Kinetic Energy

by Hayley Faiman

  I explain that we’re getting married after the divorce is final. She doesn’t say anything for a few breaths, and I think that she’s going to voice her concerns like my family did. My eyes pinch closed as I wait for her to tell me how stupid we are, how stupid I am.

  “Tell me when and where, and I’ll be there,” she announces.

  My heart stops beating for a second, unsure that she’s really said those words. Then I smile, it’s crazy huge, and I’m kind of glad she can’t see it because I’m sure she’d think I was certifiable.

  “It’s just going to be at the courthouse, but I’ll let you know. I just had to tell you. I knew you’d be happy for me,” I confess.

  I don’t know if Thomas wants a courthouse wedding, but after talking to my family, my dreams of anything fancier than that are shattered. I won’t have anyone to walk me down the aisle, and my sisters won’t be my bridesmaids. I’m not about to plan something that’s just going to make me feel shitty, or shittier. So, a simple courthouse ceremony, and maybe dinner afterward sounds perfect.

  “Is someone not happy for you?” she asks.

  I sigh, seriously glad that she isn’t here to see my eyes well up with water. “My mom. She’s pissed. She thinks I’m rushing, and she refuses to accept it or acknowledge the wedding, or Thomas.”

  “She’ll come around,” Jessa says.

  I wish it were true, I wish I didn’t know my mother well enough to know that Jessa’s words, while they’re attempting to be comforting, will never come true. My mother doesn’t come around, she’s stubborn and strong-willed. Those are great attributes in a woman who has had to fight and claw through each and every day while raising a brood of children. Not always the best when you just want your mom to accept the decisions you make, even if she doesn’t necessarily agree with them.

  “I have to go, I’ll text you the info when I have it,” I mutter.

  “Congratulations,” Jessa says as I end the call.

  The tears flow again, and I quickly wipe them away sucking in a deep breath. Standing on shaky legs, I drop my phone to the bed and slowly make my way into the bathroom. It’s time that I face facts, it’s time that I stop pretending that there is an answer lying on the bathroom counter, an answer that could change my entire world.

  Flipping on the light, my eyes catch the stick, sitting there holding the information that can, and will, rock my world. I glance down at my engagement ring and I smirk. It’s still absolutely stunning, and not just because it’s beautiful, but because of what it means. Thomas really does love me, and he wants me, he wants to keep me forever.

  I close the distance between the counter and myself and glance down. I’m glad that I got the test that actually displays the words of the results, because my hands are shaking so badly, and my mind feels so jumbled that I don’t think I would be able to remember the difference between one line and two. I know what those words staring back at me mean though. I know exactly what they mean.

  Pregnant.

  THOMAS

  “She showed up in Lincoln?” Robert asks, leaning back in his chair.

  I nod, twirling my pasta onto my fork. The dish makes me think of Ines, and when I fed her Chicken Alfredo in bed. I miss her, and I’ve only been away from her for a few hours, I’m pathetically in love with her. “She cornered my fiancée in the bathroom of a restaurant while we were at dinner,” I explain.

  “Fiancée?” Robert sputters, his eyes widening in surprise. “Holy shit, you didn’t waste a fucking second.”

  I chuckle, shaking my head and reaching for my glass of wine. “Too old to waste time, Rob, and you know it,” I wink.

  “You do know that tidbit of information will send Danielle into a tailspin of fury, don’t you?”

  Leaning back in my own chair, I shrug. “I can prove we’ve lived apart for at least five years. New York is an irretrievable breakdown state, so it really doesn’t matter that I’ve fallen in love with somebody else, it’s no fault, what can she do?”

  “You don’t have to explain the law to me, Thomas,” Robert grunts, lifting the corner of his lips. “However, the best part of all of this is the fact that you’ve lived extremely separate lives for so long. That’s going to save your bacon with a judge if it goes that far,” he snorts.

