When Love Meets Lust
Page 16
I look at her in sheer disbelief that during my time of turmoil she is trying to flog her next book to her son. I need my Mum not Dr. Lara Turner the celebrity psychologist.
After seeing my confused and hurt face, she bursts into a hearty laugh; ‘I’m only joking Ryan, let’s go into the kitchen and have some tea and cake and you can fill me in on the whole story and we can work out what to do next. And I promise not to refer to my book or any of my other publications during our conversation.’
This is Mum’s solution to everything, a good cup of tea and a decent piece of cake. It’s a family tradition back from when she was growing up in the UK. Apparently, her Grandmother refused to solve any family problems until everyone had eaten a slice of cake and had a cup of tea. I am surprised our family isn’t riddled with diabetes.
Larry suddenly skips in to the kitchen gleaning for attention. I really do not need this guy to sit their grinning whilst I wallow in my own misery and telling Mum how much of a fool I have been. Luckily Mum has her ‘Ryan needs some alone time with Mum’ radar on full beam and gives him something to do.
‘Larry be a doll would you and head to the shops to get me some more cake, I think Ryan and I will probably finish the last of the coconut and cherry I have, and you know how miserable I get if there isn’t enough cake in the house…’
Larry does as he is told and heads to the landing where he grabs his shorts and thankfully a t-shirt to cover up the red lobster look he is sporting underneath before making his way to the front door.
If it was me I would have told him to do something too but it ends in off and really isn't a nice thing to say in the company of others.
After devouring the door slab slice of cherry and coconut cake and slurping my Earl Grey, I fill Mum in on the whole situation. After talking it through I feel slightly better and more optimistic that I can win Ruby back knowing that I have her address in England and can write to her and hopefully convince her to come back and start again.
I eagerly look at Mum to see what her response will be and how I can work at winning her back. She takes a sharp intake of breath and I already know she isn’t going to give me the answer I want to hear.
‘Well Ryan, in my honest opinion I think you should give this girl some space. A lot has happened to both of you over the past few months and I think you both need some time away from each other, and that includes time apart in the virtual and letter writing world too. This is the first time I have seen you this besotted about a girl and I want to make sure that you are doing the right thing Ryan. Focus on you for a bit, besides what’s love but a second-hand emotion?’
‘Firstly Mum, did you just quote me a Tina Turner song? Secondly, I really don’t see the harm in sending her a letter, besides what with it needing to go all the way to England it will be a couple of weeks until she would get it and I really don’t want to lose this girl and for her to think that I am douchebag by not getting in contact.’
She sighs heavily, ‘Well Ryan all the communication methods you have tried so far haven’t grabbed her attention. What makes you think she will respond to your letter after just a couple of weeks back in the UK where she will still be processing her time in Australia and working out what to do next. Give it time Ryan. Time is a good healer. Both you and Ruby need time to become strong loving individuals again. If you both still feel the same in a few month’s time you can put your all in the relationship and the bond between you will be tighter and more solid than before as you've spent time reflecting and working out what you want… and by the way I did quote you a bit of ‘What’s Love Got To Do With It’ from the legend that is Tina Turner. If Tina can look at love in a more objective way then I am sure you can too Ryan’, she then chuckles to herself and winks in my direction.
Knowing that I am still not quite convinced by her approach, she touches my hand in a comforting way as she continues with her sensible lecture mode as to what to do next in my love life.
‘Be strong Ryan, I know you will get through these next few months, besides in three month’s time I am actually off to the UK for a three-week book tour. Unfortunately my beautiful snuggle puppy Larry is booked up to perform as a dancer in Madame Butterfly at the Sydney Opera House so he won’t be able to join me…soooo…I am going to need a new travel partner…are you up for it? It would mean that if your feelings for this girl are still as strong as they are now you can send her that letter in person which would be much more romantic than sending it through the post. So what do ya say Ryan?’
‘I’m in.’ I reply assertively.
‘Excellent, I’ll sort out your flights and stuff and in the meantime spend some quality time reflecting on what you really want from life.’
Sometimes there is an upside to having a Mum who is a psychology professor even if she does have a boyfriend who she refers to as a ‘snuggle puppy’.
Three months feels like an eternity right now, as I want to hold Ruby now and tell her how much she means to me but as much as I hate saying it, Mum is right, we both need time to breathe and digest the relationship we have had. I know my feelings won’t change for her in the coming months. Besides it will give me time to do something I never thought before, which is to come to terms with the feeling of love instead of the feelings of lust.
CHAPTER 31
Well this isn’t quite how I expected my trip to Australia to end. I was hoping for a big group of friends I would’ve have met on my travels in Australia to see me and my sister off back home with lots of hugs and smiles and promises of visits to see them all. Martha and I would then skip into departures and begin planning our next trip to Australia and how we will one day make Paradise our home.
Instead I am on my own, emotionally exhausted from everything this country has thrown at me. The situation isn’t helped by the fact I have just had to do battle with the Barbie doll look alike behind the British Airways desk to get a flight. Thankfully her acrylic nails managed to tap some magic keys and find me a seat on to the next flight to London via Dubai due to a last-minute cancellation.
