by Maegan Abel
Swallowing back a sob, I let the contentment I felt chase away my anxiety and leaned in, pressing my forehead against his. I’d never been able to deny my connection to Zane but hearing him say he wanted a forever with me felt better than I could’ve imagined.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked and he nodded slowly. “This thing, this part of you that you feel makes you so unlovable, is it something from your past?” His only response was another wary nod. I could see in his eyes I was pushing him into an area he didn’t want to go. I had to tread lightly. “Okay, so if our roles were reversed, and whatever it is that you have to tell me was my big secret and I told you, would you still love me?”
He looked taken back by my question, like he’d never considered it before. His mouth opened and closed twice but he didn’t seem able to answer.
“I don’t think there’s anything you could tell me about you that would make me stop loving you, Zane. Please remember that.” Just as I leaned in to seal my lips to his, the phone in my pocket sprang to life and the reality of the day slammed into me with the force of a speeding truck.
Hearing Zane’s sigh, I glanced over my shoulder. He was sitting with his forearms resting on his knees, his hair still wind-blown from our day and his skin a bit darker from the sun. His eyes held the worry I didn’t want to see as he watched me so I turned, resuming my pacing along the length of the aisle where we sat.
We’d been the last to arrive at the courthouse once the call had come in but like most things in life, we were back to hurry up and wait. On the way back into the city, I’d wavered on whether or not I actually wanted to be here. Zane, patient as ever, told me we could leave any time. Now that we were here, still waiting, I was beginning to wonder if the entire call had been a cruel joke.
The only other people in the room were Brooke’s parents and Hunter’s family. His brothers, after the arrest, had kept their distance from Zane but it hadn’t stopped them from making a few snide remarks when I’d entered the courtroom. Their mother put them in their place. When she met my eyes, the look I saw made me wonder if she’d come to watch the tape yesterday. Did she know now what a monster her son really was?
As a parent, what could you do with that kind of information?
The only people called were those immediately involved with the event. I called Denni and Kaitlyn but, against their protesting, asked them to stay away. The media was here, they had been the whole time, waiting to hear the verdict of the “Golden Boy of Gymnastics”.
That shit made me sick to my stomach.
The last thing I wanted was to see my parents again but Denni assured me that she would keep them at home. I was supposed to go by and see them all after the verdict was issued. Regardless of what was said, that was the last place I wanted to go.
I froze in my pacing when the side door to the room opened. Two officers led Hunter through and the sight of him in a suit, his eyes downcast as he walked, made me wonder if he felt remorse. Was it possible? Was a monster like that, full of lies and deceit, capable of such an emotion?
I remembered what it felt like sitting on that witness stand, meeting Hunter’s eyes for the first time in years. Nothing, no pep-talks or strength, can prepare you to see your attacker again.
His gaze lifted slightly, pinning me in place as if he knew exactly where I was in the room. The corner of one lip curled up just slightly and the hollow look in his eyes was replaced by something much, much darker; something malicious that sent a shudder through my body.
The feel of Zane’s hand on my hip as he pulled me to him, helping me sit beside him on the bench, grounded me. I averted my eyes from Hunter, turning toward Zane as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. It was an act of support and I knew it wasn’t to help hold me together, but to remind me he was there.
Once Hunter was in place, the judge entered. He explained that the foreman of the jury would hand over the verdict sheet to him and he would read the verdict for each charge aloud, followed by the jury’s suggested sentence. He warned us that the jury had been in deliberations for quite some time and at one point, were brought back into the courtroom because they weren’t certain they’d be able to come to a unanimous decision. Hunter didn’t show any reaction that I could see but his family seemed to find it encouraging news.
My heart felt sluggish in my chest.
Once the jury was in place, Zane reached across his body with his free hand, steadying the fingers that I hadn’t realized were aimlessly fidgeting. I just needed this to be over, but I wasn’t sure I could handle being here. Was it too late to leave? Did I really want to leave?
“Has the jury reached a verdict?” The judge finally asked after court was in session once again.
“We have, Your Honor,” a man’s voice said. The bailiff walked over, taking an envelope of papers from the man before heading back toward the judge.
For the first time, I noticed almost every one of the twelve jurors were crying. Some could barely control sobs while others had silent tears streaming down their cheeks. I felt for them. It couldn’t be easy. Watching the horrors of someone else’s life and having to make decisions that would affect everyone involved would no doubt leave scars on these people’s lives as well.
“On the charge of aggravated sexual assault of a minor in the case of Kylee Asher Camden, the jury finds the defendant guilty.”
I heard the words but it took a moment for them to register. The two mothers in the gallery, both Hunter’s and Brooke’s, sobbed from their opposite sides. Zane let out a relived breath beside me. But I was still stuck, unable to process the words that were spoken.
Guilty.
Hunter was found guilty.
I won.
Some part of me had been so sure his money and stature would get him out of this that the shock of hearing the word had me unable to move.
“On the charge of aggravated sexual assault of a minor in the case of Brooke Danielle Hansen, the jury finds the defendant not guilty.”
My heart, which had finally started beating again, broke at the horrified sound that came from the direction of Brooke’s parents.
