And Lance, Lance was a different story altogether. He looked at me like I was wounded, exchanging half-smiles and clearing the room when I entered. Once I thought I saw him scold some soldiers for glaring at me, but I must’ve been mistaken. I felt utterly isolated. If Lance was taking pity on me, things were worse than I’d imagined.
No matter how many times I put myself on the line to be close to someone, I kept coming back to the same truth. I couldn’t count on anyone but myself. Humans, in general, had always proved themselves huge disappointments. For once, I didn’t want to belong to them. I stormed through the hallways, headed for the peaceful solitude of my training dungeons. I stopped short when Lance stood outside the staircase that led down. Was he waiting for me?
He looked as puzzled to see me as I was to see him.
“Hey, Merlin,” he said, turning away shyly.
“Move,” I barked, and with a wave of my hand, I pushed him face-first into the stone wall and held him there until I passed. Ugh. Sharks always circled when they smelled blood in the water.
25
Charlotte
I was glad to make it back to Gabriel’s house before Morgana woke up.
I didn’t want to leave Morgana during her nap. She’d suffered enough. I was assured by Gabriel that she’d been her same storytelling self and he was confident she’d return to form once she adjusted to seeing me again. I longed to see her that way, the carefree little girl I loved. Then I’d know for sure she was okay. I wanted to stay and hold her all day, but I didn’t have a chance to check on Garix and I was beginning to worry that, without instruction, he could become dangerous.
I slipped out, and when I got to the farm at the edge of town, I knew I’d worried for nothing. Instead of the fire-breathing, human-eating creature he looked like, I arrived to find him playfully chasing the livestock. True, the animals he played with would likely become his lunch later, but he was as soft-hearted as Merlin, the woman who raised him.
My stomach tightened as I thought of her. Her beauty, her silent strength. I hoped she was doing well and missed the feeling of having her around. “Please, forgive me,” I whispered to the air as I watched Garix.
I stepped over the fence, a frail set of wooden poles that Garix could have leveled with a sneeze, and he turned to me. He wiggled his nose in recognition but quickly turned his attention to a goat who appeared so frazzled he could’ve laid an egg.
A chuckle sounded from behind me and I turned to see Young outside the pen. Had he been there the whole time? Leaving Garix to play, I turned and walked to Young.
“For some reason, he reminds me of you,” Young said, his hands crossed behind his back.
The ground was uneven, but I was struck by how tall he seemed to me. Had he grown while he was away? “I only terrorize goats on special occasions,” I said.
He half-smiled, but his gaze was intense and searching. I wondered if I was as difficult to read as he was. I scanned his face and felt a chill run through me. My mind still struggled to comprehend having him back. All this time he had been an invisible force I tapped into to get through life’s difficult moments, a kind of religion.
He’d been so far for so long and, even in the best of times, Young wasn’t much for sharing his thoughts or feelings. Most of what I knew of him came from his actions five years ago and the stories I told myself in order to explain them.
He was more of a stranger to me than when I’d first met him, and something about that hurt me when we were together.
“Young?” I said.
He turned his gaze back to Garix as if he knew and feared what I was going to ask next.
“Will you tell me about what happened?”
“You mean after you escaped?”
“Yes.”
He shrugged. “I was captured and brought to Camelot.”
“That’s it?”
“What else do you want to know?”
“Everything. I want to know you—”
“I have to go,” he said suddenly.
“Where?”
He shook his head.
I continued, “Where are you running to? Why do you keep running away from me?”
“Because it hurts to be around you.”
I felt my heartbeat in my throat and I swallowed my sudden desire to let him walk away.
“Let’s talk it through. Let’s build something again.”
“Build what? Everything’s broken!” he shouted.
I froze, stunned by the rare display of emotion.
“You belong to Minseo now and Vires belongs to Camelot.”
I felt my body numb. Where was this coming from? “We all thought you were dead. Any of us would have done whatever we could to get you back alive.”
“And if I was dead, everyone and everything would be better off.”
I took a step toward him. “That’s not true. We can fix all of this. We can beat Camelot. You and I can start over.”
“How can we start over?”
“We can talk everything through.”
“Okay,” he said, walking up to me. He glared down at me. “Tell me, Charlotte, are you in love with Minseo?”
I held his gaze. “Yes.”
He turned to walk away and I was grateful not to see the hurt in his eyes.
“Stop. Don’t go,” I called.
He turned back. “Why shouldn’t I?”
“Because we can find a way to overcome this.”
“What do you want? You want me to win you?”
“I want you to stay and fight for us. Make an effort. Work with me to fix this.”
He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have to fight for the love of my own wife.”
He walked away and headed towards the farmer’s house, instead of his own.
Instead of going after him, or even watching him go, I turned my gaze to Garix and fought the urge to cry. I understood Young’s anger. It was an impossible situation. My feelings for Minseo had grown from bonding over Young’s death, but that gave little comfort to this situation. I was glad, at least, that Young had expressed his frustration. It was a step forward, but the trouble with moving forward is that, while you move toward something, you move away from something else.