  I nod in agreement and turn back to my pasta. I’m melancholy about how this has turned out, and part of me wishes that I would have conceded to Danny’s request. What she asked of me, wasn’t extremely unreasonable, but on the other hand, I couldn’t continue lying to Ines. I also, couldn’t ask her to accept the arrangement between Danny and me, it wouldn’t be the way to start a relationship and I’d already fucked up enough.

  “We meet at nine tomorrow morning,” Robert states, throwing his napkin on his plate. “I need some sleep if I’m going up against her hard-assed lawyers,” he winks as he stands.

  I chuckle, standing as well. “You’ll hold your own. I have complete faith in you.”

  “Damn straight I will,” he grunts.

  I sign the slip for the meal charging it to my room, then together walk to the elevator. It’s late, and I’m sure that Ines has been waiting for my call. I promised her I would contact her as soon as I was settled into my room for the night. Once we’ve separated, and I’m back in my hotel room, I don’t hesitate to pull up her name and press send. I need to hear her voice, it’s like a fucking addiction.

  “Hello,” she whispers, and my heart starts to pound.

  I can tell there’s something wrong. “What’s the matter, angel eyes?” I demand, not giving her a real greeting.

  “I talked to my mom,” she announces. “My family isn’t at all supportive of us, and they made it abundantly clear that they won’t be, ever.” My stomach drops from her words, and I hate that I’m not there to talk to her in person about this, to hold her, and let her know that it will all work out. “I’m still inviting them, but can we do just like a courthouse thing?”

  Clearing my throat, I give her a nod even though she can’t see me. “Whatever you want, Ines, you can have whatever you want,” I offer.

  “Will your family come?” she asks sounding hesitant.

  “I’m sure they will, we’ll ask them in a few weeks at Thanksgiving, okay?”

  I hear her gasp. “I forgot about Christmas, shit,” she mutters and then I hear her let out a sob. I hate to hear her cry, it feels like my heart is being ripped from my chest.

  “We’ll go somewhere for Christmas, just you and me,” I quickly announce. “Or we can go to my family’s, they always do a Christmas and my brother has a new girlfriend, which I’m sure you’ll meet at Thanksgiving.”

  “Okay, can we decide after we attempt Turkey Day first?” she says with a hiccup.

  I hum my agreement. “Yeah, sweetheart.”

  “I’m sorry I’m being a crybaby,” she mutters.

  Shaking my head, I chuckle. “I wish I were there to wipe your tears away,” I admit.

  We talk for a few more minutes, but she sounds exhausted and I’m sure she’s had a trying day, so I don’t keep her for long. I know that she will get to sleep in a little tomorrow morning since she won’t have to go to my class, but she’s tired.

  “Get some rest, sweetheart.”

  “Okay, Papi,” she rasps.

  I end the call, feeling a little bit empty. I should have been there when she talked to her family. No, I should have put her on a plane and we should have gone to see them in person. I feel like a fucking pussy, again.

  Selfishly, I’ve been thinking about me, my divorce, my family and her, but not about the outer aspects of our lives. I haven’t thought much about her mother, or her siblings, about how they would react to an eighteen-year-old Ines being with—me. Fuck. I have some making up to do, and some ass to kiss.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  THOMAS

  Danielle’s shrewd, cold-as-ice glare stares at me from across the table. It doesn’t affect me though, not in the way she wants it to. She’s t
rying to intimidate me, but it isn’t working. I’m too pissed off at her to be scared of her. She’s never really scared me, and the past five years I’ve honestly felt indifferent toward her. Lust and love, I don’t remember how long it’s been since I’ve felt either emotion for my wife. It’s sad, really, more sad than anything else.

  “Let’s get down to the real reason we’re here. Danielle is mad because Thomas wouldn’t follow some plan she had. So, she’s trying to make him pay. They haven’t lived under the same roof in over five years. There is no reason for her to get half of his retirement, other than greediness, and spitefulness,” Robert states as his opening words to the attorney next to Danielle, and the mediator at the end of the table.

  “Danielle makes more money than Thomas, she always has, and they each bought their homes without co-mingling their funds. The only accounts they were joint signers on were ones that they had before they moved away from each other, and those funds hadn’t been touched until Danielle filed for divorce,” he announces.

