Kinetic Energy

by Hayley Faiman

  My eyes widen slightly and then I give him my own smile. “Really?”

  “Dinner, and maybe a movie if there’s something you want to see. Then tomorrow, naked Sunday,” he grunts.

  I kiss him one last time, then I’m out the door and heading toward the football game. I don’t bother taking my car, knowing for a fact that parking will be an absolute nightmare. Thomas grumbled, complained, and threw a mini-tantrum when he discovered that I was going to ride the bus, but I stood my ground. There is seriously no way I feel like fighting for a parking spot, on game day. Forget that shit. So, against Thomas’ wishes, I walk to the bus stop and head toward the college.

  Thankfully, it doesn’t take long to get there, it seems like that’s where everybody else is headed as well. It’s Saturday football, the entire town practically shuts down during the game.

  Jessa and her long blonde hair aren’t hard to find, and I give her a wave as soon as I catch her eye. Once I’m close enough, we hug, and it feels like we haven’t seen each other for at least a month. So much shit has happened in such a short amount of time.

  We quickly find our seats and I fill the silence, asking Jessa questions about Cole and Trent. I know that I’m avoiding my own drama, not sure what exactly I’m going to say to her. I feel, weird, about admitting that Thomas is married—admitting that I’m the other woman. I know that I shouldn’t feel guilty, I had no clue, and it isn’t on me, but I do. Even though his circumstance isn’t a traditional marriage, I still feel like what we’ve done and what we’ve continued to do is wrong.

  “Let’s go to the bathroom,” Jessa suggests as soon as the whistle sounds for halftime.

  Standing in line for the women’s restroom at any major event is like the seventh ring of hell, but I drank a coffee this morning, and two bottles of water, so I’m kind of screwed. The girls behind us are probably a few years older than we are and I overhear them talking about Cole. It doesn’t surprise me, Jessa’s man is hot, and he’s on that jumbotron quite often because of his looks.

  “I’d let him fuck me any way he wanted to. Can you imagine sucking him off, having those light green eyes looking down at you? Shit, I’m getting wet just thinking about it,” one of the girl’s moans.

  I glance over at Jessa whose face is bright red, either out of anger or embarrassment I’m not sure, but I feel badly for her anyway. Once a stall opens up I mutter, “Finally,” before I push Jessa toward it so she doesn’t have to listen to those bitches anymore. I hurry in the next empty stall and take care of business quickly, then make my way to the sinks to wash my hands.

  “Don’t even go there,” I state, wrapping my hand around Jessa’s and dragging her out of the restrooms.

  “I’m not,” she lies, shaking her head.

  I snort. “You are, but you shouldn’t. It doesn’t matter what he did before you. All that matters is what he does now that he has you,” I state, nodding my head once as we settle down back at our seats.

  Jessa arches a brow, turning to face me. “Oh, yeah?”

  Blowing out a breath, I turn to face her as well and then I tell her everything. Once I begin, I can’t stop. I tell her that Thomas is married, that he’s been married the entire time, and I’m not the first affair he’s had. Once the words begin to tumble, I can’t stop them and my stomach twists with every single one.

  I tell her how he left her for me, how he called her right in front of me. Then I tell her about the divorce papers that came just a couple days ago. “So, you see, it doesn’t matter what happens before you, Jessa. All that matters is what happens while he’s with you—what happens between you.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?” she asks, sounding shocked.

  I shrug, unsure of how to answer that exactly. I don’t want to go into the fact that I feel sick, that I’ve felt dirty and wrong. So, I give her a half-truth. “I didn’t want to tell you over the phone. You’ve been pretty busy trying to handle your own shit. You did not need mine piled on you, too. We are so fucked. But all’s well that ends well, right?” I ask, bumping her shoulder, faking my happiness and nonchalant attitude.

  The conversation is dropped, but I can’t help but continue thinking about it. Jessa is a good girl, she didn’t want to cheat on Trent and to be honest, I don’t feel like she really did. He didn’t love her, he abused her both mentally and physically. I don’t blame her for running as far away as possible, and she just happened to run into the arms of who seems to be a good man.

