by Ward,Alice
I took a shaky breath and walked to my filing cabinet, working to pull out the various documents the SEC would request be part of the case file. Alisa would want to walk through the details of every part of what happened with Dane too.
“If she’s still taking the case.” My voice was broken, soft and shot another arrow of despair through me. I almost wanted to tell her to deny me representation so that I could break apart in front of a stranger. Knowing that it would most likely be her beside me as the verdict was read, and my guilt proclaimed was too much. Too painful.
I pulled out my phone and texted her that I was at the office pulling out files. She didn’t respond, which didn’t surprise me much. She needed space, room to think and breathe, or at least those were her parting remarks from the night before.
I’d have given just about anything for one more night in her arms before the news came through. I was a bastard for pushing her toward a relationship when I knew her ethics pulled her back continuously. I needed to back off and let everything settle before trying to force my desires onto her again. It was easier said than done. The minute I got around her, my body woke up, my heart beat faster. She’d awoken the parts of me that made me want to promise her forever if it meant us being together. Even if I couldn’t come through on the promise.
I’d been focused on the wrong things for the last twenty years of my life. I had no clue if I would be able to shift my desires and dreams once everything blew over, but I knew for sure that if Alisa was willing to give us a try, that I was just greedy enough to ask her to be mine. If that meant stepping back for the time being in hopes of a future together, then I would do it. If she wanted nothing to do with me, I would figure out how to respect that as well.
I dropped the files on my desk and sat down to pull up the news feeds over the investigation on Jessup. Sickness rolled through me as a scrolled through the names on the list. Dane had been a busy boy. Funny enough… his name wasn’t anywhere.
“Now… why is that?”
CHAPTER 2
e
Alisa
Indecision wrecked my insides the morning after leaving Zek. He needed me there with him, to offer comfort, and yet in the face of fear… I’d left. I left like he’d left all those years before. He had done the right thing back then, but had I last night? It sure as hell didn’t feel like it.
My suit was pressed and hair in a tight bun as I headed into the office that morning. I thought about texting him a million times throughout the long, sleepless night, but I didn’t. We needed our space until the trial with the federal government was over. He wouldn’t find a better attorney for the type of charges facing him. I was a business lawyer, and where the rape case was a little out of my league, the insider trading case was my bread and butter.
Having spent half of my time in college studying finance and the rest pushing through the plethora of law and business classes, I understood the ins and outs of what we were up against. The only problem was that I was fighting against the truth. Justice always seemed to have her say in some way or another. Zek wasn’t likely to come out of the trial unscathed.
I smiled at the girl at the receptionist desk in the office as I cursed myself internally for not remembering her name. With only so much space in my head for all the rules and laws I had tucked away, names usually found no place in my memory.
The conference room was already filled with our four partners and Lizzy by the time I darkened the door. There was a tray of pastries in the center of the table, and the smell of coffee helped me to relax just a little.
Clapping and shouts of congratulations filled the air as I stepped into the room. I stopped short, a little surprised by their excitement. Did they not know about Zek’s new situation?
“Congratulations, Alisa. Great job on the Kellington Mills case. Your first large case here at Dellup and Brown and you knock it out of the park.” Lizzy moved up beside me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, surprising me yet again.
“Thanks. I appreciate the support.” I smiled warmly at her and let my thoughts of the future fade away as I focused on the moment. I needed a pick me up. The man I’d fallen in love with as a girl, and obviously not gotten over, was facing jail time, and I was all that stood between him and that verdict. I’d fought for criminals most of my young career, but seeing Zek in that light changed something inside of me. I wasn’t sure if it was for the better or worse just yet.
“We’re all very impressed, Alisa. Come have breakfast with us and let’s debrief together. We usually do this as part of our standard operating procedures.” Ronnie Dellup gave me a tight smile and nodded to the seat beside him. “Come sit and tell us how Mr. Kellington is doing. He must be on cloud nine.”
“We need to talk about how we’re going to help get his name back on the up and up. You know the press slaughtered him without the proper information to do so.” Lizzy released me and took her seat, her voice filled with barely kept anger.
“Agreed.” Ronnie lifted his coffee to his lips and leaned back. “Don’t be shy.”
I chuckled and unbuttoned my jacket before sitting down next to him. “I’m not sure I’ve ever been called shy.”
They all joined in a quick laugh as I worked to get a pastry and cup of coffee in front of me. I needed to tread carefully on the situation with Zek. I might be willing to tell Lizzy the full deal, but everyone else in the room? Not a chance. I didn’t know these old guys at all, and after watching Jon Mills’ mask come off, I wasn’t in the mood to discover anymore character flaws in those around me. Jon had been a pillar of the community and one of the top defense lawyers in the state. Him being a greedy old bastard and working with his daughter to exploit her sexually for financial gain was sickening. That hadn’t come out during the trial itself, but I had no doubt as to his involvement.
“So talk to us. Have you spoken with Mr. Kellington this morning?” One of the other partners stole me from my thoughts with his question.
