His thoughts stalled abruptly when he caught sight of the slender, almost child-like figure waiting uncertainly by the main reception desk at the entrance to the unit.
He couldn’t seem to breathe for a moment as he was struck by her ethereal beauty, then couldn’t help taking advantage of the fact she hadn’t seen him to look his fill.
She looked as if a puff of wind would blow her away, and that impression was only compounded by the soft cloud of silvery blonde curls and deep blue eyes that made her seem as if she only needed a pair of gossamer wings to complete the picture.
Utter nonsense, he scoffed silently. You only had to take a look at that determined little chin to realise that she had enough stubbornness for a whole herd of mules. That, after all, was what it would have needed to get her to this point in her life.
‘Ah, there you are, Mr Weatherby,’ the receptionist said, and the newest member of his team turned sharply towards him and almost felled him in his tracks with a single smile.
‘Josh!’ she exclaimed, hurrying towards him and clearly bubbling over with excitement.
‘Dr Dixon,’ he replied firmly, in spite of the fact that his voice felt almost rusty in his throat.
He saw the split second that she realised her faux pas and watched her deliberately replace her happy expression with a more serious one. ‘I’m sorry. I mean, good morning, Mr Weatherby.’
The attempt at keeping her expression straight failed in a second and he was almost tempted to laugh out loud. That face would never be able to hide what she was thinking and feeling, any more than those blue eyes could stop gleaming with the sheer joy of being alive. That was just one reason why he would always blame himself for…
‘I can’t believe it, can you?’ she demanded, stepping close enough to grab his arm with one slender hand and almost bouncing with excitement.
Even through the thick cotton of his white coat and the thinner sleeve of his shirt he could feel the warmth of her hand, but the sensation was far closer to the sharp hum of electricity as every hair stood to attention all over his body at the innocent contact.
‘I finally made it, Josh! I’m on the way to being a paediatrician. Isn’t it just the most—?’
‘Congratulations,’ he interrupted formally, conscious of watchful eyes and wary of gossip.
As he forced himself to step back, he told himself that it was not only on his own account but for the sake of the newest member of his team. She would hardly want to be the subject of hospital gossip on her first morning.
The increased distance between them meant that she had to release her hold on him but he still had to stifle a groan at his body’s instant response to the innocuous contact from her slender hand.
It was just so wrong.
This was Dani, the tiny baby he’d fallen in love with from the first moment he’d seen her in the incubator that day, and who’d been his baby sister in everything but blood and name.
And from this morning on, he reminded himself silently, she was just the latest doctor to spend six months in his department while she decided whether it was the area of medicine in which she wanted to specialise.
‘Now,’ he said briskly, ‘if you’d like to follow me, let’s see just how much you’ve learned.’
He turned and strode back towards the other end of the unit, cursing himself for his abruptness. Once again he’d wiped the happiness off her face as swiftly as if he’d slapped her, and that hadn’t been his intention. He just couldn’t cope with any physical contact between the two of them, no matter how innocuous; had deliberately avoided being anywhere in her vicinity ever since the disastrous events of her eighteenth birthday.
‘I don’t know how detailed a tour you were given around the unit when you came for your interview, but—’
‘Josh,’ she interrupted softly, her dark blue eyes looking almost bruised. ‘Is this going to be too difficult for you…having me working in your unit?’
He nearly snorted aloud at the innocence of her question.
Difficult? Try bloody impossible, especially when she stood there looking as if she was made of spun sugar and all he wanted to do was…
‘You got the job on merit,’ he pointed out gruffly. ‘Remember? I excused myself from your interview in case my presence biased the choice of candidate. Now all you have to do is prove that the committee made the right decision.’
‘But…’ She paused uncertainly.
He knew he hadn’t answered her question, but hoped that at least he’d been able to redirect her thoughts. Then he saw those slender shoulders straighten and that neat little chin inch up a little further, and knew she’d accepted the challenge.
He stifled a sigh, knowing that his life would have been very much easier if Dani had chosen a similar post in another hospital, but, without being big-headed about it, he knew that his unit was one of the best for the next stage of her training if she was still determined to specialise in paediatrics. That was especially true if she was leaning towards neonatal medicine.
‘This is the neonatal end of the unit,’ he said crisply, unable to prevent the touch of pride in his tone, ‘and it’s the most recent development within the department.’
‘Did it take you long to get approval?’ Those dark blue eyes were visually cataloguing the set-up, from the individual prettily-curtained bays—all occupied at the moment—to the mind-boggling array of monitoring equipment surrounding each clear acrylic isolette.
‘Long enough, but it was securing the level of financing that was the biggest headache. There’s just so much specialist equipment needed and the cost of each item is astronomical.’
‘That always seems so strange to me,’ she said thoughtfully. ‘When the cost of electronic items on the high street has come down so much, why should similar items be so inordinately expensive when they’re being sold to hospitals?’
He was unsurprised that she should have the same niggling suspicions that he’d been harbouring for years. It just didn’t seem credible that so many extra millions could be poured into a system and do so little good.
