A second chance like that doesn’t come around often. I thought I had blown it on the first date by not letting go of my inhibitions and going all the way with him and tonight could’ve have been a chance to prove I really am carefree and fun and ready to explore the physical side of things with him.
‘Ruby why aren’t you happy? Chloe went to a lot of effort to get those beds for us. There is no need to be ungrateful,’ Martha whines in my ear, handing me my key to the flat.
I try to prove to Martha that I really am happy by plastering on my best fake smile despite crying a little on the inside knowing that the chance for love is still too far away for me to grab.
Martha isn’t buying the fake smile, she knows me too well dammit.
‘Look sourpuss I have a surprise for you in our room, which will hopefully cheer you up’
Martha grabs my hand and the three of us bound up the stairs to the fourth floor and towards a door numbered 432.
A rather short angry looking Asian man greets us at the door in what appears to be an off-white string vest and a pair of board shorts.
‘This your sister,’ he says to Martha as he jabs his pointy finger into my shoulder. Martha nods her head.
‘She pretty…really pretty.’
‘Good to see you Mr Chen, how’s your wife doing?’ says Martha as she steps in between me and him so he can back out of my personal space.
‘Oh, she good…I better go and let you girls get unpacked. I’ll be in my room next door to yours so if you want me to view any of your party outfits then just let me know’
‘I told you he was a creep, didn't I?’ whispers Martha in my ear.
I nod my head and wonder what the hell possessed Martha to move us both here with creepy Mr Chen and wonder whether this is meant to be my surprise, being greeted by a perverted middle aged Asian man.
Martha again guesses my thoughts.
‘Don’t worry sis, that’s not your surprise, I am not that cruel.’
She takes my hand and leads me into the flat and towards a door which I presume is our bedroom.
As I enter the bedroom, I see three basic single beds around the edge and Andre sitting crossed legged in the middle of the floor next to my rucksack eating a big slice of chocolate cake.
‘Sorry Ruby, I was waiting so long for you to arrive I got hungry, so I hope you don’t mind…maybe just view it as me being the tester to ensure you all don’t get food poisoning.’
I laugh out loud. This is just typical Andre, such a funny sight sitting on the floor with chocolate round his mouth like a baby. I tell him not to worry and I sit down on the floor to join him in eating cake, even though I’ve had a big meal already. I can’t say no to chocolate cake. Martha looks slightly mad that Andre had started on the cake already, but she just shrugs her shoulders and joins us. Chloe stares at us for a while and mutters under her breath but after some persuasion from Martha she eventually gives in and we all sit together talking and laughing.
Our evening of cake and conversation makes me feel warm and happy inside, although I do feel slightly guilty about being so ungrateful about the whole situation of finding a place to stay. Just before we get ready to go to bed, and as Andre prepares to leave, I give each one of them a long and tight hug.
I feel lucky that I have such beautiful friends and family and it makes me realise that sometimes chasing after the love of a man shouldn’t always be a top priority. The love of family and friends is always there and shouldn’t be ignored, especially if that love comes with chocolate cake.
CHAPTER 16
It’s nine o clock and I am holding up the side of the Opera Bar with my whisky in hand listening to another girl moan about how her ex-boyfriend didn’t value her and didn’t listen to what she had to say…blah…blah…blah. I am starting to get tired of listening to this crap and wish I had gone for the eager brunette on GirlmeetsBoy rather than this boring bleached blonde.
I even have my mother’s hotel room again at the Sydney Skyscraper tonight but I am starting to question whether there is someone else on my phone list I can ring and share the hotel bed with as I doubt I will get much sleep if she continues to yak as loudly as she does. She looks like a snorer too. She is averagely pretty, even with all that hideous slap on her face but her nostrils are the size of the Grand Canyon. She probably makes enough noise to register on the Richter scale.
I think about Ruby sometimes and how she was so different, almost refreshing to these other ditzy and glamour obsessed girls. Believe it or not I am starting to get a bit sick of all this chasing around just for a one night stand which often end up mediocre at best anyway.
