Dark Horse

by Jessica Gadziala

  "No wonder no woman lasts in your bed longer than a night. Your sense of humor is downright twisted," she said, leaning past him to hit the button for the window, nearly moaning at the lovely fresh air that came streaming in before Enzo leaned down, resting an arm on the sill.

  Now, she liked Enzo when she met him, all casual, fresh off the streets. But even she had to admit that he cleaned up nice. She had maybe, just maybe, dragged him into the bedroom by one of his schmancy ties a time or two. Or twenty.

  "Windows steamed up like you're fucking only works if you guys move the car around a little bit," he said, smirking.

  "I am a gentle lover, man," Kane said, deadpan, making Enzo snort. "Sorry I am stealing your woman like this. What can I say, I'm a sucker for a fucking cigarette nazi."

  "What are you doing here?" Espen said, trying to look out through the mostly-foggy windows. "We're on a job."

  "Yeah, the cartel case," he agreed, out of nowhere producing a manilla folder. "That's why I'm here."

  "You can't shoulder in on my case, Enzo!" she hissed, offended and a little embarrassed with Kane present.

  "You know I mind my own business about your work," he reminded her, and that was true. Sure, they talked about their cases, and even offered each other advice, but that was where it ended. Always. "But Atien got wind of this. No, not from me," he went on patiently when her mouth opened to yell at him. "And he wasn't happy, so he got on this, which meant I had to get on it too. So don't shoot the fucking messenger, honey. I'm not taking over, just giving you some addresses. I'm assuming you got all the photos you need. Now you have a name and address. You can hand it over to Asher, get bad guys locked up, and still make your commission. Oh, and not be stuck in the car with a cigarette addict who has got to be driving you up a wall by now. It's a win-win."

  Damnit.

  He was right.

  She was kinda over the case.

  The cartel aspect that she initially thought was kind of exciting, was just proving nerve wracking. She was happy to have it over. Even if she didn't get to do all the work herself.

  Besides, she hadn't been home at a decent hour in over a week. She was missing out on some seriously yummy sex with her man. That simply would not stand.

  "Alright. Thanks," she said, taking the folder.

  "So, I can expect you home before four AM for a change?" he asked, his mind on the same track as hers.

  "Give me an hour," her said, her desire already building.

  "Ugh, gross. Get a room," Kane declared dramatically with a smirk, reaching for the door, and slamming it into Enzo slightly with his desperation to get outside so he could light up finally.

  "An hour?" Enzo clarified.

  "Be naked," she agreed, and he nodded, then moved to step away. "No, wait!" she called making him bend down and look in again.

  "What?" he asked, smiling because she was.

  "Leave the tie on."

  Even his laugh as he walked away was turning her on.

  Enzo - 1.5 years

  "Oh my God," Kenzi said, voice completely devoid of patience. "Why is this so hard? Pick a freaking ring. Literally any ring at this point. Please. I am literally begging you right now. Close your eyes and point."

  "He brought us for help," Reese reminded her sister, but even she was looking a bit worn out, her hand running over the spine of the book she brought even though he told her there wouldn't be reading time. To Reese, there was always reading time. Like on the car ride over. And when they stopped for coffee. Then picked up Elsie and Gina.

  "In her defense," Gina said, smirking, "we have been here for two hours."

  "Don't listen to them," Elsie said, touching his arm. "This is a big decision. And Espen never wears jewelry, so we have no idea what she likes."

  "Simple," Kenzi said, throwing up her hands because she had been saying the same thing for an hour and a half. "She likes simple. Find simple. Buy it. And then take us out to lunch where we can drink this memory away."

  "If your lady likes more of an understated design," the jeweler piped in, likely sensing things getting a bit out of hand with his clients, and not wanting to miss a sale from a man in a two-thousand dollar suit. "I have these three that might work perfectly."

  He came back with a tray, producing a row of rings that were, indeed, much more simple than all the ones with flowers and encrusted bands and shit that he knew Espen would pretend to like, but secretly resent having to wear. They were all on plain platinum bands with a lone diamond in each. One was round, one square, and one pear. All of said diamonds were enormous, sure, but he didn't care about the price, just Espen's willingness to actually wear it.

  "Espen is tiny," Elsie supplied. "I believe I read somewhere that small fingers work better with pear-shaped stones."

  And, funny enough, that had been the one his eye had been drawn to as well.

  "That's the one," he declared, pointing at it, feeling the weight of his decision, and liking it a fuckuva lot more than he could have imagined less than two years before.

  So much had changed.

  In such an amazing, unexpected way.

  Working for Atien gave him an exciting job with amazing benefits that allowed him to live the life he had with Third Street, never having to worry about money, but without any of the repercussions from illegal activity. He gained the respect and even admiration of his peers, something he hadn't realized he wanted so badly.

