The Demon Beside Me

by Nelson, Christopher

  “Well, we actually tend to hold trials before declaring people to be traitors,” I said. “I’ve been on the receiving end of a trial like that. We don’t torture our people just because we disagree with them, and we certainly don’t eat each other. I know this is like speaking a foreign language to you two. Still with me so far?”

  “Don’t push it, demon.”

  I let go of the bars and took a careful step back. “Just think of it this way. If you guys ever disagree with one of your superiors, maybe you’ll end up getting your arm broken by Barty. I don’t think you’d be considering it such an honor at that point, though you might surprise me. I’ve always thought there’s a strong streak of submissive masochism in the Choir. It’s probably bred into your bloodlines by now.”

  The two angels exchanged glances, then stared at me. “No wonder you demons are losing the war so badly,” Guard B said. “You have no concept of a chain of command and the importance of following orders.”

  I rolled my eyes. “And you angels simply follow orders, no matter how wrong they are. That’s never been a defense.”

  “Look, demon, no matter what we do to you, it’s simply pre-emptive self-defense, because we know that in the end you’d do worse to us if we gave you the chance.” Guard A delivered that line with a level of sincerity I had only seen from television evangelists.

  I stepped back up to the bars and cleared my throat. “Hold on. Wait just a minute. You say that all of this is justified just because you think we might do worse to you?”

  “The Seraphim have always warned us about the treachery and deviousness of demons,” Guard A replied, Guard B nodding as if it was a catechism they had memorized in their distant youth. “You demons want to wipe us out so that you can enslave the humans. Aren’t you glad we’re looking out for you, human girl?”

  “You angels are some fucked up creatures.” Her hands grabbed the bars next to me. I hadn’t even heard her stand up. “We don’t want you trying to defend or guide us. We can take care of ourselves as long as you assholes don’t interfere. You know what? After seeing what you’re willing to do to the demons, I don’t want you anywhere near humanity. You’re evil, just as bad as what you make the demons out to be, but at least they have individual personalities and can decide for themselves what’s right and what’s wrong.”

  “Corrupted,” Guard B said.

  “Thoroughly,” Guard A agreed.

  “Anything that disagrees with your carefully constructed worldview is corrupted, isn’t it?” Tink snorted and stuck her hand out between the bars, snapped her fingers, and gave them a one-fingered salute. “You’re pathetic, you goddamned mindless robots. Caleb has more guts than the rest of your race combined. Has it ever crossed your tiny little minds that he might be right? Can you think at all for yourself, or do you just parrot everything your superiors tell you to?”

  “Should we hurt her?” Guard A asked, glancing over at his partner.

  “A little, I think,” Guard B replied.

  I pushed Tink back. “So that’s how you protect humans, right? Beat the ones you think are corrupted? I bet you’ll feel real proud of yourselves, hitting a tiny little girl with a broken arm who hasn’t had anything to eat or drink in days.”

  “It’s just to impart a lesson.”

  “You’re shameless,” I said.

  “Why would we feel any shame in doing that?” Guard B looked honestly confused. “She’s corrupted. Maybe she’ll repent afterwards.”

  “Who says she’s corrupted?”

  “It’s pretty obvious.”

  I pointed a finger at them. “You decided. You thought it up, without supervisory approval, as far as I can tell. Isn’t that exactly the sort of independent thinking that brought Caleb to the edge of treason?” The two angels, who had started to crowd the cell bars, suddenly froze in place. Tink muffled a laugh. I decided to try to defuse the situation. “Look, you two are just doing your job, but I’m pretty sure whoever’s in charge here wants us alive for a while longer. She’s a human, she’s injured, tired, and starving. If you hurt her much at all you might kill her, and then what’s going to happen to you?”

  “Our superiors also told us you’d lie to us all the time,” Guard B said.

  “Don’t give me that,” I said. “You’ll say I’m lying whenever it supports what you want to think. Just look at her and think about it for yourself.”