But that wasn’t the issue, here, he reminded himself sternly. He’d always known that she was ready to take issue with any injustice she uncovered, right from kindergarten age, and he was struck with a sudden desire to test the mettle of this new member of his team to see whether she had changed. This was no longer a matter of girls being prevented from joining the boys’ football team but the hidebound monolith of the NHS she was criticising. How would she defend her contentious words?
‘You make it sound as if hospital suppliers are profiteering at the government’s expense—or that those in charge of the hospital’s finances aren’t doing their job properly,’ he commented quietly. ‘Either of those scenarios would be one heck of an accusation.’
‘If I were making an accusation,’ she countered calmly. ‘All I’m saying is that it seems very strange that in the same week that I bought my brand-new top-of-the-line flat-screen computer monitor, the ward I was working on at my last hospital received a similar but several-years-out-of-date model costing three times the price.’
So, his new colleague wasn’t easily flustered, he noted with pleasure, and she still had the keen eye for finances that was the result of the less-than-opulent upbringing that her good-quality clothing would suggest. Interesting.
The sudden intrusion of one of the babies’ monitors drew their attention and he led the way across to one of the unit’s most recent patients.
They were just in time to see the nurse flick the bottom of the baby’s tiny foot, then reach up to reset the monitor.
‘She just needed to be reminded to keep breathing,’ she said with a smile, before her gaze strayed to the woman standing at his side.
‘Nadia, this is Dr Danielle Dixon. She has just joined us this morning.’ He turned towards Dani, careful not to meet those stunning blue eyes. ‘Nadia is one of our most experienced NICU nurses.’
‘Pleased to meet you, Nadia. Call me D
ani,’ she said with that smile that came all the way from her heart. For a second her hand came up as if she was going to offer it in a shake, then she shook her head with a self-deprecating laugh. ‘One of these days I’ll remember that people wearing gloves don’t want to contaminate themselves by shaking hands.’
‘Believe me, it won’t take long,’ Nadia promised wryly. ‘That antiseptic-antibiotic gel we have to use on our hands is so vicious that we learn to avoid any unnecessary contact very quickly. Another nurse in the unit had to give up nursing because her hands were permanently raw and bleeding and she just couldn’t stand it any more.’
‘They’re trialling some new products at the moment,’ Josh offered. ‘Apparently, the hospital has received so many complaints that they’ve been forced into it, but they’ve got to make sure that the new products are at least as good at preventing cross-infection as the gel before they can sanction their use.’
‘In the meantime, in the interest of patient safety, the staff has to put up with the status quo, even though the discomfort is more likely to make them want to skip using the stuff causing the problem,’ Nadia pointed out.
‘Well, I hope you’re not implying that any of my staff are getting into slipshod habits,’ Josh demanded grimly. ‘If I thought that these tiny people were being put at risk by—’
‘Not a chance,’ Nadia interrupted with a quick smile. ‘You’ve hand-picked every one of them, so you know they’re not going to let you down.’ She turned her attention to Dani. ‘I hope you realise the impossible standards you’re going to have to achieve to keep up with this man.’
Josh couldn’t miss the gleam in those dark blue eyes as she met his gaze head on.
‘I’ve heard all about Mr Weatherby,’ she said quietly. ‘And even though I might not come up to his exacting expectations yet, it doesn’t mean that I’d ever give up trying.’
There was something in her expression that he couldn’t read and there was definitely something in the determination in her voice that told him she was delivering a personal message, but with Nadia as an onlooker this wasn’t the right time to ask what that message was. The last thing either of them needed was gossip and speculation about the two of them.
She didn’t know what impulse had her sending the message, but even though she was exhausted by a very long first day in her new job, she hadn’t been able to resist when she’d checked her computer for messages and seen that he was logged on.
DaniD: Are you still speaking to me, BB?
Then, of course, she’d had to sit there, almost holding her breath while she waited to see if he would answer.
Had she made a monumental mistake in applying for the post?
It was all she’d ever wanted to do, but after that disastrous episode on her eighteenth birthday…all her own fault, of course…things had never been the same between the two of them since. If she’d made everything worse by—
BB: What’s the matter, DaniD? Have you forgotten that I’m more likely to shout at you than go silent?
She was so relieved that he’d answered that her eyes were actually burning with the threat of tears.
DaniD: Not the strong silent type, then?
BB: Hardly!
She could almost hear his huff of laughter. He’d always been so driven to succeed in whatever he set his heart on that he definitely wasn’t the sort to suffer fools gladly. She could imagine that his reputation as a perfectionist was well earned.
BB: Having second thoughts?
DaniD: About what?
BB: The job.
DaniD: No! None!
Well, that wasn’t quite true.
She certainly didn’t have any regrets about her choice of career. It was early days yet, but so far it looked as if it was going to be everything she’d always imagined it would be.
No, the doubts were of a more personal kind, and something that really couldn’t be shared with the man who’d dubbed himself BB…her big brother…from the moment she’d been born.
