Just The Pits (Hetta Coffey Series)

by Schwartz, Jinx

  "Except it didn't quite work out that way, did it? "

  Tears sprang into his eyes. "I was friends with those men. I never would have taken part had I know they would be harmed."

  "We can talk morality later. Right now I need you to do something for me. We have to access the Internet, pronto."

  42

  Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.—George Bernard Shaw

  When Rosario, Po Thang and I rushed into the Internet café, the kid I'd given five hundred pesos to less than an hour before jumped up from his computer with his hand out. I greased his greedy little palm once again, thinking we had a young Rosario in the making here.

  It cost me another two hundred so Po Thang could stay inside, but at least this time Rosario sent the onlookers packing, so we had some privacy.

  I'd told Rosario what I needed done as we left via the back gate and made our way the few short blocks to the Internet café, so he went to work as soon as we arrived.

  I bribed yet another kid away from his computer and accessed the security system on the boat. It's a good thing I'd hit the ATM in Mulege on Monday as the six thousand pesos I'd withdrawn was dwindling as fast as the financial status of the Mexican tween population improved.

  The cameras showed Vargas pacing, clearly upset that Rosario was taking so long to return. He took his cell from his pocket and said, in English, "Vargas here. We are delayed due to the earthquake. It could be a few more hours."

  He listened, a deep V forming between his eyes. "I don't care about the friggin' runway lights. We take off when I say so, lights or no."

  He clearly didn't like what the other party said next. "Those marines can be bought. Or if necessary, take them by surprise when I call. There are only five or six of them. I will anchor off the runway, and come in to the beach by panga. You can taxi down the runway to meet me. We'll be well out of the country by the time the marines are found."

  I had reached over and punched Rosario on the arm so he could hear what his ex-BFF had to say. Just as he leaned in to listen, Julio said to what was surely his pilot, "Yes, there will only be me. The others have been permanently delayed."

  "You heard it, Rosario," I said. "We are the 'others' the bastard is talking about. Vargas plans to take us out on my boat, and feed us to the fish."

  Rosario turned his fury at such rotten betrayal onto his keyboard, determined to make his hacking job pay off. And pay back.

  As I watched, things quieted down on the boat. Jan had been un-gagged, at least, and Topaz sat there looking totally innocent, while I knew she was focused on ripping out Vargas's throat the minute she had a chance. Both still had their hands tied.

  There was a knock on the boat's door. Vargas growled, "Finally," slid it open and stepped back in surprise at what he saw. He recovered quickly though, whipped what looked like a .45 from his waistband and yanked Doctor Diane Powell roughly into the main saloon. He shoved her down next to Jan. Lucky for her, Jan was still tied up.

  "Oh, no," I moaned.

  Rosario leaned over. "It's Diane! What is she doing there?"

  And why do only the bad guys in Mexico seem to have guns?

  Vargas, his frustration boiling over, yelled, "Who in the hell are you?"

  "She's a boyfriend stealer, that's who," Jan said. "If you'll untie me I'll scratch her eyes out."

  Diane moved away as far as she could from Jan without falling off the couch.

  Vargas grinned. "Normally I would enjoy a good cat fight, but right now I simply don't have the luxury. Okay, who are you and what are you doing here?"

  Diane's emerald eyes were wide with surprise and fear, but she said, "I was in Loreto when I heard of the earthquake and came here to see if Hetta, Jan, Po Thang and Rosario were all right."

  "How sweet of you," Jan meowed. "Rosario is out walking the dog and Hetta's still stuck at the mine because of a big landslide at Cuesta."

  "I know about the slide, the marines at the roadblock south of Conception Bay told me. They weren't going to let me through, but having doctor in front of your name opens many doors in Mexico."

  "You're a doctor?" Vargas asked.

  "So what?" Jan spat. "Wait a minute, how did you know Rosario was here? He is, but he's supposed to be at Camp Chino. And speaking of, where is Chino?"

  "As far as I know Doctor Yee is still at the camp. Rosario left two days ago and said he was coming here to meet a friend."

  Jan tossed her head. "Well, that was clearly a lie; Julio Vargas is no one's friend."

  Vargas's eyes narrowed dangerously. "How is it you know my name, Blondie?"

  Oh, crap! Jan, shut up! I willed. I grabbed my cell phone and called the boat.

  This time I could see what happened when the phone rang. Vargas looked at the caller ID and handed the phone to Jan. "It's your buddy Hetta again. Go ahead and answer, but be very careful what you say."

  Jan looked squarely at the camera as she spoke. Vargas leaned over so he could hear, getting dangerously near Topaz in the process. "Hetta, everything still okay at the mine?" Jan asked.

  "Yes, but still no word on the road opening, although the mine has sent heavy equipment to help clear it. You know those babies can go offroad. Sure wish I could be there for our five o'clock cocktail hour. You know I never miss it."

  "Five o'clock is your favorite time. And it's almost that now."

