Providence: On Angels' Wings

by Lauren Wynn

  I lace up my Nikes and put a black and green windbreaker on over my green T-shirt, Providence’s favorite, the retro Cascade dish-detergent one. I don’t really need the windbreaker, but it’s the only thing I have to wear with an inside pocket that is suitable for the warmer April weather. A suit would be more appropriate tonight, given the occasion, but I don’t want to tip her off. Plus, she asked me earlier if we could take a walk tonight up to our spot in the park since it’s supposed to be nice out, so I need to dress appropriately. It’s a perfect coincidence that she wants to go to the overlook and watch the planes take off and land at the airport since the one she’s been circling in is finally going to be landing tonight.

  My black slip-on shoe seems to glisten as though the faint light of the room is drawn to it. I bend down and tip it back. The white-leather box slides to the heel. I scoop it out and pry the box open, tilting it backward and forward. The diamonds sparkle in the light shining in through the hole in the window. I snap the box shut and zip it in the inside pocket of my jacket. I pat my chest and look down at the rather obvious bulge. So, I move it to the side zip pocket and will just have to keep Providence’s roving hands away.

  Humming the Rocky tune, I jog in place for a moment and cock my head from side to side.

  All right, let’s do this.

  I close my eyes and move to Providence’s room. She is singing in the bathroom and from the occasional drawn-out melody I can tell she has almost finished with her makeup. Mascara is the last step in her beauty regimen and for whatever reason, when she applies it, she opens her mouth as wide as her eyes, thereby causing the drawn-out melody.

  She kicks up her heels on her way into the bedroom, stopping at her dresser to put on her earrings and “p” necklace, which lies flat against her chest just above the neckline of her sleeveless white-silk, flowy blouse. Since she doesn’t seem to sense my presence yet, I move behind her and wrap my golden glowing arms around her, resting my chin on her head. The scent of her strawberry shampoo fills my nose. I look in the mirror and all I see is her. My reflection doesn’t show in this form. A smile stretches across her face as she closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath. Warmth spreads throughout her body even though I didn’t give her any light. As she opens her eyes, I move to her side, thinking by now she knows it’s me, but instead she jerks her head back in my direction.

  Did the lights just dim or was that a shadow? She wonders.

  I move away from the lamp around to her other side.

  Well…that was strange.

  I brush my golden lips across hers. Sensing a tickle on her lips she rubs her finger across them.

  Aha! Zan…

  She stands still and closes her eyes, she lifts her chin slightly, and puckers her lips waiting for another kiss.

  Taking both of her hands, I lean in and press my lips to hers and transform, feeling my figure fill the empty space in her hands. A breath catches in her throat and a moan escapes her mouth, but she continues kissing me.

  “That was pretty cool,” she whispers.

  “Yeah?”

  “Uh huh.” She leans back in to kiss me. I transform back leaving her lips feeling untouched and her hands empty. She peeks one eye open, but doesn’t move a muscle. I move my hands to her hips and my lips to her neck. When she closes her eye, I reappear.

  “Stay,” she says in a breathy voice.

  I pick her up and hug her. “How was your day?”

  “Good…better now.” She tucks her head in the crook of my neck and smells my skin.

  “Ready for that walk?”

  “Yeah.” She takes my hand as we walk down toward the front door. “I was wondering if you heard me ask you that.” I nod.

  “I’ve got something to show you…” I pull my license out of my back pocket and hand it to her.

  “Yay! Your picture showed up. Oh, this is so exciting.” I laugh. “Ooh, wait, I have to get something…” She runs to her bedroom and comes back with a small, thin, rectangular box. “This is for you,” she shouts with excitement.

  “Providence, why did you get me a present?”

  “Because you need it. Open it, open it.”

  “Did you buy it off the television?” I smirk, ripping off the red bow decorating the top.

  She nudges me with her elbow. “Noo. I bought it when I was at the mall with Lily and Taylor earlier this week,” the night I was visiting with her father.

