Just A Step Away (Closer)

by Roberts, Flora

“Don’t,” I whispered. “Don’t say anything, please.”

  With that Lucas pulled me completely flush against his bare chest and I could feel his heart racing a mile a minute. It wasn’t as though I had never thought about him as more than a friend, my best friend, but I knew it would never work.

  Every ounce of stress lifted from my body. I knew that I was probably giving out the wrong signals, but I didn’t care. All of it felt so damn good. He felt so damn good. And for once the man holding onto me didn’t care about how my body looked or where I came from. He just held on.

  My hands had been resting on Lucas’ shoulders and when he pulled my hips into him, my fingers slithered around his neck until they reached the little hairs at the nape of his neck. He dragged in a ragged breath. A throaty growl bubbled up in his chest and I instantly felt a tightening deep in my belly.

  I felt the warmth of his breath on my neck as he whispered, “Lanie”, moving impossibly closer to me. “I...”

  I didn’t respond. I just kept moving to the beat of the music. I wanted to feel. I sucked in a breath when Lucas pressed himself against my belly. And that’s when I felt it. He was hard.

  Something in the pit of my belly stirred, and when I opened my eyes and looked up at his face, Lucas’ brows were furrowed, almost as if he was scowling, parting his lips slightly. His eyes were wild, searching my face. I quickly pulled my hands away and bolted through my bedroom door, pressing my back up against the wood.

  Why did everything seem even more fucked up? All we did was dance. Why the hell would he get a woody just by dancing with me? It’s not like I was one of those beautiful blonde, big boobed women he dated. Hell, those women didn’t even have an ounce of fat on them! What the hell, Sparky? Maybe he needed to get laid. That had to be it. My vagina, his penis, so, so close. Oh, God!

  I changed into my running gear. It was high time for that run.

  Chapter 2

  ~Lucas~

  I didn’t give a shit anymore. I wanted her. That’s all there was to it.

  I watched for the second time as the woman I’d been in love with for the past two years walked away from me, out the door without so much as a word. I knew that just holding her in my arms would prove to be torture and I’d been right. But it was a sweet torture that I would gladly endure a thousand times over just to touch her, to feel her pressed against my body.

  The first time I ever laid eyes on Lanie Wagner I was done for. The way her hips swayed back and forth as she walked into my brother’s bar drove me insane. Her smile affected me in ways I’d never experienced before. Sure, I’ve been with plenty of other women over the years, but none of them have ever compared to her. She’s all I think about. She’s on my mind from the moment I wake up until the very second I go to bed. She’s the main attraction in my dreams. Hell, she’s the damn inspiration to my five-finger-sausage-massaging-sessions.

  The night we met, Lanie had been with friends at the bar and I knew that if I let her leave without speaking to her I’d fucking regret it. So, I did what any other hot blooded male would do. I sucked it up, grew some balls, and went for it. I was confident that she’d be mine by the end of the night. Wanting her in my bed, pleasing every inch of her body, if only for that one night, ate away at me. I wanted her like nothing I’d ever wanted before. The need consumed me, drove me half insane. I wanted to...no needed to claim her as mine. But what I hadn’t expected was her rejection.

  As conceited as it sounds, I’d been used to always getting what I wanted. Always. Women weren’t an exception. I had the fucking playbook down pat. I knew how to work the women and give them what they wanted. All it took was a subtle smile, a little brooding, nice conversation, and a few drinks. Women love feeling wanted, love the attention. They fucking craved it and I knew exactly how to deliver. So when the night came to an end, I gave Lanie my signature smile and asked her back to my place for a drink. She declined with a smile planted right on those sexy lips of hers.

  That was the first time she had walked away from me. And that was when I vowed to find out more about the girl. I wasn’t going to let this one go. Everything about her wrecked me, made me feel things I’d never felt before.