  “I think we should hurt her a little,” Guard A said.

  I sighed. “Fine. You come on in here and hurt her. I’ll get in your way. You can draw a little blood, feel good about yourselves, right? Let’s make it fun. I’ll draw some of your blood, too. I wonder what might happen then.”

  “Are you making a threat?”

  “Why yes, I suppose I am.” I crossed my arms and stood far enough back from the cell bars that they couldn’t just reach through and strangle me. “If you come in here and try to hurt her, I will do everything in my power to make sure this entire building comes down around us. Hope you guys don’t have any family. I bet the Seraphim will punish them if they can’t find your bodies.”

  Once again, the angels paused. They looked at each other, looked away, and took measured steps backwards. “As much as it pains me to admit it, the demon raises a valid point,” Guard A said.

  “We’ll have to double check the latitude of our orders later,” Guard B said. “No hurry. They’ll be here for a little while longer.”

  The two of them headed back to their post, Tink slid back down to her resting position, and I sat down next to her. She was breathing deeply, her hair was lank, and her skin was pasty. “You look terrible,” I said.

  “Thanks.”

  “I bet you feel worse.”

  “I do. Thanks for reminding me.”

  “So, any bright ideas on how to get out of here?”

  She lifted her head just enough to glare at me. “I thought that was your job.”

  I shrugged and leaned against the wall, which was surprisingly comfortable. “I’m on vacation. The accommodations are nothing to speak of, though.”

  “Can’t help you there.”

  “I could always use your lap as a pillow.”

  “Demon, if I had any energy left, I’d straight up kill you.” She sighed and dropped her head back down. “Whenever I’m in this sort of situation, you and Caleb are supposed to come rescue me. When all three of us are in this sort of situation, who’s going to come rescue us? No mages out there would risk it, your people are in no condition to do it, who else is there?”

  “Becky?” I suggested.

  “Oh yes, she’ll bring the construction mafia to find us. She’ll come bursting through the wall screaming ‘Oh yeah!’”

  “That’s a wonderful mental image,” I said. “But otherwise, I’m out of suggestions.”

  “What good are you?”

  “Not much at this point.” I slid down the wall to lie on my back. “Sometimes you lose, Tink. At least once they kill us, they’ll have signed their own death warrants. The Horsemen will take over running the joint. I doubt they’ll play nice with anyone, but we won’t be around to see it.”

  “You know what scares me,” Tink said. “They’re keeping us alive just long enough for the last Horseman to show up, then they’ll kill us and force Caleb to genocide your entire race.”

  “Seems like duplicated effort when they’re making so much headway on it already.”

  “Well, they have to have something in mind, otherwise they would have just killed us. Maybe they plan on killing off all non-angels and inherit the earth that way.”

  “Creepy plan,” I said.

  “Dammit, demon, come up with something already!”

  “I’m thinking, but we’re kind of constrained here,” I said. “All I can think of is that Victor’s got something in mind. Remember what his sense of justice is like? He’s probably going to torture Caleb to the point of madness before killing us in front of the poor guy. He wants to break him down, utterly and
completely.”

  “You’ve got a horrible imagination.”

  “Maybe, but you know I’m right.”

  “I’m surprised he’s held out this long,” she said. “Can’t imagine what he’s going through. I don’t know if I could do it.”

  I tapped my fingers on the floor. “We were just a couple of days away from the final Horseman showing up when we were captured, right?”

  “I think so.”

  “Maybe that’s why he’s trying to hold out.”

  Her head came up again. “What do you mean?”

  “If he holds out long enough, Death will appear,” I said. “And remember what the requirements are? All three Gatekeepers have to be together. Something will happen that brings us all together.”

  “Or kill us.”

  “I don’t think that’s going to happen,” I said. “The Horsemen are bound by something, they can’t just kill us out of hand. I bet they have something in that contract that states they have to keep us alive as best they can.”