“On the final charge of manslaughter in the death of Brooke Danielle Hansen, the jury finds the defendant not guilty.”
The sobs were the only thing heard in the room for several moments when the judge finished speaking. Both the relief of Hunter’s family and the devastation of Brooke’s surround me, pricking at my resolve to stay silent until I was away from these people.
I couldn’t break down. Not here.
Once the room quieted down a little, the judge continued. “On the guilty charge for aggravated sexual assault of a minor, the jury recommends a sentence of five years, less the time already served.”
My blood ran cold. I couldn’t breathe. Five years? How long had it been since he was arrested? Two? Two and a half? I couldn’t remember. I felt eyes on me and when I looked up, Hunter was sitting with his head half turned, watching me from the corner of his eye. His mouth held that same malevolent smile he’d had when he walked in the room.
I didn’t hear what else was said. I didn’t remember the walk out of the courtroom or to the elevators. It wasn’t until the doors closed, leaving Zane and I alone in the small enclosure, that I even remembered he was with me. He gripped my face in both hands, his eyes wildly flipping back and forth between mine.
Words. He was saying something to me. I dropped my gaze to his lips, trying to focus my ears enough to hear something other than the rush of blood as my heart struck my chest in an almost painful way.
Too fast.
It was all too fast.
My heartbeat. Zane’s words. It was all coming in a rush.
“Pixie.”
I finally heard him and I blinked back up at the word, finding his eyes.
“Lili, please. Fuck.” He dropped his forehead to mine, his eyes closing as the chime sounded, signaling our arrival on the bottom floor.
Zane blew out a breath, taking my hand
as he led me out of the elevators. Once we rounded the corner, we’d be in view of the front doors. As empty as this building was this late at night, I knew the reporters were out there. I knew they were waiting.
Pausing at the end of the hallway, Zane turned back to me. “It’s gonna be okay. I promise. We just have to get back to the room.” He brushed his fingers over my forehead and I realized I was sweating.
He wrapped his arm around my shoulders before pulling me around the corner and to the tunnel leading out. I did my best to ignore the shouted questions and the nearly blinding flashes of the cameras in the dark night as Zane led me toward the street. A few of the photographers followed us but I couldn’t focus on the path that Zane took. It was all I could do to keep moving one foot in front of the other.
Eventually, I recognized the motel and followed Zane up the stairs. He kept his hold, doing everything with one hand as he unlocked the door and bolted it behind us. He pulled me forward, helping me to sit on the foot of one of the beds while he moved around the room. He was either mumbling under his breath or I was back to not being able to hear his words.
I finally found the connection to my mouth. “I’m okay.” Zane’s head whipped around at my words. I nodded, realizing the words were more to convince myself than him. “I’m okay.”
“Thank fuck,” he said, taking the few steps to stand in front of me. He dropped to his knees, wrapping his arms around my waist as his head rested in my lap. I could feel his relief and I let it help ease me into the contentment of the moment as I ran my fingers through his hair.
Things might not be perfect, but it was over.
“Is this a joke?” Lili hissed at me, clearly not wanting to draw attention to where we stood in the short line for airport security. I’d hoped she wouldn’t notice the seat numbers until later but I should’ve known better.
“Is what a joke?” I played dumb, glancing back at her as I toed off my shoes and put them in one of the square, plastic containers. I’d already stuffed my phone and wallet in the side compartment of my bag so I took Lili’s duffle from her, setting it on the conveyer while she kicked off her flats.
“First Class, Zane?” She gave me a pointed look. I shrugged, moving to the yellow line to wait my turn to be scanned.
I had my shoes on by the time Lili stomped over to the bench at the end. “You’d think these motherfuckers had never seen fucking hair clips,” she huffed as she dropped her duffle, shoving the little metal clips back into her hair to hold it out of her face. I couldn’t hide my smile, though I tried. “You’re such an asshat.”
Leaning over, I kissed her on the forehead and picked up her bag, pulling the strap over my shoulder. “You’ve used that one already.”
The look she leveled me as she shoved her feet into her shoes could have melted glass. I felt my lips twitch as I once again fought my smile. “Are you seriously challenging the creativity of my insults? You do realize it’s three o’clock in the fucking morning, don’t you?”
Holding up both hands in surrender, I took a tentative step toward her. Her only response was a narrowing of her eyes but I could see she wasn’t too angry. I reached out, wrapping both arms around her and pulling her almost roughly against my body. There were very few people in the airport this time of morning so I knew the TSA agents were probably watching us closely. I leaned in, pressing my lips lightly to hers. “I’m not the challenging one.”
Stepping back, she raised an eyebrow. I held out my hand and she took it, letting me lead her once again toward our terminal.
“Dick bag.” She jabbed me in the side before dancing over a few steps, putting herself just out of my reach.
“Dick bag?” I asked through a laugh. “What is that, like a banana hammock?” I lunged and reached for her again but she backed away. She walked backwards down the wide hallway, grinning in a way that made me ache inside. I hadn’t realized just how long it had been since I’d really seen her happy.
My Lili might finally be returning.
She shrugged at my question, still walking backwards. “That’s one way to look at it.”
