by Maegan Abel
The face she made as she pleasured herself with my hand, combined with the feel of her smooth flesh, nearly pushed me to lose my control. I wanted to take her. I wanted it so bad I could barely sit still as she moved my fingers just how she wanted.
Before I knew what she was doing, she removed my hand, sliding her body up so her now damp flesh was against my cock. Both of my hands fisted in the back of her shirt as she slowly glided herself along the length, stopping short of the tip before moving back down.
“Oh, fuck,” I rasped, my breathing ragged as she continued her slow assault. My head dropped back against the cushion of the seat for a moment before I lifted it to find her face again. The smirk she wore told me she knew exactly what she was doing to me. “What happened to not teasing?”
“Somebody is impatient,” she cooed, continuing the torture with another roll of her hips. Just as she reached the tip again, my control wavered.
Sliding my hands between us, I easily found the edge of her lacy panties. It didn’t take much to rip the offending fabric from the area I wanted completely exposed. Her gasp didn’t register until my hands returned to her hips. I looked up at her as she shifted forward again. I suddenly remembered then. Slow.
She slid her hands down her body, gripping the edge of her shirt before lifting it over her head. Slow. She watched me for a moment before rolling her hips, pressing her body into mine again. I tightened my grip, holding her steady as I fought back the urge to throw her down on the couch and claim her. She watched me, a smirk tilting one side of her mouth as her eyes assessed the chaos she could more than likely see in mine. Fuck, I’d never wanted anyone the way I wanted her.
“You have no idea what you’re doing to me.” I could hear the dark tone in my words but it was all I could do to control myself.
“I’m pretty sure I do.” She didn’t hesitate, she dragged her body up the length of my cock again before lowering herself completely. She moaned and the sound was almost my undoing.
“Wait,” I hissed, sucking in a breath as held her in place. She squirmed, tormenting me further by flexing her muscles around me. “Are you trying to make this quick?” I asked, not surprised in the least to see her smiling.
“And here I’d heard stories about the infamous legend who could last all night,” she teased, leaning in and trailing her teeth along my jaw.
I bucked my hips roughly, causing her to gasp before using my grip on her to start moving us at a steady rhythm. “Not the time for jokes,” I warned. She arched and it put her tits at the perfect angle. I leaned in and bit down on her already tightened nipple through her bra.
She cried out my name, moving faster when I released her hips, sliding my hands up her back to unclasp her bra. She yanked at the shoulders of my shirt and I knew what she wanted. I slid one hand under her before I stood, still buried inside of her. She immediately wrapped her legs around my waist as I toed off first one shoe and then the other, kicking them aside as she used her feet to shove my jeans further down my legs. I stepped out of them and lowered us back to the cushions, hovering over her as I reached behind me and pulled my shirt off, tossing it on the growing pile of clothes.
Her hands immediately found my hair as I kissed and nipped my way down her neck. She let out another gasp as my teeth grazed her collarbone and my dick twitched. I kept my pace steady as she rocked against me, trying to read her body. I wasn’t sure if it was my own inability to control my thoughts with her or just that she was completely different from anyone I’d been with, but I didn’t feel as sure of my normal tricks. I ran my hand down, hitching one of her legs higher against my body as I slid deeper inside her. Her reaction was one I understood as she trembled. This was good. She was close.
“Almost there,” she moaned and the words were just what I needed to hear. I sped my pace, leaning up to watch her face as she let go, her body contracting around mine and pulling me with her in her release. “Holy shit, Zane.” I pushed up on my elbows, still breathing heavily as I leaned my forehead against hers.
“My thoughts exactly,” I said, smiling as she tilted her chin up to kiss me.
She wiggled and I shifted, moving to lay beside her as she squirmed. “Did you seriously rip my underwear?”
I chuckled as I realized she was attempting to pull the shredded remains from under her skirt. I leaned up, helping her slide the fabric from her legs with a grin. “What can I say? They were in my way.”
She laughed. “I love yo—” Her words were cut off by the harsh ringing of my phone. Her eyes widened and I felt her tense immediately, the flush on her cheeks fading as all the blood left her face.
I immediately scooted away, giving her space as I snatched my jeans and tugged them harshly back into place while attempting to remove the offending device from my pocket. I blinked at the screen for a moment, not realizing my anxiety about the call until I felt the flood of relief when I saw it wasn’t a Texas number.
“It’s my attorney,” I told Lili, not looking up at her as I answered. “Hey, Steven.”
“Zane. I’m sorry to bother you, I know you’re out of town,” he said as I tried to listen. I was distracted worrying about Lili. I watched her from the corner of my eye as she started getting dressed. “I wanted to tell you that Lizzie finally agreed on a date for the hearing.”
His tone finally caught my attention and I felt my brow furrow as I wondered why he sounded so hesitant. Lizzie had been consistently fighting the next step so her giving in to the hearing was a good thing. At least, I thought it was. “So, what’s the problem?”