As I sit by the gate waiting to return to old Blighty, I do my best to avoid the irritating little boy who is going up and down the gangways on his wheely suitcase that’s in the shape of a unicorn.
‘Go Sparky...Go!’ shouts the toddler as he veers very close to my legs. I swear to God if he runs over my foot with that fucking suitcase I will put Sparky the Unicorn so far up that child’s backside he will have something to shout about. Knowing my luck, I’ll be sitting next to this Terror Toddler for the whole journey home.
Whilst trying to avoid an amputated foot, I think about my time in Australia and also Ryan.
I have learnt a lot during my time here and not just that drop bears don’t exist. The first is that there is more to life than sitting at a desk. Having the opportunity to try something different and learn the basic skills of floristry and also being able to publish my illustrations has made me more determined than ever to have a career that is not 9-5. I also met lots of interesting people and will miss not being able to have random catch ups with Andre, making jokes with the customers at ‘Fascinating Florals’ and sharing my dating disasters with Tess, Martha and Chloe and eating my body weight in Tim Tams.
I will also miss the weather even though it’s not always as perfect as the travel brochures told me. Despite the incident on Bondi beach, I still love the beaches of Sydney and being able to hear sound of the waves crashing on the shore and watching all the surfers bob about in the water whilst the runners go past them leaving imprints in the wet sand.
I won’t however miss having to share my personal space with everybody and I won’t miss Vegemite as Marmite rules no matter what any Aussie tells you and I won’t, despite my heart telling me otherwise, miss Ryan.
I begin to wonder whether I really did fall in love with Ryan or just had a bad case of lust. After seeing Tanya writhing on his bed I am just totally confused as to whether he felt any love towards me at all or whether it was just a ga
me to him as to see how far he could go with a loved up Pommie.
Looking back its been an adventure full of highs and lows, although I doubt Disney will be making a film about my life anytime soon.
When I get back home I intend to make a promise to myself not to take life too seriously and to stop looking for love as it is causing me more pain than joy. Now it is time to not give a care in the world about feelings and just lust rather than love…Ryan seems to have coped perfectly well with lusting rather than loving…
And as I let out an audible sigh, I hear the tannoy announcement tell me it’s time to board my flight.
I jump to my feet and join the boarding pass queue, my heart beating unexpectedly fast in my chest. This is it. My time in Australia is up. I look at the scar on my arm and shudder knowing that the attack could have been a lot worse if it wasn’t for Ryan. The scar is also a reminder of how precious life is and that I need to grab and go for any opportunity I can.
Once boarded I walk quickly to the plane to prevent me having second thoughts and returning back to a land that was filled with so much promise. I do my best not to make eye contact with the perfectly dressed air hostess at the plane door so she cannot see my feeble attempts to screw up my face to stop the big fat tears rolling down my slightly sunburnt cheeks.
The feeling of sadness does not last long as I notice that a unicorn case is being placed into the luggage compartment above where I am about to be seated. It looks like I will be spending the next twenty-four hours thinking of different ways to kill the Terror Toddler and make it look like an accident. I let out another deep sigh, place my bag in the compartment also and pull my phone from the back pocket of my jeans in order to switch it to flight mode before we take off.
On the screen I notice that amongst the several voice mails and texts from Ryan several hours ago, I have a message from Laurence. I’d almost forgotten about Laurence during my time with Ryan. Although we did keep in touch throughout my time in Oz, even after he went back to the UK after doing his farm work several months ago.
I open the message to read it fully and feel my heart beginning to pound again. I excitedly turn my phone off and put it back in my rucksack and sit down in my seat knowing that even the Terror Toddler next to me won’t be able to dampen my mood now. There is a new adventure that awaits in the UK and I cannot wait for it to begin.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
A big thank you to my parents Denise and Andrew who have encouraged and believed in my writing even when I doubted myself. And Dad, “You can, you can, you can my son!!” Also to my brother Rob; don’t forget your sister when you are earning lots of P!
A super massive thank you to the handsome and mysterious Duke, who has had to listen to me continuously talk about my hopes and fears in writing this book. Throughout you have remained, patient, calm and just truly amazing. I look forward to our future adventures together.
Ashleigh and Steph, thank you for ensuring my time in Australia was an adventure I will never forget.
Also a thanks to Susan Harrison who helped edit this book and to Jessica Bell, for creating such an awesome cover.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ever since she learned how to read, Stephanie has loved books, so much so that she decided to begin writing her own books full of fun, love and adventure.
Stephanie has written for a variety or publications in a non-fiction capacity, both in the UK and Australia and is keen to venture further into the world of fiction.
When not putting pen to paper you can find her trying to grapple with the law or stuffing her face with chocolate buttons.
To keep up to date with the latest news and publications from Stephanie Cross, connect via the following channels:
Twitter: @stephiecross1
Web: www.itsdefinitelystephanie.com
Table of Contents
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14
CHAPTER 15
CHAPTER 16
CHAPTER 17
CHAPTER 18
CHAPTER 19
CHAPTER 20
CHAPTER 21
CHAPTER 22
CHAPTER 23
CHAPTER 24
CHAPTER 25
CHAPTER 26
CHAPTER 27
CHAPTER 28
CHAPTER 29
CHAPTER 30
CHAPTER 31