  Me on the other hand? I’m having an affair with a married man, a real one. I don’t care what Thomas says, what his justifications are, I don’t think there is any way this can be justified. I’m wrong, he’s wrong, and what we’ve done is wrong. No matter how right being with him feels, it doesn’t change facts.

  When the final whistle sounds we all stand and scream, our team was victorious. Jessa and I hug as we jump up and down. I’m happy that her man’s team won, that our school won, but I can’t get that niggling guilt from our earlier conversation to leave the pit of my stomach.

  I don’t go directly back to Thomas’ place. I guess I should consider it mine because I’m living there now, but I don’t. Instead, I decide to take a walk. It’s a crisp afternoon and my thin long sleeve shirt does little to keep me warm, but I don’t mind. It feels nice and refreshing.

  Looking around, I notice that the leaves on the trees are turning a pretty orange color, something that I’m not used to seeing in Florida. I frown, realizing that I haven’t been homesick, not really. I haven’t had a chance to miss home, or my family. I should miss them, and maybe if I’d had a moment to breathe recently, I would. I’ve been consumed, with school, with Jessa and her situation and then of course, with Thomas.

  I grip my phone tightly in my hand and look down. My fingers itch to call my mom, but then I wonder what I would tell her. I don’t think that I could tell her everything, tell her about how me and Thomas got together, that he’s my teacher, that he’s married, or that we’re living together. She wouldn’t understand any of it, and she would probably get in her car, along with Kosmo, and drag my ass back to Florida.

  THOMAS

  My attorney glances over the paperwork in front of him, while he shoves a fry in his mouth. Then he lifts his gaze to me. I met Robert, about two years ago, we became friendly acquaintances and so far, we’ve only socialized together, and I’ve never needed him for business. I know that he’ll be helpful, as he’s also from New York, and began his law career there. Today our relationship completely, changes.

  “She’s got the upper hand,” he announces.

  I grunt, fully aware that her filing first meant that she would. “I don’t want to drag this out. I know she does, and she will, but I want it done and over with as quickly as possible.”

  Robert smirks and lifts his chin. “Who’d you meet?” he asks with a small laugh.

  “Is it that obvious?”

  Robert shrugs, picking up his burger and taking a bite. “There are only a few instances where people want to rush a divorce, and you personally don’t fit the criteria for any of them, except having met someone. I know you, and I know what your arrangement was with Danielle. So, it’s not hard to deduce.”

  I run my fingers through my hair, unsure of how much I should tell him. “She’s it for me, Rob. I want this stage of limbo to be done with. I just want the divorce to be fast-tracked. Whatever it takes,” I announce.

  “She’s emptied your joint-accounts, she wants half your house, half your retirement, and if she didn’t make so much fucking money she’d want alimony as well,” he murmurs. “You’ve lived apart for five years, I would not advise to settle with her on those demands.”

  I nod in agreement; however, I don’t want to fight for months either. “She’s not going to make this easy, she’s already made it clear. What can I do?”

  Robert leans back, taking his glass full of pale ale with him. He levels me with a gaze and dips his chin. “We have both of your financial
statements, we have all of the current bank statement copies, including the day she emptied the accounts, and I would advise you don’t allow her to bend you over and fuck you in the ass,” he states.

  I’m not able to control my burst of laughter at his words, even though I completely concur with them. “I’m not getting any younger, I don’t want to waste my time, but I don’t want to give her all my money either. I’m closer to retirement than not, at this point.”

  “I’ll put together a list of your own demands, and will you be able to fly to the city for mediation or do you want me to petition a video chat conference for it?” he asks, taking a pen out and making a few notes.

  “It’s set for Monday two weeks from now. I have some sick days, I’ll be there if you can make it.”