  And, well, he got Espen.

  When compared to her, literally everything else became background noise. The moment he realized that was the moment he decided to get the girls together and pick out a ring, a decision he regretted almost instantly. Not the ring buying. The girls.

  "See? Simple. You guys all heard me say simple an hour and a half ago, right?"

  "I think everyone in Navesink Bank heard you, honey," Gina declared, putting her arm around Kenzi's waist, and smiling. "I'm really happy for you Enzo. You deserve all this and more. Annie would be so proud of you."

  Annie would be so proud of you.

  He almost broke the fuck down in the middle of the jewelry store.

  He never realized just how badly he needed to hear those words until he heard them.

  And when he reached up to wipe at the one stray, seemingly unmanly tear that managed to slip out, and Gina, Kenzi, Reese, and Elsie all closed in on him to give them a hug he knew his mother would if she was there, he could finally see that it was over. It was done. His life was clean again.

  That night, after surprising Epsen with the ring in the very spot they spoke their first words to each other - right outside Xander's office door - and taking her home and making love to her until they were both boneless, pleasure-exhausted, useless flesh, he pulled Espen onto his chest.

  And for the first time in more years than he could even remember, he went to bed with a sink full of dirty dishes.

  Without a second thought.

  Espen - 4 years

  "Help!" she hissed as the door opened to Kenzi's house, revealing a woman who had two daughters and still somehow managed to look like she stepped out of a fashion magazine, only further making Espen feel like a failure in her yoga pants and stained t-shirt with hair she wasn't sure she had washed in, well, three days.

  "What's up?" Kenzi asked with a smile as Espen moved in, her daughter trailing behind her, really just a ball of energy and various sticky substances that Espen could not place since she hadn't given her anything even remotely sticky since she got up that morning.

  Espen threw up her hands. "I can't do it. I suck at it!" she declared, knowing she was being dramatic, but also realizing that she was talking to Kenzi who understood dramatic perfectly well.

  "You suck at what?"

  "Being a mom! I suck at it. I mean, I suck at it hard."

  "Okay, okay," Kenzi said, holding up a hand. "Hold up. Tig?" she called into the house, and it was barely a minute before the giant man came ambling in. "Can you take little Annie outside to play with the girls? Esp
en needs some grown-up time," she added, taking Espen's hand, and pulling her upstairs, where she pushed her into a chair, then went immediately to the coffee machine to pour her a cup. "Alright. Now you can go on," she said after Espen had taken a healthy sip.

  "Kenz, I just... I can't do it!"

  "Do... what exactly? You've been mom'ing for two years already."

  "My house. Oh my God. I don't think I have seen the actual floor in three weeks. Three weeks. And the dishes are sky high because she needs to eat three-course meals every freaking two and a half hours from sunup to sundown. And she has gum stuck in her hair. Gum. She's never even had gum, but there it is in her hair, and I don't know what to do, so I just tied it up because... I can't just cut it out. She barely has any hair to begin with! Oh, and what the hell am I supposed to use to bake cupcakes if gluten, sugar, and eggs aren't allowed? What twisted, crunchy, alternative universe am I living in that kids can't have a normal fucking cupcake anymore? Oh, and I stink. I actually smell, Kenzi. Like sweat. And old milk. And last night's dinner that I think might be stuck in my hair. I just... I wasn't meant to do this. This just wasn't a smart idea!"

  Kenzi's smile was teasing, but not unkind as she took a deep breath. "Okay. First. Fuck the house. Kids make a mess. So what? If it bothers you, hire a cleaning lady. And, no, that isn't an extravagance if it is helping you keep your sanity.

  Two, run an ice cube over the gum and it will come out.

  Three, fuck the crunchy moms. Make the cupcakes how you want to eat them and have a fucking trigger warning on them if they want to be so goddamn anal. One cupcake isn't going to make a sugar addict out of their kids. Jesus.

  And four, there is the hallway. You take a five-hour long shower if you need to. I have clothes.

  And five, finally, you are not a bad mother. You were meant for this. And you did have a smart idea when you decided to have Annie. From birth to age three, you pretty much just revert to a primitive survival state. That's normal! Especially because you're up in the city. I mean, I have my mom, Reese, Elsie, Alex, Amy, and my aunts if I need help. And they come over all the time, believe me. Don't be too proud to ask for help. I know you have some girls up there too."

  She wasn't wrong. In the years she had been working for Xander, she had made friends with not only Ellie and Faith, but a friend of theirs named Corey. She had just been too proud to ask for help.

  "I don't want to both..."

  "Stop," Kenzi cut her off. "Annie is the cutest goddamn thing in the world. She is a pleasure to watch, not a bother. Reach out. Ellie and Faith and Corey all know what it is like. You guys can all do like a day a week where you take all the kids, so the other moms have the day off."

