An Unconventional Love: A Novella

by Warren, Alexandra

  We were almost out of the door before she grabbed the frame to stabilize herself and asked, “Where’s Nia?”

  “Fuck Nia. Clearly she’s not a real friend if she let your drunk ass go up there with him.”

  “But I came with herrrr.”

  “Well you’re leaving with me.” She gave me her little grunt, before I continued dragging her to the car. Instead of worrying about getting her buckled into the front seat, I just pushed her into the back so that she could lay down. I knew once she did, the car seat would probably feel like it was spinning so I could only hope she would save her vomiting until we got home.

  rich.

  “Don’t overreact.”

  “We were all young once.”

  “We all make mistakes.”

  “At least she called for help.”

  I was prepping myself for the conversation I had to have with Rae and all of Jasmine’s one-liners weren’t making me feel any better about the shit Rae had gotten herself into. Not only had she lied about where she was going, she had also gotten so drunk that Jasmine had to practically carry her in the house. I didn’t even recall Jasmine leaving the bed but I was grateful that she had went out of her way to make sure Rae got home safely.

  Even though it was still fairly early in the morning, I was ready to get it over with so I knocked on Rae’s door before entering as more of a warning than asking for permission to come in. Rae’s head was buried under a few pillows which I recognized as a move from Hangover 101, especially since the sun was beaming in right through her window. I sat on the edge of the bed, giving her a few shakes before she finally began to stir. Once she realized it was me, she straightened up a little bit but only as much as her still fairly alcohol-induced state allowed her to.

  “Good morning, Rae.”

  “Good morning, Rich.”

  Her breath was super crusty in only a way alcohol could do. I turned my head out of stank ass breath range before I said, “Glad to see your alive.”

  Her eyebrows furrowed as she questioned with a little attitude, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “Considering how drunk you were last night, it could’ve easily went the other way.” Though I was glad she had made it home safely, I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of peer pressure she had succumbed to, to even get to that state in the first place.

  “I wasn’t going to die, Rich. I just had a little too much. But I’m good now.” It bothered me to no end that she was speaking of it so nonchalantly as if she hadn’t learned her lesson but I couldn’t let that deter me.

  “Yeah, thanks to Jasmine.”

  “I’ll get her a gift card to Carter’s or something and thank her.”

  Her head was almost back under the pillows but the conversation was far from over. I remembered being her age and wanting to fit in, but never to a point where I gave up so much of myself to get other people’s attention; especially the attention of the opposite sex.

  Jasmine hadn’t given me all the details but I was almost sure Rae’s actions had something to do with boys forcing me to ask, “Rae, is there something I need to be worried about?”

  “No.”

  “Rae…”

  “What? There’s not. I messed up. But I survived. So it’s all good.” Again, her nonchalance was pissing me off but I did my best to keep things in perspective.

  “I’m your brother and I get it so I’m not gonna pretend like I haven’t been there and done that. Just be careful Rae. Jasmine and I won’t always be a call away. You gotta take care of yourself, sis.” Knowing she’d be off to college in a few months and hadn’t picked up some of those basic survival skills had me concerned.

  “I got this, Rich. I learned my lesson. It won’t happen again.” I knew those phrases hardly ever carried any real weight but I chucked it up as being part of the maturing process.

  She’d figure it out.

  jasmine.

  Awkward was an understatement.

  I was enjoying my baby shower, busy being the center of attention and who walks in?

  My damn mama who wanted nothing to do with me or my pregnancy as shown by her little message sent via Bailey-mail.

  I didn’t know what to say or what to do, so I pretended like I didn’t see her until she said, “Jasmine Marie Monroe, come greet your mother.” I couldn’t pretend like I didn’t hear her since everybody in the damn venue heard her, so I slowly made my way over to her, using my belly as an excuse to go slowly.

  Once I made it to her, she gave me a fake ass hug with two fake ass cheek kisses. I was trying to figure out who the hell she was putting on a show for. To people that really knew me, it was no secret that my mom and I didn’t have the best relationship. But I suppose for the new people, like my co-workers and people from school, and Rich’s extended family, it probably appeared to be a loving moment.

  “Bailey dear, will you take a picture of Jasmine and I? I’d love to show everyone on the Facebook my grandson in the making.” She was already standing next to me in a pose.

  “Facebook? Since when do you use Facebook?”

  “I just got an account a month or two ago. You would know that if you came around more often.” There was no way in hell I was stepping foot in that house anytime soon especially considering I was ordered to avoid all stressful situations. Yet somehow, the stressful situation had made its way to me.

  “I don’t go where I’m not wanted. No reason to hang out where I’m not welcomed...Mom.” I smiled as Bailey snapped a few pictures on her phone before switching over to my mom’s phone.

  “You’re still upset over that little argument? That was so long ago.” I couldn’t believe she was really trying to play that shit off like she wasn’t the one that had kicked me out in the first place. Now that she knew I was with child and had shown up to my baby shower, I was just supposed to act like it never happened?

  Fuck that.