  I tear the brown wrapping paper off and open the small box. Inside is a black-leather wallet.

  “Providence, it’s perfect.” I lean down and kiss her.

  “Now you don’t have to keep this in your back pocket.”

  “Thank you.” I flip open two of the three sections. There is one dollar in the bill section. “Providence…” I hold the dollar up to her.

  “My mom told me you should never give someone an empty wallet. Oh…and here.” She slides my license behind the section with the clear-plastic window.

  “I’m not taking your money, Prov.”

  She tugs on my arm, pulling me out the front door. “It’s not my money, it’s our money.”

  “Well…thank you. This is my first dollar, you know.” She wraps her arm around my waist and squeezes. I kiss the crown of her head and slip the wallet in my back pocket. I discretely shift the ring box away from where her hand rests.

  “I’ll be your sugar mama.” She winks.

  I cup my palms on her cheeks and lightly kiss her. “That won’t be necessary. I get my first paycheck next week.”

  She skips up the hill a little way, singing, “We’re in the money…”

  We climb the rest of the way up the hill, listening to the birds chirp. We round the corner onto the street with the grand homes. The grass is deep green from all of the rain. Daffodils and tulips are blooming in bright yellows, pure whites, deep reds, and oranges, and leaves are beginning to pop out on bushes and trees. The faint scent of honeysuckle stirs in the air.

  “Are you excited about starting school soon?”

  “A little freaked out, actually. It has been six years since I have been in school. What if I forget how to study?”

  “You won’t. Once you get into a groove, you’ll do great. Keep it fun. And remember, it’s not about the grade you achieve, it’s about how much you have learned.”

  “Easy for you to say. You know everything.” She rolls her eyes.

  “I don’t know everything.” I smile. “Besides, I spent loads of time studying this place and learning everything I could. I’ve had a tad more time than you.”

  “That’s a little creepy when you think about it. I mean you’re not creepy, but the fact that you’ve been around for like a million years is creepy.”

  “Hmm…when you put it that way...” I chuckle. “So…I’ll help you with history.”

  “Well, in that case, let’s start with yours. You really had to study?”

  “Yes,” I pause, “So, here is the easiest way to think about it. For one, what I am now is what I was created to be. Angels don’t have the learning curve that humans do.” Her nose crinkles with question. “In other words, we don’t have a lifecycle like you. I was never an infant, or a child. I never had to learn to crawl before I could walk. I have always been like this.”

  She opens her mouth to speak, but stops to form her thought. I gaze around as we pass through the tall, gray, stone pillars at the entrance to the park and hike up the hill.

  “So basically you were created as an adult with a mind capable of unlimited comprehension, hence the reason you don’t have a belly button.”

  “Uh, essentially, yes. But there is another piece. I have had a very long time to learn. You know…on the first day there was light and darkness, evening and morning. The second day there was water and sky, and so on. I had less to catch up on, I learned from day one. Time is a different concept there and physical human needs, like sleep, don’t exist. There was certainly more to learn as the population grew, new concepts, new languages, and new
technologies. But once they told me where my assignment was, I focused my studies here.”

  “Wow! A long time, less to catch up on…Zan, you didn’t have anything to catch up on.” She jogs ahead to the overlook. “That’s crazy. So did you purposefully study law there?” She takes a seat on the cement bench carved into the hillside.

  “Purposefully, yes. Although, not with the intent to become an attorney. I wanted to understand the ethics behind the laws. I studied science quite a bit too—physics, biology.”

  “Anatomy?” She giggles and pulls me down beside her.

  I laugh. “That too.” I pause, turning to face her. “Although, I have to say, most of my learning on that subject has been recent.” I curl her hair around my finger and rub up and down on her back.

  She blushes. “Hands-on training.” She intertwines our fingers resting them in my lap and gives me a slow kiss until her heart jumps. “Zan…have you ever had another girlfriend?”

  “No, I met you the second day I came here. That didn’t give me much time for dating.” I raise my eyebrows and grin.