Lili started toward the door then and I jumped up, grabbing her hand to stop her. The last thing I wanted was for her to leave upset. She looked back over her shoulder at me and shook her head, nodding toward the railing as she mouthed that she needed some air. I squeezed her fingers and she returned the pressure before I released her hand.
“According to her attorney, Lizzie has brought some evidence to light that they believe will effectively prove you are unfit to raise Conner,” he finally answered, his words making my stomach drop.
“What kind of evidence?” I asked, surprised any sound made it through my tight throat.
“That’s what I’m waiting to find out. Her attorney said it was in some sealed court files but he was certain he could get the judge to use the information.” His answer was followed by a sigh. “You know what this is about, don’t you?”
“Yes.” It was the only thing I could say. I stared out at Lili, watching the way she ran her fingers through her long hair as she pulled it back into a ponytail.
“If we’re going to fight any kind of serious allegations, I need to be prepared, Zane. I need to know what we’re up against.” Steven was always no nonsense but his voice now told me he was in defense mode. He was the best of the best and that’s why I’d hired him to begin with when I filed for the divorce and was attempting to make the original custody agreement with Lizzie.
“When is the trial?” I asked, hoping I had time to go in and discuss this with him in person. I didn’t want to get into all of it here. I couldn’t focus on my past and stay strong for Lili. I needed to get her through this and back home. I needed to tell her first.
“October second,” he answered.
Pressing the fingers of my free hand into my temples, I closed my eyes. “Who set the date?”
“Her attorney set it up through the court. Why?”
I didn’t respond right away, taking several deep breaths as I pushed back the bile threatening to rise from my stomach. I couldn’t believe anyone, even Lizzie, could honestly be that callous.
“Doesn’t matter. Look, I’m almost done with what I have to take care of here and then I’ll be headed back. I’ll call you next week and set something up to come in and talk to you about all this in person. I can’t do it right now.” My voice cracked on the last sentence and I cleared my throat.
Steven sighed again but didn’t argue. “Alright. I’ll talk to you next week then.”
I disconnected the call without responding. It was rude but I couldn’t worry about that. I needed to put it all out of my mind until we returned to Vegas.
I was somewhat distracted as I stared out at the water surrounding us, but, as always, I could feel Zane before I even heard him. The pull of that part of me, the part that I’d tried so hard to hide or fight, was overwhelming. He didn’t speak as he approached but I leaned into him, letting my back rest against his chest to acknowledge his presence.
The moment our bodies touched, his hands found my waist. His arms encased me seconds later and his forehead rested against the top of my head. His deliberately slow breathing didn’t go unnoticed as the silence stretched tighter between us. I considered asking what his lawyer said or shoving all of it down and going back to our food, but now that the phone had reminded me what was going on today, I couldn’t seem to claw my way back up from the pit I fell into when it came to the trial.
The prosecutor said it would most likely be over today, but would it ever really be over?
Overwhelmed, I wondered if that desperate fourteen-year-old girl crying in the bathroom made the right choice.
“What?” Zane asked, his body rigid behind me now. I didn’t move, unsure of his question. His fingers tightened as he spun me around to face him. My breath caught at his expression, my automatic reaction being to lean away from him. “What did you just say?”
I lowered my eyes from his glare as the realization that I’d spoken aloud knocked the air from my lungs. That was never the kind of thing I would admit to anyone. Ever. Especially not Zane.
“Listen to me—” He stopped speaking as I cringed at the venom in his voice. His grip loosened immediately and he took a step back, putting distance between our bodies. Even in the ridiculous heat of late afternoon, my skin felt cold from the loss of contact. Drawing in a ragged breath, Zane shook out his hands, clenching his fists before pulling his arms behind his head. The movement drew my eyes upward again and I watched as his body visibly calmed. When he lowered his hands, his gaze was softer. “You are too important to the world. Never doubt the choice you made. It brought you to me.”
I swallowed and pushed myself to move, closing the careful distance he put between us when I flinched from his anger. I clenched my fists into his t-shirt at his hips, burying my face in his chest as his arms engulfed me, drawing me even closer before he pressed his lips in my hair.
“I love you, Pixie. So fucking much. You have no idea how you’ve saved me — how you continue saving me — and that’s my fault. I should tell you every day how empty my life would be without you. I should make sure you know that you are the one person in the world that I’ve always been able to count on.” He paused, his lips trailing down to my ear, holding me tight against him as his fingers pressed almost painfully into my skin. “You’re it for me. You’re everything I needed and didn’t even realize was right in front of me.”
The silence that stretched as I tried to find my voice was calmer. Finally, I glanced up his chest, keeping our bodies tight. “Do you remember the day you got the tattoo on your shoulder?” I asked, watching confusion touch his features before he nodded slowly. “After what Kas said that evening and the way you started avoiding me, I was crushed. We’d only known each other for a few months but I think I knew, somehow, that I was in love with you. Even then.”
There was something like pain in his eyes before he shut them, dropping his forehead to mine. “I’ll never come close to deserving you.”
Tilting my chin, I touched my lips to his, savoring the feeling his words gave me. In the midst of everything collapsing around me, Zane could still make me feel nothing but completely adored.
