As I mounted my horse, I felt like myself again. The version of me that I thought had died with my brother. But if Young could be resurrected, why couldn’t I?
27
Young
My face was hot and I felt myself cringe every time the memory of my argument with Charlotte slipped back in. After lunch at the farm, I noticed Charlotte had taken Garix out, so I slunk to the throne room to distract myself with the council.
I was relieved that I arrived to find them passionately debating the war. A perfectly suited distraction. While they’d agreed to send Minseo to try to draw allies to our cause, his was a mission of subtlety. The council was still undecided on the war.
Everyone agreed we should prepare in case Arthur came for Charlotte’s dragon, or if he heard of our plans to gather allies. Only a few members were convinced the war was a wise decision.
After everything I’d seen, there was no risk too great to reclaim Vires’ independence. But until Minseo returned with confirmed allies, I had nothing to convince them. Hours of the same arguments going back and forth dragged on.
Suddenly my heart sank as Charlotte walked into the throne room and over to the table where the council met. I, along with the other council members, gaped at her, none of us certain on how to react to her presence. She didn’t know anything about the customs and proceedings of our system, and if she did, she’d know she wasn’t welcome to speak there. And worse, I’d just yelled at her and was attempting to use this meeting as a much-needed escape. What could she possibly have to say?
My stomach churned with anticipation. She turned her gaze at my father. No. She wasn’t actually going to address the king?
“Your Majesty,” she said.
My heart raced and I vehemently debated intervening.
“I wish to thank you for your hospitality.”
The room fell silent and several of the council members turned away in discomfort.
“You are most welcome,” he said, and the room collectively let out a sigh of relief.
“I wish to discuss my dragon and his place in Vires.”
The king nodded.
Charlotte divided her attention among the members of the council evenly. “I would like to swear my and Garix’s allegiances to Vires. I realize that my presence here has put Vires in danger. In exchange for our sanctuary, we will fight on your behalf should a war break out.”
She spoke like a queen, her voice full and sure, her posture straight, her gaze piercing as it moved from one person to the next.
“The dragon follows my commands alone as a consequence of my participation in its birth. He is still very young but grows rapidly in size, power, and endurance. With help, we could train him to be a valuable asset in battle. He may even be able to outmatch Arthur’s battle mage, Merlin.”
She pulled a wisp of hair out of her face, and her gaze fell to me for a moment that left me too breathless to anticipate her next words.
“I know it’s not my place, but I believe, given enough time, we can win a war with Camelot.”
The king eyed her, cautiously planning his reply. “Do you not understand what is at stake?” he asked.
“Yes, Your Majesty, I do. I understand better than anyone else in this room as I’ve suffered the loss of my family and my kingdom.”
Silence hung in the air.
“You may lose those again,” the king said.
“Not this time.”
My father stroked his chin. “And what of your daughter? What of your husband? Are their lives worth the risk?”
She took a deep breath through her nose and her gaze once again fell to me. “I can tell you that the guilt from feeling responsible, when your kingdom falls, is a burden greater than death.”
I tore my gaze away from her. She may have been here on my behalf, but I wasn’t ready to forgive her.
Sensing her case had been made, she bowed and hurried out of the hall, leaving the rest of us in contemplative silence.
Even with her compelling speech, the council bickered throughout the week, unable to commit to the war. I made sure to take Morgana out for what we were calling hiking, but I still needed more time away from Charlotte. It wasn’t her fault, my mind screamed, but even if it wasn’t, it still hurt. It hurt to look at her. It hurt to want her. But, more than anything, I was afraid. What would happen if I did fight for her and still lost her to Minseo?
The person who plagued my every thought night after night while trapped in Bullhorn was gone. Five years apart had changed her. It changed us both. What if we found out we didn’t fit together anymore? I could understand why it happened, but even so, I didn’t want her to be with Minseo.
If I didn’t find a way to think about something else, I would drive myself to the brink of insanity. So I focused on the political situation in Vires as it was only slightly less hopeless than my problems with Charlotte.
For the moment, my main concern was convincing the council to go to war, and it seemed like they’d never commit to attacking Camelot unless forced, until a vile stranger arrived on the shores of the Jin Sea. Sir Galahad of Camelot.
The moment Galahad reached the the Jin sea, reports from our borders started coming in. Sir Galahad and twenty of his soldiers had boarded a ship bound for Vires, claiming to be on a tax collecting mission.
The council had gone into a frenzy. Did we plan to pay their tax? Should we send Charlotte and her dragon away? Should we meet him at the coast with the money to stop him from sniffing out any information? Should we take him as a prisoner to aid us in the potential war?
My father raised his hand to hush the chaos. “We will send Charlotte and her dragon to meet up with Minseo in Faresa immediately.”
My breath caught.
He continued, “We will triple the presence of our soldiers in the capital city. Enough for a show of strength, but not enough to lead him to believe we are preparing for war.”
Hanbit asked, “Do we plan to pay the tax?”
The king spoke again, his voice commanding attention with its subtlety. “Yes, but this will be the final time we pay. We will treat him and his soldiers with hospitality and begin full war preparations after he departs.”