  “But you didn’t know me then and that’s not exactly what I meant.” She scoots back, leaning against the warm cement and stares straight ahead to the airport. “I meant before you came here,” she whispers.

  I place my hand on hers. “No. Friends I cared for, but the type of relationship you’re referring to doesn’t exist there.” I tuck her hair behind her ear.

  She sighs. “I had a feeling you’d say that, and that makes this even harder.” Her voice slowly softens to a whisper and she pulls her hand away.

  “Providence, you don’t need to explain—”

  She interrupts me. “But I do. You should know. I’m scared to tell you. Please don’t be mad at me.” She drops her head and fumbles her hands in her lap. “I’ve had boyfriends.”

  “Why would I be mad at you for that?”

  “Because I don’t exactly have the purest history.” She stands up crossing her arms and walks through the grass toward the drop in the hillside. I follow her and drape my arms over her shoulders, and lean my chest against her back. “I was stupid and made mistakes. I shouldn’t have, and I know it’s no excuse, but I didn’t know you then. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kept this from you.” She holds my hands and rubs the ridges on my thumbnail, examining them in great detail.

  It’s a dangerous path, I know, but I can’t help but wonder how I compare, so I am going to avoid it. I know how she feels about me. I know how I make her feel and that has to be assurance enough for me.

  “I wish I had all my firsts with you.”

  “You still have firsts left for me.” She spins around with my arms still draped over her. I raise an eyebrow and wink again.

  “You know I’m a vir...” Her face turns bright red and her stomach flips.

  “Taylor alluded to it the morning she picked you up from my place.”

  “Oh, I forgot you heard that conversation.” She squints and looks up at me. “You’re not mad, about the other stuff, I mean?”

  I shake my head no. “What’s done is done and I’m certainly not going to hold your past against you. That’s between you and God.” She lets out a breath. “And if you remember, we have had a few moments of…uh…weakness.”

  She bites her lip recalling the car wash. “I would have made different choices if I had known about you.” Providence walks back to the bench and sits Indian-style, angled slightly. She pats the spot next to her. I take a seat and place my palm on the small of her back. “After my mom passed, my dad preferred dealing with his grief alone. I had Lily and Taylor. They basically lived with me for months afterward, but I struggled. Mom and I were so close, I just craved that closeness with someone, and Dad isolated himself more and more. I guess boyfriends just filled that void. I think things would have been different if Mom had still been here.”

  “Things would have been different. And I probably wouldn’t have been assigned to you.”

  “I never thought of that.”

  “Everything, every choice in your past has lead to where you are today.”

  “I like where I am today.” She lays her hands on my thigh and leans her head on my shoulder. I tip mine to hers.

  “Me too. No worries about your past.”

  “It led me to you.” Her tone shifts to something more cheery.

  “And for that, I am eternally grateful.”

  Providence throws her legs over mine and curls up next to me. We sit for a while, leaning against each other and watch the sunset. The cloudless sky slowly changes from a deep blue to a raspberry pink and light orange, like rainbow sorbet. The wind blows a warm breeze stirring Providence’s hair and the scent of strawberry circles me. The weight that was on her shoulders earlier has now been lifted. Her heart beats steadily and she rests relaxed without a worry on her mind.

  “This is nice. Really nice.”

  Since the moment does seem so perfect, I debate for a second whether I should just propose now. I glance around me and notice we are not the only couple enjoying the warm April evening at this scenic overlook and decide to stick with my original plan, which is considerably more unique. I don’t want to waste a perfectly great moment, though, so I scoop her up onto my lap and kiss her.

  “I love you.” Her eyes sparkle with intensity as if I’m sneaking a peek into her heart’s refuge.

  “I love you,” she declares, before giving me Eskimo kisses.

  She remains curled up in my lap until darkness falls and the stars begin to twinkle in the night’s sky. The wind gusts over the hilltop chilling the air, and we decide to begin our trek back to Providence’s home. I clutch her hand in mine as we stroll down the hill, through the stone pillars at the park’s entrance, and hike up the long, winding road.