“You need to eat something,” Zane whispered as he broke the kiss, his eyes soft. “You haven’t eaten all day. Come on.” Taking my hand, he led me back to the shade of the cabin.
“What’s going on up here?” Zane asked, running his fingers along my temple as he slid in front of me where I stood at the bow, watching the sunset.
I sighed, blinking away the spots caused by the bright light as I focused on his face. My thoughts had been all over the place for the last half hour or so. Knowing that the call was coming and waiting all day had drained me, physically and emotionally.
“I’m just scared,” I admitted, surprised how easy it was to say the words to him. His eyes studied me before he slipped behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist as we stared out at the oranges and reds bleeding over the water of the lake together.
“You don’t need to be scared of him. He can’t hurt you anymore. You know that, right?”
“It’s not him I’m scared of. Well, not only him. I’m afraid that…” I trail off, trying to find the words to explain. “It feels like I’m losing myself.”
“How so?”
“It’s a lot of things. I’ve been so good at keeping my emotions in check but ever since Kaitlyn arrived, it’s like I can’t fight her away anymore. Kylee was a crier. She was the one that was afraid of confrontation. I can’t seem to stop it and I’m scared.”
He sighed but the sound wasn’t frustrated. He sounded almost wary when he finally spoke. “You have to stop doing that.”
I glance over my shoulder at Zane, feeling my eyebrows pull together. He met my eyes briefly before he looked back at the water. “You’re disassociating. You’re trying to make yourself believe Kylee is a different person but she’s not. She’s you. What happened, it didn’t happen to her. It happened to you.”
“I know,” I answered, my voice hard. Even in the heat, goose bumps broke out on my skin as I trembled. The reminder, so bluntly worded from Zane, sent the same chilling terror through my body that I’d had when I was reliving it in the courtroom.
“I don’t think you do. I think you’re still trying to separate yourself from everything and it’s not healthy—”
“You’re not my fucking therapist!” I yelled over him, jerking forward to remove his hands from me, but hesitating to turn around. I was overreacting and I knew it. I closed my eyes, reminding myself that he loves me and his words were coming from a place of concern. He wasn’t trying to be condescending.
I took two deep breaths as I released the tension in my shoulders slowly.
“I’m sorry.” We both spoke at the same time. The words were followed by a short huff of laughter breaking through the heavy moment and I leaned back into him again.
We lapsed into a more comfortable silence as we watched the sun finish its descent, leaving us with a strip of moonlight glistening along the water.
“I’m so confused,” I admitted finally, still trying to put words to the emotions. “Being here, around my family, I’m lost. I mean, I don’t even have a name anymore.” I was rattling so I sighed, dropping my head back against his chest.
“So take mine.”
I felt the tension return as I stiffened in his hold. I replayed his words in my mind before I spoke. “You shouldn’t say things like that.” My voice sounded somewhat choked. I couldn’t believe he said that. Obviously he didn’t mean it the way it came out.
The only movement from him was a slight tightening of his fingers and it took me a moment longer to realize he still hadn’t corrected himself. Against my better judgment, I turned to face him, letting his hands fall away from my waist.
“You don’t stop to think about how something sounds before you say it,” I said, shaking my head as he looked anywhere but at my face. One hand lifted to rub at the back of his neck as he glanced up through his lashes. I recognized the action and my mind immediately went back to the morning in the kitchen when he asked me to move in with him. “You’re not… I mean…” I stuttered for a second before blowing out a breath. He still wasn’t speaking. “Is this your way of asking me to marry you?” I finally blurted out the words, shocked I could get them out at all.
I waited for his eyes to widen or for him to laugh at my conclusion but he lifted a shoulder in the same nervous shrug. “Yes. No. I
don’t know. Maybe?” He sighed and even in the dark, I could see the uncertainty in his expression.
“Don’t you think that’s the kind of thing you should know before you… ask?”
“I hadn’t thought about it. I didn’t come out here planning to say that, it just came out.” He scrubbed both hands through his hair for a moment before looking back at me again. “I meant it though.”
“I don’t even know what that means.”
He groaned, shaking his head. “It means…” he started, but then he stopped himself. He looked down, meeting my eyes before he stepped closer. He half-sat, half-leaned against the edge of the boat before reaching for me. I allowed him to pull me closer, standing between his knees as he stared at every part of my face before his gaze found mine again. “I didn’t come out here with a ring and a thought that I was going to ask you to be my wife. I never saw myself getting married again. I didn’t think it was important. It’s a piece of paper and I never planned to let anyone close enough to me to want that again. But when I said you should take my name, I don’t know, I could see it. It felt right. I didn’t think I’d want that but… ” he paused, raising one hand to cup my cheek, “I don’t want to face a life without you, Lili. You belong beside me. We’re two parts of the same soul. I know you feel it, too.”
I didn’t realize I’d stopped breathing until a shaky huff of air escaped. My fingers lifted to cover my mouth as I tried to regain my scattered thoughts enough to speak.
“I don’t want an answer. Not here. Not now. There are things you need to know — things we have to deal with together — but, someday.”
