Safe Harbor

by Radclyffe

  Reese hated drugs, and especially those who provided it. Too often, the kids who tried it were simply acting out of the normal rebellious, unfocused discontent that seemed inherent in the nebulous world between childhood and adulthood. Unfortunately, they became trapped by the very real physical and psychological seductiveness of the drugs, and the drug culture, without meaning to. That they were victims, she had no doubt, and the perpetrators of the crime were the suppliers, not the addicts. She was determined that Provincetown would become a very unpopular place to commit that particular crime.

  Reese pulled to a stop, cut the engine, and sat for a moment looking at the person huddled on her back steps. Brianna Parker stared back at her, her gaze steady and defiant.

  "Youre early," Reese commented as she approached. "Class doesnt start for forty-five minutes." Reese could tell by the look of surprise on Briannas face, a flicker of expression quickly masked, that Brianna had not been thinking of their seven oclock appointment for her first jujitsu class. "Come in the kitchen and wait while I shower and change," Reese said as she passed the teenager, fitting her key into the back door as she spoke.

  "If you havent eaten, theres bread for toast and juice in the fridge," Reese said as she tossed her keys on the table. She continued through to her bedroom, leaving the youth to sort things out for herself. When she returned in a clean white tee shirt and crisply ironed gi pants, she was pleased to smell coffee brewing. There was a plate of toast sitting in the middle of the breakfast bar. Reese gabbed a piece to munch on as she poured a cup of the welcome coffee.

  "Thanks," she said as she leaned against the counter facing Brianna, who was perched on one of the high stools that flanked the counter dividing the cooking area from an eating area large enough to accommodate eight at the glass and chrome table.

  Bri stared at the woman facing her, impressed by the taut muscles outlined under the tight tee shirt as well as her piercingly direct gaze. Reese presented an awesome figure. Bri took a deep breath.

  "I came to talk to you about last night," she managed to say without a hint of the unsteadiness she felt.

  "I thought you came to train," Reese responded.

  "Maybe you wont want me to now," Bri said, a slight quiver in her voice.

  Reese raised an eyebrow, her eyes never leaving the troubled teens face. "How so?"

  Bri shrugged. "II came to ask you not to tell my dad."

  "I wasnt planning to. But you should."

  "Yeah, right," Bri snorted. "Like he wouldnt kill me."

  "Hes got to know sometime. Maybe you should give him a chance," Reese suggested mildly as she refilled her coffee cup. "I dont know him real well, but he seems to be okay about the gay thing."

  "Oh, sure - its okay with him, maybe , for some other kids - but not for me!"

  Reese looked at Brianna, then nodded. "Youre right. Theres no way to tell how hes going to react. But he for sure is going to be a lot better about it if he hears it first from you."

  "I will tell him! Just not now!" Her fear broke through and her eyes filled with tears. "Im only seventeen, he can keep me from seeing Caroline if he wants to. And if her father finds out, hell kill her!"

  The girls anguish was palpable, and Reese suddenly realized how many additional terrors being gay added to the already tumultuous world of adolescence. It was something she didnt know much about, and in a town like Provincetown, she needed to. She decided that, for the moment at least, she didnt know enough to make a good decision, or to offer meaningful advice.

  "Im not going to say anything to your father, and if I decide its necessary at some point, Ill tell you first. You can decide then whom he hears it from. In the meantime, I want your word that you and your girlfriend will stop meeting in dark alleys, or under the pier."

  Bri tried to cover her surprise. How did she know about the pier?

  "Its dangerous, Brianna, especially for two women." Reese raised her hand against Briannas protest. "Theres no point in pretending that you and Caroline could stand up to a bunch of guys. Thats not sexist - thats reality. One way a woman defeats a man is to use her brains - first to avoid the fight, and then if she must fight, to win the fight. Dont stack the odds against yourself."

  "Theres no where for us to go," Bri muttered, knowing the truth of Reeses words. "Thats why I need to learn to fight."

