Submerging (Swans Landing)

by Norris, Shana

“Then what?” I asked. “How did she die?”

  “It was a mistake,” Callum said, squeezing his eyes shut. “A stupid, terrible mistake. I was fourteen at the time, and I thought I knew everything. I thought I knew what was best for Hether Blether. The virus that killed my parents was only a symptom of something that had been happening to the island for a long time. We don’t get sick here, Sailor. We don’t die of disease, it doesn’t happen.” His shoulders slumped. “Or at least, that was the way it used to be. Now, with the protection around the island failing, we’re being exposed to diseases we’ve never experienced before. But it doesn’t have to be a death sentence. We can live in the human world, we can be a part of it and use their medicine to treat ourselves. That is what I was trying to do that day.”

  Callum took a deep breath. “But Pearl tried to talk me out of it. She worried that exposing our world to the humans would cause more trouble than it would help. I wanted to show everyone I wasn’t some kid with crazy ideas. I swam for Westray. I didn’t realize how rough the sea was that day. I grew tired quickly and couldn’t find my way back to Hether Blether. When I didn’t come home that night, Pearl went out looking for me. She found me, I don’t know how, but she had some kind of instinct that led her to me.

  “But we were close to the shores of Westray,” Callum went on. “Close to the cliff, where the lighthouse is. It was so dark, we couldn’t see anything except the light shining high above us. The water got rougher as we swam closer to the island. I tried to hold onto her. If we had been able to stick together, maybe our combined strength could have fought back against the current. We could have found our way around the cliffs to safer ground. But I lost my grip on her. I called for her, but she didn’t answer. I stayed in that water all night, calling for her and searching.”

  His shoulders shuddered as he sucked in a deep breath. I squeezed his hand and stepped closer to him.

  “What happened?” I asked gently.

  “When the morning came, I was able to follow the cliff around the island toward lower ground. And then I saw Pearl, washed up on shore. I went to her, but she was already gone. She’d hit her head on the rocks along the cliff. She lay there, with her eyes wide open and staring up at the sky. I wanted to bring her back to Hether Blether, but then I heard someone coming down the beach toward us. I got scared. I didn’t know what else to do, so I left her there and went back into the water.”

  I wrapped my arms around him, pressing my cheek against his shoulder. “What did they do with her body?” I asked. “Did they know she was finfolk?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t think so. Somehow her body had changed back to human form, so she had legs. I watched from the water as the man who found her called for help. They carried her off. After my banishment, when I returned to Westray, I found out from old newspapers that there had been news stories asking for information on her identity. But no one knew who she was, so eventually, she was buried in an unnamed grave.

  “When I came back home and told everyone what had happened, Domnall convinced them that my actions were treason,” Callum said. “I had risked exposing all of them. And since my actions led to the death of my sister, I was labeled a murderer.”

  “But it was an accident,” I said. “You didn’t kill her.”

  Callum shrugged. “Her death is my fault. So Domnall was right to banish me.”

  “And your leg?” I asked.

  “It was the most severe punishment Domnall could give me. I can’t swim as well as a whole finfolk can. Cutting off my leg and taking away my ability to change was supposed to keep me from coming back to Hether Blether.” He smirked. “We see how well that worked out.”

  “But it’s barbaric,” I insisted. “You never intentionally set out to hurt anyone. Cutting off your leg for that is wrong.”

  He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s what I deserve, Sailor. If I hadn’t been so stupid, my sister would still be here.” He shook his head. “I don’t expect you to understand.”

  “You think I don’t understand blame? If I hadn’t been born, my mama might still be in Swans Landing and not stuck here. The humans back home might not be so afraid of the finfolk if my mother had never had me. Don’t tell me about guilt, Callum. I’ve lived with it every day of my life.”

  “You can’t blame yourself,” he told me. “The actions of your parents don’t make you guilty of anything.”

  I laughed. “Spare me the lectures when you’ve just insisted that you’re a murderer because of an accident.”