Suddenly I spot a wave of blonde hair pass me at the bar, her arm linked around some guy who clearly walked straight out of the Institute…the Mental Institute.
No it can’t be…
CHAPTER 17
It’s been six months since I have last seen or heard from Ryan and in those six months I have kept my social life busy with lots of dates with a lot of weird men. I am starting to think I have the settings on GirlmeetsBoy set to the frog category.
Although, I have managed to score quite a few nice dinners out for free even if the dates were terrible. A silver lining, I suppose.
I chastise myself for that thought as this isn’t the Ruby of England, back home I would always pay for half and I would never go on dates with men I know were definitely bordering on the psychotic.
The last date I went on was with a guy called Spencer and he seemed to have some real potential as boyfriend material. He was well dressed, had a good job as a lawyer and had an interest in arts and culture. All seemed to be going well until after dinner when he decided to get out his box of floss from his jacket and began thoroughly flossing his teeth at the table and airing his tonsils to the world.
Then just as I thought the embarrassment of the flossing was over he then produced a small bottle of mouthwash from the same pocket on his jacket and then swilled it around his mouth before spitting it out into my water glass.
He then breathed all over my face just so I could check his breath was minty fresh. Seriously, there is a time and a place for oral hygiene and sitting at a restaurant table on a date isn’t one of them. I did question him about it at the time but he just gave me this look as if I was the one who came from Psychoville. Thankfully I had just enough acting skills to convince him I had ‘period pain’ and needed to go back to my flat to lie down in order to make a swift exit. I pray that no one knew me in that restaurant.
The guy before Spencer was even more peculiar as he decided to speak in a mock-pirate accent throughout the whole of our date. He kept asking me whether I wanted to touch the ‘Pretty Polly’ in his trousers. I sometimes wonder where men get these ideas that acting like a very poor version of Johnny Depp’s Captain Sparrow is the way to a woman’s heart.
Before the perverted pirate I also went on a few dates with a guy called Garth and to be fair he was fairly normal in comparison to the others. Although he just would not shut up about his ex-girlfriend. The whole time it was ‘Me and my ex-girlfriend did this…’, ‘I love it when my ex-girlfriend did this…’ he just got seriously boring after a while banging on and on about her all the time so I decided to call time on our dates. I don’t think he was too bothered as he’s still probably pining for his ex-girlfriend.
All this online dating is so stressful. That’s why today I have decided to make a very big decision. If this date doesn’t go well then I am having a break from the dating game. In fact, I might start looking online for convents in Australia… okay maybe I won’t become a nun but I won’t rule it out after some of the men I met.
Instead I will focus on my true love; illustration. I’ve really enjoyed drawing all the beautiful flowers I work with, and I would love to sell the illustrations on Tess’s stall if she lets me and I work up the confidence to show my work to someone else other than myself and Ryan that one embarrassing time. He said they were good and seemed to mean it. Or did h
e?
I let out a deep sigh as I sit on the steps of the Sydney Opera House waiting for my next date and my last hope at love. In midst of contemplating to myself, the state of my love life and the date I have tonight I get interrupted by a guy who looks like something out of a 1970s cop movie. He has brown hair which is heavily slicked back from his forehead and is wearing aviator sunglasses despite being dusk, a black shirt, leather jacket and neatly pressed black trousers. And most disconcerting of all, he has a big ugly moustache which looks like one of those fake ones you buy for the fancy dress store. Unfortunately his doesn’t look like one you can just rip off.
Despite my initial shock at his appearance, he decides to continue speaking at me. His voice is of such a high pitch I wonder whether he has given the local birds a fright as well as me.
‘Hi, my name is Pete; I believe you must be the beautiful Ruby?’
How the Dickens does this weirdo know my name?
Oh god have mercy, this guy is actually my date. He definitely doesn’t look anything like the pictures he posted online. He certainly isn’t scoring high with his looks and voice but I will give him top marks for his Photoshopping skills as he certainly convinced me he was handsome enough for a date, even with the moustache or maybe I was drinking too much of Chloe’s sangria at the time to realise how much of an odd job this guy was.