  Robert lifts his chin. “I live for this shit, Thomas. I’ll fucking be there. She’s doing this just to be a bitch, because she can. She doesn’t want, nor need anything from you, and you don’t have any children so it’s all stalling tactics and bullshit. Hopefully, the mediator sees through her. If he doesn’t, I’m pretty positive a judge will,” he says. “I’ll draw everything up, email it to you for approval and we’ll fly out the weekend before mediation.”

  I agree and watch as he finishes jotting down information, then together we enjoy the rest of our lunch. A weight has been lifted from my shoulders just at the thought of everything hopefully working out in a somewhat easy fashion. When we’re finished we separate, and I head toward my car and drive home.

  Glancing down at the clock I’m surprised to see that I spent so long with Robert at lunch. The game should be over, and Ines will probably be home shortly after me. I let out a deep breath, deciding not to go home right away, instead, I drive toward a shopping center. I don’t know why my car leads me here. No that’s a lie, I know exactly why it does. All this talk of Danielle, of the fact that I’m not getting any younger, it has me anxious to start my new life.

  Parking my car, I jog toward the entrance and to the directory of the center, my finger finding the store I’m in search of. When I do, my legs quickly carry me there, my heart racing faster and harder with each step I take.

  “Hello, sir, how may I help you today?” the peppy sales girl asks as soon as my feet cross the threshold.

  I glance up at her, giving her a grin. “I’m looking for engagement rings,” I announce.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  INES

  My phone rings for what feels like the hundredth time. I don’t answer it though. I’m actually almost to my destination and the past few hours, being alone, thinking has been cathartic. Thomas is probably pissed that I haven’t answered his calls. I’m not avoiding him to be a bitch, I just needed a little time to think, to absorb everything that has happened the past few weeks.

  My entire life has changed, and while I don’t regret many of the changes, I do regret a few things. Coming to terms with being party to an affair, hasn’t been something I could just easily accept, forgive, and forget. Thomas has had time to come to grips with his relationship with Danielle, and he’s okay with it all. That doesn’t mean that I am as well. Regardless of what he says, what she says, at the end of the day they’re very much still married.

  As I walked around the city, the sun slowly setting and the chill becoming a bit too much for me, I thought about what life would be like without Thomas. A sudden sense of doom and despair filled me and that feeling in the pit of my stomach, it intensified, and it was too much for me to bear, to even think about life without him. How does that happen? How did I fall so completely for this man in such a short period of time? I feel a little crazy, and maybe I am.

  Hurrying home, I’m not surprised to see the front porch light on, or the lights spilling out of the windows from inside. He’s probably worried, but I needed the time alone to think. I know, without a doubt, that I’m meant for him, and he’s meant for me.

  Whatever insecurities I was feeling before, they’re gone. I have no doubts that the guilt from our actions will never quite go away, and there will be times where it will creep back inside, but that guilt feels nothing like the panic I felt at the thought of not having him.

  Opening the front door, I quietly close it behind me, and go on a search for Thomas. He’s easy to find, his hips leaning against the kitchen island, a glass of red wine in his hand and his angry glare pointed directly at me.

  Stopping in my tracks, I don’t walk any closer, his body language dictates that it probably wouldn’t be a good idea. Also, the air is thick with tension and I freeze, afraid to make any sudden movements.

  “You didn’t answer your phone, the first, or the tenth time I called,” he growls, his voice dark and dangerous.

  Lifting my chin slightly. “I was thinking, just walking around,” I admit.

  He shakes his head once. “I’m so goddamn pissed off at you, Ines. I didn’t know where you were, and I had no way to contact your friend. I was left here holding my dick, no idea if you were dead or alive,” he growls.

  I wince at his words, my body trembling because he’s right. I could have at least answered his call, told him when I’d be home. Instead, I completely ignored him. “I’m sorry, Thomas,” I whisper. I mean it too, it was stupid, inconsiderate, and extremely immature.

