The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress

by Stein, Gertrude

  Many women have a feeling of themselves inside them from servants around them. There are many ways of having such a feeling in them. This is a long history of one of them.

  Many servants get to have in them something that is almost a craziness in them, many have a very lonesome feeling in them not a lonesome feeling of themselves inside them just a lonesome feeling that makes queer, sometimes a little crazy women of them. This is in many of them. The Irishwoman and one of the Italian women had this a little in them. This makes them good fun for children living in the house with them. The children tease them, they are good to children around them, they always have to be sent away all of a sudden. The Irishwoman and one of the Italians was of this kind of women. The other servants were always steady women, each with their own way of being in them and this is now a history of all of them. This is a history of them and the seamstresses and the governesses and any troubles any one of them had with the others living in the house with them. This is a history of all of them and of the kind of important feeling Mrs. Hersland had in her from all of them and of the feelings the children each one had for each one of them and the relation each one had to Mr. Hersland.

  Mrs. Hersland then was of the kind of women who have resisting in them only with a feeling of themselves inside them, Mrs. Hersland was of the kind of women who have dependent independence in them, Mrs. Hersland was of the kind of women, though she had this to be in her so timidly inside her so gently within her that mostly nobody ever knew it to themselves about her, she had it in her to be of the kind of women to own those they need for loving, to subdue any one who needs them to be important to them. She was then of them who have it in them not to have weakness as the last bottom of them, not to have it in them that the last end of a bad thing cannot come to them, she could have an ending, she could feel this in her dying, she could feel it in her weakening, she could feel it in her children when they were big and struggling and she a gentle little woman was lost among them, she never had in her an important feeling from her children, she had it in the living in Gossols in that part where no other rich people were living.

  There are then two kinds of women, there are those who have in them resisting and attacking, and a bottom weakness in them, women with independent dependence in them, women who are strong in attacking, women who sometimes have not bottom weakness in them, some who have in them bottom weakness in them and this inside is a strength in them when they have children when they have strong loving in them when it is in them in such of them a fine sensitive weakness inside them, there are then such ones of them women who need others around to love them before they have any power in them from the weakness in them, in such of them attacking is a power in them but not when they meet with real resisting, the bottom weakness in them is only a power in them when those around them love them, so only can these have any power in them; all these then all these women have not it in them mostly to believe that it never can come to them the last end of a bad thing to destroy them. All these then make one kind of the two kinds there are of women, the two kinds too there are then of men, and there are many kinds of such of them many strengths in them of this strength and weakness in them, many mixtures in them of the independence and dependence in them, many mixings and sometimes a mixing in the top of them with the other kind of nature of some men and women the dependent independent kind in men and women but more or less it is in them in all of this one kind of them it is in them to have independent dependence in them, it is in them to have attacking in them, to have aggressive optimism in them, to not believe the last end of a bad thing can come to them and destroy them, and then to have weakness as the bottom of them; and in many of them this weakness is all there is to them, in some of them attacking is all there is of them.

  The other kind of women and there are many kinds of such of them in the many millions always of women, this other kind of them need to own the people around them when this nature is strong in them; they have many of them, a dependent patient way of living, but with the dependent nature in them they have never such of them, a feeling of themselves inside them, this comes out in them only with the bottom independence in them, when they feel themselves resisting, when it comes to them to own themselves inside them, when they own some one around them, some of such of them never have such a moment in their living, some of such of them never feel themselves inside them; there are then always many women living, there are then these two kinds of them, this is now a history of some of each kind of them, sometime there will be a history of all of each kind of them and that will then be a history of all women who are living, of all the many millions who ever were or will be living and then there will begin a history of all the men and the two kinds of them for there are in men the same two kinds of them like with women and it works out differently a little in them for they are men and have themselves mostly more inside them in their living, there are then these two kinds in women and in men and always every one is of one kind or the other kind of them.

  In their middle living in that part of Gossols where no other rich people were living the Hersland family had with them only women in the house with them. As I was saying servants often have it in them to be a little queer and children like to tease them, they have this queerness from cooking, from cleaning and from their lonesome living, from their sitting in the kitchen, from having a mistress to direct them, and children to tease them; the Irishwoman and one of the Italian women that were cooking once for the Hersland family in their middle living had this queerness in them.

