The guy might actually be good for Hailey, a voice somewhere in my head pointed out. I gave the voice a mental whack with the wrench, even though it had a point.
As Grandma explained to her grandson that Hailey wanted to be a physical therapist and help kids, I tightened the last nut and straightened. “There you go,” I said. “Tire’s changed.”
Craig glanced down at the tire and disappointment landed briefly on his face. It had nothing to do with him wanting to be the one who changed the tire for his granny. To be her hero. He just wanted more time to steal my girl. Asswipe.
“Maybe you two would like to get together for coffee.” Grandma looked between Hailey and Craig.
Craig lifted an eyebrow. “I’d like that if you’re game.”
Hailey glanced at me for a heartbeat before looking back at him. “Uh…sure.”
What did I expect? Yes, we had kissed, but we both knew that couldn’t go anywhere right now. I should be happy that she was ready to move on after what the douchebag of an ex-boyfriend had done to her.
While I put the flat tire and jack in his grandmother’s trunk, he programmed Hailey’s number into his phone. It took everything I had and then some not to slam the trunk shut harder than necessary.
He thanked me for helping his grandmother, the entire time eyeing me the way most people did when they recognize me but can’t figure out where they knew me from. He wasn’t a fan of the band. He’d just seen my picture a few times.
Hailey and I returned to my car and climbed in. “Are you really going out with him?” I asked as we drove away.
“I wouldn’t say I’m going out with him. I’m meeting him for coffee. Big difference.”
I remained silent the rest of the way home, stewing over emotions I had no right feeling. Dying on the inside at what the woman’s flat tire had cost me.
Once home, I brooded in my room and worked on the song I’d been writing for the past few days. I knew I needed to talk to Hailey, but I just couldn’t deal with it all right now. I had to get lost in my music first. I needed to finish the current song I was working on, which was almost ready to share with Jared.
By the time I’d fiddled with the final verse to the point where I was happy with it, the sun was low in the sky. I started playing it through once again but had only made it to the second verse when the opening strains of an Aerosmith song came from my phone. Jared.
I accepted the call. “Hey, man. I’m almost finished with the song.”
“That’s great.” A pregnant pause fell between us, which was odd given that Jared had phoned me. “How’re things going?”
“Great, but I still can’t go back to L.A. yet. I have…things to deal with here first.”
Another long pause. “I’m joining you. It’s just too hard writing songs this way.”
Fuck. “Look, give me another week. If I still can’t return to L.A. next week, you can join me.”
“Fine, you’ve got a week. But then it won’t be just me joining you. The whole band will fly out. Otherwise there’s no way we’ll be ready in time.”
Double fuck. Once they showed up, I wouldn’t have time for Hailey anymore. But maybe it wouldn’t be so bad having the band here. They’d be a distraction to keep me from remembering.
Only problem was, where the hell were we going to work?
Chapter 20
Hailey
While Nolan was in his room, talking on the phone, I started cooking dinner, even though he’d originally planned to make it. I needed to distract myself while he was busy. Something about him on the drive home had been off. It had been that way since we’d pulled over to help the woman with her flat tire…and I knew why. It wasn’t because I’d told Craig I would go out with him for coffee. Nolan was returning to L.A. soon. We both knew that. Plus Nolan didn’t feel the same way about me that I felt about him. No, Nolan was remembering. Despite his plans to do otherwise, he was beginning to remember the night his father killed Nolan’s mother and sister. Maybe not everything, but enough to leave him off balance.
And that worried me.
By the time Nolan returned from his room, the seafood fettuccine was on the table. Cue candles and music, and it would have looked like a romantic dinner.
He sat down. “Wow, this looks great. But wasn’t I going to cook?”
“You were busy and I was bored.” I popped a garlicky scallop in my mouth. It practically melted on contact with my tongue, thanks to Kayla having taught me a thing or two about cooking.