  Reese crossed the kitchen into the hallway beyond and returned with a folded bundle which she handed to Brianna.

  "This is your uniform, your gi . It is only to be worn in the dojo , when we train. I leave for work at seven. If you are here at five forty-five, any morning, we will train for an hour. It will take time, and patience, and work, but I will teach you to defend yourself. Is that still what you want?"

  Bri reached for the uniform. For her it represented her first steps toward self-determination. "Yes."

  "Then lets get started."

  After Bri changed into the uniform Reese had provided her, she followed Reese through the breezeway to the garage. She copied Reeses actions, bowing at the threshold before entering the thirty by forty-foot space, then removing her shoes and placing them beside the expanse of mat covered floor. She waited uncertainly as Reese crossed to the center of the mat and knelt, her hands resting gently on her thighs.

  "Kneel and face me," Reese said. When Bri complied, Reese continued, "It is customary for the student to bow to the teacher, or sensei , at the beginning and end of each class. This is not to show obeisance, but to convey respect and to offer thanks for the opportunity to train. I will also bow to you, to honor your commitment to learn."

  After the initial ceremony was completed, Reese stood and motioned Bri to her feet. "Basics first. You need to learn how to fall before I can teach you to throw; you need to learn how to block before I can teach you to punch and kick; you need to learn to move out of the line of attack before I can teach you how to counter an attack. These are the foundation for all that you will learn in the months, and hopefully the years, to come."

  Bri nodded her understanding, eager to begin, and anxious to prove her serious desire to learn. In the hour that followed, Reese introduced her to the fundamentals of jujitsu, demonstrating forward and backward rolls, proper fighting stances, blocking drills, and the first joint locking technique. Bri was young, supple, and athletic. She made good progress. She concentrated on Reeses every move, trying to imitate the way her teacher stood, turned, and rolled. It seemed impossible to her that she would ever be able to attain the grace and power that Reese manifest with every move, but she was determined to try.

  "Grab my lapel," Reese instructed. As Bri complied, Reese said, " Kata dori ," indicating the Japanese term for the attack. Reaching up, she trapped Bris hand against her shoulder, turned her wrist, and with both hands applied a wristlock. Bri gasped slightly at the pain in her stretched wrist, but held on wordlessly. As Reese leaned slowly toward her, the pressure in her wrist forced Brianna to her knees.

  " Kata dorinikkyo ," Reese named the defensive maneuver.

  When Bri stood, Reese grasped her jacket. "Now you."

  Bri repeated the movements exactly as she remembered Reese had done, and was awestruck as Reese went to her knees before her.

  "Very nice," Reese commented. Bri flushed with pride. "These techniques are powerful, and potentially devastating. They are only to be used here, in the dojo , or on the street when you have no other choice but to use them."

  "Yes, sensei ," Bri answered quietly.

  Reese turned away with a smile. She sensed that Brianna would be a good student, and she had enjoyed the chance to teach her.

  After they had bowed to each other, and Reese had knelt to carefully fold her hakama , the black skirt-like garment worn by experienced practitioners, Bri lingered uncertainly at the door. Reese looked over to her, a question in her eyes.

  "Can I come tomorrow?" Bri asked softly.

  "I am here every morning at quarter to six. If you come, we will train."

  Bri smiled and bowed sligh
tly, naturally. "Thank you."

  Reese smiled and bowed back, watching as Bri walked away down the drive. She remembered how she had felt, when she first began nearly twenty years before, and how her life had been enriched by her training. She hoped she could provide that, in some small way, to this young woman. At the moment, however, there were more pressing things to consider. And more that she herself needed to learn.

  Chapter Ten

  "Morning Chief," Reese said when she entered the station an hour later.

  "What are you doing here?" Parker asked abruptly.

  "Sir?" Reese questioned in surprise, halting halfway to her desk.