  Vargas made a cut sign with his hand and Jan ended the call with a goodbye.

  I leaned over to Rosario. "Set it up for four thirty."

  He hit some keys. "It is done."

  There was sudden movement on my screen and the sounds of a scuffle. As Jan was handing the cell phone back to Vargas, Topaz lashed out like a cobra, using both fists on Vargas's nose. He reeled back and almost lost the hold on his gun. Blood spouted from his crushed nose, all over my couch and rug. I'd make him pay for that mess.

  Jan, at first frozen with surprise, hip-bumped Diane onto the floor and began scooting off the settee, while Topaz did the same on the other side. Unfortunately Vargas recovered too soon and trained the gun on Jan. "Hold it right there. You, doc, get me a towel. What do I do for this nose?"

  "Take at least four aspirin, blow your nose repeatedly, and lay down with your head back. Whatever you do, do not pinch your nostrils. And if you can, apply hot compresses, as hot as you can stand them."

  Jan gave Diane a look meant to kill. "Traitor."

  "I'm a doctor, remember?"

  Vargas nodded gingerly, which let lose another gush of blood. He glared at Topaz. "I have clearly underestimated you women, so I'm going to lock you up so I can tend to my nose. When Rosario gets back, I will deal with you personally, and you will not like it."

  Waving the gun, he herded everyone into my master cabin and jammed a chair against the lock. More blood leaked onto my stuff and I looked forward to breaking that nose even better for him.

  I watched in dismay as Julio disappeared into the guest cabin where Topaz told him she had a bottle of aspirin and reappeared with a stack of my brand new guest towels.

  "You know, Rosario, your friend Julio isn't as smart as he thinks he is. Don't you suppose he'd wonder why a woman he was holding hostage would be so free with helpful medical advice?"

  Rosario shrugged. "Diane is a very special woman."

  "So you say, and I tend to believe you. At least they're all away from him for now. And knowing at least two of them quite well, they are already untied and making plans. Let's take a look." I activated my bedroom camera and sure enough, Diane was untying Topaz. Jan, her hands still bound, was scrounging for weapons.

  "Thanks, Diane," Topaz said, exercising her freed wrists.

  Jan two-handed a can of hair spray she'd found in the head to Topaz and held out her arms. "How about undoing me, Diane?"

  "I don't know. Are you going to scratch my eyes out?"

  "Are you kidding? With that medical advice you gave Vargas, he'll be lucky not to bleed out or choke to death. And Topaz, way to
go with that sucker punch. You two are my new best heroes. Well except for Hetta, of course. Hetta, have you been watching all this?"

  Both Diane and Topaz looked puzzled, and I nodded, even though I knew they couldn't see me. I maneuvered the camera slightly, knowing Jan would catch the movement.

  "Hetta can see and hear us?" Diane asked.

  "Yep, she's somewhere nearby and planning something. What, I have no idea, but knowing her it's gonna be good, huh, Hetta?"

  I waggled the camera.

  "Five o'clock, right?"

  Waggle.

  "We'll be ready."

  Waggle.

  43

  BAIL OUT (Nautical term): Remove water from (assist or rescue)...but how?

  We had almost an hour until all hell broke loose, but we had work to do.

  On the way back I locked Po Thang in a marina shower room, much to his dismay. I couldn't risk him on the loose for the time being. Since I was the only one in the marina who used that bathroom, and there was never any hot water anyway, I figured the chances of someone letting him out were nil to none.

  Now that I had no way to see what was going on inside the boat, I opted to return to the swimming pool area and at least keep an eye out on the docks. I was rewarded with the satisfying view of Vargas flat out on the sundeck, his head back, trying to staunch an ever-increasing flow of blood.

  I needed a way to get to the boat unseen by Vargas, but couldn't figure it out without swimming and there was no way in hell I was going into that harbor. Raw sewage had flowed in for centuries, along with God only knows what in the way of mining chemicals.

  While Rosario and I were at the Internet café, the ferry had arrived and was unloading. Armed marines milled about as people and cars disembarked. I looked longingly at the soldier's weapons. Vargas's gun was the only thing that worried me. If he were not armed, I'd gather a posse and storm the boat. Oh, for just a little grenade or two.

  Rosario showed up with the binoculars I'd sent him to buy, and a large sack. "I bought them all, Hetta. The vendor was very happy."

  "I'm glad someone is." I glanced at my watch. "You're certain you set it up for 4:30?"

  He looked indignant. "It was slightly harder to get into the Mexican government system, but certainly not impossible. What is the saying, the impossible only takes a little longer?"

  "Do you have your cell phone? Mine is showing low batteries and my charger is back at the office. Or what's left of it."

  "It looks fine to me."

  "Not my phone, the office." I told him about the building disappearing into an old mine shaft, and my wild drive down the back roads to Mex 1.

  "Oh, that was you? I heard people talking about this large yellow machine on the highway while I was buying the binoculars."

  "I doubt I'll be up for woman of the year."

