Instead of paying me any more mind, he turned to the fireplace and began to stack coals in the pit.
“Uncle Roger, I need you to make me some armor, a full set. With gold accents and jeweled—”
He spat on the floor. “What on earth do you need armor for, boy?”
My memories of Roger rushed back. He’d always been cranky, but now he just seemed senile. I hated the way he made me feel small. “I-I’m the king. We’re going to war with Vires. I need to be prepared.”
“I’m not a fool, boy. I’m asking why you need armor.”
My face flushed with heat. I spoke again, annunciating each word to highlight my frustration. “I am the king. I will lead my men into battle.”
“I thought you appointed those knights of yours so you never had to get your hands dirty.”
Clenching my jaw, I drew Excalibur, putting it’s point to his back. “How dare you disrespect me. I am your king.”
He sighed, and when he spoke his words were so calm that they alarmed me. “You are just a boy.”
I swung Excalibur into a table and several unfinished weapons clanged as they hit the ground. I stared my Uncle Roger down, satisfied by the loud noise.
He stood slowly and walked over to me. “Pick it up.”
I shivered beneath his blue-eyed gaze. There were no official titles in this room. He was my father’s brother, there when I was born, when I took my first steps and spoke my first words. I needed him to understand, most of all, that I had changed. Why couldn’t he see it? I bent and collected the fallen items, clumsily placing them back on the table where Excalibur still stuck. I worried I’d look even more helpless if I tried to wrench it out and was unsuccessful.
Like the sword belonged to him, Roger slid it out of the table with ease and examined it. “Do you want to know why I think you’re just a boy?”
I gulped back my response like a reprimanded child.
He continued, “Because you come here, asking for armor with frills and decoration when you’ve never spilled a single drop of blood. You don’t know what it means to take a life. You don’t know the burden and can’t comprehend the cost.”
I felt my eyes prick, and I clenched my jaw so tightly it burned to keep from crying.
“I’ll tell you what.” He scratched the dirty stubble on his chin. “If you succeed in one simple task for me, I’ll build you a set of armor with such exquisite craftsmanship, Excalibur will look tarnished beside it.”
“What’s the task?” I asked, but my voice broke. I held my breath, hoping he didn’t notice.
He turned with Excalibur in hand and headed to a door at the back of the kitchen area.
The door was so covered in grime and soot that I hadn’t noticed it when I arrived. I followed him out and wondered whether it was a mistake not to alert Percival and Lamorak of where I was.
We stepped out into a narrow animal pen that had gates on each side of a grassy plain and a barn of sorts at the far end. The neighboring buildings had the same setup, though their barns were more elaborate and the pens wider than the small patch that belonged to my uncle. It was an unusual sight, not visible from the main roads. A chicken pecked around my foot and I fought the urge to shoo it away.
“Stay here,” Roger barked and then entered the barn. I stood nervously by the door, my mind racing with the possible tasks this might yield. Was I going to be made to do farm chores, feed his chickens? What could the point possibly be?
He opened the barn door and a flash of pink flew towards me. A piglet darted wildly around the pen, shuffling around as it tried quickly changing directions. It squealed with delight in the sun as it raced in circles, making the most of the tight space.
I watched as it played, a smile stinging my cheeks. It was the kind of pure joy I hadn’t felt since I was a kid. I watched so intently, I didn’t notice Roger cross the pen to stand beside me. He handed me Excalibur and I felt a wave of relief to have it back.
“So what’s this task?” I said, my attention still on the small pig as it munched on a clump of grass.
“I want you to kill that pig.”
My heart raced as understanding settled onto me like grains of sand embedded into my skin at the end of a beach day. I took a deep breath. “That’s it?” I asked, turning to his frosty blue gaze.
He smiled, a foreign expression to his face. “That’s it.”
