A CRY FROM THE DEEP

by Unknown

  Right after that, she took some photos of Daniel. The first two showed him gliding alongside the sunken ship. The ones afterward were of him hamming it up for the camera. She laughed at the faces he made. That was something Richard couldn’t do. He couldn’t act goofy. If he’d been more like Daniel, maybe they would’ve still been together. But Richard had always been stuffy and serious. But then again, there’d been the whole 9/11 fallout.

  When Daniel signaled for her to go up, she was surprised to find they’d been underwater for close to an hour.

  ~~~

  On the boat ride back to shore, Catherine offered to pay for lunch and a beer. “It’s the least I can do.”

  “You don’t have to get me lunch. Taking you out was self-serving. I was having nightmares of going into the deep with you clutching my ankles all the way.”

  “Are you kidding? I wouldn’t have clutched your ankles, I would’ve gripped your neck.”

  “Exactly.” He grinned. “That’s what I was afraid of.” He regarded her for a moment. “I’d love to have lunch, but I’ve got to be somewhere else. You don’t mind taking a cab back, do you?”

  She did mind, but what could she say? Swallowing the lump in her throat, she wondered if the somewhere else was with his fiancée.

  ~~~

  The cab ride gave her a chance to unwind. The day had turned out better than she’d expected. Still, she couldn’t let go of the feeling that she and Daniel had crossed paths before. He was too familiar—his laugh, the dimples in his cheeks, the way he walked. And when he took off his scuba mask and looked at her, it was as if he too was trying to remember where they might’ve met. She decided her familiarity with Daniel had to be one of those déjà vu experiences she’d had on other occasions. Or maybe she’d seen him in some news broadcast or diving article.

  Her thoughts turned to her visit with Lindsey. When her friend had suggested a psychic, Catherine had pooh-poohed the idea. She’d always thought Richard was closed-minded, but wasn’t she being that way herself?

  The last time she’d considered anything psychic was when she was in high school. She’d discovered the writings of Edgar Cayce and had become fascinated with the whole notion of reincarnation. She’d also read other accounts of men and women who’d undergone hypnosis and ended up speaking in strange languages or recalling events that had some basis in history. The writing was so powerful that it was easy to believe that the stories of Bridey Murphy and other past lives were true. The idea that she might have lived before had intrigued her. Of course, she was very young at the time and gullible.

  Her further study of reincarnation stopped when she met Richard. He didn’t believe in past or future lives. Being a pragmatist, he only believed in what was in front of him. He’d been so convincing, she’d allowed him to influence her thinking. Just like she’d allowed the Church. But what if there was such a thing as rebirth, or some sort of spiritual reawakening, or ghosts? Maybe some people could experience unearthly events, if they were open to them. When Catherine stepped out of the cab, she made a mental note to follow up on Lindsey’s suggestion. How could it hurt?

  FIFTEEN

  Calling a psychic would have to wait. The next day, as promised, Catherine took Alex shopping. First to a thrift shop for a costume for her year-end class play, and then to Macy’s, where thanks to Richard’s generosity, Catherine bought Alex some Mary Jane shoes, three t-shirts, a red-rhinestone trimmed sweater with a denim flared skirt and two pairs of shorts. All for her visit to grandma’s. Sybil was particular about how people dressed.

  Used to t-shirts and jeans on the farm, Alex was so excited about her new purchases that she bounced all the way to the fourth floor for a slice of pizza and a pop.

  They were half-way through their meal when a family—a mother, father, and two kids—sat down nearby. After watching them a few moments, Alex said, “Mama, why did you and Papa break up? Papa’s so handsome and nice.”

  “Oh, sweetie.” Catherine had been dreading this topic. How was she going to explain a complicated marriage to a seven year old? She took a deep breath and said, “It was a lot of things. We tried really hard, but sad to say, we stopped loving each other.”

  Alex frowned and looked at the family again. “I thought once you fell in love, you stayed falling in love.”