  Thomas sets his wine glass down with a loud clink and then he closes the distance between us. I hold my breath with each step he takes. He reaches up and tangles his fingers in the back of my hair, tugging my neck back. Looking into his eyes, I can see the hurt there, the worry, and the pain. Tears fill my own eyes. I caused this, and it was completely avoidable. I feel like a complete bitch.

  “I was worried,” he rasps.

  I nod, as much as I can, which isn’t much because his grip is tight in my hair. “I needed to think. This entire situation is something new to me. I feel extremely guilty,” I confess.

  He closes his eyes and rests his forehead against my own. “Don’t feel guilty, sweetheart. It’s me, it’s all on me. You’re innocent.”

  I let out a snort. “I’m far from innocent, Thomas.”

  Lifting his head from mine, his blue eyes sparkle as he grins. “You are innocent, Ines,” he states. His hand cups my cheek, and his thumb grazes just beneath my eye. I lean into the action, loving the way he touches me, and the way his gentle touch makes me feel safe—loved. “You’re innocent, and I’m the one who fucked everything up, I’m the bad one here. Not you, never you.”

  “I’m sorry, Thomas,” I admit.

  He lets out his breath in a puff of air, and closes his eyes. “I was just worried, angel eyes,” he says pressing his forehead to mine.

  “What did your attorney say?” I ask, trying to change the subject.

  Thomas lifts his head but doesn’t move away from me, his grip still held tightly in my hair. His other hand wraps around my hip and he pulls me slightly against him, holding me, caging me with his arms.

  “You hungry? It’s a little late to go out, but I can order us something?”

  Rolling my eyes, I look up at him scrunching my nose. “I’m not worried about food, Thomas,” I growl.

  He grunts, keeping me close even as I press my hands against his chest and try to push away from him. “She’s wanting half of everything. She won’t get it, but it could make the process longer than I want it to be,” he murmurs.

  “What do you mean, half of everything?” I ask.

  I knit my brows in confusion, she doesn’t live here, she doesn’t pay for any of Thomas’ bills. They live and have lived completely separate lives that I’m aware of. What could she possibly be owed?

  Thomas leans down slightly and runs his nose alongside mine, inhaling my scent. I copy his move, doing the same and enjoying the way his scent fills my nostrils. My entire body relaxes immediately, and I snuggle closer to his chest.

  “She wants half of this house, half of my retirement, and of course you already know she emptied the joint accounts we had. There wasn’t much in there, so I’m not
really worried about that. Honest to fuck, I’d give her the house or the money from the sale, if she really wanted it, but she’s just asking for it to be spiteful. I won’t allow her to touch my retirement though. That money is for us, for our future. I’ve put it away, and invested it for far too long, just to give her half.”

  “For us?”

  His fingers grip my hair even tighter, as does his fingertip on my hip. “Yeah, sweetheart, for us. For our future,” he says. “You’re my woman, I’ll always take care of you.”

  My breath hitches, and my eyes water from his words—us, future, they’re amazing. I want it all, every single thing, every piece of what could be. I want him to always take care of me, just as he’s promised. From now on.

  “What do we do now?” I breathe.

  He lowers his head, his lips brushing mine before he speaks. “After you suck my cock, I’m going to fuck your tits. Then you’re going to ride me, angel eyes, until you come all over me,” he growls.

  I gulp, my thighs shaking from his words, my pussy clenching “About the divorce.”

  “We go to New York in a few weeks, we meet with mediators, and I end this shit then,” he grunts.

  I whimper again, but only because his hand gently tugs my hair, his other hand applying pressure to my hip, and I slowly sink to my knees. Without instruction I quickly take my shirt off, and then unhook and pull my bra down my arms, exposing my breasts to him. He hasn’t made a move to remove his pants, so I reach up and wrap my fingers around his brown belt.

  Looking up, I keep my eyes connected to his blue gaze as I slowly unbutton, then unzip his pants. When I have his jeans down around his ankles, I gently slide his boxer briefs down to meet them. Thomas reaches behind him, and tugs his shirt off, dropping it to the floor. My eyes flit to his hard cock, and then back up to his face.