“Easy,” I said. I walked over to the piglet, my confidence waning with each step. It lapped at its snout with delight as I approached. Its little mouth hung open and lifted at the corners as if it were smiling. When I was right over it, I could hear the little snorting sound it made each time it moved. It was cute, adorable even, but I had something to prove and nothing could prevent me from proving it. I drew Excalibur and raised it above my head. My heart slammed into my ribs and I felt my breath leave my body. The pig craned his neck up as if expecting a treat. Instead, I lowered the blade and sliced into the tiny animal, it’s shrill bird-like scream rattling my bones. My sword slid through like butter, the pig’s red juices pouring through the wound. I turned away, covering my mouth with my hand in alarm.
“Look at it!” Roger barked from beside me. I turned back to the splattered animal as it made it’s final twitch, the glisten of life dulling in its beady eyes.
I felt a lump in my throat. My nose prickled. The lump traveled down to my chest and I felt myself gag. Suddenly, all at once, vomit spewed from my body.
Roger rubbed my back and, for a moment in my disorientation, I thought he was my father.
He spoke. “War is an ugly business. It’s not about golden armor or glory. It’s about pain and death.” His hand left my back, and the next time he spoke, his voice was further away. “If you’re serious about going to war, I suggest you grow up and understand what you’re getting into—what you're getting your soldiers into. Because killing a man is a hell of a lot harder than what you just did.”
22
Young
I stood outside the bathhouse where Minseo told me to wait for Charlotte. A flutter of nerves raced around my stomach, irritating me. I would not compete with Minseo. If Charlotte still wanted me, she’d return. As I waited, it dawned on me how little I knew about this dragon-riding, dagger-carrying woman in leather. We hadn’t had the chance to share our lost years with each other. I had to admit she hardly resembled the girl I’d dreamt of all those days in captivity. She certainly wasn’t the delicate princess I married. I swallowed the thought as she stepped out of the bathhouse. She wore a pink and white Hanbok, her western features mismatched with her Viran attire, making a traditional garment hundreds of years old new again.
My heart raced. Maybe I’d compete a little.
She handed me her dagger. “I uh, don’t have anywhere to put it.”
I eyed her skirt, the memory of her pulling a sword from her skirt striking me. “It won’t fit in there?” I said. My mind pleaded for her to remember. She flashed me a devious smile that assured me she did.
“Where’s Minseo?” she asked, and all the joy from seeing her melted away. I wrestled my expression to be neutral. Still, her mouth dropped open as if stunned by her own question.
“I mean,” she stammered, “I was meant to meet him here. Are we waiting for him?”
“He’s preparing to leave Vires. He’s going on a mission to turn Camelot’s allies against them. He leaves today.”
Her gaze dropped and she looked lost in thought for a moment before a bright smile lit her face. “Shall we go see Morgana?”
I took her arm to lead the way but couldn’t pull my gaze away from her. We were together in Vires at last. I’d never get used to seeing her dressed like this, and I wasn’t the only one. Despite the fact that every noblewoman in the castle grounds wore some variation of a Hanbok, Charlotte drew the unabashed gaze of every person we passed. She fixed her gaze ahead, seemingly unconscious of the attention. Perhaps she was used to it, or maybe her thoughts lay elsewhere.
As we left th
e castle grounds and moved into the city, Charlotte’s lips parted, her eyes moving from one structure to the next as she took in the city. Viran people filled the streets, all going about their business until they caught a glimpse of the foreign princess, the one who I’m sure had already garnered a reputation as a dragon rider.
I watched as Charlotte’s years as a princess took effect. She smiled and waved, giving special attention to the children who seemed most struck by her presence. I heard what they called her in whispers on the street before crowds of peasants got bold enough to chant it: Dragon Gongju.
She turned to me, her eyes glittering with curiosity. She asked, “What does it mean?”
I took delight in translating. “Dragon Princess.” She smiled thoughtfully, fiddling with her hands, and I wondered if, had her hair been loose, she would have twirled her finger in a curl like she used to.
I felt nervous for her as we neared Gabriel’s home. I knew I was walking into a heavy and emotional moment and was already itching to escape. Even to me, it seemed heartless not to want to share it with her and Morgana, but the truth was, ever since the commotion the previous night, all I could think about was getting a glimpse of that dragon.