  Suddenly, bright headlights illuminate the trees lining the road. A small, gray sedan rounds the curve, leaping over the hill, airborne, yards from where we stand. Blinded by the lights, Providence blinks, rapidly attempting to remove the spots that cloud her vision. I throw my arm in front of her grasping her side, lifting her off the ground, and toss her backward into the slice of grassy ditch between the pebbly asphalt road and the woods. I expect to sense her body jolt from the impact of landing on the ground, but it doesn’t come. Feeling her fast heart beat and hearing her breathe, I don’t look back. Instead, I plant my feet firmly on the road and bend down to prevent the car from crashing into the woods where I just threw Providence. The tires screech and the front bumper rams into my thigh, the force slides me back a few feet. My wings unfurl, balancing my weight as I place my hands around the wheel well and shove the car back into the street, at least enough for the driver to right it before speeding down the hill in the middle of the road.

  The breath from Providence’s gasp is caught in her throat. I teeter at the edge of the road staring at the back of the car, waiting for brake lights, but the driver doesn’t stop. My inclination is to make sure the drive is all right, but instead I’m relieved. I have absolutely zero interest in explaining the whole wing thing.

  An odd warmth spreads throughout Providence’s body, steadying her labored breathing, and I spin around, uneasy. Gabriel. The reason I didn’t feel her fall was because Gabriel slid to the ground and caught her before she landed. She sits propped against his body and his arm crosses over her chest, gripping her shoulder to prevent her from moving. Golden light passes from his hand to her shoulder. He simply nods at me and vanishes. Providence falls back without his support, she wheezes, and her entire body begins shaking. I race over to her, tucking in my wings. I drop to the ground and wrap my arms securely around her.

  “Are you all right?” I rock her.

  She nods once, still shaking.

  “I’m so sorry I threw you.” I wipe her hair away from her face.

  “Wh…o… oo was th…at?” she stutters.

  “Gabriel.”

  She chokes on a breath. “H…e would…n’t let me g…go. I started to panic, but he jus
t held me tighter. He wouldn’t even let me turn to see him. And then…”—she inhales deeply—“that car hit you. Oh my gosh! Are you all right?”

  “Yeah. Are you certain you’re not hurt, your leg, arm, anything?” I run my hands along her arms and leg, her face. I don’t feel any bruises or pain. “It’s all right,” I whisper and her shaking settles, but only for an instant.

  Gabriel! “Did he come for you? Oh my gosh! He can’t take you yet. It’s not time. We’re not ready. I’m not ready.”

  “Shh, shh, shh. Prov, he’s not here for me. It’s okay.” I try to sound convincing.

  The fact of the matter is he absolutely may have come for me. He may have been watching us all evening just waiting for me to slip up. But I don’t dare tell her that. The look on his face, the glimmer in his eyes moments before he vanished was not anger or disappointment in me. Rather, it was pleasing and caring in a protective sort of way. Hopefully, preventing that car from crashing bought me a little more time. I’ll pull a Summer and cross my fingers.

  “Are you okay to walk because I can carry you?” She nods. I rise to my feet and extend a hand. “Here, let me help you up.” She stares at my jeans as I pull her up.

  “Zan, are you sure you’re all right? Look at your pants?”

  I glance down and notice there is a tear just above the knee. “Crap. I really liked these jeans.”

  “Zan, I’m serious.”

  “Me too. These are my favorite jeans.” She scowls at me. “Providence, look, no blood.” I hold up my knee. “I’m good.” She steps in front of me. “You…on the other hand…” I brush the dirt and leaves off her rear. “I really am sorry I tossed you.” I curl my arm around her waist and kiss the top of her head.

  “You saved me.” She smiles, looking up at me.

  “What kind of angel would I be if I hadn’t?”

  She rubs her fingers along my upper back.

  “Your wings didn’t even rip your shirt.”

  “One of His many wonders. Unfortunately He can’t fix the damage that bumper did to my jeans.”