I was consumed by guilt and uneasiness. I hadn’t intended on hurting anyone, especially Young. All three of us suffered and there was no easy remedy.
Garix cocked his neck back and screeched into the sky, startling me. As the shrill sound traveled through the mountains of Vires, I recognized it as my own sadness, a mournful shade of dark blue. Garix blinked again blankly and then returned to chasing the terrified livestock. But the sound echoed inside me.
My thoughts drifted to Minseo. The levity of his presence, his warmth, and I wished I could’ve said goodbye. I wished I could crawl into his arms where I felt invincible and strong.
Garix shot into the air, landing in front of me with a gust of wind. He lowered himself to the ground, the way he always did before we flew.
The decision to chase after Minseo wasn’t mine; it was more of Garix’s suggestion. At least, that’s what I told myself, even if I was acutely aware that his emotions and actions were bound to mine. Minseo was an impulse, one I couldn't let go.
Any feelings I had for him were wrong, weren’t they? And, though I still intended to work through things with Young, he certainly wasn’t making it easy. In the last few minutes, something major had changed. I’d confessed to Young that I loved Minseo. It was no longer hidden, not from Young and certainly not from myself. Minseo was likely the only one who didn’t know. I traced my fingertips along Garix’s wings. Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to say a quick goodbye.
26
Minseo
The market buzzed with life, the air heavy with unique smells and bright colors as merchants shouted at passersby waving their assorted goods. Some had tables draped with fine cloth and elegantly displayed fruit, weaponry, or jewels. Others had their vegetables or carvings laid out on woven mats in front of
them. There was so much to touch and look at, it was easy to lose time there, but I had no time to waste. I needed to find a foreign merchant quickly.
I made my way through the rows of stalls, the merchants there as diverse and colorful as the goods they sold. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, catching the sun’s rays on my face. I took a deep breath and listened for any language that wasn’t Viran.
“That’s a good way to get robbed, Your Majesty,” a gruff voice barked.
I opened my eyes to see a man in his late fifties with a long beard and a lumpy purple hat that had a black feather in it. English. His clothes were a bit odd for Vires, but I couldn’t place his kingdom just by looking at him.
“What’s a good way to get robbed?”
“Close your eyes in this market. There are pickpockets everywhere.”
I cocked my head to the side. “Where?” I asked, wondering if I was out of touch, naive, or if this man was simply paranoid.
He pointed his scarred hand at a group of little boys playing near a fruit stall.
Oh, great. This guy was never going to be credible enough to convince his king that we had a dragon. Before I could answer, he started shouting at the group.
“Hey, you!” he yelled. “Kid! Give the prince his sword back.”
I reached for my sword and, sure enough, felt the empty sheath. No possible way.
The kid turned to run and the man shouted, “He’ll have you beheaded.”
The boys huddled into a group before pushing forward the smallest among them. He couldn’t have been much older than Morgana. He bowed his head with shame as he held my bare sword out in front of him. It was alarming to see a child that small holding a sword, let alone imagine that he’d stolen it without me noticing. I carefully lifted the sword from his small hands, but he didn’t look up to see my forgiving smile.
“You,” I whispered in Viran, “be a good boy.”
He nodded to me without looking up and backed away until his group grabbed him and they vanished behind the mass of people.
When I spun back to the old man who warned me, he’d already disappeared into the crowd. Luckily, his hat was distinct enough for me to track him down. “Sir,” I called, weaving through a swarm of people. “Thank you for your help. I’m Prince Minseo.”
“Levario,” he said. I was a little struck that he didn’t bow. He didn’t reach to shake my hand either.
“May I ask where you’re from?”
“Faresa,” he said.
I knew it. It was on our side of the Jin Sea and only recently pulled into the alliance. He was a perfect candidate for my mission. “Are you leaving today?” I asked, hoping I’d already found a suitable partner.
“Are you kidding? Do you see this crowd? I can’t leave today. It’s a gold mine.”
I scanned the crowded street and nodded. “Ah, yes, I see.”
“This is a once in a lifetime haul. They’re stalking up on luxuries before the alliance tax hits.”
Ah. I hadn’t accounted for that. Still, Faresa was a perfect place to start as it was closer to Vires than Camelot, which would be ideal in a battle. If this was a good trade day, I’d likely run into the same problem with anyone else.
“You know what else is a once in a lifetime experience?” I said. “Seeing a dragon.”
His eyes lit but his face remained neutral. “So the rumors are true.”
I had him. “Don’t you think this information would be worth more to your king than an extra few sales at the market?” His gaze skidded across the crowd. I cleared my throat to regain his attention. “Listen, I’ll take you to see the dragon, and in exchange you leave for Faresa today and allow me to accompany you on your trip.”
He sighed in defeat. “Fine, fine. Let me gather my things. But if I find out you’re lying—” I raised an eyebrow. It certainly was a strange way to address royalty, but it amused me.
Noticing my surprise, he pressed his lips together. He turned away and waved me to follow.