Nolan and I didn’t say anything at first, the air around us off-kilter. I couldn’t tell what Nolan was thinking, and it drove me nuts. It had never used to be like this between us. I used to always know what he was thinking. I used to know what to say to him to make him feel better.
“You’re remembering, aren’t you?” I didn’t want to cause him more pain. I wanted to help him rip off the proverbial Band-Aid, but sometimes ripping it off wasn’t the way to go. Sometimes you needed to gently peel it away to avoid leaving the individual raw and exposed. The trick was knowing which way was best at that particular moment.
He froze, his gaze fixed on his food, a slight tremble to his hand.
“It’ll be okay, Nolan.” I’ll be there for you. I’ll never let you deal with this alone again. Not as long as you let me in like you used to.
“How can you say that?” His words came out as a choked whisper, confirming my suspicions. He was remembering. As much as he didn’t want to, he couldn’t stop it, not unless he left Northbridge and returned to L.A. And maybe even then the memories would still come, unable to stop now the floodgate had been pried open. “I didn’t stop it from happening, and…and maybe I’m just like him and I don’t know it yet.” The final words were no longer a whisper. They were harsh, bitter, intended to cause pain. Not to me; the pain was all his own, and that made the hurt inside me even stronger.
“You’re not like him,” I said. “You’re nothing like him, Nolan, and you never will be.”
Nolan slammed his fork on the plate, metal clinking against ceramic, and I jumped. “You don’t know that.” He pushed away from the table. “I don’t want to talk about this.” He stormed off.
I rushed after him and gently grabbed his arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” When he still wouldn’t look at me, I placed my hand on his face and guided it so he was forced to look at me. “You need to trust me. I only want to help you. You know that, right?”
He studied my eyes for a second, then nodded. “I do trust you. But I’m not ready to remember.” He looked away. “I’m scared. I’m afraid of remembering what I did or didn’t do to save them. I’m terrified of having to relive it again and again.”
I brushed my lips against his cheek. “I know you’re scared, Nolan. But I’m here for you. No matter what, I’m here for you.”
He hugged me, body shaking, face buried in my hair, and whispered, “I know.”
We stayed like this for several heartbeats before he finally pulled away. His wall was sliding back into place, even if there were now holes in it that hadn’t been there before. He still wasn’t ready to remember, but ready or not, it would happen. And there was nothing he could do to stop it.
“How about we finish dinner, then watch a movie?” My lips curled up on one side. “I’ll even let you pick it.”
Nolan snorted. “Yes, because I’ve been dying to watch a chick flick all day.”
“Hey, I also have Lord of the Rings.” I poked him in the side. “You can’t say no to that.”
He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. “It’s you I can’t say no to.”
My heart leapfrogged into my throat. Before I could respond or kiss him back, he returned to the table and ate like the last few minutes had never happened. Fine—if it made him feel better for now, who was I to argue?
After dinner, I snuggled against him to watch the movie. We’d done this a million times before, but this time it felt different. We felt different, and I didn�
�t mean because we’d been kissing lately. I still hadn’t figured out what that was all about. I knew I should ask him what was going on between us, but hello, this was Aragorn we were talking about. He was nice to look at, and I didn’t have to figure out how he felt about me. He just went to work, killing orcs and making the girls watching the movie swoon.
At one point, as the wind and snow stormed outside the window, Nolan stiffened next to me—and I had a feeling it had nothing to do with the movie.
Chapter 21
Nolan
FIVE YEARS AGO
I paced back and forth on the wet sidewalk as Hailey did her best to soothe my sister on the phone over the sound of the storm. Single-story houses and tall trees stood on either side of the street, but I might as well be in the middle of nowhere as far as I was concerned.
I stopped my pacing long enough to glare at the flat tire. Too bad it wasn’t my father; if it had been, I could’ve beaten his fucking ass.
I needed to use the phone, but I didn’t want to take away the only lifeline Sarah had to knowing that help was coming. Once I hung up on her, she’d be alone.