  “Usually that’s the case. You meet someone who’s the man of your dreams, you fall in love, and you hope your love will mature and grow like flowers in the garden.”

  Alex considered that for a moment. “So, was Papa like a weed?”

  “No, silly,” said Catherine with a sad smile.

  “Did you love Papa more or did he love you more?”

  Catherine hesitated before answering. “That’s a good question. I don’t know.”

  Alex took a nibble out of her pizza. “I think he loved you more.”

  “Huh.” Was that true? Had she been the hold-out? She tightened her lips, then said, “Finish eating, so we can get some of that delicious frozen yogurt, okay?”

  By the time they left the restaurant, it was twilight time. They walked hand in hand to Richard’s apartment building. Central Park West was one magnificent avenue with buildings that reminded her of Paris. There was truly no other city like it, a city easy to return to, if she had a reason to return.

  ~~~

  Catherine was hanging up her jacket on the hallway clothes stand when her cell phone rang. It was Frank. He sounded tired. “Can you be ready to leave a week earlier?”

  Her stomach sank at the thought. She didn’t feel ready, but then would she ever be?

  “Catherine, are you there?”

  “Sorry, Frank, just thinking. Why the change?”

  “A couple of the divers Hennesey’s using are available sooner than he thought. He wants to take advantage of the weather.”

  Catherine pulled her journal out of her bag. “When exactly?”

  “June 1st.”

  It looked clear, but she’d have to work it out with Richard. Alex wouldn’t be happy with the new date. “I can’t believe it’s happening this fast.”

  “Actually, it’s better this way. If there are any weather delays, we don’t want this dragging into fall. The sea can get pretty nasty then.”

  “You said it would only take a few weeks.”

  “That’s all it should take.” Frank coughed. “But you know these things. The best-laid plans…”

  “You can say what you want, but three weeks is tops for me.”

  When she groaned, he said, “One day at a time. That’s all you have to do.”

  He knew her. He knew once she got started, she wouldn’t stop, but she didn’t want to think about that prospect now. It wasn’t great timing, but at least she had the consolation of knowing Alex would be well taken care of and school was winding down. Fortunately, Alex was already set up to spend the last two weeks of June and the first week of July with Richard’s mother in the country. Plus, there was a stable nearby. Catherine could enroll Alex in some riding classes. With Richard’s help, Sybil could manage. At least Catherine hoped she could.

  Thinking of Sybil made Catherine uneasy. She remembered the first time she’d met Sybil. It was at an opening night of Chekhov’s Platonov at Circle in the Square theatre in Manhattan. Sybil—refreshed after another facelift—had flounced into the lobby dressed in a form-fitting black sheath, high heels, and a full length mink coat draped around her shoulders. Richard rushed over, with Catherine in tow, to meet her. After air kisses from her son on each cheek, Sybil took a long look at Catherine. She smiled, but there was an iciness that Catherine hadn’t expected.

  She later learned from Richard that Sybil hadn’t been impressed with Catherine’s family credentials, nor the simple sweater and skirt she was wearing. Middle class didn’t cut it.

  “Mother is a bit of a snob,” Richard had said. Catherine thought at the time, not only a snob, but a rude one as well. Hopefully, Alex wouldn’t be influenced too much by her grandmother’s way of looking
at the world.

  ~~~

  Luckily, Catherine was able to attend Alex’s class play before she left for Ireland. Dressed in a brown fur hat with matching tights and a t-shirt, her daughter played a mischievous squirrel with flair. She kept hunching over every so often, like squirrels do when they’re looking for nuts. She was so funny, Catherine almost laughed out loud. Richard also had to suppress a chuckle.

  Alex kept turning to see if both parents were watching. Catherine was reminded again of how she’d taken her daughter away. She had to admit it was nice sharing this event with Richard.

  After the school play, the days flew. Catherine saw little of Richard. Either she was busy getting ready to go, or he was guest lecturing at a university, or seeing patients in his practice. They barely exchanged words when they passed one another in the hallway or waved as they went out the door.