A few minutes later, we’d escaped the cluster of people in the market and found ourselves wandering through a nearly deserted Vires. It really had been a great market day. Levario was quiet as we neared the farm on the edge of town. I was surprised to see Young standing at the edge of the farm, his gaze locked on the shimmering beast. I realized that Levario had stopped walking a few steps back. I turned to urge him forward but saw a softened man with tear-filled eyes. Perhaps that was the correct reaction to witnessing such a creature, a miracle. He wiped his eyes, unashamed and unbothered by my gaze.
We walked toward the dragon, a bit slower than the pace we used to get there, and while Levario drank in the sight of the dragon, I searched for the girl who flew him to Vires. When we reached Young, he turned to me with a neutral expression. His face lit when he saw Levario beside me. “Oh, is this your merchant? Which kingdom are you going to first?” he asked.
“Faresa,” Levario said bluntly.
I giggled, becoming more amused with him every moment.
“Oh, that’s perfect,” Young said, ignoring Levario’s rough greeting.
Young turned back to the dragon. “She named it Garix.”
I looked at the beast as it playfully chased the livestock around the fenced-in land. Did she? Where was she? I wondered, but I knew better than to ask. Still, why was Young so hesitant to spend time with Charlotte? If she was my wife— I stopped. I took a deep breath of surrender and turned my attention to Levario. “Shall we go?”
He nodded but kept his gaze locked on the dragon, unwilling to turn away.
That afternoon, as we neared Vires’ southern border, Levario, his trade cart, and I were plunged into darkness as a gust of wind whipped us. Three seconds of unsettling confusion passed before I realized the shadow blocking the sun was a dragon that stalked us, and that the true danger was on its back.
Levario comforted the horses who bucked with alarm as Charlotte landed her dragon a few yards away. I walked over to meet her, my heartbeat wild as I neared. The dragon was not still and statuesque like it had been the first time I saw it. It craned its neck, curiously absorbing its surroundings. Charlotte, however, had her gaze fixed on me and she didn’t look happy. She stood with her arms crossed as I approached. She was back in her leather suit, but her hair was pulled into a single braid though several of her curls had been pulled free from it by the wind.
When I reached her, her gaze traveled down my body and back up in appraisal. “You weren’t going to say goodbye?”
My cheeks burned. I could’ve sworn this woman enjoyed making me crazy. “I thought it best if I just slipped out. You know, give you some time to figure things out.”
She chewed her bottom lip for a moment then spoke, “How long will you be gone?”
The guilt hit my stomach before I made the move, my eyes jutting to Levario to check if we were being watched, but the gray-bearded merchant’s attention was consumed by Garix and I wasn’t sure if it was for the sake of privacy for me and Charlotte or curiosity about the dragon.
When I turned back to Charlotte, I could see a distinct blush across her cheeks as if she knew what I was checking for, but, except for the free tendrils of her hair dancing in the wind, she remained motionless. If she wanted a difficult goodbye, I’d give her one. I stepped toward her and pulled her body to mine with greater force than I’d intended. I felt her knees buckle and I was certain that if I let her go, she’d drop to the ground. Instead, I rubbed her cheek with my thumb like she had done to me when she first arrived in Vires, and I leaned in close. I gazed into her dark eyes and saw the answers to the questions that had been plaguing me for months. Yes, she still loved me. No, she didn’t want me to let go. Nothing had changed. Her bottom lip quivered as I threatened to lean closer and kiss her, but the whole reason I’d volunteered for this trip was to give her time to sort through her feelings. She was still Young’s wife. I felt the push of her chest as she breathed heavily and her heart raced. My body responded. If I didn’t let go
now, I wouldn’t be able to.
“Minseo,” she said, “can I ask you something?”
“Yes,” I said, my thoughts in tune with every movement of her body beneath my fingers.
“Do you think a man should have to fight for the love of his wife?” she asked, her eyes a little dewy.
The word “love” on her lips took me back to the months we’d spent together. I thought of the nights she’d whispered to me in the darkness, and the joy I’d felt when she agreed to marry me. I felt myself smile, half lost in the memory and said, “Every day of his life.”
Levario cleared his throat, pulling our attention. I quickly pressed my lips to her ear. “Goodbye Charlotte,” I whispered, pulling her body tight to mine one last time before I released her.
As soon as we parted, my blood ran cold. Was my decision to leave going to break this love of ours? Was I pushing her to Young, like I’d accused him of doing to me? Fear tore through me and I felt my sure steps toward the cart slow. I looked back over my shoulder at Charlotte, and my fears vanished. I saw everything there, on her face. The dazed dream-like expression, the gentle smile. The red of her collarbone. She understood that this was not goodbye and that there was nowhere I could travel where she wouldn’t be with me.
Out of respect for my brother, I would leave for this mission. I’d give him a chance to reconnect with her and give Charlotte enough time to know for sure how she felt. I trusted that what Charlotte and I had was strong enough to endure this test. I trusted her to make the choice that was best for her and planned to accept it, even if after everything she chose Young. However, if I came back and her heart still belonged to me, I was going to take her and never let her go again.
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