  “We file taxes together,” Danny announces, her bottom lip pouting. This is a side to her that I’ve never really seen before, an attempt to be submissive, interesting.

  The rest of the meeting is a bunch of back and forth between my attorney and Danny. Her lawyer just kind of sits there, and I’m surprised that she doesn’t have more of a shark for an attorney. The mediator asks if there is some kind of agreement we can come to, and Robert gives them what I’m willing to negotiate with, which isn’t my retirement, but instead I’m willing to give her half of what my home is worth, nothing else.

  I watch as her attorney talks to her, quietly, and she crosses her arms over her chest, her eyes focused on me and extremely pissed off. They argue back and forth and then her attorney finally addresses the room.

  “Yes, my client is willing to accept those terms,” he states.

  Thank fuck.

  We sign the documents, waiving all of the waiting periods and discovery times and settle right then and there. My attorney also drew up a motion to expedite on the grounds that we’ve been separated for so long, his next meeting is with a judge, who will hopefully grant it.

  Originally, I had hopes of filing in Nebraska and hadn’t realized that New York had a longer divorce proceeding, making the minimum ninety days. I haven’t had the heart to tell Ines yet, Robert assuring me that he would try to get it handled earlier rather than be forced to wait the entire wait-time.

  When everything is finished Robert tells me to go on, and that he’ll call me when he’s finished at the courthouse. I thank him, giving him a hearty handshake before I walk out of the building. I can’t believe it’s pretty much finished, and a heavy weight lifts from my shoulders.

  Danielle had an idea of grandeur, of ruining my life and it didn’t work—or hasn’t, and I hope she gives up because I don’t care to fight with her, not anymore. I wish her the best, I truly wish her happiness, I just know that it won’t be together.

  “This isn’t over.” A voice calls out from behind me as I begin to walk down the steps of the courthouse. Turning around I see Danielle, her attorney tugging on her bicep.

  “Are you threatening me?” I ask. “And in front of your counsel?”

  She snorts. “I don’t know how this dumbfuck passed the bar,” she says, hooking her thumb in his direction. “I’m not threatening shit, Thomas. I’m promising you that even when this divorce is final, this shit between us isn’t over. You fucked with me, you spineless prick,” she hisses, her eyes darting all around, unable to focus, yet again.

  “I hope that you find your happiness, Danielle,” I murmur.

  Turning away from her, I ignore her when she calls out my name three more times. I walk away, leaving my past behind me and my wasted youth. Wasted, which fucking hurts, because I don’t think that she ever truly loved me. Had she, had we really loved one another, I would never consider a moment wasted. That’s not the case though, and now that I’m almost completely free, I see that.

  With Ines, I don’t feel as though a minute has been wasted. I feel that if something happened tomorrow and we were no longer, I would still think fondly of her, no matter what tore us apart. Everything with Ines is different than anything I’ve experienced before. She makes me feel like a new man, like for fifteen years I haven’t been breathing and suddenly—I’m fucking alive.

  “You’re a lucky bastard,” Robert says as we sit back in our seats on the plane.

  Two nights away from Ines and I’m like a fucking addict, my hands are trembling from the need to touch her. I’m close too, and I can’t wait until this plane lands so I can break the speed limit all the way home. I lift my chin toward Robert. I am a lucky bastard, but I’m not sure in this context what he means by his statement.

  “The judge granted the expedited divorce, and only because I had concrete evidence that you’ve been living apart for so long. Danielle agreed to everything, which I don’t understand why because she was coming at you with vengeance before.”

  I snort. “She’s still going to fuck with me, I can feel it. She’s just going to go about it a different way. Her plan backfired. Her demands were stupid, even her attorney knew it. Then she tried to scare off Ines, but failed, next she’ll go after my career, I’m sure of it.”

  “Thomas, you need to be careful,” he mutters.