But I didn’t have a choice.
I indicated for Hailey to give me the phone. “Hey, squirt. Everything’s going to be okay, but I need to hang up and call for help.” I didn’t want to tell her the truth, that I had a flat and wouldn’t be there for a while yet. “I’ll call you right back. Is that okay?”
“You promise?” my sister asked, her voice quiet against the pummeling hail. My heart hurt hearing her like this. I was her big brother and I was doing a shitty job of protecting her.
“I promise.”
“Okay.” The word came out as a defeated whisper.
As much as it killed me doing so, I ended the call and dialed 911.
“Nine-one-one. State your emergency,” a woman said on the other end. Several cars drove past, slowing down long enough for the drivers to check Hailey out.
I glared at them as I explained Sarah’s situation to the woman. I kept the information as brief as possible, avoiding anything that would give away my family’s situation. I told her something must have happened to my father. He should’ve been there by now. Who knew if I was making things worse for all of us, especially Mom. But I couldn’t risk my sister’s life because I was worried about that. Sarah came first.
“I’m sending someone to the address,” the woman said. “Please stay on the line.”
I shook my head even though she couldn’t see me. “I can’t. My sister’s alone. I need to call her back to make sure she’s okay. This is the only phone I have.”
“All right.”
I hung up and dialed Sarah’s number. She answered on the first ring. “You okay, squirt?”
“Are you coming?” she asked, sobbing. Lightning lit up the sky, followed a second later by the loud rumble of thunder. Sarah shrieked, and I pictured her huddled against the wall, her knees to her chest as she made herself as small as possible.
“Sarah, it’s going to be okay. You have to believe me. I’ll be there as soon as I can. But the police will be there before me. I called them.”
“I don’t wanna go to jail,” she said, her voice small.
“I swear you won’t go to jail. But I have a flat tire and it will take me a while to get there. The police will keep you safe until then. But while you wait, you can talk to Hailey. That way I can change the tire and we’ll be there as quickly as possible. Can you do that for me?”
“Yes,” she breathed.
I passed Hailey the phone. She took it from me, body shaking. When we had rushed from her house, she’d only been wearing a flimsy tank top and shorts that revealed her long legs. And now every part of her was drenched and covered in goose bumps.
Needing to get Hailey warm and to get to Sarah as soon as possible, I worked quickly to change the tire. Hailey continued talking to my sister.
“The police are there,” Hailey told me as I removed the tire.
“Tell Sarah I want to talk to them.”
She relayed the message to my sister. I began tightening the lug nuts and was almost finished when Hailey handed me the phone. “Hello?” I said into it.
“Is this Nolan Kincaid?” a gruff voice asked.
“Yes. Is my sister okay?”
“She will be. I’m driving her home.”
My gut tightened, and I was positive I was going to puke. “No one’s home right now.” Unless my father had returned, in which case there would be some serious shit flying soon. As far as the police knew, based on what I’d told the dispatcher, he could have been in an accident. That was the only explanation for why a normal, caring parent would be so late picking up his child from dance class.
“Where’s her mother?”
“She had a meeting tonight with the hospital foundation.” Dad allowed Mom to help them because it looked good, status-wise and all. And people might grow suspicious if she was never allowed to leave the house. “She won’t be home for another hour.”
“When do you expect to arrive home?”
“Not long. I’m almost finished changing my tire.”
“We’ll wait for you, then.”
“Okay.” I didn’t know if it would be all right. I couldn’t think that far ahead. For now, the main thing was my sister was finally safe.
Chapter 22
Hailey
Nolan was watching the TV, but I had a feeling he wasn’t seeing anything on the screen.
I shifted around and cupped his face with my hand. “Hey, what’s going on?”
Nolan blinked twice. “Sorry. I’m just tired.” He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I think I’ll go to bed now.”