  He dropped his head. “I have wished every day for the last five years that I could go back and change everything.”

  “You know what my grandma would say?” I asked.

  He raised his eyebrows. “No. What?”

  “If wishes were horses, beggars would ride,” I said in my best Gale Mooring impersonation.

  He blinked at me for a moment, then laughed. “I don’t think I understand, but maybe your grandmother is a wise woman.”

  “She is,” I said, sighing as I thought about her.

  “Do you miss her?”

  I nodded. “And I’m worried about her.”

  “Then we should go back to her,” Callum said.

  I raised my eyebrows. “We?” I asked.

  “I brought you to Hether Blether and to Domnall,” Callum said. “So maybe it’s my duty to help get you safe again.”

  “How?” I asked. “You can’t make that swim.”

  Callum frowned. “I’ll figure out a way.”

  A tingle started up my arm, spreading throughout my body. When he reached over to cup my cheek in his hand, I closed my eyes, breathing in the scent of him.

  His warm breath brushed across my lips and I opened my eyes again to find his face only inches away. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against mine.

  “I shouldn’t want to kiss you,” he said. “I shouldn’t be allowed to feel something good after everything I’ve done.”

  “You want to kiss me?” I asked, my heart pounding against my chest.

  “Very much.”

  I swallowed, staring back into his eyes. “I want you to kiss me,” I whispered.

  He trembled slightly as his mouth moved toward mine. The sound of birds and the ocean around us vanished when our lips met. I no longer felt the cold, wet earth beneath my feet. There was only Callum and me, and the feel of his arms pulling me into him as he kissed me deeper.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Josh didn’t say anything when Callum and I returned to the suite holding hands and for that I was grateful. This thing with Callum was new and strange and exciting and confusing all at once. I had spent my whole life convinced that Dylan Waverly was the person I was always meant to be with. From the time I was born, it was always Dylan and me.

  Now, I wasn’t sure of anything.

  Later that day, I wanted to go see my mother. Josh and Callum and I had discussed quietly the idea of leaving as soon as possible. I refused to leave without Mama, but whether she could actually swim all the way back to Swans Landing was still the big question.

  I sent word to Artair that I wanted to go to the peninsula, and I wasn’t surprised when we arrived at the bay to find Domnall waiting with his sentry.

  “No one invited you,” I told the finfolk king.

  He smiled, not looking at all bothered by my annoyed tone. “It is my duty to ensure your safety while crossing the bay,” he said.

  Callum scowled. “I can ensure her safety,” he said. “Go back to the palace.”

  Domnall looked coolly at Callum. “Need I remind you that you do not issue orders here?”

  Callum’s glare deepened, but he said nothing as we all boarded the boat.

  The extra weight in the boat made it sit low in the water, and the small waves lapping against the side sometimes splashed over, collecting at our feet. I could feel the tug of the change inside me as my feet soaked in the cold saltwater in the bottom of the boat, but it wasn’t enough to force the transformatio
n.

  Mama sat at her desk again when I entered. Josh and Callum stood on either side of me, while I felt Domnall’s presence in the doorway behind us. I gritted my teeth, ignoring the unwanted audience, and stepped across the room.

  “Mama?” I asked softly.

  She was drawing, her hand moving smoothly across the paper. It was a drawing of the Swans Landing lighthouse, rising above the beach where it stood near the northern end of the island. She had captured it with the eye of someone who had spent a lifetime looking at the lighthouse every day.

  “Mama.” I knelt next to her, putting a hand on her bony shoulder. She didn’t flinch or move away. She didn’t seem to even notice I was there “Do you want to go home?” I asked as quietly as I could so Domnall couldn’t hear.

  She kept drawing, her greasy hair falling over her shoulder and into her face. I pushed it back behind her ear, the way Grandma had always done for me. An overwhelming homesickness washed over me. I could see Grandma in Mama’s face. I could hear her voice in my head, even smell her in the air around me.