  “It’s not about how long ago it was. It’s about how many times we’ve had that same damn argument.” Bailey, along with some of the other random shower attendees, were finally done snapping pictures so I could release the fake smile I was forcing.

  “Language, Jasmine. Remember your son can hear you now.” Even her pleasant little voice was pissing me off but I couldn’t let her get to me. That was exactly what she wanted.

  “Whatever, Patty. This is my day so if you could do your best to be a little...less you, I’d greatly appreciate it.”

  )~o~(

  The baby shower had worn my ass completely out. In addition to dealing with my mom, I had to play the happy pregnant girl for everyone in attendance. I wasn’t exactly miserable but I was damn sure ready to drop Baby Rich off as soon as possible. Thankfully, Daddy Rich had shown up at the end of the baby shower to help us get the gifts and me back to his place.

  He was busy going to work on my feet while I was busy trying not to fall asleep. He was like a magician with his hands; knowing all the right places to apply pressure. This was definitely something I could get use to.

  “Your mom seems like a nice lady.”

  Suddenly I was wide awake.

  Sure she had done a fantastic job of playing the role of nice lady during the baby shower, but overall?

  “Fuck her.”

  “Jasmine, that’s not right man. You can’t take her for granted like that. Shit, I wish my mom was still here.” I had learned overtime that Rich’s parents had died within a year’s span of each other; one from a heart attack and the other from practically having her heart taken away from her. I could only imagine what a love like that must feel like.

  “Rich, if your mom would’ve judged you for wanting to learn how to cook, or for wanting to do art, would you still see her so highly?”

  “Probably not.”

  “Exactly. I’m not saying she’s a completely bad person; I just don’t feel the need to put myself in a position to always be under her microscope. If she wants to judge me from afar, that’s fine. But I refuse to let her view of me chang
e me to the point where I’m not myself.” After watching what had happened - what was still happening - to Bailey, I knew I couldn’t let that happen to me.

  “I get it, Jasmine. But still...I think ya’ll need to hash that shit out, let bygones be bygones and move on.” It sounded so easy coming from Rich, but I knew with Patty involved, there was no such thing as letting bygones be bygones.

  I pulled my feet out of his lap, curling them under me. “Whatever. Can we be done with this?”

  “Sure, if we can move on to something else.” I immediately saw the light in his eyes and knew some bullshit was coming.

  “Like what?”

  “Like when you’re gonna quit playing and move in with me. Rich Jr. is gonna be here pretty soon and I mean...you should probably be settled in before he comes.”

  Ahh here we go again.

  I was actually starting to consider it the more and more Rich and I spent time together. Lowkey, I had already been thinking about the few tweaks I would make to the decor and how much I could fit into Rich’s walk-in closet and how good I would look cooking in his nice ass kitchen and how my BMW would take the place of one of his little toys in the garage and how…

  “Jasmine?”

  “Huh?”

  “I asked you a question.”

  You did?

  “What?”

  “I asked you when is your lease up?’

  “Oh, it’s been up. I’ve just been paying the month-to-month rate until we got things figured out.”

  Rich actually looked a little upset with me, a face I wasn’t use to, when he asked, “What’s left to figure out?”

  It was a good question.

  A fair question.

  And one I certainly didn’t have a good answer to.

  I mean what was really left to figure out?

  Rich liked me and I lov...liked him, we were having a baby and there was more than enough room to accommodate me.

  “Ummm….”

  He gave me his usual smug smirk that always made me a little tingly before he said, “Right. I can have the packers and movers at your place by noon tomorrow.”

  “What are you trying to say, Rich?”

  “I guess what I’m trying to say is...welcome home Miss. Jasmine.”

  rich.

  Twenty-seven.

  It sounded good and it felt even better.

  I was in a good place mentally. My son was gonna arrive at any minute. Rae had graduated high school with honors. I was making moves at work. And to top it all off, I had my fine ass, looking even better with child, woman by my side. I kept telling her I would have her barefoot and pregnant forever, popping out baby after baby, but I could only take so many, “I’m gonna cut off your dick in your sleep” threats before I gave up on that dream. I guess in a way, my dreams were coming true either way.

  After the little party my co-workers threw for me at the office, I was excited to see how my birthday celebration would continue on. Jamison and I planned on going out for drinks with his buddy Dawson but I had to stop by the crib first to change clothes.

  When I walked into the house, the lights were low and there was some smooth R&B playing. A few candles were scattered amongst the entryway and there was a faint smell of melted cheese coming from the kitchen. I rounded the corner into the kitchen and found Jasmine, in all of her pregnant and mostly-naked glory, bent over in front of the oven. I took a minute to appreciate all of her womanhood before I announced myself.

  “Jasmine?”

  She bent down a smidge further and bumped her bare belly right on the oven’s glass.

  “Shit!”

  I immediately grabbed a towel, running it under the coldest water I could get, before I placed it on her belly.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “Well mission failed.” She took over holding the cold towel to her belly before she continued on, “I didn’t think you would be home for at least another half hour.”

  “They threw me a little party so we all left the office once it was over. But umm...let’s talk about what you have going on here.” I grabbed her free hand and gave her a little spin, taking a good look at just how much justice Rich Jr. had already done for her body.

