by Laura Acton
In the silence of the night, Brody whispered to him. “Yes, Danny. Open your heart and listen to the music. You are not forsaken. You’re not alone. Solace awaits you if you seek the beauty of life. She’s out there, I promise you.”
Keep reading for a sneak peek
at Laura Acton’s second novel
in the Beauty of Life Series
Sneak Peek:
Solace
Behind the Shield
After six years in Special Forces, former Master Corporal Dan Broderick is seeking to rebuild his professional and personal lives following several tragic losses. Making the transition from elite Soldier to urban Constable and learning to trust again are difficult for Dan. Experience has shown him everyone he cares about is ultimately taken from him.
His teammates, each in their own way, are reaching out to Dan. Will he accept their overtures or continue hiding his battered heart and wounded soul behind his shields?
Will Alpha Team recognize they all hide behind shields and succeed as they try to earn Dan’s trust and help him accept he belongs? Will events in the rough and tumble world of the Tactical Response Force assist or prevent them from making a connection with the rookie?
October 25
TRF HQ – Gym – 6:30 a.m.
Constable Lexa McKenna ran on the treadmill at a grueling pace in pursuit of coming to terms with what Alpha Team had done. They hurt and drove away their newest teammate with resentment and inconsiderate actions. Glancing at the clock, she noted it was now six thirty and Dan had not shown. In the past three months, their ruggedly handsome rookie always came in early. At five o’clock when they arrived, he was already here and punching the hell out of the heavy bag. But now he was not here, and they were to blame.
As Lexa’s petite, five-foot-two frame pounded the thread relentlessly, to keep up her pace, she glanced over at Boss working out on the elliptical machine. Their sergeant appeared weary as he wiped the sweat from his brow. It might be her imagination, but more of his dark brown hair turned white at the temples in the last few months.
Her keen, hazel eyes scanned her teammates assessing them. Loki appeared distracted and upset—the team’s techie and bomb expert was easy to read. Both Bram and Ray wore composite expressions, a mixture of sad and angry as they lifted weights. Jon appeared ticked off, but she acknowledged the tactical lead’s anger was directed at himself, not Dan. Lexa couldn’t believe all of them acted in such an atrocious manner and she didn’t blame Dan one damned bit for not giving them a second chance.
She only hoped for his sake he would heal—that he could recover. Being the one to kill his best friend in a friendly fire incident shattered Dan’s heart and scarred his soul. The visualization of his pain five days ago made the team realize the additional damage they inflicted with their casual indifference and sometimes vindictive behavior. Dan appeared broken after telling them why he left Special Forces.
Lexa worried they might’ve pushed Dan off the edge and into oblivion. They all seriously messed up, and she hoped to start making amends today. As a peace offering and a form of apology, she baked Dan cookies, but she may never get a chance to give them to him. Increasing the treadmill’s speed, she felt the burn of her muscles which helped quiet her self-loathing thoughts.
Loki pedaled slowly on the stationary bike, not giving his workout proper attention, only going through the motions this morning. His eyes kept glancing towards the door with a view to the locker room entrance.
Apprehensive, he hoped Dan was only running late and would arrive soon. The daily pre-shift workout was technically not the start of their workday, participation although not mandated was expected by Jon. So, Loki held out hope Dan only decided not to work out with them, and he would be here when shift officially started at seven.
However, the closer it came to seven, the unhappier Loki became, as he got the gut feeling Dan planned on leaving the team. Boss said Dan might not show up today. If Dan didn’t come in and decided instead to quit TRF, Loki realized he must come to terms with the fact his actions harmed another person. He desperately wanted to make things right, to offer friendship, and learn about the real Dan, the man behind the stoic, soldier mask.
“Loki, your Ma’s on the phone. You can take the call at my desk,” TRF dispatcher, Tia Walsh, said as she passed the gym on her way to the records room to get a file for Bravo Team.
Hopping off the bike, Loki grabbed a towel, wiped his sweaty face, and trotted over to Tia’s desk. He hoped everything was alright with his ma because she never called him at work except for emergencies.
TRF HQ – Dispatch Desk – 6:45 a.m.