  My mind wandered back, recalling the exact day that Lanie offered me her spare bedroom. I didn’t need it, however. I was already living in an upscale apartment complex in Los Feliz, complete with more celebrity neighbors than the Hollywood Walk of Fame. After a series of run-in’s at my brother’s bar, our friendship grew exponentially. We talked before I left for the office, when I got home from work, and late into the night. It had become our “thing”. It was something that I looked forward to every single day.

  During one of our nightly phone calls, Lanie had told me about having to kick her previous roommate out of her apartment. From what she’d explained, the girl had stolen Lanie’s half of the rent money that she always hid in her bedroom. As if things couldn’t have gotten worse, when she tried to confront the girl about the money being missing, the girl’s boyfriend decided that it was okay to threaten her.

  Time? Yeah, I didn’t waste that shit. I quickly suggested that we share a place together. Even though I thought she would jump on it, she didn’t. It took her about three weeks to agree. When she did, I decided to keep my apartment and sub-rent it out to my best friend, Brody. I had my shit moved into Lanie’s apartment within a day.

  I sucked in a breath. This shit was getting to me. I walked to bedroom, slamming the door behind me.

  Fuck!

  I ran my hands through my damp hair and stood in the middle of my bedroom with the towel slung low on my hips. The walls felt like they were closing in on me. I couldn’t breathe. Everything about the woman destroyed me, fucked with my head. She was constantly there, all around me. She made me feel things that I’d never felt for another woman in my entire life. And the memory of her soft, gentle hands just moments earlier threw my passion into overdrive. I fucking needed that woman, and a fiery desire ripped up my spine that caused my balls to ache exponentially. I needed relief.

  I let the towel fall to the floor and wrapped my greedy fingers around my achingly hard length. I had two options: jack myself off or figure out how to give myself a swift kick to the head. How the hell was I supposed to continue living with Lanie as her roommate? How? It was question I decided to leave for later. Right now, I needed to fuck myself. I needed to get off before she came back because I wasn’t going to be responsible for my actions when I saw her again.

  I slid my free hand down my chest, as my other hand began to pump my length. I wrapped my fingers around the shaft and blew out a deep breath, closing my eyes. I brought my palm up and back down a few times until I felt the tip seep a fraction and ran my thumb over it. A deafening growl ripped up my chest.

  A shiver ran down my spine as I continued to pump myself. As if not having her wasn’t enough, Lanie’s face flashed behind my closed lids. It damn near drove me crazy with lust, and my hand worked faster, up and down my cock. My breathing got ragged, my heart crashed against my chest.

  A coiling began to wind itself in the pit of my gut, tighter and tighter, and I knew that I was getting closer to coming. A tingle shot through my legs and straight down to my toes. I needed this, craved it, and thinking about her as I fucked myself with my own hand had my balls tightening and ready to explode.

  “Oh, fuck yeah.” My balls tightened even further, imagination toying with me. “That’s it, Lanie, suck my cock.”

  “Sparky?”

  I froze like a stone, my shaft still held tightly in my palm. What the fuck was she doing back so soon? Did she stub a damn toe? Every other time Lanie went for a run she was usually gone for a couple of hours.

  “Sparky? You here? Hey, have you seen my Ipod? I can’t find it any—”

  That was absolutely not fucking okay. Not at all.

  Before I even realized what I was doing, I flung open my bedroom door. And there she was, beautiful. The blood began to swell back into my somewhat deflate
d cock. And with a roll of my eyes and a severe case of blue balls, I reigned in my frustrations and I took one good, hard look at her. She was wearing a black Lycra tank top with a racing stripe covering her breast and matching shorts that hugged her hips like a second skin.

  “No.” I rested my palms on either side of the door frame. “I haven’t seen it.”

  A draft from an open window in the living room drifted past me. I looked down and almost started to laugh. I was completely naked. My eyes flickered up when I heard a gasp, and my heart immediately started to thump wildly against my ribs as Lanie and I stared at each other. I watched in rapt attention as her eyes traveled from my chest and down the length of my stomach. The feelings rocketing through my body intensified when I saw goose bumps litter her arms and the little hairs that stood on end.

  She was most definitely staring at my cock.