  I shake my head, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Last night I sent out feelers for jobs in my field. It might be pointless, and nothing may come of it, but I’m not going to let her blindside me again. I have to prepare myself for the worst, which would be that she goes to the school and tells them that I’m sleeping with a student, and in a relationship with said student.”

  “Which would fuck both of you over,” Robert grunts.

  I chuckle. “Which would fuck us both over, and she knows it. Which is why I’m not going to sit around with my dick in my hand and wait to get caught.”

  The plane begins to descend, and we don’t speak about my divorce, or my career again. Choosing instead to talk about Robert and what’s new in his life. By the time we’re in the parking lot of the airport we say our goodbyes, and he informs me that he’ll let me know as soon as anything happens in the case but nothing else should come up and I should be free to marry Ines at our planned timeline.

  “I want to meet this girl, and soon,” he shouts as I start to walk away.

  I lift my hand, “You will, we’ll do dinner or something,” I call out as I slip into the driver’s seat of my BMW.

  I do exactly as I had planned, I haul ass home. Glancing at the clock on my dash I smirk. Ines should be finished with all of her classes by now, and we can spend the evening wrapped up between the sheets. I can’t fucking wait.

  INES

  I pace. I look down at my phone, the text message telling me, I’m on my way, and I pace.

  He’s coming, he’s almost here, and I have to tell him that I’m pregnant, with his baby. What the fuck is he going to say, or do? I wrap my hand around the front of my throat and try to breathe. I feel around for my pulse, it’s racing, just like my heart.

  What the fuck am I going to do? I can’t keep this from him for even a second, he’s going to know just by the wild and crazy look on my face that something is up. I just hope his reaction is a good one, that he doesn’t freak the fuck out on me, because honestly, I’m freaked out enough.

  I hear keys in the laundry room door, and then the door opens. It’s time. Oh God, it’s time. I’m not ready. I turn my back to the hallway that I know he’ll be walking through at any second. I need to breathe, I need to get it together and stop panicking—but I’m freaked out.

  We’re too new, and this is a serious game changer. What was I thinking when I was excited, the other day? I wasn’t, it’s clearly apparent that I wasn’t thinking at all, and now I’m overthinking.

  “I’m home, sweetheart,” Thomas calls out. I close my eyes tightly before slowly opening them, and then I turn to face him. “What’s wrong?”
he asks.

  I watch as his bag falls to the floor and he quickly marches toward me. I love how concerned he is, and as soon as his hands wrap around me, pressing against my back, all of my worries melt away.

  I gulp, my eyes meeting his blue gaze. “We need to talk,” I state.

  “Fuck,” he hisses.

  I shake my head and cup his cheek with my hand. “I don’t know, you might think it’s bad, but I don’t think it’s bad. It’s definitely something we need to chat about.”

  “Is it about your family? Angel eyes, we can go there tomorrow. I’ll properly introduce myself, and I’ll fix it all,” he rambles.

  Tears fill my eyes and they fall, one by one, but I don’t make a move to wipe them away. I’m too mesmerized by his blue gaze, too in love with him to miss even a second of his eyes on my own.

  “I’m pregnant, Thomas,” I announce.

  My voice betrays me and what I intend to be a declaration comes out barely a whisper.

  Thomas blinks, twice, and a third time he keeps his eyes closed while he inhales deeply through his nose. Then his eyes reopen, and they shimmer in wetness. “Are you sure?” he asks.

  I can’t read his reaction, and I can’t tell if he’s happy or mad. Instead of saying anything, I nod, my throat too tight to speak.

  “Holy fuck,” he breathes. Then he unceremoniously falls to his knees. He wraps his hands around my hips and his mouth presses against my stomach. I gasp, my fingers covering my mouth which is now hanging open like a gaping fish searching for water. “Ines,” he practically groans, tipping his head back slightly to look up at me.

  I dive my fingers into his hair and wait for him to say something else, my tears flowing down my cheeks like a river now. “I wish that I could marry you tomorrow, sweetheart. I can’t believe that this is real,” he murmurs. “It’s like a fucking dream.”

  “One that I hoped you wanted to come true?” I ask on a hiccough.