Loki hung up and sighed as he stared at the phone. How am I going to confess to Ma? She will be so disappointed in me.
Tia returned from getting a report and noted Loki’s distressed expression. Ordinarily happy and humorous, his chestnut brown eyes held such sadness today. Loki, being such a decent and caring guy, it pained her to see him this upset. With genuine concern, she asked, “Everything okay with your ma?”
“Yeah. No. Yeah.”
Tia reached out a hand and placed it on Loki’s forearm. “What’s wrong?”
Loki took a deep breath and regarded Tia. His heart fluttered. Oh boy, Tia is so far out of my league—she is stunning. He often got tongue-tied when talking to her. He nervously raked one hand through his wavy, black hair. “Ma’s okay. She only wanted to tell me she is making lasagna tonight and suggested I invite Dan over for dinner.”
“And that’s a problem? I thought you all were starting to accept him.”
“It wouldn’t be … except Dan’s not here.” Loki raked the wayward lock of hair from his forehead again—it never stayed in place.
“He never misses a workout.” Tia’s expression became a mix of worry and tinge of anger. She liked Dan, he was a friendly guy, even if Boss’ team didn’t want him and treated him poorly. Dan shouldn’t be blamed for the way he got fast-tracked into TRF.
“He didn’t show this morning like normal. We hoped he would, but it appears we messed up too badly.”
Hearing the elevator door ping, Tia glanced towards the entrance of TFR headquarters and the object of their conversation stepped out. Surprised he took the lift, habitually he arrived via the stairs, she took the time to study him. He didn’t appear quite so pale and gaunt today. As the golden-blond haired hunk of a man approached her, Tia smiled and greeted him warmly. “Morning, Dan. Missed you around here the last couple of days.”
Dan noted Tia behind her desk. Always kind to him, he made an effort to give her a small smile, though it didn’t reflect in his eyes. “Morning, Tia. Is the commander in?”
“Not yet, but he should be in by seven.”
Loki turned when Tia greeted Dan. Instead of his regular workout apparel, the rookie was dressed in faded jeans, a long-sleeve hunter green pull-over, and running shoes. He noted Dan was not carrying his go bag. Loki feared the worst—Dan is quitting.
Wait, no that wasn’t his worst fear. The worst one put to rest with Dan standing here. He feared they pushed Dan too far and he fell off the edge of the cliff. That factor alone nagged at Loki over the past five days.
After a quick visual inspection, Loki noted the dark smudges under Dan’s eyes weren’t as noticeable, nor his face as pallid and drawn. He was still far from healthy looking, but at least he didn’t have the same death-warmed-over appearance he possessed several days ago.
Loki brightened up thinking he might still be able to right his wrong. “Morning, Dan. Hey, I wanted to ask you something. Ma’s making lasagna tonight and I want to invite you to dinner.”
Dan blinked. What? Why would Loki want me to have dinner with him? He answered in a monotone, “Thanks, but I have other plans.”
Loki’s face fell a little. What did I expect? Dan to immediately jump at the chance to dine with someone who treated him like crap. An optimist, he tried again. “You sure? My ma makes the best lasagna. She’s also making fresh bread. It’s to
die for.” Loki cringed. What a stupid euphemism to use.
Dan noted Loki’s low-spirited expression. Unlike him. But I do have plans. If the commander approves my transfer, I will be working.
“Okay. Another time. You heading in to gear up?” Loki assumed a friendly smile, and his face transformed showing hopefulness.
“No. I need to meet with Commander Gambrill. Excuse me.” Dan turned to Tia and said, “I’m going up to the roof. Would you text me when he arrives?”
Tia grinned. “Absolutely.”
TRF HQ – Commander Gambrill’s Office – 7:10 a.m.
Force of habit had Dan standing at rigid attention after he entered the commander’s office.
Walter Gambrill took a few moments to inspect his godson. There appeared to be a slight improvement. The hollows of his cheeks were not as pronounced, and some color returned to his complexion. The mandatory days of rest had been beneficial for him. “Please, sit down.”
Dan moved to parade rest instead of sitting. “I prefer to stand, sir.”