  As for Daniel, Catherine did talk to him once on the phone. This was after he’d sent her the link to a 3D computerized model of Hennesey’s proposed diving site, produced by the oceanographer from his office. They both marveled at how much the industry had changed since their early days in the field. Technological innovations made it possible to pinpoint dive sites that would’ve taken countless hours in the past.

  She also sent him the photos she’d taken of him underwater. He wrote back saying she hadn’t lost her touch, and that she couldn’t have found a better subject. She laughed at that, and then stared at his photo—a close-up of his face with his mask on. Even through his mask, she could see his captivating eyes and sexy dimples. Desire fuelled her imagination, and unsurprisingly, she felt its sensation between her thighs. Though a delicious feeling, she attributed it to the fact she’d been without sex too long. She swallowed and reminded herself she had a good life in Provence and a beautiful child. The last thing she needed was to fall in love with a man about to be married.

  ~~~

  Richard couldn’t have been sweeter the morning of her departure. He got up early and made her banana and walnut pancakes, another favorite.

  Alex was a darling, too, giving Catherine a big bear hug as soon as she stepped into the kitchen. “Look what we got you, Mama!” Alex pointed to a vase with peach roses on the table.

  “Oh, Alex, they’re so beautiful. You know how much I love roses.” She turned to Richard and gave him a querulous look.

  “It was all her idea,” said Richard, serving the pancakes.

  “All mine,” said Alex proudly, as she sat on Catherine’s lap, her long legs reaching the floor. She put her arms around her mother’s neck. “I’m going to miss you.”

  “I’m going to miss you too, pumpkin,” said Catherine, her eyes welling with tears.

  “Why do you always have to cry?”

  “You know me, I can be pretty mushy.”

  “You can,” said Alex, sliding off her mom’s lap and sitting down across from her. She bathed her pancakes in syrup. “Oops.”

  Sighing, Catherine said, “You’re a monkey, you know that.”

  Alex giggled. “I know.” She took a bite of pancake. “Mama, how come you’re not wearing your ring? The lady said it was a good luck ring.”

  “She did, didn’t she?” said Catherine, rising to re-fill her coffee cup. “Don’t worry, I packed it in my jewelry pouch.” She hadn’t planned on taking it, but then she remembered what Lindsey had said about everything happening for a reason. Maybe it was no accident she’d stumbled upon the ring and agreed to go to Ireland.

  Scrunching up her face, Alex said, “That was funny when the lady said the man found it in a fish. How did it get in the fish?”

  “That’s a good question,” said Richard. “Maybe somebody took it off to look at it and dropped it accidentally overboard. And then later, the fish found it.”

  “That’s awful for the person who lost it,” said Alex.

  Richard nodded. “You’re right. It happened to a cousin of mine. She was out on the lake fishing and took off her ring because it was bothering her. She went to put it away, but I guess she wasn’t holding it tightly and over it went.”

  “But why did the fish eat it?” asked Alex. “It’s not food.”

  Catherine said, cutting a pancake. “Sometimes shiny things in the water look like sardines or other tasty fish.”

  “Ooh” said Alex, wrinkling her nose. “The ring must’ve hurt his tummy.”

  Catherine and Richard both grinned. You’d never know by looking at the three of them, they were a broken family. It made Catherine wonder about fate, choice, and everything in between.

  When she said good-bye to Richard and Alex at the airport, she and Alex got weepy, which was to be expected. But the surprise was when Richard hugged her good-bye and said, “I’m going to miss you.”

  There was sincerity in his eyes. She didn’t remember him being that sensitive when they were together. Had it always been there and she missed it? She regarded him after he let her go. She held his hand, as she said, “You’ve been great, you know that? Tell me again why I left you.”

  He wore a sad smile. “I have no idea.”

  SIXTEEN

  The flight to Dublin had more than the usual turbulence, which always made her queasy. When the bumps started, flashes of an imminent disaster crossed her mind. Suddenly hot, Catherine unzippered her sweatshirt and took it off. She glanced around the cabin. Other passengers were either asleep or glued to their TV monitors in front of them. Despite the bumpy ride, the stewardesses were still handing out bottles of water. Reassured by that, Catherine reclined her seat and tried to get her mind off of flying.