The room buzzed with preparations. Despite having a sizable military force, Vires always favored diplomatic solutions. Even now, my father had the option of paying the tax and walking away without a life lost, but after Charlotte’s speech, and the unannounced and thinly veiled scouting mission by Galahad, Arthur had pushed my father too far. Our soldiers were skilled but lacked battle experience. They’d been thoroughly trained, but most never dealt a fatal blow. Camelot was a ruthless force, even before they earned the name and left Drethen behind. They were experienced, brutal, and had far greater numbers and resources than us. However, just as we wanted out of the alliance, I was certain other kingdoms did too. They would be our only hope in defeating Arthur. And it seemed like Minseo was our only hope.
My stomach was in knots. This was what I’d been waiting for. We’d finally begin a full mobilization of our troops for war—but once again Charlotte would be reunited with Minseo. It was like some invisible force pulled them together. Even when Charlotte and I had good times, I’d always felt that same force tearing us apart; our wedding had been canceled, Emmett tried to steal her, her family was killed, her kingdom fell, and then I was captured and imprisoned while she believed I was dead. Somehow all of those things served to bring her and Minseo together. I’d finally had enough. Charlotte was my wife. I didn’t care if God himself was against it. If she was leaving to see Minseo tomorrow, I only had tonight to remind her who the better man was.
I stood, drawing the attention of the chattering council members. “I’ll inform and prepare Charlotte for her journey,” I said. If Charlotte wanted a fight, I’d give her one.
28
Charlotte
I tilted my face to the sun as Morgana recounted the mostly true story about our time apart.
“And then,” she said,
“I told Minnow not to be sad and put a happy spell on him.”
I grinned, feeling warmth in every facet of the word. “Oh. He was very lucky to have you around.” My thoughts moved to Young. I’d been told he took Morgana hiking, but she hadn’t mentioned it. “What about Young? You’ve been spending time together too, right?”
She nodded. “Hiking.”
That’s it? I waited for her to continue, to regale me with a tale about how they discovered a unicorn or defeated a Minotaur. One word answers were uncharacteristic for her. I fiddled with her curls and decided to gently press about it. “Oh, and how is that?”
She turned away and looked at the sky. “Mommy, do you really have a dragon?”
I sat up quickly. “Yes, would you like to see him?”
Her eyes bulged. “B-but you told me they weren’t real!”
“I was wrong. His name is Garix and his scales shine and he’s very kind.”
Her gaze on my face was so focused as she contemplated each word that I wanted to keep talking forever. I could see her mind racing from the flit of her eyelashes to the far-away gleam in her eyes. My heart swelled. I’d missed her so much. I had no idea how I even survived without her for so long.
“That’s how I got back to you. I climbed on his back and flew all the way here.”
She lowered her head, looking up at me with a deliberate gaze. “I need to meet him.”
Inching forward, I tapped on the tip of her nose. “Let’s go.”
Morgana leapt from the blanket and grabbed my hand, pulling me along before I could gather my belongings. “Wait, honey! We have to get our things.”
“Mom!” she said, her eyes bulging. “There’s a dragon. I need to meet him.”
I bit back laughter as I grabbed our blanket and water pail, scrambling to put them into my bag as Morgana bounced around like the delay brought her physical pain.
I slung my bag over my shoulder and followed Morgana as she skipped through the forest on the outskirts of town.
“Charlotte!” a voice called.
Through the trees, I saw Young walking towards us. Even through the greenery, I could see he had an energy about him I hadn’t seen since his return. My body pulsed; we hadn’t spoken since our fight the night before. Morgana ran to him.
“Careful, Morgana,” Young and I said in unison. Young squatted down and Morgana leapt onto his back, a sort of dance that appeared to be well-rehearsed. Amused, I hurried to join them.
“We were just headed to visit Garix,” I said when I was close enough to be heard easily. “Would you like to join us.”
Young smiled, giving my stomach a quick jolt of surprise. “Absolutely. Actually, Charlotte, I have something important to talk to you about later.”
Morgana squirmed.
Young laughed. “It can wait, though. Dragon first.”
I pressed my lips together to suppress the sudden rush of nerves. Young's smile affected me just as Minseo running his hand through his hair often did. I was starting to think that, not only did they know that, they were using it to their advantage.
“Dragon first,” I repeated.
We walked along the outskirts of town, a grassy path outside the walls overrun with wildflowers. Morgana chatted incessantly, and I found myself clutching to this memory as we made it. It was odd, but even though we were a family on paper, it felt too new to be familiar. Our threesome didn’t possess the familiarity it had with Gabe or the ease of Minseo, but it felt nice. It was the kind of afternoon I’d fantasized about for five years. Although I no longer felt the same about him, I wanted nothing more than for us to play this part—a fantasy glimpse of what might’ve been. Each time his gaze fell to me and he smiled, I felt a flare of heat that unlocked a truth I had buried away. It was entirely possible for me to fall back in love with Young. I’d done it once, and the power he’d once held over my every emotion remained. Wouldn’t it be better for everyone if I did? For everyone except Minseo.