  I grabbed on to the doorframe and squeezed. “Now...you’re staring at my cock.” I knew I shouldn’t have, but I was done playing around.

  “I…um…” She stuttered, and I thought it was the cutest thing I’d ever witnessed. “Second thought, I can do without it. See ya, Sparky.”

  For the life of me, I wished deep down in my bones that I could man up and just tell her how I really felt about her. I wanted Lanie to know but she seemed so put off by men. It had always made me wonder if she’d had a bad experience with a man in the past. Just the thought of her being hurt or disrespected by some jackass ingrate made me want to pummel the would-be asshole. Then there was that little thing called reality. If I told her it could scare her away or, worse yet, it could possibly ruin our friendship.

  And, for a third time, I watched as the woman I’d fallen head over heels in love with bolted out the door. I’d had enough of that shit. Next time...next time I was coming clean.

  Chapter 3

  ~Lanie~

  I ran the path as hard and as fast as I could. The wind blew through my hair. The crisp, salty ocean air swept through my lungs, and I reveled in it.

  When I was younger, I was never the “skinny” girl. The women in my family have always been “big boned”. Ah shit, who the hell was I kidding? Let’s just say we don’t go swimming. We go chunky dunkin’. After I graduated high school and moved to sunny Southern California, I vowed to shed the fat, and took up running.

  I was tired of being labeled, especially in the bedroom. Every man that I had either dated, or the few I had been intimate with, never seemed fully pleased with my extra baggage. When I finally lost a healthy amount of weight, the hair was next, and a full-on wardrobe change came after.

  Running faster as the salty breeze continued to engulf my senses, I was completely unaware of heavy footfalls behind me until I felt a tug on the back of my ponytail. My natural instincts kicked in and my body went into survival mode.

  As soon as I twisted around, I closed my eyes and sent my leg out in front of me with brutal force. I kept my eyes screwed shut as my foot connected with something soft. I wasn’t sure what I had kicked, and I didn’t care until I heard a low groan and a loud thud hit the concrete pathway. My first reaction was to kick for dear life and my second was to run for the hills, arms flailing as I went.

  “I think you broke my dick!”

  At the sound of his strangled voice, my eyes sprung open and my stomach began to turn. I quickly fell to my knees and literally began to panic.

  “What the hell, Sparky? You crazy shit! What the hell were you doing sneaking up on me like that?”

  I felt my heart rate speed up and my blood pressure rise with each breath that barreled down my lungs. Adrenaline soared through my veins when I saw Lucas in the fetal position with his hands hovering over his crotch. Thoughts of me causing serious damage to his goods made me sick to my stomach.

  “You got a serious…ah…kick there, Lanie,” he groaned with his eyes completely screwed shut. “I should’ve known better.”

  He should have known better seeing as though he and I took those kickboxing classes last month, resulting in me kicking his rear on the mat several times over.

  “Are you okay? Did I really break something?” I asked, checking him all over. Lucas’ skin color had changed from his normal California sun-kissed tan to Kermit the Frog green.

  “Don’t give yourself that much credit,” he replied trying to move and failing miserably. “I think...I think I’m gonna throw up.”

  “You need to lift your balls,” I suggested, remembering the time my brother had gotten into a fight with a tree branch when we were kids. The idiot thought he was invincible jumping out of the tree in our front yard. Instead of being a superhero, his nuts crashed and burned on the way down. “It helped my brother.”

  Lucas’ eyes widened at my words and a slow smile crept across his face. “And who’s gonna lift my balls?”

  When I realized just what he was implying, I shoved him in the shoulder and caused him to barrel backward on the ground with a thud.

  “Would you quit abusing me already? People are going to think we need couples therapy!”

  He was crazy. A certifiable nut job if he thought that I was going to touch his sack. Anyways, we were just friends. Nothing more. Even if I wanted something more with Lucas, there was no way I could ever compete with the girls that caught his eye. They were the complete opposite of me; tall, blonde, and a taco short of a grande meal.