Except she hadn’t seen him as a brother at all since long before her eighteenth birthday, while he never saw her as anything other than the little helpless girl he had to look after…even though she was now twenty-seven.
BB: Get some sleep. Tomorrow won’t be any easier.
She growled aloud when she read the message. It could have been sent to an immature teenager needing a prod to send her to bed for the night, and sent her angrily scrolling across for the icon to close the messenger function on the screen. When would he ever admit that she was now an adult and could decide for herself when it was time to go to sleep? She—
Just before she could click the annoying man into oblivion he sent again.
BB: You did well today, Dani, especially getting that IV in first time. See you tomorrow.
She sat back and stared at the final message he’d sent before severing the connection and couldn’t help the satisfied grin that crept over her face.
She’d been proud of herself for getting that right, especially with him hovering over her shoulder. That fragile vein couldn’t have been much thicker than a thread of cotton and she’d been certain that everyone could see that her hands were shaking with nerves, but the needle had gone in as easily as if she’d been doing it for years.
‘So, my first day wasn’t too bad,’ she murmured aloud as warmth spread through her at his praise. ‘Well, that’s stage one of the master plan under way. By the time the next six months are over, I’ll know whether I’m on track towards a paediatric consultancy.’
She pulled a face when a familiar voice in the corner of her mind said, She’s always been determined to follow in her big brother’s footsteps, ever since she learned to walk.
‘Oh, Mum, if only you knew,’ she said on a sigh, smiling when she remembered the last time she’d seen Meredith Kasarian, the only mother she’d ever known.
Josh’s mother had only been persuaded to take early retirement when the consultant who had tried to save Pam Dixon’s life all those years ago had finally convinced her to marry him.
Meredith had always been the sort to put on a cheerful face…but it had been a real eye-opener to see the soft expression in her eyes as she’d gazed at her new husband and to see her blushing like a girl when he’d claimed her with a kiss at the end of the wedding ceremony.
‘That’s what I want, too,’ Dani whispered wistfully, far from certain that she would ever achieve it. After all, there was a huge obstacle in her way by the name of Joshua Weatherby.
She cringed when she remembered her first attempt at telling him about her dream, and mourned the death of the closeness they’d shared for the first eighteen years of her life. From that day on, he had erected an impenetrable barrier between the two of them, preventing her from sharing anything but the most superficial of social conversations.
‘Well, I’ve got six months to change his mind,’ she declared aloud, needing to hear the words bounce back at her from the bland walls of her tiny staff flat to bolster her determination.
Even so, she couldn’t help wondering just how different the last few years would have been if she hadn’t drunk that glass of birthday champagne to bolster her courage before she’d spoken to him.
CHAPTER TWO
‘AND what are you doing in here, young man?’ said a voice over Josh’s shoulder. After an initial start of surprise, he relaxed and smiled, knowing that the apparently gruff words would be accompanied by a twinkle in the consultant’s dark eyes.
‘I’m visiting my sister while I wait for Mum to finish work,’ he explained, then held up his hands. ‘I scrubbed and used the hand gel and haven’t touched anything I shouldn’t.’
‘Good. Good,’ Mr Kasarian said seriously. ‘And how is our patient doing today?’
‘Much better,’ Josh said with a beaming smile. ‘When she was first born I didn’t know if she would stay alive…well, she was just so tiny, like a little bird that fell out of its nest before it grew any feathers.’
The
consultant chuckled. ‘That’s exactly what they look like when they’re that small,’ he agreed.
‘And then she kept forgetting to breathe, and Sally showed me how to flick her under her foot to remind her, but she hasn’t needed to be reminded for a whole day…And she’s put on some weight, too!’ Josh couldn’t believe how much better he’d felt when he’d seen that little rise on the weight graph. It was as if that tiny gain had given him permission to believe that they weren’t going to lose Pammy’s baby, too.
‘There’s something else that we’ve noticed,’ Mr Kasarian said, drawing him out of his thoughts. ‘Look up at the monitor screen next time you come to visit your sister and see what happens when you start to talk to her. Sally was watching the other day and saw a change in her pulse and respirations…her breathing.’
‘And that’s a bad thing?’ Josh felt as if he’d been kicked in the stomach. The last thing he wanted was for his visits to make the baby sick. He knew from what his mum told him that the unit was always busy and there was never enough time to spend with her little patients. All he’d wanted to do was let the baby know that he was her big brother and he was there for her, but if coming to see her was causing her harm…
‘Not at all!’ Mr Kasarian exclaimed heartily. ‘It’s good. Very good. It seems as if she already recognises your voice, and her heart and her breathing are stronger when you’re with her.’
It almost felt as if his own heart was swelling in his chest and for a horrible moment he thought he was going to cry.
‘Really?’ he croaked with a mixture of pleasure and disbelief, for once not caring that his voice still sounded like a childish squeak. ‘She knows when I’m here?’
‘Check it for yourself when you come next time,’ Mr Kasarian said with a smile. ‘Watch the readouts on the monitors when you start speaking to her and you’ll see what we mean.’
A wife for the baby doctor Page 2