  "Didnt you just finish the night shift two hours ago?"

  "Yes, sir, but Im scheduled to work today -"

  "Conlon," the Sheriff said with a sigh, "youre a civilian now. I know I told you that you needed to be available twenty-four hours a day if I needed you, but I didnt mean that you actually had to work twenty-four hours a day!"

  "I know that, Chiefbut I offered to take Smiths shift without asking you, and I fully expected to work today. Im fineI slept last night between shifts. Im used to sleeping at odd hours."

  He looked at her in exasperation, but he wasnt angry. She didnt have any idea how unusual she wasany other officer, no matter how good they might be, would have jumped at the chance to be relieved of a shift. She seemed to actually want to take hers. He knew she didnt have a family, and probably hadnt had much of an opportunity to make friends, but at the rate she was going, she never would. That she seemed perfectly content with her solitary life, and her work, perplexed him. It would have been odd, even in a man, but in a young woman like herhe was at a loss to figure it.

  "Okay, okaybut no more doubles unless I approve it." He caught the flicker of unease in her usually impenetrable gaze. "What?"

  She faced him, squaring her shoulders, unconsciously coming to attention. "I told Smith I would take the last half of the night shift until his baby is born. It shouldnt be more than a few days. I didnt clear it with you because you told me that as Deputy Sheriff I had clearance to reorganize the shifts as needed."

  "I was thinking more along the lines of an emergency when I told you that, Conlon although having a baby certainly feels like an emergency at the time. With any luck his wont be two weeks late like mine was."

  He shrugged in defeat, leaning back in his swivel chair to gaze up at his tall second-in-command. "Go ahead, Reesebut take time off during the day if you need it. Im depending on you to keep things organized around here this summer. Weve got a small force, compared to the crowds well have to deal with, and Smith probably wont be worth a fart in a wind storm once his kid is born."

  "Yes, sir. Thank you," Reese replied.

  "Speaking of kidsdid mine show up at your place for her class this morning?"

  "Yes, she did."

  "On time?"

  "She was early."

  "Good. I thought she must either have been up and out early, or that she slept through it. She didnt answer when I knocked on her door this morning."

  Reese was pretty sure that Brianna hadnt been home at all the night before, and she was uncomfortable keeping that from her boss, a man she was coming to like. On the other hand, Brianna wasnt exactly a child, and Reese felt she owed her the chance to work things out with her father in her own way. At least for the time being she had given her word to keep silent. Besides, she was fairly certain she could keep an eye on Briannas nighttime excursions, now that she was aware of them. She said nothing.

  "She do okay?" he asked gruffly. He felt like he knew less and less about his daughter with each passing day. They didnt talk as they used to when she was small, when he seemed to have all the answers to her endless questions. Now he didnt have a clue as to what motivated his only child, or what might make her happy. He couldnt help but think that if his wife were still alive, she would know what to do with his headstrong offspring.

  "She did very well."

  "Yeah?" he said with a smile of pride. "Good."

  "Whos out on traffic?" Reese asked, not wanting to linger on the topic of Brianna. "Jeff?"

  "Yeah. Things wont get busy until eleven or so when the tour buses start arriving."

  "Im going to catch up on some paper work then, and go out around noon. That okay?"

  "Sure. I have to be at the town meeting at ten. Theres likely to be some heat over the move to build that condo unit out at the end of six. The mayor wants me to talk about the manpower shortage, and more tourist influx. Same old story."

  "Gladys coming in for the phones?"

  "Eleven till five."

  "Right," Reese said, pulling a stack of evaluation forms, payroll vouchers, and other employee paperwork in front of her. "Ill catch up with you at town hall then."

  Nelson Parker nodded and tossed a wave as he headed out the door.