As if he could hear my thoughts, Young’s hand brushed mine. I remember you.
When we arrived at the farm, Morgana squirmed off Young’s back and thrust herself over the fence. I was alarmed at how fearlessly she charged up to Garix. Be still, I willed to Garix.
In the light of the afternoon sun, Garix’s scales shone brightly. I could imagine how magical he looked, standing alone in the grassy field, his gaze fixed on the small child frantically charging him.
Morgana threw her arms around Garix’s neck. I felt a twinge at the bottom of my stomach, violet. My heart fluttered at the sensation. Garix liked her. Young and I hurried to catch up, me because I was curious about what she was saying to him and Young because he felt nervous about her being so close to such a large and unpredictable creature. But for me, Garix was predictable. He remained still as a doll as Morgana patted his lizard-like head.
“Show me your wings,” Morgana said.
My stomach dropped when Garix ignored my command for Morgana’s and stretched his wings out in front of her.
I gasped, running over to Morgana’s wrist to check for the same metal band that allowed me to control Garix, but her tiny wrist was unmarred.
“What’s wrong?” Young asked, his gaze moving between the dragon and me.
I lowered my voice so Morgana couldn’t hear us. “He disobeyed me.”
“Should we get her out of there?”
I traced a finger over the metal band on my wrist, the one born from the dragon egg. “I think she’s safe. But I don’t know why he did what she said. I… I didn’t think that was possible.”
“Do you think it’s because of her magic?”
Stunned, I turned to him. “You know about that? Has there been another incident?”
“I wouldn’t say incident. She’s getting a bit more used to it, I think. Minseo and Gabriel have been keeping a close eye on it.”
“I was going to tell you. Do you think it’s from your side or mine?”
He shrugged. “Do you have magical people in your family?”
I shook my head. “Do you?”
We laughed together at the absurdity. Until I took a deep breath, resting my hands on my hips. Young took me by the waist and kissed me. My heart raced. In a panic, I stepped back, my shock reflected in his expression. The click of the kiss rang in my ears, the softness of it still tingling on my lips.
We stared at each other as I made my best effort to pin down a single emotion, as each one flew through me, driving me wild until I grabbed hold of one. Curiosity. Was loving Young the same as I’d remembered? What would that feel like, if we tried it again?
His voice broke my train of thought. “We need you to travel to Faresa tomorrow with Garix.”
“Oh. Is something—”
“We just don’t want Garix to be here when the knights come to collect the taxes.”
I nodded. “You can tell your father I’ll be ready.”
I noticed Young’s cheeks flush before he spoke again. “I was thinking that, since I won’t see you for a little while, maybe you could stay with me tonight.”
“Oh.”
He bit his bottom lip. “I mean, you don’t have to if—”
“No,” I said, pressing my hands to my stomach to ease the rush I felt there.
“No?” his eyes bulged.
“No, I mean yes. I—”
He smiled, causing me to melt and for the overwhelming sensation of curiosity to take hold. I mean, I knew what might happen if I went, even if I promised myself I wouldn’t let it go that far, but I’d asked him to give us a real chance. How could I deny him now?
I felt my body shake and it reminded me a lot of how I’d felt on our wedding night all those years ago. My mind drifted to the man who slept outside Young’s room on my first night in Vires. Wasn’t this why he left, so I could explore my feelings for Young? I swallowed my frustration, determined to hide it from Young. Someone was going to get hurt; there was no way around it.
29
Lancelot
I lay back in my bed, closed my eyes, and replayed my memories of her, particularly the ones where she was fond of me. Back when we were close. Had I done or said something to make myself more desirable? The one time I’d called her beautiful, she reacted negatively. So what was it?
My eyes opened as the answer slipped in. Gwen. I’d been pining for Gwen for the entire four years Merlin and I were on the road. Maybe what she liked most about me was the competition with Gwen.
I sat up. If my relationship with Gwen drew her interest in me to begin with, it could do it again. My thoughts tripped over a potential snag. If I let Gwen in on my plan, she might get jealous and sabotage it. I needed her to play the part of a jealous girlfriend, but in a very specific way. No, she’d have to be left in the dark, and after I murdered Merlin, I’d be able to explain everything.
My stomach was wracked with nerves as I waited for night to come and my plan to commence. As usual, after midnight, Gwen slipped into my room.
I gulped with anticipation as she kissed my neck, knowing that what I was about to do to Gwen was just as dangerous as driving my sword into Merlin’s heart.
She climbed on top of me and, taking control until my room filled with the steady thrum of my bedpost hitting my bedroom wall, my body surged with heat and adrenaline as I waited for my moment. Gwen’s eyes rolled back, her pace suddenly erratic. Now. “Yeah, Merlin,” I moaned. “Yes, Merlin.” I yelled this time louder to make sure she heard me. Gwen froze. Her eyes wide, the color drained from her face. She leapt off of me, pulling the blanket up to cover her exposed breasts. Her mouth dropped open and she blinked silently at me with disbelief. “Wh-what did you say?”
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