinking how crazy I was to think it might have been a vibrator. Whoever it is, they are desperate to get hold of her so I tell her to answer it to put us all out of our misery. The vibrations stop before she answers and for a while she just stares at her screen.
‘It’s my sister.’
Maybe she is down for a threesome after all. It really would be my lucky night, although it is more likely her sister is probably menstruating or something. I presume that’s what’s sisters talk about. As an only child, I never really understood the close sibling bonds people have. Surely people want to live their own life rather than constantly hanging around or dealing with their brother or sister problems?
‘I think she might be in a bit of state as she needs me to meet her urgently,’ she says, clearly concerned.
I fill the air with my frustration. She looks a bit startled, but I know my chance to sleep with her has gone and I don’t care anymore even if I do come across as having a toddler tantrum.
Fuck sisters. Fuck Ruby. Oh wait I can’t do the last one as she has some other bull shit excuse as to why she can’t sleep with me. I knew it. I should’ve just left it at the one date like I normally do.
As I deal with my frustration Ruby manages to hail a cab to take her back to her sister. I say goodbye and begin sorting out a backup plan for this evening. It’s time to ring Tanya.
Within three rings she answers and the booty call is sorted. There is a warm feeling again in my trousers and I am ready for action. But my head is full of confused thoughts about Ruby and our time together this evening.
CHAPTER 15
Martha better be fucking dying. I have yet again given up the chance to take things further with Ryan.
The night was going so well. Ryan was so kind over my embarrassing lack of knowledge about wine and was willing to share his knowledge so passionately on the subject. The restaurant owner, Gino was such a character too, he was like something out of the Godfather. Although I did wonder whether I would be mincemeat after Ryan told him I thought Italian was okay. I bloody love Italian, that will teach me for trying to play it cool with Ryan.
And even when I was eating my spaghetti Bolognese like a demented woman in order to avoid getting tomato sauce down my white dres
s, he told me not worry about it and enjoy the delicious food. I can still feel his warm and gentle kisses on my neck.
Everything was going so well; until Martha messaged.
He was in such a foul mood when I left. I doubt I will see him again, but my family have to come first.
Last time Martha sent me a text message like this, I arrived to find her howling like a toddler next to a big black splat on the road.
Smudge, our cat had been run over. I have never heard a grown woman shriek so hysterically. I suspect some of the local residents thought I was her carer and had been sent to calm her down and take her back to the home.
I never really liked Smudge. It has this evil glint in its eye as if it was going to expose all my deepest darkest secrets at any moment but to Martha it was her little side kick. Martha would rather have lost her arm that lost Smudge.
I had to spend the next fortnight comforting her and spending half my wages on Ben and Jerrys to make her feel better.
I do not want a repeat of that.
As the taxi drops me off at Sunshine Apartments, the location Martha told me to meet her, I see Martha and Chloe waving at me frantically and jumping up and down as if they are little school girls who have been fed too much sugar. So much for expecting to see Martha crying in a crumpled heap on the floor.
After receiving a big hug from Martha and Chloe the verbal diarrhoea from Martha begins. I catch snippets of the words that we are sharing a room…finding your own room in Sydney is like gold dust... good we get to share with each other rather than strangers…the live-in landlord is a bit of a creep but the three of us against him will put him in his place…
I try my best to take everything in but I am too busy thinking what if, what if I just ignored her message? What if I had asked Ryan to come with me?
When Love Meets Lust Page 9