  Reese left several hours later, leaving her patrol car at Town Hall and walking west along Commercial to get lunch at the deli. She carried her sandwich to a small sitting area behind the Galleria, a collection of shops catering to the tastes of quick stop tourists who wanted a piece of "authentic" Cape Cod memorabilia. The deck in the rear was equipped with picnic tables and a great view of the harbor. Reese sat on the bench with her back to the table so she could watch the tide on its way out. The site and smell of the water settled her in some deep way that she had no words for. She only knew she would never live far from the ocean again.

  She glanced east along the shore, trying to pick out her mother's studio. An image of her mother and father and her on one of their rare family outings to the beach came to her. It hadn't been too long before her mother left. She had never asked him about her mother, had never tried to find herbefore now. She wondered why that had been. Her father and she were as close as a stern, reserved man and a solitary, private daughter could be. She respected him, even if she did not always agree with him, and he was proud of her accomplishments. He was deeply disappointed when she left active duty, even though she remained in the reserves, and they had not spoken since her move to Provincetown. He did not know she had contacted her mother; she wasnt even sure he knew that his ex-wife lived here. Reese knew she needed to call him soon, but she wasnt sure quite what to say.

  That thought brought Brianna Parker to mind, and the rift that seemed to be growing between her and Nelson. Maybe part of it was the inherent differences between fathers and daughters, like men and women, but Reese knew that for Brianna it was much more than thatthere was the complication of her sexuality to be dealt with. If she were to help Brianna in any real way, she needed to know more about that.

  She stood, adjusted her cap against the suns glare, and moved quickly through the crowded aisle back to the street. A few minutes later she was at the gym.

  Marge greeted her with a grin. "Hey youanything new?"

  "Nope," Reese replied, grinning back. "But I would like to talk to you. Can you get away sometime this afternoon?"

  "How about now? Annies hereshe can watch the place. Is this business or pleasure?"

  "Lets say its personal," Reese responded.

  "Damn! Youre a tough woman to get information out of!"

  Reese nodded toward the door. "Come on. Lets take a walk."

  They joined the crowds, and started toward the far west end of Commercial Street. There the narrow one-way road joined the confluence of six A and Route six at the jetty that led to Long Point. They didnt say much until they had settled on the same bench where Reese and Victoria King had sat the previous day. Reese scanned the narrow, treacherous walkway, amazed once again that Tory had braved it.

  "So, whats up?" Marge asked, startling Reese for a second.

  Reese pushed the image of Victoria Kings face from her mind.

  "Did you know that you were a lesbian when you were a teenager?"

  "I had a pretty good idea," Marge answered.

  "How did you handle it?"

  "I tried to kill myself," Marge said after a moment.


  Reese stared at her intently, her chest tight, sorrow for Marges pain mixed with rage at a world that would drive a young person to such desperation. Her jaw clenched while she searched for words. "Can you tell me about it?" she asked at last.

  Marge gazed out to the ocean, lost in memory.

  "It wasnt quite as dramatic as you might imagine. I grew up in a little town in the middle of nowhere. My parents were good, hardworking people without much imagination. I was a surprise, you might say. From the time I was small I preferred boys clothes, boys games, boys toys. All I wanted for my birthday was a six-shooter and a pair of jeans. My parents thought if they bought me dolls, I would forget about the guns. It didnt work. By the time I was ten, I was in love with the rec director at the playground down the street. She was tough and taught the girls to play baseball, and if I got there before everyone else, she would play catch with me. I got there early every day for an entire summer. By twelve I had a special girlfriend I would gladly have died for. We went everywhere together, spent every night in one anothers houses, and slept over with each other frequently. We never touchednot in a sexual way, but there was no doubt that I loved her in the way boys and girls do. Our friendship lasted into highschool. One day, when we were sixteen, she told me she had been to bed with her boyfriend. Up until then, we had both dated, but no one had ever come between us. At that moment, my life changed forever. I knew then that she didnt feel what I felt, and never would. She was no longer mine, in the deepest part of herself, the way she had been. It broke my heart, and there was no one to tell."