I shook my head, waiting until she wasn’t expecting it before I jumped, catching both of her hands and holding tight. Spinning her, I used my arms to lock us together as we walked. She was laughing as I attempted to keep my feet on the outside of hers so we didn’t trip.
“I love the sound of your laugh,” I whispered in her ear as I pulled her over to the hard, plastic seats at our gate. We still had about thirty minutes before our flight and I knew she was exhausted. Plopping down, I didn’t release her, pulling her into my lap instead.
Leaning her head into my shoulder, she pressed a kiss against my collarbone. “Well, maybe I just love you.”
“I know.”
I was rewarded with the sound of her laughter again as she turned so she could see my face. “You know? What, you think you’re Han Solo?”
“Actually, I can’t believe you got a Star Wars reference. And I’d make a fucking awesome Han.”
She reached up and patted my cheek, the gesture clearly placating. “Sure you would.” I grabbed her hand, pulling it to my mouth as I stuck out my tongue like I was going to lick it. “Ew. Stop! Zane, let go!” she yelled, squealing when I made contact with her palm. From the corner of my eye, I saw the security guard stop to watch us. Lili snorted a laugh and slid from my lap, curling into my side as we watched him continue on his path.
“Your mouth is going to get us arrested,” I said, kissing the top of her head as she looked up at me, stifling a yawn.
“Most likely, but it won’t be for that.” She ran her nails along the denim of my jeans, following the seam up the inside of my thigh.
Inhaling sharply, I caught her hand, pulling her fingers up to kiss them. “Don’t start something you can’t finish.” I kissed her fingers, fighting uselessly against my body’s reaction to her.
“Who says I can’t?” She sat up, glancing around like she was looking for something specific.
“Quit. You’re exhausted and I really don’t want to spend any more time in police custody in this state.”
I felt her quiet laugh as she curled back into my side and I was grateful we were at a point where we could joke about things again. It seemed the more time passed, the more comfortable she became.
When the shock of the verdict had finally worn off, Lili and I had talked through everything that happened at the courthouse. I told her the formal sentencing would take place in a few weeks. She decided she wanted to go home as soon as we could. While she showered, I booked our plane tickets. I managed — with the help of Denni — to find two first class seats on a red eye from Austin to Vegas. While Denni was sad that Lili and I were leaving, she was hopeful that, with time, the relationship between her and her niece could be rebuilt.
After packing and showering myself, Lili and I curled up on one of the beds, relaxing but not really sleeping until it was time to head to the airport and drop off the rental car. We’d both been awake for about twenty hours and I was hoping the second we were in the air, she’d feel safe enough to sleep.
“Do you need anything?” the flight attendant asked in a whisper. I blinked up at her, my eyes crossing as I looked away from the screen of my iPad. Lili was asleep, curled almost halfway over the large armrest separating our seats, both arms wrapped around one of mine as she used my shoulder as a pillow. My fingers trailed absently along her leg where my hand rested, enjoying the normalcy of the moment.
“Coffee. Strong coffee,” I requested quietly, giving a half-hearted grin to the girl as she looked between Lili and myself.
“Of course,” she said, nodding before walking away.
I set my iPad on my knee, using my free hand to wipe at my eyes. I had to blink a few times to refocus my contacts and I realized I should’ve taken them out before we came to the airport. I glanced at Lili, wondering if I could reach my glasses case without disturbing her.
Carefully, I stretched my leg, attempt
ing to hook the strap of my bag with the toe of my shoe. Once I’d kicked it into the aisle, I leaned down, stretching my fingers to reach for the case in the front pocket. The flight attendant returned as I was grasping for the zipper. I froze when Lili stirred, looking back over to make sure she stayed asleep.
“Allow me,” the flight attendant said, lifting the bag up to my lap so I could get what I needed. When I pulled the zipper closed, she stuck the bag at my feet, allowing me to push it back under the seat in front of me.
“Thank you…” I paused, glancing at her nametag, “Natalie.”
She smiled and nodded before turning to retrieve the coffee she’d set at the empty seat behind me. She lowered the tray from the seat in front of me and placed the coffee there before glancing between Lili and me again.
“You know, you can sleep. We’ll make sure you’re awake. I promise we won’t take you to Tokyo,” she said, her teasing smile making me relax a little more. I glanced at Lili, still too worried to sleep.
“I know I could, but…” I trailed off, not really sure how to explain it to a complete stranger.
“You want to be awake in case she has nightmares,” she whispered. My eyes swung to hers, catching the look of contrition there. “I recognize her from the news.”
I blew out a heavy breath, having not considered this before. “I just need to make sure she’s okay until I get her home,” I answered honestly. Would it always be this way? People recognizing her? People staring as they tried to analyze her every move? Probably not, but it might be for a while. Surely the media would move on to something else soon. It wasn’t going to blow up into something huge. It was more Hunter they were talking about before I left Vegas than Lili.
“I grew up in Austin so I remember seeing it on the news when I was in high school.” I looked over at her, confused. “When she disappeared. It was all over the news then.” I nodded, not sure what else to do. “I’ll leave you be. Just let me know if you need anything.”