  "That's actually a brilliant idea," Espen said, feeling the weight start to lift from her shoulders. A day? She could get a whole day to herself? And all she had to do to have that was watch a couple more kids occasionally? Her house was already a sty and full of toys and food. If she could just get a day to go to the gym, take a walk, or you know... take care of basic hygiene... oh yeah, that would be worth it.

  "I know. I'm more than just a pretty face," Kenzi agreed. "Go shower. We got Annie."

  So she did.

  And she didn't just scrub the necessary areas. No, she deep cleaned. Hell, she even shaved! She didn't remember the last time she shaved. Her legs had moved way past prickly cactus stage and had gone silky. That was how you knew it had been too damn long. After she cleaned up, she slipped into clothes Kenzi had laid out, a dress she normally would never wear, but felt good to slip into regardless.

  When she walked out, Enzo was somehow there, giving her a once over that made her skin heat.

  "What... how did you get here?"

  "I got a call from Kenz. She said my woman needed a night out and a solid sheet surfing session at a hotel. So here I am." He gave her a sweet smile, head tucked to the side. "Having a bad day, huh?" he asked, holding an arm out for her to walk into. Which she did. Happily. "I like that you came down here for help, honey," he said in her ear as he pulled her close. "Kenz said she is happy to take Annie any time you need a break. You ready to head out?"

  Oh, she so was.

  And for a few hours, she wasn't a mommy anymore, not a bad cook, a poor housekeeper, and a forgetter of basic hygiene needs.

  She was just a woman.

  On a date.

  In a restaurant.

  That didn't have paper tablecloths that you could draw on.

  With her man.

  The man who had been beside her day and night for years, who was her rock, her sounding board, her best friend in the world.

  Then after a meal, they did get a room. A luxury one. Where she could sink into a jacuzzi bath. Which was, ah, good for when Enzo came in and positioned her just right and made an orgasm rip violently through her system.

  "What's the matter?" Enzo asked late that night after they had taken the adult fun of the bath into the bed until they were both sweaty, sore, and exhausted. She moved to lay on his chest, hearing his heartbeat, feeling his hands sifting through her hair like he so often did as he started to drift off to sleep.

  She pressed up, looking down at him with an odd smile. "I miss Annie," she declared, making him smile up at her.

  "Annie is fast asleep at Kenzi's," he offered. "Right now, it's just you and me."

  She smiled down at him. "I like you and me," she admitted.

  "Yeah? Well, I love you and me," he said with a smile as he reached out to touch her cheek.

  God, yes.

  She loved him and her too.

  More than she thought she could.

  More than she even knew was possible.

  And even if maybe she had days when she was worn out and a bit crazy - or even, er, psychotic - she loved being a mom too, something she could never have known about herself.

  "You know, we might as well stay over," he said, running a hand down her back. "Tomorrow is Sunday dinner."

  "Oh, lord," Espen groaned, shaking her head.

  Four years.

  Two-hundred-and-eight Sunday dinners.

  They never lost the chaos she experienced at the first one.

  "Oh, come on," he said, smile wicked. "You love the drama."

  She did.

  She totally did.

  She loved it even more now that she was a part of it, that she belonged there, that Atien and Biyen were invited as well. That they were all just one big, loud, crazy, beautiful family that maybe cussed too much.

  "I do," she agreed, leaning down to kiss him. "But not nearly as much as I love you."

  XX

  DON'T FORGET

  Dear Reader,

  Thank you for taking time out of your life to read this book. If you LOVED this book, I would really appreciate it if you could hop onto Goodreads or Amazon and tell me your favorite parts. You can also spread the word by recommending the book to friends or sending digital copies that can be received via kindle or kindle app on any device.

  ALSO BY JESSICA GADZIALA

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  Pagan

  The Savages

  Monster

  Killer

  Savior

  Stars Landing

  What The Heart Needs

  What The Heart Wants

  What The Heart Finds

  What The Heart Knows

  The Stars Landing Deviant

  Mallick Brothers

  Shane

  Ryan

  Mark

  --

  DEBT

  For A Good Time, Call...

  Vigilante

  The Sex Surrogate

  Dr. Chase Hudson

  Dissent

  Into The Green

  Dark Mysteries

  367 Days

  14 Weeks

  Stuffed: A Thanksgiving Romance


  Dark Secrets

  Unwrapped

  Peace, Love, & Macarons

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Jessica Gadziala is a full-time writer, parrot enthusiast, and coffee drinker from New Jersey. She enjoys short rides to the book store, sad songs, and cold weather.

  She is very active on Goodreads, Facebook, as well as her personal groups on those sites. Join in. She's friendly.

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  <3/ Jessica