  “You would think so, but we don’t.” The voice was completely unexpected and I sat bolt upright. My head spun for a second, and that was before looking at the speaker. He stood at the bars, facing out toward our guards, who didn’t seem to notice his presence at all. “Our contract does prevent us from killing you, but there is nothing that says we cannot simply let you die.”

  “Is that what you want?” I asked.

  The figure’s shoulders shook. “What I want? Why would you be concerned about what I want, Gatekeeper?”

  “Well, if you want to have dominion, then all you need to do is let us die, right?”

  “It would be a simple solution, yes,” he said. “But what do you want, Gatekeeper? What is your desire?”

  I looked over to where Tink sat, her eyes barely open. I couldn’t tell if she was following this conversation or not. “Right now, I want to get her out of here more than anything else. I don’t think she’ll hold up more than another day or so.”

  “Less than a day,” the figure whispered. “She despairs, Gatekeeper. Her body is weak, and her spirit despairs.”

  “I’m pretty close to despair myself,” I said.

  “I know.”

  “What do you suggest, then?” I asked. “I can’t do anything for her. I can’t do anything for myself, either. No one knows where we are. Even if they did, no one could get here in time to save us. You’re the only one I can ask for help.”

  His head turned slightly. “You would ask me for help?”

  “Yes.”

  “Even knowing who I am?”

  “I know who you are.”

  “Do you?” He turned around and I flinched. His face was bone white, almost fleshless. His eyes were dark and sunken deeply into their sockets. No hair marred the pale curve of his skull. “Do you truly?”

  I beckoned to him. “Each of your brethren did this to me. Come on, then.”

  It seemed to me that he smiled, and then-

  The long fall into the eternal darkness-

  A formless haze that had no words, no presence, no ending-

  The instant of disconnection, the soul departs-

  Tears of family and friends, surrounding his bedside-

  Agony as he succumbs to the end, alone and unloved-

  Fear and hope as the final journey beckons-

  “I am Death, the fourth Horseman,” he whispered. He was crouched right in front of me, his face a bare skull, silver tears dripping from his empty eye sockets. “And you are Isaiah Bright, the Gatekeeper, the one who can free us.”

  “Free you?” I felt something trickling down my own cheeks and wiped at my face. “What do you mean?”

  “You know what we are,” he said. “Four beings, souls if you will, torn apart and forced together by power neither of us can possibly comprehend. Even your Project Purgatory only touches the surface of what was done to us. It was a curse, Gatekeeper, a curse and a punishment.”

  I couldn’t look him in the eye anymore. “I can’t imagine.”

  “Let me tell you what happened on that day.” Death leaned toward me until I scooted back, ramming my back into the wall. “I led them to the Throne, three demons who I knew, had known, who I know. Their names are Famis, Comitatus, and Victus. What they were, I can’t remember. We slew the guards there. I felt nothing as they bled. They were angels, but they weren’t like me. They thought they were right. They knew it, with every piece of their souls. I knew we are all wrong.”

  “You’re mixing up your tenses,” I said.

  His thin lips bent in what might have been a smile. “Am I? I opened the Gates to expose the Throne of Heaven. He sat atop his golden throne, waiting for me, for us. As we stepped through, he greeted each of us by name, and each of us fell to our knees, even the demons. I felt Him move, I felt His hand rest upon my head, and I heard Him speak to me.”

  “His curse?”

  “His apology,” Death said. “His thanks.”

  “Wait-“

  “He died at my hand! Even though I did not will it, my hand moved! I drew my sword and I put it through Him, and the demons rent Him apart with their claws, and I saw their eyes! I knew their thoughts! I knew they knew we were all wrong! We are all wrong!” He leaned forward again, until his forehead nearly touched mine. “We were transformed into cursed tools, not by a curse voiced by God, but because of the apology I was given. I forced God into sin, as the angels would consider it.”