He reopened his eyes, and his thoughts waged a battle in his mind as he deliberated for a moment. “Would…would you stay with me tonight?”
An excited thrill trembled through my body even though it shouldn’t have. It had been over five years since we had slept together, and that had been innocent. That was before we had kissed. And I meant really kissed, not just a friendly peck between close friends.
He smirked, and the slight hint of humor eased my fears about what he was going through. “Just keep your hands to yourself. I have my virtue to protect.”
I rolled my eyes. “Duly noted.”
Once I was ready for bed, I joined him. Even though this wasn’t the first time we’d been in bed together, just like when we watched the movie, things between us felt different.
But unlike on the couch, an ocean of space now separated us. Yet an odd sense of intimacy crackled in the air between us. I felt torn as to what I should do, or if I should do anything at all.
Nolan turned around and switched off the bedside lamp. “Good night, Forget-Me-Not.”
“Good night, rock star.” I laughed at his mocked groan. I wasn’t sleepy yet, so I listened to his breathing. Though he’d told me he was tired, it took forever before his breath became slow and even.
Light from the streetlights leaked into his room and rested gently on his face. I could see his old scar partially hidden behind his bangs, and bit back the temptation to trace my finger over it, somehow removing all his pain. A pain that had started way back, when his family first developed cracks in its once smooth surface.
Eventually my eyes drifted shut.
When I woke again, the room was still dark, other than the dim light from the streetlights. It didn’t take much to discover what had woken me up: Nolan was moving restlessly on the bed.
He let out a soft whimper, and my heart broke for him once again. At some point he had kicked the bedding off him, leaving his abs exposed. In the soft light, I could just make out the thick scar cutting across his skin.
“Nolan,” I whispered. “You’re having a nightmare.”
He didn’t respond. He kept tossing and turning, the covers becoming tangled with his legs. He mumbled what sounded like his sister’s name, then whimpered again.
I rested my hand on his chest. His he
art pounded hard against my palm. “Hey, Nolan, it’s okay. You’re just having a bad dream.” I moved my hand to his far shoulder and gently shook him.
His eyes opened and for a moment he stared at me like he wasn’t sure if I was real or not.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked, still partially leaning over him.
“No,” he whispered. He no longer looked scared, like he had been during the nightmare. His eyes, dark from the dim room, focused on my eyes, then drifted to my lips.
My heart fluttered against my ribs, nudging me to follow through on what the rest of my body wanted me to do. Mistake or not, I leaned down, my chest pressing against Nolan’s. Only difference was, I wasn’t half naked like Nolan. I had my tank top on but my girls were braless.
As the warmth seeped from his body through the thin fabric of my top, my nipples tingled with want and egged me on, like perky cheerleaders. I lightly pressed my lips against his. Nolan didn’t move. He didn’t speak. He just watched me through hooded eyes. I gently nipped his lower lip between my teeth. He sucked in a soft breath.
I pulled away but didn’t get far. His hand threaded through my hair and brought my mouth back to his. This time my kiss wasn’t tentative. This time I completely lost myself in it. Tasting Nolan was pure heaven. His tongue stroking mine was pure heaven. I moaned and deepened the kiss.
His hand slipped away from my hair and skimmed down my back. It continued to drift to the side of my breast. He paused there, and I almost whimpered in frustration. I didn’t know what we were to each other these days, and I didn’t want to think about it right now. Even if it was just for one night, I wanted to make love to him. To let him know how I felt about him. To temporarily forget everything else.
While still kissing him, I shifted so his hand covered my breast. Hey, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. My new motto—one I needed printed on my tank top. In reply, he brushed his thumb against my nipple. Desire cannonballed its way from my breast to between my legs. My body jerked slightly and I moaned again.
“Oh, God, Nolan,” I murmured in his ear. “I want you so badly. I want you inside me so badly.” I traced the tip of my tongue against the shell of his ear. Please want me like I want you.
This One Moment Page 11