  “You must have hit your head too.” I shook my head when his smile stretched further and reached down to grab his hand to help him up. Cocking an eyebrow, I pointedly said, “Grab your own nuts, buddy.”

  “I should’ve never taken you to those classes. Your foot is lethal.” Lucas groaned as he pushed himself up from the ground and got to his feet. ”What the hell’s been wrong with you, anyway?”

  I pulled in a deep breath and shook my head. “Nothing’s wrong with me. Just forget it.”

  “Forget it, my ass! You just kicked me in the sack because you’re moody as hell, and now you’re telling me to ‘just forget it’? Are you serious?”

  Snapping out a resounding “Yes”, I turned on my heel and forced my feet to pick up speed in an attempt to put some distance between us. Lucas and I were just friends, but sometimes when I was near him things felt different; slightly awkward.

  “And I kicked you because you were creeping up behind me!” I broke out into a power walk, not caring anymore if Lucas was hurt. I was hell-bent on getting away from him, his line of questioning and all of his irritating quirks.

  “Hold up, Lanie!” he yelled out to me as I continued to leave him behind. “Damn it! Why are you being such a bitch?”

  My feet abruptly halted and I spun around when I heard that ugly, vile word spew from his lips. I mean, I’ve heard Lucas curse before because, quite frankly, he has no damn filter. But he has never ever spoken that way to me before.

  “What did you just call me?”

  We were several feet away from each other and I watched in what seemed like fast-forward as Lucas walked toward me with a fierce determination. My breath caught when he finally reached me. His deep blue eyes pierced me with an intensity I had never experienced. He hadn’t looked at me that way before and it quite literally sent my body into a tailspin.

  “I called you a bitch because you’re acting like one.” He searched my eyes, nostrils flaring. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you but you’re making me want to bend you over my knee and spank your little ass. So, unless you want a good ass whooping, then spill it.”

  A shiver ran down my spine, catching me by surprise, and goose bumps prickled my skin. All I was able to do was stare into his eyes, at a loss for words. In a split second, a picture of him naked and spanking my bare ass rocketed through my head while moisture gathered between my thighs.

  “Right now, Lanie, or I swear I’ll pop you a good one on your cheeks in front of all these people.”

  ~

  Thirty minutes later, I watched Lucas’ expression as it morphed from one of confusion to amusement. I had
sat him down and explained everything to him. Everything I had once told Lucas about my family had been nothing more than a façade. I hadn’t wanted him to know that the reason I left Silver Springs after high school graduation was because I was embarrassed by them all. I explained Jasmine’s wedding and having to go back home. Also the fact that I had to bring my boyfriend. All of this might not be such a big deal to him, but to me it meant hell and humiliation. I wanted neither, especially his laughing ass in front of me right then.

  “That’s it? That’s what’s got your panties in a knot? For real?” Lucas laughed at my expense and shook his head. “Lanie, everyone has that one family member that embarrasses them. So what? Ignore it.”

  I threw my arms up dramatically. “It’s not just one, Sparky! It’s the entire bunch!”

  Lucas chuckled and scrubbed his palms down his face. “Either way, you should be grateful that you have a family.” Lucas didn’t give me a chance to question his statement. “And why can’t you find someone to go with you? It can’t be that hard for you.”

  “For starters, finding someone to go with me on such short notice, and that won’t run away screaming from my family, will be nearly impossible. Second, my cousin is what I like to call a hillbilly prude. She was the captain of the varsity cheerleading squad and won every beauty pageant she ever entered. If I don’t bring someone who isn’t a loser, and hot, I will never hear the end of it. At this rate, I won’t find any poor bastard willing to endure even a millisecond with my family.”

  Telling Lucas–or anyone else for that matter–the humiliating truth grated at my insides. I hated that I couldn’t be proud of who my family was or even want to be near them. When I was younger I hated that I felt the need to cover my face every time I passed a group of friends in town as my mom drove us to the grocery store. I hated all of it.

  I was pulled out of my mental crap when Lucas’ hand landed softly on my knee, squeezing it gently. “I’ll be your poor bastard. I’ll go with you.”