Seriously Ruby, a guy with a moustache what were you thinking? That you were Princess Peach and he was going to be your Mario?
I have been spending way too much time on GirlmeetsBoy.
I confirm to my date that yes, I am indeed Ruby despite wanting to vehemently deny that it is me. I try to think positively as despite the outside maybe on the inside he has a beautiful personality. As my mother always told me, never judge a book by its cover. Although I also think she told me not to hang around with nut jobs.
He looks at me with his creepy green eyes and then proceeds to carry on talking to me in his unnaturally high pitched voice.
‘Come, take my arm child. I shall escort you to the nearest drinking establishment where we will be merry and drink dainty drinks like little boys and girls at a tea party.’
Who talks like that? Also, I am not a child, what a creepy thing to say…. oh god maybe I am actually going on a date with a paedophile. Paedophile Pete. Jesus Christ Ruby, are you high? I need to get rid of this guy quickly, feign death if I really have to and just bloody get away from this fruit loop.
That slug across his face is enough to scare small children.
As I try to listen to my inner thoughts and plan my escape, somehow we get to the Opera Bar behind the Sydney Opera House for a drink, and then just as my evening can’t get any worse, a ghost from the past turns up.
Looks like he is on a date as well, she looks his type too, blonde bimbo ready to bend over backwards for him. I pretend to not see him and hope he hasn’t spotted me.
Bollocks. He is walking straight in my direction. No No No… please Ryan do not come over and gloat about how well your date is going and how I’ve ended up with Charles Bronson’s weakly brother. Despite my best evil eye, Ryan is still walking straight to me with Paris Hilton’s best friend on his arm. This guy is definitely being a dick with a capital D.
‘Heeeyyyy Ruby, fancy seeing you here! Who’s your friend?’
God he is one smug bastard. I see that Peter offers his hand as a way to introduce himself and Ryan just completely blanks him. Okay Pete looks and is strange but Ryan should at least be polite and shake his hand. I decide to have a dig at Ryan due to his rudeness.
‘Oh hey Ryan, how’s the Pet Detective business going?’
‘Errr what are you on about Ruby, I work as an accountant you know that.’
‘It was meant to be a joke Ryan as you look just like Ace Ventura in that tropical print shirt.’
Pete lets out a laugh and Ryan’s face turns to thunder.
He looks peeved and rightly so. That’s what he gets for gatecrashing my date and showing off like he always does.
‘I’m Sasha by the way’ pipes up the peroxide blonde.
Oh look the bimbo talks. No one asked for her input and I wish the two of them would just fuck off so I can make my escape from Pete and sit in my pyjamas with the girls at the flat and eat a big tub of ice cream and laugh at the ludicrous dates I find myself on.
Pete then grabs Sasha’s hand and places a sloppy kiss on it.
‘Please to meet you Sasha. Has anyone told you that you have beautiful brown eyes? They are just like Bambi’s.’
WOW. This guy seriously is mentally ill. He is meant to be on a date with me but is giving another girl compliments and chatting her up. Ryan is clearly not happy about Pete’s tactics either as he abruptly interrupts their conversation.
‘Let’s get some drinks, Ruby do you think you can give me a hand?’
I see that this could work to my advantage as it offers an escape route from Pete and as much as I’m hating on Ryan right now there is still something about him that pulls me to him and it would be nice to have a brief catch up and see what he is up to other than taking out questionable girls for drinks. Although I already have a feeling that I am going to be cursing myself later for agreeing to get drinks with him.
When we get to the bar Ryan looks back over his shoulder to where they are standing.
‘Excellent they’re not looking’. I’m guessing you are as desperate as me to get away from those two so let’s take a quick left and get lost in the crowd. Thankfully its busy tonight as there is an open-air art exhibition just outside the Opera House. We can wait there for a bit until they give up looking for us and then we can head elsewhere.’