  “I guess I called myself giving you a little birthday surprise.”

  “And burning yourself in the process?”

  “Still getting use to this thing,” she replied, as she gave her belly a rub before taking a peek at her burn.

  “Well you still look beautiful, burn and all.” She peeked up at me to flash a little smile before she went back to tending to her burn. I lent her a helping hand by taking what I found out were enchiladas from the oven and setting them on the stove. “And since when do you cook?” For the short time that Jasmine had lived with us, I had done all the cooking to ensure that she was getting the nutrients she needed to take care of our baby. It was evident that she was use to eating to maintain her petite frame instead of eating to feed an extra person so I would often have to remind her to eat more food and more often even though she thought she was already eating and looking like an elephant.

  “Special occasion I suppose.”

  I walked over to her, wrapping my arms around her waist, letting my hands rest right on top of hers. She probably didn’t even realize how much she sunk right into me.

  “Awww baby mama was trying to take care of her man for his birthday, huh?”

  “Don’t start, Rich. I promised myself that I would be nice to you today so don’t make me renege.” I couldn’t help laughing at her little threat.

  “I just love your crazy ass.” She froze and I didn’t know why until I thought about what I said.

  I loved her?

  I mean, that’s what I said so it must have some truth to it right?

  I felt her release a heavy breath before she worked her way out of my hold. I could see the tension in her face before she said, “Can we not...do that?”

  “Do what?”

  “The whole...love thing.”

  “What’s wrong with love?”

  “There’s nothing...wrong with it. I just...it’s not something I do. And I don’t want you to be disappointed by the fact that I’ll probably never say it back.” It really didn’t surprise me that Jasmine wasn’t a fan of love considering she wasn’t really a fan of relationships or marriage or any type of commitment to someone else. But I couldn’t help wondering why she wouldn’t allow herself to just try it.

  “Because you don’t love me? Or because you’re afraid of love?”

  “Maybe both? I don’t know, Rich. I’m happy here. I enjoy spending time with you. But I don’t…”

  I really didn’t need to hear her excuses to get the point so I decided to save her the trouble of giving them by cutting her off, “It’s cool. I get it. But my statement remains the same.”

  jasmine.

  I was being ridiculous.

  That was the conclusion I came to after talking to Ariel, and Bailey, and the random old lady in the coffee shop that I visited when I needed my dose of peppermint tea.

  Rich wanted to love me.

  He did love me.

  And I didn’t say it back not because I didn’t feel it but because of my own personal reservations on the topic. It was like I knew the difference between the right kind of love and the wrong kind of love, I could surely point it out in a line-up, but I didn’t wanna set myself up by having expectations for how it would affect my world. I saw firsthand how it had affected my mom to the point of no return and there was no way I was gonna put myself in the same position.

  But according to everyone I spoke to, the risk was well worth the reward.

  So when I decided to be risky and show up to Rich’s office unannounced, I just assumed I would receive good karma for stepping out of my comfort zone.

  Wrong.

  Leave it to me to make it to his office after walking around on swollen ankles for close to a half an hour looking a sweaty mess all ready to pr
ofess my love for him. I attempted to at least readjust my clothes once I made it to his office door but found it to be no use. He’d just have to take me for who I was. I gave a little knock and he practically opened it immediately, surprised to see it was me. I had saw Rich leave home in his business suit plenty of times, but seeing him with it on in context was a whole new orgasm waiting to happen. He gave me a kiss before taking my hand and leading me into his office, shutting the door behind him.

  “What brings you by, babe? Is something wrong?”

  “No, nothing’s wrong. I was just umm...I was coming because I wanted to tell you that I’ve been...thinking. And I...oh my God.” Baby Rich was always super active, kicking the shit outta me every chance he could. But this pain...this pain felt a little different.

  “Are you alright?”

  I held myself up using the side of Rich’s desk as I piped out, “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I guess Baby Rich wanted to talk to his...what the fuck!” Rich jumped into action, coming from behind his desk to help me get into one of his office chairs. He then grabbed me a glass of water, damn near forcing me to drink it. I took two gulps, feeling a little more relaxed but only for a few minutes until another sharp-shooting pain went through me.

  Rich snatched up his phone, keys, and wallet before helping me stand up, “We gotta go, Jasmine. I think you might be going into labor.”

  “Labor? This is what labor feels...mothafucka!” I closed my eyes, using Rich’s hand to release all the torture his son was causing inside of me. He continued to guide me out of his office, past all of his nosey ass colleagues to the parking garage. I practically fell into the passenger’s seat of his car, fighting him off when he tried to put the seatbelt over me. “If you don’t get your ass in that driver’s seat and get me to the hospital!” He only smiled before shutting my door and jogging over to his side of the car, hopping in and skirting out of the parking lot.

  rich.

  I tried to appear all cool, calm, and collected as I ducked and dodged through traffic trying to get Jasmine to the hospital. Little did she know, I was probably more nervous, more anxious, more overwhelmed than her.