  They had had then mostly in their living German women as servants in the house with them, sometimes they could not get them, once they had an Irishwoman, twice Italian women, once a Mexican. The Irish woman and one of the Italian women had a little queerness in them, the queerness that comes from being a servant and cooking and sitting alone in a kitchen and having a mistress to direct them and sometimes children to tease them, these had to be sent away all of a sudden.

  Mostly the German women were very steady women, they did not have anything of such a queerness in them, sometimes the German girls they had with them were very young women and then Mrs. Hersland had to train them, some of such of them had natures in them that in their later living would come, from much kitchen sitting, from much directing of the mistress of the house to them, from much teasing from the children in the house with them, would come to make of them a queerness inside them that would make it come to them in their later living to be always sent away all of a sudden. In the early living of such ones they would not be sent away all of a sudden but the mistress of such ones would not then be sorry to lose them.

  There were then as I was saying, when Mrs. Hersland could get them foreign servants in the house with them, there was always a governess in the house with them, there was often a seamstress staying in the house with them. There was always a man working in the garden but he never lived in the house with them.

  As I was saying in most of their living they had German servants, but sometimes they could not get them, once they had an Irish woman cooking for them, twice Italian women and once a Mexican.

  The German servants who lived with them mostly stayed a long time with them even those of them that were not altogether satisfying because until Mrs. Hersland had an angry feeling about some one she would never dismiss any one and angry feeling did not come to be in her very often. So mostly the servants stayed a long time with them, not those of them that had servant queerness in them, Mrs. Hersland never liked such a one, she wanted her servants so that she was of them and above them, she did not want them to have the kind of queerness in them that made strange beings of them, that always in a way made her afraid of them, servants were to Mrs. Hersland part of every day living, she never wanted them to have servant queerness in them, she was more then of them though always she was above them and she could come to have with such of them rightly an angry feeling.

  Sometimes she would have young foreign girls or foreign American ones and she would tra
in them, some of such of them would in their later living have servant queerness in them, mostly Mrs. Hersland did not keep such ones a long time, mostly she liked to have older women she felt herself more of them than with the young ones who needed to have her train them. She liked it better to have women who only needed directing and once in a while she would tell such a one how to cook something and with such of them she could feel of them and above them, she could with such ones have an injured feeling when they did something that was not right to her feeling, she could
  Servant girl being is a kind of being that many millions of many kinds of women always have in them. Servant girl being in such of them is different from just servant being in other kinds of men and women. Servant girl being that is something of dirty or clean little girl being with the scared little lying always in such a one when there is much in their living and there always is in such ones of them for they need it to keep them going, to keep them cleaning, to keep them washing and working, to keep them from lying, much directing from the mistress living in the house with them, much teasing from children living in the house with them, much trouble with their loving so that nobody stops them when they go to their loving, much sitting in the kitchen with their hands so grimy nothing can clean them. Mostly such ones do not in their later living have servant queerness in them, they just get married most of them and just get old being that kind of them with many children always coming out of them and so they go on to their ending. Women who in all their living have this servant girl being in them are like in all women and always it is in all men and in all women that they have in them one of the two kinds of nature in them that is independent dependent or dependent independent nature in them. Servant girl nature in women then can be the independent dependent kind then with mostly only the dependent weakness in them with a scared dirty little girl crying and lying in them, mostly with nothing in them but the dependent scared weakness in them and no responsibility in them of being ever inside them and always a little in them and it mostly comes out in little tricks they have in them, little or much badness in them, a little of the attacking independent dependents always have in them. This is mostly in their living, in bad ones it can even come to stealing, mostly it is lying and finding ways to win to a ribbon, to moments in loving. Mostly when you catch hold of such a one by the arm to stop them there is not yielding, there is scared shrinking, there is lying, sometimes they do very good thinking, mostly in their later living a good many children come out from them, mostly they keep on working but always somebody is scolding them and this is a history of most of them.