  I wanted to go home.

  “Mama, we’re going back to Swans Landing,” I whispered “I’ll take you home. I’ll take you to Grandma. We have to swim and we’ll be there”

  Mama’s thin lips cracked open, though she didn’t look away from her drawing. “I have to go,” she said.

  I nodded. “Yes, we’ll go.”

  “I have to find it,” Mama said.

  I blinked. “Find what?”

  “I need it.” A crease formed between her eyes and she frowned deeply. “I promised I would find it.”

  “What is it?” I asked gently. I hoped she wouldn’t become agitated like before and shut down again.

  “I need the key.” Mama turned her head toward me, her eyes wide. “It will save us.”

  I had no idea what she was talking about, but she looked on the verge of another breakdown, so I rubbed a hand over her head and nodded. “Okay. We’ll find it, then we’ll go home. I promise.”

  She sat back, looking satisfied. Then she turned her gaze toward the window. “I think I’ll go swimming today,” she said.

  She was back in her own world inside her head. I stood, trying not to let out the sobs that were building inside me. How could I take her on a swim all the way across the ocean in this condition?

  But how could I think about leaving her here?

  “Are you all right?” Callum asked as I turned toward him.

  I avoided his gaze, but nodded. “I’m fine. Let’s go.”

  Domnall gave me a sympathetic smile. “I am sorry for your mother’s condition,” he said. “It is a shame to see someone who should be so healthy and in her prime like this.”

  “If you’re so sorry about it, why haven’t you done anything to help her?” I snapped as we left the cottage. Josh grabbed my arm, shooting me a warning look, but I shrugged him off.

  “What would you have me do?” Domnall asked. “Your mother is beyond our help.”

  “Then let her go home,” I said. “Don’t keep her hidden here away from everyone else. Let me take her home and get her help.”

  “I told you, this is the effect the human world has on finfolk,” Domnall said. “This is what will become of all of you if something is not done. I am only trying to help.”

  Callum stepped forward. “You only want to control everyone,” he said. “You have no proof that the human world has done anything to anyone.”

  Domnall gestured toward the cottage. “Is that not proof enough for you?”

  “Maybe you did something to her,” Callum said. “I wouldn’t put it past you. What methods did you use to try to get her talk that left her like this?”

  My blood ran cold in my veins at Callum’s words and the idea that Domnall might have tormented my mama for information about Swans Landing. I didn’t want to think about her going through that, but it made sense. Why else would she be like that?

  Domnall glared down at Callum. “You dare speak to your king in that tone?”

  Callum didn’t back down or break Domnall’s gaze. “You know you are not my king.”

  Domnall stared back at him for a long moment, then stepped back. “Very well. Then I no longer feel compelled to give you my protection or services. Enjoy your walk back to the village.”

  Domnall’s robe fluttered behind him as he swept across the grass and white sand to the shore where Artair waited. Domnall climbed into the boat and Artair picked up the oars. With a push, they were off, Artair rowing back toward the other side of the wide bay.

  Josh shaded his eyes as he watched the boat move farther away from the shore. “He left us here,” he said with a tone of disbelief.

  “It isn’t that bad,” Callum said. “It will be a long walk, but we can manage.” He shifted a little on his good leg, rubbing his thigh where the prosthetic met flesh under his robe.

  “Are you sure you’re up for it?” I asked.

  “I’ll be fine,” Callum said, giving me a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “It certainly isn’t the worst thing Domnall could do to me. I’m sorry you two are stuck walking with me.”

  “It’s fine,” Josh said. “We don’t mind. And if you need help walking, let us know.”

  I sighed as I looked across the bay. “I’ll be glad when we get back home. The finfolk homeland hasn’t been anything like I expected.”

  “You are only seeing the ghost of what it used to be,” Callum told me. “Imagine an island full of beautiful homes and finfolk everywhere, on the land and in the water.” He gestured toward the bay. “There were once homes there, below the water. Finfolk used to travel often between the many vanishing islands.”