  "Actually, they are all laughing. Anything that annoys the federales is good for us."

  "Right now we could use a few federales."

  He looked suddenly sad and gazed out to sea. "Do you really think my friends died out there?"

  "I don't know. Probably."

  "I will never forgive myself. I set them up."

  "You were set up, as well, don't forget. What will you do when this whole thing is over?

  "I have been sending money to San Francisco and plan to go there."

  "To your dad? Huh, Baja Gamer?"

  Rosario's jaw dropped, then he gave me a wide smile. "Oh, you women are so good. Julio is in big trouble."

  "Yes, he is. Tell me, what was the plan? For the money?"

  "We were, all six, to fly to Belize. Julio had set up accounts for all of us, but he had to sign them over. Once that was done, he would return, as we said, then resign in a reasonable amount of time."

  "But he double-crossed you. How is it you trusted him?"

  "He was the only one in my senior year at the American School who was my friend. He is not from a rich family, but a diplomatic one. We kept in touch through gaming, and when he was hired as comptroller, he called."

  "So he actually recruited Bert into his scheme early on, and Bert hired the right men, those in need of money, as his accomplices. Then Vargas sent you here to set them up as suspects so you two could take the money and run. To put the icing on the cake, he hires me so I can further incriminate the four men with evidence fed me by you. Pretty slick. Except it's not, because if that Julio harms my friends, I am going to do him in. And you, as well, and this time you're going to stay dead."

  "I do not blame you. I will kill myself and save you the trouble."

  "All hell is about to break loose in a little while, but before it does, I've been meaning to ask you where you hid for so long after your so-called death."

  "A mine shaft way up in the hills behind San Bruno."

  "How did you find it?"

  "Julio. Oh, Hetta! I think I know where Bert, Safety, John and Ozzie may be!"

  Every siren in town went off at four-thirty-five, minutes after the Port Captain was notified by Mexico City of the tsunami coming our way.

  We watched as the ferry hastily left port, and fishermen on the beaches began dragging their pangas to higher ground. Several boats left the old marina, headed for the safety of open sea.

  Marines boiled out of the navy installation on the hill above my marina, and the nuns constantly tolled the bell at the old folks home they ran. Curiosity seekers began lining the hills and bluffs, waiting to see what happened.

  Then the sound trucks began their patrol, their loud speakers echoing through the town, repeating the now terrifying international word, tsunami. No one had forgotten Phuket and Japan, or the horrifying images we witnessed for days after those disasters.

  The guy running the Pemex station at the marina locked up and started running toward the main street, but stopped short and turned toward the docks. He made a beeline for my boat. Crap, I'd have to remember not to tip him so well.

  He knocked on Raymond Johnson's hull, yelling, "Tsunami!" but when no one answered, he took off, evidently satisfied we were not on board.

  I handed Rosario the bag of stuff he bought in town, and yelled, "Okay, you're on. Go!"

  Rosario raced down the dock, only stopping momentarily to light the paper bag and launch it over onto Lucifer. Then he jumped onto Raymond Johnson's deck, and above the sirens and several pounds of fireworks going off, which sounded very much like automatic weapons fire, I heard him shouting dire warnings to Vargas. He disappeared inside the boat and my heart arrested a couple of minutes later when Julio emerged, alone.

  White faced and probably nearly in shock from blood loss, Vargas slammed the door behind him and made his way, painstakingly, onto the dock.

  I lost sight of Vargas as I scrambled down the stairway to the Ladies' room and grabbed Po Thang's leash, but knew I could cut the bastard off since he was having trouble keeping his balance.

  As he passed by the building, I let Po Thang go and yelled, "Kill!"

  Po Thang looked puzzled, but then gave me a dog style shrug and ran out to jump on Julio, his new best friend. All Julio heard was, "Kill," before the dog blindsided him and knocked him down, face-first, on that nose. As he howled in pain, I grabbed the gun from his waistband and yelled, "Freeze!"

  Man, did it feel good to have a gun in my hand again. Until I realized the damned thing was plastic, which pissed me off so bad I kicked Julio in the balls. Now that felt really good. I looked around and spotted a wrought iron chair. Unlucky for Vargas, I didn't have anything to tie him with, so instead I hit him over the head with the chair.

  Satisfied that the jerk was good and out, I raced to the boat, praying Rosario wasn't hurt. At least I knew he wasn't shot with anything worse than a pellet.

  I rushed to my bedroom door, removed the chair jamming the lock and flung it open. Everyone was there, safe and sound.

  "Jeez, Hetta, what the hell took you so long?" Jan yelled. "We gotta get out of here, there's a tsunami coming!"

  Rosario and I
burst into gales of laughter.

  EPILOGUE

  When Nacho rushed into the marina parking lot to find Topaz straddling Vargas, and bopping the slimeball in the schnoz every time he moved, he was so smitten he made certain the rest of her vacation was very rewarding, in a shadowy, criminal sort of way.