  My skin crawled. I wanted to call him crazy. The words stuck in my throat.

  He leaned back, a shadow seeming to cross over his face. “The Horsemen should not exist, but we must exist for this purpose. Do you understand?”

  “I can’t understand,” I said. “But I’m trying to.”

  “It does not matter if you fully understand,” he said. “But this is something that you must understand. If you wish to save her, I will help you, but for a price.”

  I swallowed hard. “What is your price?”

  “Death,” he said softly. “You must free us.”

  “How?” I asked.

  “When the Gates of Heaven and Hell are opened, our contract will be fulfilled, and we will be allowed to pass from this world to the next.”

  “Is there actually another world beyond this?” The question slipped from my lips, before I could think better of it.

  For a moment, I thought I had taken Death aback, but then he smiled. For that single moment, I saw him as he must have looked before, an angel with brilliant silver eyes and hair. “There must be. I believe there must be. I still have my own apology to make.”

  I breathed in, then forced myself to smile. “So, you’re telling me that by doing exactly what I already wanted to do, you’ll help me?”

  “It won’t be exactly what you want to do.” The moment was gone and his empty sockets wept silver again. “You must not relent, Gatekeeper. You must not show mercy. No matter how your heart breaks, you must hold firm, and you will lose everything before you regain it. Otherwise, you will lose everything and nothing you do will ever bring it back to you.”

  “What do you mean by that?” I asked. My hands tightened into fists. “Don’t give me this sort of transcendental shit. Let me know what will happen. Let me make an informed decision for once!”

  “I can’t,” he said. “But I am sorry, for what that’s worth.”

  “I’m not this important,” I said. “Am I?”

  “You are the Gatekeeper.”

  I bowed my head. “So if I do things your way, my life will suck before it gets better. If I don’t, my life will suck until it’s over. Is that about right?”

  “In summary, yes.”

  I forced my hands open and pushed myself to my feet. Death rose before me, his face still and cold. I offered my hand. “Then consider my heart to be made of granite.”

  He took my hand. My fingers tingled as if they had fallen asleep as we shook, then let go. “So let it be done. How would you like to proceed?”

&
nbsp; “We need to be with Caleb. How about you escort us to where he is?”

  Death nodded and turned toward the bars, then stretched his hand out. Just as the angels did, a sword snapped into his hand, but unlike their weapons, his was the negation of a weapon. The blade was formless black, almost a sword-shaped outline, and it was easier to track the motion of the blade from where it wasn’t than from where it was. He cut high, and the bars fell outward with a crash. Guards A and B jumped up with a shout, then froze in place. I assumed that the Horseman had abruptly become visible.

  “We’re going to visit Caleb,” I said as I reached down to pick Tink up. She mumbled something about stabbing me as I settled her in my arms. “I would recommend not getting in our way.”

  “Our orders are to prevent any escape attempts,” Guard A said, drawing his sword.

  “I wouldn’t call this an attempt,” I pointed out. “It’s more of a done deal.”

  “That remains to be seen,” said Guard B.

  The fight was over before his sword was even in his hand. Both of their heads were suddenly missing. They hadn’t been decapitated; they were just missing everything from the neck up. Both bodies sagged to the ground, their swords clattering as they struck. “Impressive swordsmanship,” I said.

  “Perhaps I should limit myself,” Death said. “It has been a long time since I’ve had any challenge.”

  “I’d rather you didn’t,” I said, stepping out of the cell and standing next to him. “I would like to get this over with as quickly as possible.”

  We walked out of the cell block into a veritable storm of angels. At least a dozen of them faced us, their weapons already out and pointed in our direction. “Stop there, hellspawn,” snapped their leader. “Disarm and surrender.”

  I looked down. Tink curled against me, eyes closed. “I don’t think she’s considered a weapon, but if you have any water, she could really use it.”

  “You’ll get no favors from us, demon. Stand down.”