“No, but I’ll be meeting with him later today.” I let out a breath I hadn’t realized was lodged in my lungs. “He received bad news last night, unfortunately, so the win was quite short lived.”
Lizzy paled as she leaned toward the table, her eyes on me. “What bad news?”
I was a little taken aback that Zek hadn’t reached out to her, but I knew why. He was guilty, and involving anyone in the case would only ask them to do something that Zek wished he hadn’t done himself — bend their ethics.
“The lead agent in the securities matter left a message that they had wrapped up their investigation and would be pressing charges against not only Zek, but Kellington Investments as well.” I picked up my pastry, but hesitated in taking a bite. I figured I would be peppered with questions, but the room grew silent, almost eerily so.
I ate half of the sugary treat before Lizzy spoke. “Wow. I saw all of the other charges coming across CNN this morning. It’s the latest news. I didn’t see Zek’s name on the broadcast, but maybe I just missed it.”
“I haven’t watched it, but it will be quite a battle. We need to dig into what happened, and how Mr. Kellington was implicated by all of it.” I finished my breakfast, trying with all of my might to keep a calm facade locked into place. No one in the room needed to understand just how much I was connected to Zek, not even him, and especially not his sister-in-law.
“Have you spoken to him about his involvement?” Ronnie asked as he stood and pressed his hands to the table in front of him.
“No, but I would assume that he wasn’t involved in it. Zek is an upstanding man, but we have an uphill battle whether he is or not.” I glanced down toward Lizzy, wondering if she knew any different. Had he told her?
“I agree with Alisa. Even though his name was cleared in the rape charges, you guys know as well as I do that the next jury will be wondering if this guy’s just getting away with stuff and being let off the hook. To have two criminal trials for two very different matters in the same quarter, hell, the same decad
e is really bad. We might need to pull in additional help for Alisa.”
“It depends on who you’re offering.” I picked up my coffee and sat back. I should have been slightly intimidated by the level of knowledge and wisdom in the room, but I wasn’t. I was comforted by it. No one needed to know that Zek was guilty but me and Lizzy, if he chose to tell her. The rest of the firm would stand behind me as long as I kept a strong front present when they were around. They weren’t interested in innocence or guilt, but money and winning.
“I think it might be prudent to put you on the case too, Lizzy.” One of the other partners spoke up. “You know Zek well and can dig a little deeper than the rest of us. No one had a fuss about you supporting Alisa as Senior Counsel on the rape allegations. Let’s move forward with the two of you taking the helm on this one too.”
“I’m happy doing that. I need to move my schedule around a little, but it shouldn’t be too much of a problem.” Lizzy turned and looked down the table toward me. “If there’s a problem with me being Zek’s sister-in-law, then we’ll remove me and add someone else to the case with Alisa’s approval. Does that sound good?”
“Yes. I like that plan.” I reached for my phone as it buzzed. Zek had some files out that he wanted me to review. Damn if my stomach didn’t tighten at the sight of his name on my phone. I wanted so badly for things to work out for him so that we could move forward. I was pretty sure that I wanted to stick things out no matter what, but something was holding me back from telling him that. Hence the running away the night before.
That he was still texting me and talking to me was a good thing, but the lack of greeting or any emotional adjectives in his message let me know that he was hurt, worried or depressed.
Shit. Maybe all three.
“Do you have time for lunch today? We could talk about the other aspects of this current case. My treat?” Lizzy stood, and I did as well, nodding toward her and giving her a smile although my insides were twisted into knots.
“That sounds great. Thanks again for the support. I appreciate you guys.” I lifted my coffee in the air and gave them a cocky grin. “To Mr. Zek Kellington, who’s keeping us busy and helping us make yet another strike for good, truth and justice.”
They laughed and lifted their cups. “Hear ye. Hear ye.”
*
“Are you really okay?” Lizzy glanced over at me as we met at the front of the little Italian place down from the office a few hours later.
“No. Yes. I don’t know.” I walked into the smell of garlic and tomato sauce. It was comforting, and yet I wanted Zek beside me so bad it almost hurt. How much more reserve would I have to maintain around him?
We took our seats, and I ordered a jack and coke without caring that I shouldn’t drink during a lunch break. Lizzy could berate me or talk me down from the ledge, but both responses would be received about the same — numbly.
“Did you speak with him this morning?” She pulled her napkin into her lap and watched me carefully.
“He texted me that he wanted me to come by his office.” I pressed my fingers to my forehead and took a shaky breath. “I put on a front up there, but I don’t know if I can do this.”
Her fingers wrapped around my arm and pulled my hand down. Her expression was serious and motherly. “Alisa. You came back here and took this case for a reason. Why?”
“It was challenging and hard. I honestly thought I could win the securities case. It’s what I do. It’s who I—”
“Stop.” She lifted her eyebrow at me. “Why did you take the rape case?”
“Because Zek didn’t do it. Someone had to stand beside him, and they wouldn’t let you.” Tears burned my eyes. I knew she was going to press into me, and it was half the reason I went to lunch with her. Someone needed to unwind the tightness inside of me, pull me from my shell and remind me what real life looked like. It was hard and bloody, it was painful and yet so far beyond exhilarating that nothing would ever compare to it.