“What can I do for you?” Walter stifled a sigh at the rigidness exuding from Dan. Damn William and his quixotic method of raising Danny.
In a flat tone, Dan said, “Sir, I came to a decision. I would like to stay with the Tactical Response Force. However, I don’t think Alpha Team is the right fit. I am requesting a transfer to Echo Team, effective today. If you cannot grant my petition, I will submit my resignation.”
Surprised by Dan’s request, Walter considered his options. Walter believed if given a little more time, Sergeant Pastore would be able to set things right. Sergeant Winter is a decent man and excellent officer, but he didn’t possess the gifts necessary to give Dan what he needed.
Nick Pastore, an exceptional man, blessed with abilities to empathize had created a unique team. Dan needed the support Pastore’s team would give him. Walter was all too aware appearances could be deceiving, and although Dan gave the impression of being on the mend, he remained lost, his pain still evident in his eyes. He understood Dan craved a place to belong and to be surrounded by people who cared. Without the foundation the team could provide Dan, Walter remained fearful for Dan’s life.
He witnessed the tragic effect of Sara’s death on Dan. The nine-year-old boy became lost and shut down entirely when his little sister was killed in front of him. Afterwards, Dan dwelt for a decade in a self-constructed world of loneliness. According to Dan’s mother, Yvonne Broderick, the light in his eyes returned only after Dan met and befriended Brody Hunter in boot camp.
General William Broderick, Walter’s oldest and dearest friend and Dan’s father, entrusted him with Dan’s care during this bleak time. Walter understood ending Brody’s life devastated Dan. He worried his godson would return to self-imposed isolation … or worse.
Walter realized he must convince Dan to give them one more chance, certain Pastore and the rest would provide solace and help heal Dan’s emotional trauma. “I’ll give your request due consideration. It isn’t a change I want to make hastily. You realize, there will be times you’ll need to work with Alpha Team when multi-team incidents arise?”
“Yes, sir. That won’t be a problem. I am a professional, and I’m sure they can be professional too.”
“Tell me, why do you want to move to Winter’s team?”
Dan didn’t want to share his real reason. It would make him sound like a whiny brat. He couldn’t say because they don’t want me. “I believe Echo Team is a better fit. Sergeant Winter indicated he would like to have a seventh member and they also work the night shift.”
The last part seemed odd to Walter. “What does working nights have to do with this?”
Again, Dan couldn’t tell Gambrill his motives. The gloom of night allowed his fears to escape from his dreams and haunt him. He figured his nightmares would be less oppressive and easier to cope with when waking to the light of day. Dan offered a truth, but not the whole truth. “I’m well versed in working in the dark. Most of my missions were conducted under cover of darkness.”
Walter nodded. Then he threw a monkey wrench into Dan’s thinking process. “You do realize all teams rotate all of the shifts, right?”
Aw Crap! “No, sir. The team’s been on the same schedule for the past three months.”
“True, but that is an anomaly. We’ve had some scheduling issues lately preventing the standard rotation of schedules. In fact, in November, Alpha will be moving to the seven p.m. to seven a.m. shift and Winter’s Team will be taking over the day shift.”
“I see.” Crap, my only non-whiny argument nosedived and crashed.
Walter noted brief disappointment cross Dan’s face. “I’ll consider your transfer request thoroughly as I would for any of my officers. I’ll decide within two weeks. Does that sound fair?”
Unaccustomed to being asked if something was fair, Dan simply nodded. His godfather dealt with him without favor, which he respected, so decided to wait for his decision. Not like I have any other options at the moment.
Standing, Walter walked around his desk and placed a hand on Dan’s shoulder. “One more thing. You appear more rested, but I want you to take one more day to relax. I’ll inform Pastore that I ordered you to take the day off. We’ll expect you back here tomorrow.”
Coming to attention, Dan stated, “Yes, sir.” He did a crisp about-face and strode out of the office. Just what the heck am I going to do today?
TRF HQ – Near the Locker Room – 7:35 a.m.
Bram De Haven spotted Dan striding down the hall and jogged to catch up with him. “Hey, Dan, hold up.”