  “What happened to all of that?” Josh asked.

  Callum shrugged. “Most of it had already faded into stories by the time I was born. One by one, the vanishing islands were found by humans and claimed as their land, destroying the magic that kept them hidden. Hether Blether is the last of our islands in existence. There was a disagreement long ago, between two groups of people, the ones who wanted to remain hidden and the ones who wanted to find a way to exist and survive in the human world.” He raised his eyebrows at us. “One group left, hundreds of years ago and were never heard from again. Until now.”

  I frowned. “Do you think Domnall is right? Will Hether Blether die out if our people don’t come back?”

  Callum shook his head. “What’s wrong with Hether Blether isn’t the fault of your people. It’s our own. Forcing a group of finfolk to leave the only home they know is not the answer.”

  “It’s funny,” Josh said. “Your story about Hether Blether sounds a lot like Swans Landing.”

  When I looked at Josh questioningly, he continued. “Everyone says Swans Landing was once a bustling vacation spot. Tourists came from all over to fish there or relax. Now hardly anyone comes anymore. People have left, both finfolk and human. If things stay the way they are, Swans Landing might die out too.”

  The wind that swept over the bay was icy and it stung my eyes and ears. I didn’t like to think about the future Josh was predicting. If both Hether Blether and Swans Landing died out, what would become of the finfolk that were left?

  “I thought there were some similarities between the two,” Josh said, shrugging. He raised his eyebrows. “Ready? I hear it’s a long walk.”

  Callum reached for my hand, entwining his fingers with mine. “Ready,” he said.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  “It will be a long swim,” Callum said. “You’re already at a disadvantage with me joining you.”

  I glared at him across the table in our suite. “I don’t care. I’m not leaving without my mama.”

  “I agree with Sailor,” Josh said. “We came so far to find her. We still have questions she hasn’t yet answered. We need to take her home.”

  Callum sighed as he threw up his hands in frustration. “Are either of you thinking this through? The woman is daftie. Has she even been back in the water
in the past sixteen years? Maybe Domnall did the same thing to her that he did to me. Maybe she can’t change anymore.”

  “She’s not crazy,” I said. “She’s sick. We have to take her home and get her help. Grandma will know what to do.”

  I wasn’t sure my grandma could do anything for her, but I had to hold out hope that she would know. Gale Mooring always knew the right cure for everything.

  “And what if the swim back only makes her condition worse?” Callum asked me quietly. “She left that place for a reason. What if being back there only brings back the memories she is trying to forget?”

  I dug my fingernails into the wood, forcing myself not to cry at his words. I didn’t want to think about that possibility. Right now, the only thing I could focus on was getting away from Hether Blether.

  “We’re taking her with us,” Josh said, his tone stern, as if his decision settled the matter. “Even if I have to hold her hand the entire swim back, we’ll get her home.”

  I cast a grateful look at Josh and he gave me a small smile in return. I knew he had his own selfish reasons for bringing my mama with us. He still wanted answers as to what happened the night our daddy died. But I was happy he took my side in this argument anyway.

  “What do we do if she can’t change?” Josh asked Callum. “Is there a way to reverse it?”

  “I don’t know of anyone ever reversing it,” Callum said. “But I suppose it could be possible, if you sing the right song. It would take a lot of power to do. And she would need to be in the water to help force the change.”

  “Why don’t we try it on you now?” I asked. “Then you could swim with us.”

  Callum shook his head. “It takes a lot more energy out of you than you think. I’m not going to let you use all your strength on me when you still have your mother to worry about. Besides, changing form wouldn’t bring my leg back. The song can’t regrow limbs. But I’m still finfolk. I won’t drown, but I will be a lot slower than I used to be.”

  I hoped Callum was right, and he could survive such a long swim in human form.

  “We’ll go after sunset to get her,” Callum decided. “The darkness will help hide us.”