“No. I don’t believe that’s the whole reason.” She squeezed my arm again and released me. “I saw you with him last night. That affection between the two of you isn’t eighteen years old. It’s fresh and present. It’s here right now.”
I nodded and reached for a buttery roll in the center of the table as tears dripped down my face. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“I want to know if you love my brother-in-law. He means the world to Mark, and Mark means the world to me. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for Zek.” She tilted her head to the side as our drinks were delivered.
Her expression had softened, and I couldn’t help but chuckle through my tears as she waved the server off and tried to replace the sternness that sat on her features only moments before.
“I do love him, and that scares me.” I pulled my napkin from my lap and wiped my eyes. “I don’t want to give up on him, but you have no idea how fucking hard it is to be around him and try to keep myself unattached, removed, emotionless.”
“I can’t imagine, to be quite clear. He needs you, but I know you need to be objective. You have to be if there is any chance that he’ll get out of this.” She took a drink of her drink and nodded toward mine. “Drink up. We both need this, I think.”
Picking up the glass, I forced the torrent of emotions that plagued me back down. I could help Zek, no doubt, but doing so and not letting my emotions breathe fully around him would be a different story. I wanted to pull him close and kiss him with all the angst and need that he forced to rise deep within me. I needed more than anything to feel the pressure of his body against mine, his mouth pressed to every part of me and the adoration that followed all those things. I needed him.
“So, here’s the plan.” Lizzy picked up a roll and took a bite, speaking around it. “You’re going to find out everything you can about those other men involved in the scandal. Zek’s guilt or innocence is irrelevant. We look for every bit of evidence we can to make it appear as though he was framed. If we’re unable to do that, we regroup and figure out our very best plea bargain.”
I nodded, already knowing everything that Lizzy was rushing through. She was worried and had to at least suspect that Zek was guilty. Otherwise the topic of the plea bargain would never have come up. We worked through some of the details of the case over the rest of the lunch, and her calm demeanor calmed me.
She was quick to remind me that whatever relationship was building between me and Zek had to remain behind closed doors. The public couldn’t get wind of the two of us.
I promised to keep myself in check, and if I did slip then it would be in a place that no one would be able to find us. She laughed at me as we walked out and gave me a side hug.
“Better you than me. Those Kellington boys are something else. Mark and I couldn’t hide what we have going on if it meant our lives would be taken because of it. I’m not so sure you’re not in the same boat as us.” She released me and moved back. “I’m here if you need me.”
“Thank you.” I spoke to her for a moment more and turned, walking to my car as the wind picked up and blew my hair about. I could convince Lizzy that everything was fine, and perhaps even Zek, but deep down inside, I was a mess. I wanted the same man I’d always wanted, and yet once again he was slipping through my fingers.
Please. Just this once let things work out. Please.
CHAPTER 3
e
Zek
I half expected her not to show up seeing that it was getting to be mid to late afternoon. The sound of someone knocking on the glass doors at the front of the office resurrected my hope. I jumped up from my chair and jogged toward the hall, only to stop short and force myself into a leisurely walk. I didn’t want her to know how badly I wanted to simply be around her.
She had the ball in her court where we were concerned, and I wasn’t ready to force anything just yet. I prayed like hell that I could be the kind of man who was self-sacrificing and could just give her up if that’s where we landed, but I wasn’t so
sure.
Her dark blue pants suit fit her beautifully, and the silky white blouse she wore under it accented her breasts. My body screamed for connection, for touch, but I denied it as I unlocked the door and awarded her with a warm smile.
“Alisa. How are you?” I moved back as she walked in. The smell of her perfume wrapped around me, and I had to coach myself down from the carnal instinct to let loose all my rage and fear onto the pretty girl. I wasn’t a monster, but some part of me wanted to be — just for a minute.
“I’m good. Sorry I didn’t respond earlier. We were in the middle of our debrief on your case.” She stopped in the hall, and I moved past her, careful not to touch her.
It was beyond odd to have rights to her the night before when I had pulled her close and pressed my lips to the soft flesh of her neck, and today be denied. Maybe I was putting too much weight on everything. She hadn’t pushed me back or denied me a quick kiss last night. Maybe she was hurting too, and I was making it worse by conjuring up rules that didn’t exist.
“No worries. I appreciate all that you’re doing for me. Let’s talk in my office, and I’ll show you the files I have on Jessup.” I walked in and turned, letting my eyes move down her legs and back up to the beautifully feminine curve of her hips.
“That would be great. Lizzy and I spoke at lunch about the SEC allegations. She’s going to be playing second with me on the case.” She pulled out her chair and I kicked myself internally for not doing it for her. I was a basket case, and most likely would be until I let myself relax and just simply be natural around her — whatever that meant.
“You’re taking the case?” I was relieved, burdened and surprised all in the same moment.
Her brow pulled tight, and I could see quite clearly that I had offended her. “Why would I not take the case?”
I sat down and leaned back. “I don’t know. After last night, I just—”