  As I was saying women with servant girl being inside them, not servant being that is a different kind of being that has not the grimy scared little girl lying as the bottom of them, such then have it in them to be of one kind or the other kind of them the independent dependent or the dependent independent kind of them. There is one kind of them who have a little attacking in them the independent dependent kind; in them that comes out in little tricks and little dirty lying in them sometimes in stealing and other badness in them, in moments of leaving by themselves all of a sudden from where they were working when they are sure they can do better then and then there is a little grimy defiance in them, this is all the attacking there is in them, this makes of them independent dependent creatures for them and there will be written down here a history soon of one of such of them. There are then many millions always made of such of them, with always a servant girl nature in them and the independent dependent kind of being in them, there are then always many millions of such ones of them and always everywhere in every kind of living one can find such of them. Mrs. Hersland had the training of such a one of them, Mrs. Hersland had rightly an angry feeling when this one tried to get another place with out telling any one she was leaving. Mrs. Hersland had rightly an angry feeling then, she sent her away and soon there will be told the history of this one.

  There are then in the women who have servant girl nature always in them, with every kind of way they can be living, with every kind of training that can come to them, there are always the two kinds of them the independent dependent kind of them and the dependent independent kind of them. Many of the independent dependent kind of them are pretty, scared young girls in their living, sacredness and lying, and shrinking, and a little attacking, and a little winning and prettiness and appealing are mixed up in many ways in them. Mostly in all of them these are always somehow somewhere in them, when they are working for their living, when they are young ladies in their living always there is some one always directing them, sometimes it is a mistress, a master, a mother or a father, a husband, some woman, or an aunt, a sister, or a man who is directing them. These things always are mixed up in them and more we will come to know all the history of all of them.

  The dependent independent kind of women who have always in them the servant girl being in them have not in them anything of attacking, they have more weakness than shrinking in them, they have lying but it does not come out in little jerks out of them, it is never active in such a one, it is meekness and concealing in them; and there will be later a history of all of such kinds of them.

  Some women have it in them to be in all their living children, to have a childish nature in them all through their living. Some men have such a thing always in them, mostly men have it in them more than women to have in all their living a little childish nature in them. There are always then many millions of men and always some women who have always in them all through their living from their beginning to their ending child nature always in them. Some women have it in them all their living to have a grimy little girl nature in them, some have it in them to have a little girl sweet shrinking little lying nature always in them. All of such kind of them and there are always many millions made of them and they are in every place and in every kind of living, such have in them the nature that is in certain kinds of living servant girl nature and sometime there will be a history of every kind and every one of such of them. Some women have it in their living to have in them a being just before adolescent living, to have in them all through their living the fear of coming adolescence about beginning, in them, these always have it in them to be very lively so as to keep adolescence from giving sorrow to them, they are lively and they try all their living to keep up dancing so that adolescence will be scared away from them, these have not in them sentimental feeling, they have agressive liveliness in them. One can never be certain of this about them from their kind of living, they may be trying very exciting living, but in their walking they make a dance step not because they have it in them a lightsome feeling, they make it to keep in them a lively feeling, mostly they do not know it inside them that they do no
t want to have inside them the restlessness of adolescent living and so they keep up inside them always a lively feeling; they make a dance step every now and then in their walking. There are always many women who have it all through their living to have such a just before beginning adolescent being in them. There are some men who have in them all through their living such a nature in them. There are then many millions always being made of such ones of women, there are some millions always being made of such ones of men. Some women have all their living their school feeling in them, they never get through, from their beginning to their ending, with such feeling, such being, such living, it is in them and nothing can change them, they are always school girls in their being, some of them always are as school girls in their feeling, some of them always are as school girls in their living, some women have some of this in them all through their living from their beginning to their ending, some have only this in them it is always then all there is of them, there are many millions then who have in all their living more or less in them of such being. Some women have it in them and there are always many millions of them and they are to themselves like men in their living there are many women who are always vigorous young women energetic and getting information and busy every moment in their living and sometime there will be a history of many of such of them. Then there are many women, there are always many millions always everywhere of every kind of them, there are many women who have some kind of woman nature in them and always in the millions of all the kinds of them there is always in them one nature or the other nature in them, there is always some kind or every kind of mixture in them, sometime there will be a history of every one of every kind of them, sometime there will be a history of everyone who ever was or is or will be living, there must always sometime be a history of each one from their beginning to their ending, of every one who ever was or is or will be living. Sometime there will be a history of every woman, there will be sometime a history of every kind of them, there will be sometime a history of every part of the living of every woman from her beginning to her ending. This is now a history of some of them.