  Her thoughts turned to the Chinese meal she’d eaten at the airport before departure. The meal had been fine but the fortune in her cookie had said, your luck will change. Since she’d always considered herself a lucky person, she thought this was a bad omen. She was usually skeptical of such things, not putting much weight into fortunes or horoscopes, but since she’d been having bizarre dreams, she didn’t know what to believe anymore. Even Barbara had said, the experiences people had sometimes defied logic, or something to that effect.

  The plane was still wobbling. It was at times like this she wished she was with someone who could put her mind at ease. Daniel was that kind of person, but he wasn’t due to fly out until a day later.

  Catherine tucked the blanket around her legs and took out the in-flight magazine. She flipped through the pages but nothing seemed to grab her. Leaving Alex behind had roused emotions she hadn’t anticipated when she’d first accepted the assignment. She tried to reason that many women had careers that took them all over the world and their children somehow managed. She was only going for a few weeks, the most, a month. It wasn’t like she was taking a position in another country indefinitely.

  So why was she stewing about it so much? Maybe it came with the territory, being one of those women who tried to do it all. She hadn’t had to consider the notion while she worked the farm in Provence. That kind of work meant she was at home and available for Alex 24/7.

  As she thought about it more, she decided it was about time Richard took a turn with Alex. Sure, he’d had her before, but a nanny had always been along. But with the extra time they’d have together, would Alex end up thinking her father was the injured party, especially if she learned he never wanted the marriage to end in the first place? Would she blame her mother for tearing up her life?

  Richard had definitely changed. He was never that attentive in the past. Was he serious when he said he didn’t know why she’d left? Surely, he knew. Perhaps, time had dimmed his memory. Well, one thing that time hadn’t dimmed were his looks. He was still the handsome man she’d fallen in love with.

  She tried to stop brooding by watching a romantic film. It was okay, but the male lead reminded her of Daniel. In his last email, he’d complained about having to go to another charity event. Since he hated that scene so much, she wondered how he was going to put up with it after he got married. She fell asleep thinking of him and the photos she’d taken
on their last dive together. She dreamt he took his mask off underwater, and then hers, before kissing her on the lips. It seemed they kissed for a long time, unaware they had to breathe. Their bubbles floated to the top seemingly forever. When she awoke, breakfast was being served. Not long after that, she landed in Ireland.

  ~~~

  Another short flight took her from Dublin to Sligo. As the pilot approached the airport, she looked down at miles of sand dunes bordered by sea. Soon, she’d be deep in that blue, part of a team searching for an ancient treasure with stories of its own to tell. Would they be lucky? She thought of the fortune cookie again. Countless salvage boats went out every day in search of glory only to come back empty-handed.

  She reached into her shoulder bag and pulled out her jewelry pouch. There wasn’t much in there—stud earrings, a thin silver bracelet she’d picked up in Egypt, a beaded necklace that Alex had made from a kit, and the antique Claddagh ring.

  She put on the ring and smiled. Alex wanted her to wear it for good luck. As she turned it around her finger, admiring its design, she thought of how it had ended up in a fish’s mouth. Her ex had his own theory, that some woman had accidentally dropped it over board. Or had she thrown it away in anger? But maybe the antique seller had lied, and it had never been in the sea. It was too bad that beautiful objects, like this one, didn’t come with the story of their journey embedded for all to know. Well, whatever the tale, the ring was beautiful on its own. Its heart and crown glistened in the sun streaming through the plane window. Staring at it, she had the sense the story of this ring was chasing her, but the question of why remained.