I nod in agreement, secretly pleased that he found his date a bore and also excited that I am about to do my first ever runner in the middle of a date.
He grabs my arm and I half walk, half run to get away from the Opera Bar as quickly as possible.
I think we are about to get caught red-handed.
‘Hey! Guys where are you going…’ shouts Pete.
Ryan pulls hard on my arm as he directs me to the left towards the Opera House where we go into a full pelt run until we get into the middle of the art exhibition. We are surrounded by a large crowd who are trying to get a glimpse of the artwork that is decorating the concrete plinths and floor of the harbour. I spot some souvenir photo booths at the far end of the exhibition and point Ryan in that direction also. He moves his hand from my arm and clasps it into my hand and we head straight to the booths.
Ryan barges into one of the booths shoving a teenage couple already in there and mid-pose for their souvenir shot out of the way and then pulls me in to the cramped booth where I become a jumble of hands and feet with the couple of being forced to move out of the way.
The couple are not happy with Ryan shoving them out like that and they are beginning to cause a stink which is attracting attention from the crowd. I try to apologise and claim its some sort of emergency, which they really aren’t buying. I see Ryan reach for his wallet and pulls out some dollars, in fact it looks like about fifty dollars worth.
‘If I give this to ya mate will you bloody piss off.’
He shoves it in the pock-ridden boy’s hand which finally makes the guy shut up. He tries to act like he’s still annoyed by spitting on the ground but then he shoves the dollars in his jean pockets, takes his girlfriend’s hand and as they walk away, he mutters;
‘You can tell the guy’s a douchebag if he pays people fifty dollars to do as he says….’
Ryan vehemently responds with a ‘Fuck you’, whilst I close the thin blue cotton curtain across the booth entrance and try to find a comfortable way to share the white plastic seat in the middle of the booth. I place a finger on his lips to quieten him as I can hear our names being shouted around the art exhibition and I try to calm myself down and breathe slowly in and out. The shouting of our names is getting louder. I decide to peep round the curtain which is separating Ryan and I from the outside world to see wh
ether I can spot where they are and plan our next move.
As I look out I see that they are almost within touching distance of us but thankfully they have their backs to the booth. I briskly but quietly let go of the curtain and I put the whole of my hand across my mouth and my other hand on Ryan’s mouth in the hope that it will stop all sound. I then close my eyes in the hope that when I re-open them they will all just disappear and that this is all just a figment of my imagination.
I listen intently to the sound of their voices.
‘It looks like they have gone Sasha, Ruby did look a bit ill so maybe she had the shits and Ryan has gone to assist.’
‘Really? I have a feeling they may have just ditched us.’
‘Well either way they are going to be a while so why don’t we cut our losses and go on a date together.’
‘Sure, that would be cool. In fact my Dad owns a bar just a couple of streets away so we can go there and get our drinks for free.’
‘Let’s go my beautiful bambi.’
I wait a few more moments until I can no longer hear the clip-clopping of Sasha’s shoes and release my hand from my mouth and the other hand from Ryan’s mouth.
‘That fucking bitch. She was trying to run me dry by ordering the most expensive drinks and her Dad actually runs a fucking bar.’
Ryan leans back on the booth seat and after a short pause lets out the most raucous of laughs.
‘He thought you might have had the shits. Unbelievable. Well Ruby we sure do pick ‘em.’
He raises his hand so I can give him a high five, which I do to show that our mission has been completed and then I re-cap the ludicrousness of our situation.
‘Even worse is that he thinks you were assisting me! How? What were you going to do? Stand there and hold the toilet roll whilst the inside of my intestines shot through my backside?’
Ryan is now in stitches of laughter and is clutching his sides, which makes me go into hysterics also and causes us both to slide off the plastic chair and on to the photo booth floor. I haven’t laughed like this in a long while. After a minute or so, we eventually regain composure and scramble back on to the plastic seat.
When Love Meets Lust Page 10