Dan stopped at Bram’s voice. The only team member to befriend him and live up to their motto, Bram would be the only member of Alpha Team Dan would miss if he transferred. As he waited for the huge man to come to a stop, Dan had a weird thought. If Bram had long hair, and carried a wooden shield and sword, he would resemble a Viking warrior. Though in reality, Bram’s light brown hair was a short buzz cut, and they carried guns and ballistic shields.
Bram grinned. “Missed you in workout, but the extra sleep seems like it did you good. You on your way to the lockers to change?”
“No. I’m heading out. Gambrill ordered me to take another day off.”
Catching sight of something in the intense blue eyes again, Bram tried to decipher the meaning. Dan’s feelings were always fleeting and easy to miss, but Bram discerned emotions ran deep behind the protective shields Dan erected to hide a severely wounded soul.
His deduction became undeniable when Dan broke down five days ago. Dan’s anguish over killing Brody poured out in buckets of tears as Bram held him. He glimpsed the man hidden behind a thick shield. Bram felt like the lowest of the low for not protecting Dan. All his fatherly instincts failed him previously, but he would not fail now.
Bram’s emotion began to rise, and he cleared his throat of the lump, so he didn’t sound like a frog when he spoke. “Dan, I’m very sorry I didn’t do more sooner. I’m sorry we treated you so shabbily and made you feel unwelcome. I apologize for not stopping Jon’s tirades and attitude.”
Dan let a small harrumph escape before he caustically said, “His rants are tame compared to some of my COs, and he has nothing on General Broderick. The general can slice you open with a few choice words and his cold eyes. After surviving twenty-seven years of General Badass, I can deal with Hardy.”
Whoa! General Broderick is Dan’s father. The biting words took Bram off guard. Not everyone has a great relationship with their parents, but Dan certainly holds no love for his father. Sad, really sad.
Bram refrained from commenting on Dan’s family. “Jon’s bark is mostly bluster to cover a soft core, he cares but doesn’t express softer emotions well. Usually comes out as anger.”
Dan didn’t care how the tactical leader expressed himself. With any luck, he wouldn’t need to put up with hardheaded Hardy much longer. Noticing the kindness in Bram’s blue-green eyes, he recognized Bram only tried to help, and he appreciated his effort. D
an quietly said, “Thanks for trying. I’m going to miss working with you.”
Bram’s eyes opened wide. “What? You’re not leaving, are you? Please don’t leave TRF. Dan, we all screwed up, and we know it now. Give us a chance to show you that you belong, you are one of the team, and you make a difference. Because … you do, you are, and you already have.”
Shoving his hands in his jeans pockets to hide the slight shake from the emotion churning below his surface, Dan said, “I’ve asked Gambrill to transfer me to Echo Team. He will inform me of his decision in two weeks. Until then, I’m still on Alpha Team. I’ll be back tomorrow morning.”
Reaching out, Bram squeezed Dan’s left bicep lightly. “I hope you reconsider the transfer.”
All of Dan’s senses began whirling. Patch’s special gesture. The gesture, a soft squeeze, and its location carried significance. The only spot on him which didn’t result in pain when touched after his rescue. The touch became Patch’s way to convey without words that he cared, and Dan would be alright.
Overwhelmed by the sensation and the flood of memories, Dan sucked in a breath. He must leave now before he embarrassed himself again. “I gotta go. See ya tomorrow.” He turned and swiftly headed for the stairs.
Bram stood watching Dan’s rapid retreat. There had been an emotional reaction when he touched the rookie. Dan was definitely a multi-faceted man. It would take time to discover the real man behind the shields.
TRF HQ – Dispatcher Desk – 7:40 a.m.
Tia called out to Dan as he walked past her. “Dan, wait.”
Dan stopped and turned. “Yeah?”
Holding out a large baggie and a card, Tia said, “These are for you. Lexa needed to leave for a public relations gig with Ray, but asked me to give them to you.”
Striding over to the desk, Dan reached out, and took the bag and card. “Thanks.”
“Where are you going?” Tia asked with a worried tone.