We arrived outside Gabriel’s home and I stopped short. “It’s this one here. I’ll be back in a few hours to get you,” I said. Her gaze locked on the door and she moved to it like a woman possessed, blocking me out along with everything else. I had no doubt she was imagining the little girl who was on the other side, and I was relieved she didn’t ask me to stay.
She knocked and I waited only until I heard the door slide open, then I turned back to the city, unsure if I should meet up with Minseo and make sure everything was going well at the market or give in to my curiosity and seek out Charlotte’s dragon.
As if there hadn’t been a choice at all, I headed straight for the edge of town where the dragon was being kept.
It was a decision I was grateful for the moment I arrived.
The dragon’s neck was outstretched, the scales of its face splattered with blood as it tore through an animal I could no longer identify and devoured it. It’s sharp teeth gleamed red, reminding me a bit of Charlotte’s dagger and it’s matching counterpart. The dragon’s size was just as I’d imagined, yet shocking to look at just the same. His glossy eye moved to me and a chill fell down my back. Something so deadly and unpredictable couldn’t possibly exist, yet there it was. What I hadn’t expected was it’s reflective scales that couldn’t be assigned a single color, but if I had to choose just one to describe it, I’d say silver. This was more than what I’d promised the council. I found relief in that fact, though I didn’t know it was a concern that subconsciously dug at me until I was released of it.
I laughed, overcome with the possibilities. We could do it. We could pry Vires from Camelot’s grasp. This dragon was our trump card, a warrior strong enough to turn the tide of a battle. But I had a secret—I’d come to discover a second warrior who I could make formidable in time for the battle. At that very moment, she reunited with the Dragon Princess.
23
Charlotte
I swung the door open to find the soft, loving eyes of Gabriel staring wide-eyed at me. His dark lashes as ever flitted with disbelief. I’d been so focused on getting back to Morgana that I somehow skidded over thoughts of our reunion. Breathless, I pulled him in for a hug. His muscular arms wrapped around me like a soft blanket, making me feel small and child-like.
“It’s true,” he breathed into my hair. “ You’re here.” He started to pull away but I stopped him, squeezing him tightly.
When he spoke again, I could hear the smile in his voice. “How did you escape?” he asked, but I could tell by the sly tone that he already knew and just asked for confirmation. Of course, even with the language barrier, he found a way to stay privy to the kingdom-wide gossip. “Dragon,” I said simply, rubbing my face on his chest.
I dropped my arms and looked up at him, my heart warming from seeing my long lost partner. “Where is she?” I asked as we stepped into the house. I looked up and across the room stood a stunned little girl. Her Hanbok was the same color as mine, her curls pulled back into a single braid. Her lips parted, giving me a glimpse of a growing tooth that hadn’t been there when we got separated. I held my arms out, but instead of the smile I’d imagined, her brow furrowed and she shattered into a mess of tears. We ran together and I lifted her into my arms. Her small frame jostled as she struggled for breaths between sobs. My heart broke just to see her that way, and I understood because I felt the same. I held her tightly to my body, but not as tightly as her tiny arms and legs wrapped around me. She was a touch heavier, maybe a bit taller too. My heart crunched when I realized that, for the first time, I’d missed her birthday.
“It’s okay, baby,” I said, rubbing her back. “We’re together now.”
I took a seat on Gabriel’s couch and cradled Morgana onto my lap. I was taken aback by how quiet she was. This wasn’t the Morgana I knew. The girl I knew was a talker, a storyteller. What I wouldn’t have given to see her perk up and tell one of her tales at that very moment. After a few short minutes, her sniffles slowed and I felt her breathing deepen into a restful sleep. I stared down at her, grateful I’d somehow made it back to her. I never wanted to spend another day away. The sudden rush of all the worries I’d suppressed lifted off me and I had to bite back more tears from bursting forth. I pulled her to my face. “I love you, Morgana,” I whispered.
Gabriel, who had been watching quietly from across the room, took a seat beside me. “Have you seen him?” he asked.
Did he mean Young? I nodded, fearful that the question might push me to reveal too much about my current thoughts on the subject.
He leaned closer as if to ask for more information, but I had nothing more to offer. I hadn’t come close to processing any of it myself.
“It must’ve been a strange night for you. When I heard you’d arrived, and how you arrived,” he held a hand up, “we’ll come back to that later. I knew you’d come by at some point today.” A glint of mischievous intent flickered in his eyes. “How was your night?”
I turned my face away, hoping to block him from reading anything from my eyes or face, then answered as indifferently as I could muster. “I uh, was tired. I stayed with Young and—”
He gasped. “What did Minseo say?”
I chewed on my lip. “He slept outside the door.”
Gabriel’s face lit so brightly that you would’ve thought he’d been crowned king. “So what are you going to do?”
I tossed around his question for a moment before answering. “There’s nothing to do. I’m married to Young.”
His dark eyes widened, putting his thick lashes on full display. His eyebrows rose and his mouth fell open. “But—”
“But what?”
He slid his palms down across his face. “Say it.”
I shook my head in confusion as if this small action could jolt my brain back into the conversation. “Say what?”
“You still love Minseo.”
I rubbed Morgana’s arm for comfort and to make sure she was still asleep. My heartbeat suddenly drew my attention. Finally, the denial of Gabriel’s claim came to my lips, but I didn’t speak it.
A jewel of an idea slipped into my head and I flipped my gaze back to Gabe. “How are things with Junho?” I asked.
It happened in a flash, but I could swear I saw a touch of pink on his cheeks. “What? Nothing. What do you mean? We’re friends.”
It was too many answers in too short a time to be innocent.
“So you guys haven’t...?”
His gaze drifted to the top left of his field of vision, a tell I’d come to know was for memory. “No, of course not. Have you seen him yet? Did he say something?”
Guilty. I’d struck a nerve, just as he had with me. In surrender, we changed the subject to Morgana, but even that led back to the same place. “Minseo visits nearly every day,” Gabriel explained
. “But lately Young has been taking her hiking. A couple of times this week and once last week. I think they’re starting to bond. Morgana seems excited to go.”
I smiled weakly, alerting him to the fact that we once again strayed into volatile territory. My heart already knew Gabriel was right. Just like my reunion with Gabe, I’d felt the greatest sense of peace and joy when I saw Young again. But nothing could touch the burn I felt for Minseo. My only option was to deny the truth until I found a way to douse the flames.
The ties of love that pulled me had become a convoluted web. I started to miss the simplicity of war.
24
Merlin
I must’ve searched the whole castle a hundred times before I let myself believe that Charlotte left me. I ran through our last conversation, again and again, wondering how I’d missed it. Why would she confide in me her greatest secret and then leave me here to die? A guilty conscience? Some skewed perception of reality?
I was bleeding out and I’d noticed my magic had become as volatile as it was when I was a child. Even Arthur’s wintery gaze, heavy with disappointment and disgust, reminded me of my mother who had disowned me. She just left. I wasn’t sure which emotion was most prominent. Anger, sadness, loss, disappointment. How could she just leave like that? How could she take Garix with her? Didn’t she know how much he’d meant to me? Didn’t she know what would happen to me if she left me behind? How much she put my life at risk? All the questions had me spiraling, and now that Charlotte had ruined the courtyard for me, the only place I felt somewhat normal was the castle dungeon.
I didn’t know I’d get one, but I needed a win immediately. I needed to prove to Arthur that I was still on his side and that I could make up for my mistake.
I could help him get the dragon back. He’d already announced his decision to go to war with Vires. If I helped him prepare the troops and made myself useful to him, maybe, just maybe, I could win back his favor. I needed to do something. Every step in the castle felt hostile. Not just from Arthur either. The other knights, soldiers, and courtiers looked at me the same way, as a traitor, like I’d helped Charlotte escape. Like she hadn’t left me here to die.
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